# Mostly a rant about a wife and her husband during hunting season



## frontleanNrest (Aug 20, 2015)

Advice please. This happens every year! Granted we've only been together for 4 years and this will be our 4th year hunting. Before I met my husband he had a group of guys he hunted with. He met me and incorporated me into his hunting traditions because I wanted to learn and become efficient. I don't go just to camp and cook their damn meals, I genuinely want to learn and be secure that if I ever needed to sustain myself or my family, I could. Problem is, when I go with the guys, my husband luterally puts me on the back burner and doesn't involve me in much other than the hike. He doesn't teach me, he just gives commands and then carries conversation with the guys. He gets frustrated when i dont underatand but doesn't make the time to actually explain anything. So this year we planned a 2 week trip that, due to his work schedule, got cut down to 5 days. It was supposed to be him and I and I was really excited that finally he was planning a hunt just us. I thought I'd get more learning opportunity without having to fight to get a word in. Well he just informed me that he called his buddy and invited him. It's fine but frustrating because he knows this was our trip. He didn't even ask me before changing the plan and when I voiced my disappointment he told me that I was ridiculous and implied that since he had been hunting with his buddies before he met me he would continue to do so. Basically I'm invited to hunt with them but he won't accommodate a request from me for us to have a hunt without other people. And I'm ridiculous for asking. It's like the good ole boys club and it's really frustrating and insulting. Growing up, my father took the time to teach me and involve me in so many things, hunting wasn't one of them though. He is a former marine so we did a lot of shooting, tactical hiking, reloading, and survival skills. He didn't treat me like a silly girl, he didn't act like I was incapable because I am the gentler sex, he was tough on me but in a good way. Dont get me wrong, im not a femunist and i believe God created mwn ans women with different capabilities and strengths. That being said, i do not believe that females are incapable of participating in activities that have been dominated by males historically. There may be some adjustments needed to be efficient but hasnt there always been more than one way to skin a cat? So, when I'm dealing with a man that is a fantastic outdoorsman, my husband, a know it all that can't take time to help me learn and appears to treat me differently when the boys are around, I get annoyed. I want to learn from him but it's impossible when he constantly dismisses my requests as ridiculous. Seriously, why is he so against one trip during the season where it's just us? And, how do I handle this? 

I'm aware that I'll get some rude responses from some guys so to the ones that have helpful advice, thank you in advance. 

Sent from my SM-G950U using Tapatalk


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## lilpooh31 (Nov 15, 2013)

I am sorry this is happening to you. My husband and I are each others best hunting partner. I know we women get a lot of flack for hunting, but in all honesty we end up as better hunters. We tend to be more patient and take better shots. 
Do you have some female friends that you could do a lady's hunt? Do you feel confident enough to go on your own? It must be very difficult to share how you feel when he says you are being ridiculous. You are not being ridiculous, by voicing your opinion.

I really don't have much advice to give. I just hope you can get your hubby to understand. Good luck and shoot the big one!


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## Pellethuntr (Aug 13, 2013)

Divorce him!?

But on a serious note, my wife whitetail hunts with me as much as she can but it usually only ends up being 3-4 days a year. That said the days that she is in stand with me I go the extra mile and put her in the best stand sights where there is the most likely chance of her taking a deer. Even if she shoots a doe and we spend half the night stomping around the woods to get it out and I have to gut it and cut it up she is still priority.

I was raised to treat women with respect and to take extra time to make sure the wife is happy. Doesn't matter if she likes dirt and being outside with the boys, she's still a lady.

Must work because both sets of my grandparents have been married 50+ and my mom and dad are closing in on 30!


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## hrtlnd164 (Mar 22, 2008)

Definitely sorry to read that story. I appreciate the fact that my wife and daughter both enjoy the outdoors. I also understand that their passion, drive and expectations for their hunting do not include the anal preparedness levels that I put into my outdoor endeavors. So for the past few seasons when they join me hunting, I leave my weapon home and spend the day hunting at their speed and just enjoying time spent together. Was hard to do at first, but now look forward to those days. They are a bit more limited these days with my daughter off in her 2nd year of college but we still manage the time. They learn what they inquire to learn and have really done well with taking some good quality deer with Archery, muzzle loader and rifle combined. 
If there are any Women in the Outdoors programs anywhere near you or archery clubs with some Outdoors ladies you could join, do so. Nothing wrong with ditching the hubby for a ladies day in the woods. As long as safety lessons are already there, the rest can be learned thru good experiences.


