# funny requests at the bowshop



## apache pilot

i had a guy come in the shop and ask to speak with T.M. Hunter one day. my stomach hurt for 2 days i laughed so hard with the guys. it seems as though every day i heard pendulum sights called pendleton and penjalum. what kind of funny things were asked in your bowshops?


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## BuckKilla

why don't you carry Bowtech? hahahaha still gets me every time


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## lucky buck

Wher so you keep the doe estrogen or doe uterous? I'm being serious too.


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## apache pilot

ha ha. thats funny:darkbeer:


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## MKNOX

" My draw length is 30" " Gets me every time.


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## LiteSpeed1

Sorry not a request but.....Heard a guy at the shop I go to say that he shot his first of three 200" bucks when he was 12 years old. All three of these bucks were killed within a half mile of a city that's about 80,000 population. Then this guy got a desert sheep hunt for $2,000 because the person who had the $10,000 tag got sick and couldn't go. Oh yeah, he got a ram that would rank #2 in P & Y, but he doesn't believe in "the book".


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## henry jay

im looking for a smooth drawing,shock free,fast and forgiving matthews!hahahahahahahahahahaha


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## xman59

guy came in with his first bow and wanted the draw length adjusted, along with the let off and poundage,,, it was a recurve, asked him where he got it from and he said his friend gave it to him and told him what to have done....

guy barely 5'6" wanted his draw lengthened from 31" to 32" his bow wasnt fast enough.. i told him to grow longer arms and his buddies got a good laugh, he was ticked!

customer came in with his wife,, bought a half dozen arrows and shot about 3" at 10 yards,,, was braggin to her how good he was,, and when she got to where she could shoot that good he would buy her a new bow rigged out... i handed her my wifes bow, she shot 6 full length gt75-95 shafts,all touching and had never seen the bow before... he ate crow that nite, but my wife was perturbed!, that was the 4th time i had sold her bow!!


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## rednecbowhunter

henry jay said:


> im looking for a smooth drawing,shock free,fast and forgiving matthews!hahahahahahahahahahaha


Guess he hasnt heard of the Z7


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## henry jay

rednecbowhunter said:


> Guess he hasnt heard of the Z7


yep but it still dont fit the description[sorry cant help] i will stop now


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## manybows

*Oh Man, I have been waiting for this thread!!*

Heard the best one ever, not at a shop but at a 3-D shoot. A mutual buddy joined us at a shoot and stated that his bow had just been repaired....his *cervix* was broken. I thought I was going to shoot Mt Dew out of my nose!!! Worst thing was, he repeated it several times...I did not have the heart or the composure to correct him.....I can't tie a serving to this day without chuckling. I consider this to be the crown jewel of malaprops


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## dtrkyman

guy calls asking to see about making his bow more quiet,upon further investigation he didnt have any arrows yet:mg:


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## SD BowHunter

dtrkyman said:


> guy calls asking to see about making his bow more quiet,upon further investigation he didnt have any arrows yet:mg:


:eek2:


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## manybows

*You reminded me of another...*



dtrkyman said:


> guy calls asking to see about making his bow more quiet,upon further investigation he didnt have any arrows yet:mg:


Guy came into the shop with bow parts in a box from a bow he had purchased less than a month ago. Shop owner asked what had happened, as this was very good quality bow at the time. Buyer stated "I dunno, I just practice 30 or so shots a night".......Turns out the guy was DRY FIRING the bow at the house to practice. :mg:


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## shooter 21

man that cervix thing is funny:embara:


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## Aggieland

I hope this thread goes on forever.. I dont work in a shop, but have seen some of the customers and I know you guys have some gut busters coming .. lol


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## Hoytbowman1

A guy I work with just bought the brand new(at that time) Hoyt Trykon. I asked him how it was shooting and how the bow felt. 
He said...
"It is great right now, but I still haven't put my vibrator on it yet. When I do, I think I will fall in love with the way it feels." :mg: 
He said this in front of 3 other people and after we all stopped laughing I asked him (amoung many other questions) if he thought the bow would shoot better with a vibrator or with a stabilizer...lol...he still catches hell about it to this day....lol...