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## Corene1 (Apr 27, 2014)

You probably don't want to know what I would do , but if you really enjoy hunting and want to learn I would find another group of hunters that would let you join them. Do you belong to an archery club, or any local type of hunting organization? Personally I would find a group to hunt with and let him and his buddies fend for themselves. If you feel you must hunt with him and his buddies, set up your own camp and start honing your skills on your own, let him clean his own dishes and cook his own meals. Get yourself a good handheld GPS and quality day pack , then start with the hunting basics that you have seen him use . If you need to learn certain elements of hunting that your spouse won't help you with, try finding some local classes , I have never been to any type of outdoors related class that I haven't received plenty of help. Most instructors go out of their way when a women wants to learn. I teach some of the archery classes at the National Wild Turkey Foundations women in the outdoors here locally. It is amazing how much fun these ladies have and how much they learn when the spouse is left at home, they mostly lack the confidence to try as their spouses or boyfriends aren't supportive of them. https://www.nwtf.org/about/hunting-heritage/wito. Most of the women I have come in contact with are tenacious when it comes to learning outdoor skills and many come back the next year telling me they can shoot as well as their spouse. Your spouse should be grateful that you want to spend time with him in the outdoors ,or maybe he is just afraid you will get bigger buck that him. Good luck with your problem.


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## ZoomZoom (Sep 4, 2017)

He shouldn't dismiss you. He should be ashamed of himself. My husband includes me for everything. Yes we sometimes hunt with his buddies, but he makes sure that I'm not left out. The best sits I've ever had were when we sat together. He lets me shoot then. If you are Archery and in the Chicagoland area we could meet up for some shoots. Heck you can shoot with us in our backyard. Any question you have I'm sure my husband could answer for you. He's been hunting since he was a kid. Also, if you husband dismisses you do easily during hunting season you need at ask yourself does he do that the rest of the year as well. You don't need to get into any details. But if he doesnt treat you as an equal he may not be for you. I'm still not used to my husband doing that. My first husband, well let's just say i had to be 2 steps behind him with eyes down at the ground. But I know now how amazing it can be. You can even pm me any questions you have and I'll have my husband answer them for you. Hunting has become "our" passion. Not just his. From setting up stands and cameras, planting plots, checking old stands and putting up new straps, hunting, and then looking for sheds in the late winter early spring. It. Am be so much fun if he just included you.


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## Pete53 (Dec 5, 2011)

yes shame on your husband ! I have always wished my wife hunted but at least she doesn`t complain when I bowhunt which I do much more than average joe does, I hunt either with my son or just alone for now over 50 years.i guess I am just a loner but still wished my wife hunted , I `d make her supper everynite too ,which I do for my wife when I am home. the world needs more ladies with a passion to hunt ! good luck this fall,Pete53


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## 1/2 Bubble Off (Dec 29, 2016)

My wife doesn't share my passion for the outdoors. (Thankfully my daughter does) If she did, she'd be invited to hunt with me ALMOST every time. The reason I say ALMOST is 1 of my hunting properties, I'm not allowed to bring anyone else. (They wouldn't even allow my daughter to come sit in the stand and watch.) The other is for opening day of gun season. I've hunted the same spot with my dad, uncle and 2 cousins every year (except when I was deployed) since I was 8. It's just one day that we all get together, no wives/girlfriends/kids etc.... I don't suspect that will change anytime soon. It's not that we don't love our families, this one day is the only day of the year I'd tell my wife "no", my daughter doesn't (at least so far) have any interest in hunting with a rifle so it won't be a problem. Maybe, he has a similar thing going with his buddies for some of his hunts. 

This being said, he shouldn't ignore/dismiss you like that. I'd suggest an open and frank discussion about this. If there are certain trips that he would like to keep for "him and the boys" he should explain it to you. Then you can plan your own trip either solo or with another group.

I've never been lucky enough to have a wife/girlfriend that enjoyed hunting or fishing. I'd be happy if my wife simply understood why I love hunting and fishing. She accepts that it's "what I do" and she's happy when the freezer is full but, I know she dreads it when archery season starts and starts using terms like "deer or turkey season widow". 

Hope this helps....


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## rattlinman (Dec 30, 2004)

Here's the other side of the story, I'm going to recite from a friend's experience when he began taking his girlfriend bowhunting.

Buddy starts taking his girl. She wants to go all the time, everytime. He's happy at first, but then she starts complaining about well, everything.
Not seeing any deer
still haven't got a shot
Too cold, ready to go home
Stand is uncomfortable
Too hot and the mosquitoes are driving me nuts
Stand is too high
You spend too much time hunting with your buddies and should take me more.

He told me it was the worst mistake he ever made and wishes he had back all the relaxing time spent with his buddies just going hunting.

Not saying this is you......

Now, my wife and I bowhunt together. Literally, in the same tree. We enjoy our time together and often make it a teaching seminar. She doesn't go on out of state hunts or out of town hunts because these hunts are more serious, hunt longer, stress reliever, hunt with my die-hard fellow hunters. 
She completely understands that it is not anything to do with her, just that me and my buddies hunt different than me and her hunt and she's fine with that. This allows our time together in the tree to be stress free, relaxing, and ALL ABOUT HER. I don't invite myself on her horse back rides with her girl friends, so our boundaries work well for us. Been married for 29 years, hunted together for almost 20 of them.

Hope you find a solution to your issue!


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## Chuck0724 (Jan 19, 2017)

Sounds like u need to,sit down and have a serious talk about what u want and need from him...with that said I got my wife into hunting and the other outdoor stuff I do. Honestly half the time I would rather take her than my buddies she doesnt think she knows everything. I don't have to worry about if she want to go this way or use this call she thinks I know what we should be doing lol so she take it instride right or wrong the other great part if I want the new sitka jacket that's way overpriced I just by one for me and one for her and I never hear a word about how much money this or that cost its awesome. Plus I get to hunt more ya I'm not pulling the trigger but I get more excited when she nails one then when I do..If all else fails stop cooking or doing laundry (and no I'm not saying u should be) but if u stop doing things for him he might get the point good luck he might be surprised how great it is u just need to get him to do it!!!


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## Chuck0724 (Jan 19, 2017)

Forgot one last thing for most men its an ego thing there buddies dont take their wives so they think if they do its weak but I will say this..nothing inflates my ego more than when everybody knows my wife if probably the better hunter than all of us.she's more patient tuffer and calmer than any of my hunting buddies sure she has her "Girl" moments but so do men teaching ur wife to be better than ur buddys and getting to rub that in every yr is great


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## ZoomZoom (Sep 4, 2017)

My husband loves the fact that I love to hunt. I only found hunting recently, this coming season will be my third. And he cooks for me as well. He's put 55 lbs on me! I was only 115 lbs but I will admit that having the extra weight is hotter in the summer but I can do so many more things.


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## jim p (Oct 29, 2003)

I know two ladies that like to hunt more than their husbands. One lady joined a hunting club and is in a tree hunting every chance she gets. She kills more deer than most of the hunting club members and that does not sit well with the club. The lady sits in her stand and reads the bible. She looks up and checks for deer. Since she is sitting still and reading, she hardly ever gets picked off by the deer.

The other lady owns some property that she hunts and she likes to travel out west to hunt elk. her husband travels with her when she goes elk hunting. she was upset because when she got out hunting her husband would call wanting her to come back and fix him some food. I told her to make sure that her phone battery was dead and the problem would be solved.

Tell your husband what you want and tell him how it makes you feel when you are left out. Maybe he will come to see your point of view. If he does not come around, maybe try some hunting trips on your own or with a friend. You can learn everything that you need to know about deer hunting by watching youtube videos and reading books. If you are allowed to carry concealed where you hunt do so and be safe.

When you start bringing deer home your husband will ditch the other guys and he will be wanting you to show him what you are doing.


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## laur (Sep 6, 2017)

I had been hunting with a gun long before I met my current significant other, so I knew something about hunting already. But he encouraged me to take up bow hunting. We don't sit in the same stand but will often hunt the same general area at the same time, or if I go out by myself he makes himself available to come and help me if I am successful. I learned a lot from him and used to take all of his advice and opinions as gospel. But there are things that I ended up learning does not work for me that he said to do. Now I still ask him any questions I have but then I also research it on the internet and ask him about things I read. I don't disagree with him and tell him he is wrong, I just proceed in trying new things my way. This has made me more confident in my own ability. 

This website is a great resource, ask your questions here. You will get a variety of opinions, and then you can research between those opinions comparing to what you might read from local sources because what works in one part of the country might not be applicable to your area.

Editing to add: He appreciates the time and thought I put into scouting and stuff because he doesn't have a lot of time to do it. I put out game cameras and tell him where the deer activity is.


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## meatmissile (Oct 26, 2009)

DAMN!!! I am on my 3rd woman,2 of them were wives of mine who literally tried to stop my hunting.. To no avail, I finally decided that neither was worthy of my presence so now I am divorced and dating same girl for about 3 years. She isn't a hunter but likes going to set up and check cameras and food plot and farm work (she drives tractor) while I spread seed and fertilizer/lime. I have asked her about going and she has never took a real interest in sitting the tree. I figure I kinda got best of both worlds as my tree time is very precious for time away from my everyday world of work and family needs. But!! I think I would really like to see her get a chance to shoot a deer and see if it gets her ticker going like it does mine. I don't have any answers for your issue, but think if your that interested in becoming a hunteress and want to sit in a stand or blind then go do it your self and don't use him to get that. I learned all my deer hunting on my own with many learning curves and failures. Don't stop hunting if you truly enjoy it and know this!! I learned from my past 2 ex wives,,they couldn't make me happy if I couldn't be happy with my self. We owe no one happiness , we can choose to give and create it for each other. Keep talking to him and showing interest but don't give it up if its a true passion as it is for a lot of women. Best of luck with this.


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## krystenmcdaniel (May 25, 2017)




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## Rdot84 (Oct 1, 2014)

I would love for my wife to get into hunting and come with me. She claims she will still target shoot and says I can't sell her bow but it's getting mighty dusty. 

Your husband sounds like a douche. Be very clear and outright with him and express how douchey you feel he is being and tell him you will find someone else to teach you to hunt if he is uninterested. If that doesn't get his attention then you may have married the wrong guy.


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## mikegallo (Nov 14, 2008)

Paragraph challenged. . . hard for old guys to read a block of copy.


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## Elknutz_1 (Aug 17, 2016)

I take a few weeks off work every year for the elk hunt so I have plenty of time for myself. My wife will come down & hunt weekends & a couple more days here & there. She has killed elk & deer with a rifle but not with her bow yet. The last few years, when she is on the mountain I simply leave my bow in camp so I can focus on her having a good experience. I let her dictate the pace & the amount of effort we put in. I try to cater to her with meals & making sure her clothes & gear are ready. The only time I hardball her is when the alarm goes off at 4:30am - she doesn't have a choice to stay in bed.


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## Reelrydor (Jan 5, 2010)

I am single now--But out hunted, was more seriuos than and put more meat on the table than my ex. Probably part of the reason we are ex's, but whatever--It all comes out in the wash--


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## crowinghen (Oct 2, 2011)

*He didn't even ask me before changing the plan and when I voiced my disappointment he told me that I was ridiculous and implied that since he had been hunting with his buddies before he met me he would continue to do so. Basically I'm invited to hunt with them but he won't accommodate a request from me for us to have a hunt without other people. And I'm ridiculous for asking*.


This part here is the part that bothers me.^^^^^^


If I were you i think I might take the hint and look for hunting partners of my own, either another lady, or a couple. Sounds like there are organizations that might be helpful. Also there might be hunting clubs, archery clubs or gun clubs where you could find people. What part of the world are you in?
I am blessed to have a hunting partner/Hubby who respects me and has helped me learn, and now we do this as a major part of our life together. His success is my success, and vice-versa.

I am sorry your husband has this attitude< I think he is missing out .


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## XForce Girl (Feb 14, 2008)

He sounds like a child. Anyone who acts different when their buddies are around needs to do some growing up. 

If you keep wanting to go with him and he acts this way he will probably never change.

What you need to do is go out and hunt on your own or with some other friends and bring home the biggest buck he's ever seen.
Men can be pretty immature and their "guy" time is pretty important to them. However, since you are married, he needs to make you more of a priority, I would never tolerate my husband treating me like that. And he never would.


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## john800 (Nov 18, 2015)

Talk to him, hopefully you can come to an agreement to improve the situation. There have been times when i felt torn between keeping my buddies happy and my wife happy, being the one in the middle sucks. There may be more factors going through his head that you hadnt thought of, but that has to be answered by him


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## loveha (Mar 11, 2014)

Going to be extremely blunt. 
Husband needs to get his ****ing head out of his ass and you need to sit him down and tell him exactly how it is and will be. Then if that doesn't happen, there are a lot of hunters who are self taught, you can do the same if you want to do this seriously.


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## laur (Sep 6, 2017)

loveha said:


> Going to be extremely blunt.
> Husband needs to get his ****ing head out of his ass and you need to sit him down and tell him exactly how it is and will be. Then if that doesn't happen, there are a lot of hunters who are self taught, you can do the same if you want to do this seriously.


Yep. Go out and lay them down, then call him to gut and drag


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## slamdmini (Jan 31, 2014)

im not one to beat around the bush, so im gonna tell it like i see it. ur husband is a douche. at least when it comes to hunting. ive been with my wife for almost 15 years, and married for almost 9. before we met the only thing she did was run cross country. she now hunts, fishes, rides motocross and does everything else i do. i taught her how to do all of it. why? because i wanted her to be with me. the times she is with me are awesome, and i go out of my way to help her as much as possible. we now have a 2 1/2 yr old so its harder for us to do those things together and i truly miss those days. i cant wait til the days i get to go out with my wife and daughter. i think u need to have a nice sit down with ur hubby and really talk about this. if he acts like this in all aspects of ur life u guys need counseling. plain and simple.


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## bobbyh (Dec 22, 2008)

Teach yourself, youtube,, here,, and most hunting forums can answer your questions. Read some books on deer, and how to hunt them, and on survival skills as you never know what may happen. the next time he goes away to hunt with his buddies, don't go, instead go test your new learned skills by yourself. for me personally hunting alone is much more enjoyable than with a bunch of people anyway.
good luck.


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## Liv4Rut (Mar 24, 2006)

Make friends with a man you can trust that will teach you about hunting and take you. It would probably change your husband's attitude pretty quick when your new guy friend is taking you hunting because he is willing to teach you. I think the best experiences I have had in the field is taking other people. People who have never hunted or kids etc. I would also love it if my wife would go but I ruined her when dating. I took her turkey hunting once and I had the best intentions as I was taking her to a spot I knew we would get a bird. The problem was it was a tough walk and I should have thought more of her capabilities. She could do it, just wasn't used to do that type of walking in the dark.

She was so mad at me by the time we got there she wouldn't even talk to me. I truly had the best intentions of taking her to my best spot so she could experience it all but I blew it. Every time I ask her to go she thinks it will be just like that. It kills me because at my dads farm we can literally drive within 30 yards of the best blind for the last 1.5hr of the day but she won't do it. My daughter and son are showing interest though.

Good luck, just talk to him more I guess.


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## jdoc (Jul 31, 2012)

As a man I am sorry for your husband. I was brought up in the mid west and taught some hunting skills but learned mostly on my own as an adult and continue to learn. My wife is a city girl I met well stationed with the marines and if she where to show the slightest interest in hunting I would have the patience of a saint to teach her everything I know and move mountains to have her hunt with me! Lean on the friends you have and the ones you make on here to teach yourself if you have to and become the best huntress you can, I don't want to say show him up ( kinda I do ) but make him realize what he has. If he can't see that he has the best hunting partner in you then hunt without him till he does or till you get fed up and move on. Partnership is equall otherwise it's not worth it, if you ever need help just reach out to one of us. Best of luck.


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## survivalistd (Jun 26, 2017)

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Sent from my SM-N920T using Tapatalk


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## gutpileraider (Jul 27, 2016)

This is the right thread for me to post this story, 100% true.

My uncle was a great outdoorsman and hunter (rifle), he had a trophy room full of mounts, had lakes & mountains named after him, newspaper articles about him, books mention him and to this day his 2nd best mule deer is like 6th all time state record. His initials are WFS, his wifes name was Celia... both extraordinary people from another era. They lived a frugal life on their small farm in which only the basics were store bought, few conveniences, no TV ect. My uncle was a great man in so many respects, but Celia was the motor that made everything run, from house to farm to campsite, she did it all. And by that I mean she got by with next to nothing by todays standards and made huckleberry pies on the campfire, churned butter & canned everything. Celia was attractive, 1/4 Indian and some would think the perfect woman but she really wanted my uncle to take her hunting. Well WFS dismissed her request's to hunt... "you can't take a woman hunting"... that sort of thinking. 
Well WFS was a mail carrier his whole life and during hunting season so many years ago, he had Celia run his mail route while he went to his favorite hunting spot on Icicle Ridge, a 4000' climb. Well, Celia finished the mail route early and spotted a nice buck on the way home, pulled the rifle from behind the seat & shot it. She field dressed it, took it home and then packed the liver up to my uncles camp (trust me a steep hike). My uncle was gone hunting, Celia made a tripod holding the liver and a couple onions and left a note, "I want to start hunting you stubborn man." 
She walked back down that steep ridge and went back home. WFS said later, "well if she wants to go that bad maybe I should take her." Celia died in 1969, my uncle was heartbroken and once came to the house and read a poem he wrote about Celia through uncommon tears. WFS died in 1972, losing Celia was too much for him.


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## LONG RANGE (Sep 3, 2014)

You should have a set down talk with him. Explain how you feel and talk it out. Not go on a forum and ask the opinion of a bunch of strangers. That's how to make a marriage work is communication. It would piss me off as a husband to know my wife had a issue and went on here and ask this! I would want her to talk to me about it!


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## laur (Sep 6, 2017)

> You should have a set down talk with him. Explain how you feel and talk it out. Not go on a forum and ask the opinion of a bunch of strangers. That's how to make a marriage work is communication. It would piss me off as a husband to know my wife had a issue and went on here and ask this! I would want her to talk to me about it!


It sounds like she did. This was from her first post:
"He didn't even ask me before changing the plan and when I voiced my disappointment he told me that I was ridiculous and implied that since he had been hunting with his buddies before he met me he would continue to do so. Basically I'm invited to hunt with them but he won't accommodate a request from me for us to have a hunt without other people. And I'm ridiculous for asking. It's like the good ole boys club and it's really frustrating and insulting. "


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## Rat (Jun 19, 2004)

We men can be stubborn at times and we are set in our ways for sure. I was bound and determined to turn my wife into a bow hunter. I bought her a bow, set her up, coached her in shooting. She was shooting great in no time, we started hitting 3D tournaments together so I went the next logical step; a hunting trip. I thought she had a great time, never did shoot anything though, but I was happy to have my wife hunting with me and I was thought she was happy to be hunting. 

She wasn't. It wasn't until she sat me down and told me that she wasn't happy hunting that I knew she wasn't happy. She has no desire to kill an animal, that's all. We still shoot together, we still attend 15-20 3D shoots a year together, but we no longer hunt together. And I'm fine with that. 

My point is, sometimes the communication needs to be blunt when talking to men, like talking to a 5 year old. Let him know on no uncertain terms what it is you want. 

If he is unwilling to accommodate that then find a group that will, or learn to plan your own hunts. If I were you, I would plan my hunts at the same time of his hunts, I would do the research out loud, have the topo maps, aerial maps and other stuff out as well; maybe even ask his advice on a few things. I would bet that once he sees you are serious he may change his mind. 

I am no psychologist, but maybe he just thinks you are in it to be around him and aren't really that serious about really hunting. Again, communication is key, like talking to a 5 year old. 

I hope you get what you are looking for.


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## Rikki (Oct 3, 2017)

If you start going out with other people, his attitude is going to change in a heartbeat. Find some other peeps to help you learn to hunt...you will see


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## Bobman (Dec 18, 2004)

your husband is a jerk and not good enough for you

let him read this thread and see what decent people think of the way he’s acting


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