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## MEM

I had a guy come in the night before the first day of Pa archery and picked up his bow. We went to the range and he seemed very unsure of himself ie putting on release, etc. I asked him if he ever shot a bow before and he told me he did. He then went to nock his arrow on his bow while holding the bow up side down.


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## Plain & Simple

"Could you switch this cable gaurd over so I can shoot my bow left handed" uttered by a guy who had just bought a right handed bow (from a different shop) and realized it wouldn't work. Honest to god.


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## dustoffer

Yes--they live among us, and they vote too!!!


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## TOOL

At the local shop one day, I saw a fella come up to the counter and ask for a bow and some arrows with some "of them pointy triangles." When he was asked what he would be hunting, he replied: "I'm just gonna practice in the back yard on trees and rocks and stuff."


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## idavis

TOOL said:


> At the local shop one day, I saw a fella come up to the counter and ask for a bow and some arrows with some "of them pointy triangles." When he was asked what he would be hunting, he replied: "I'm just gonna practice in the back yard on trees and rocks and stuff."


I thought I was the only one in the shop, I didn't see you.

I have been shooting daily and can hit many rocks and stuff.


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## MoNofletch

"Why do I keep hitting my arm?" 
Your draw is too long!
"no it fits me perfectly"
His bow was set at 31.5 after the wing span method--27.5. he still refused to believe me. Then, magically, no more arm slap!!


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## telephone man

a coworker bought a used switchback and came over to shoot. he didnt have a release or any arrows i let him shoot 1 of my arrows and he missed the target 3 ft left. i told him it looked like he needed a longer draw length because i had trouble seeing thru his peep. he said " is that what that thing on the string is?"


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## apache pilot

manybows said:


> Heard the best one ever, not at a shop but at a 3-D shoot. A mutual buddy joined us at a shoot and stated that his bow had just been repaired....his *cervix* was broken. I thought I was going to shoot Mt Dew out of my nose!!! Worst thing was, he repeated it several times...I did not have the heart or the composure to correct him.....I can't tie a serving to this day without chuckling. I consider this to be the crown jewel of malaprops


holy crap are you serious? cervix??? lmao. guys this thread may become classic if we get more stories like this


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## Finger_Flinger

This didn't occur @ a shop, but, rather on ebay. 

I was looking @ an older bow that a guy had bought @ an estate sale or something similar. He stated in the auction that he knew nothing about the bow, or hunting in general. He then stated he suspected the bow would be excellent for hunting as the sound it makes when releasing the string was enough to scare any animal to death!

I almost couldn't believe it, so I messaged the guy to tell him he should never fire a bow without an arrow, & that he BEST not sell it to some unsuspecting person who hadn't read the descrption throughly. 

Within a day or two, the auction was pulled down.


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## Bakdahelup

manybows said:


> Guy came into the shop with bow parts in a box from a bow he had purchased less than a month ago. Shop owner asked what had happened, as this was very good quality bow at the time. Buyer stated "I dunno, I just practice 30 or so shots a night".......Turns out the guy was DRY FIRING the bow at the house to practice. :mg:


Hey I know that guy!


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## Ohio Mossy Oak

what spline arrows do i need is one of my favorites..Or the people who think a .400 spine..400 means how heavy the arrow is..etc


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## STUDENT-ARCHER

my bow shoots flat from 0-60yards...


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## okiehunt

When guys come in shooting a 310 IBO bow and swear up and down that their bow is shooting 320fps and that they have shot it through a chrono. I cant help but throw the chrono out there and say lets see and watch their mouth's drop when it says around 240fps...


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## Acts 10:13

I agree...this thread could be epic.

TTT
_Posted via Mobile Device_


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## lee martin

A guy wearing a " Pillsbury Dope Boy " T-shirt walked up to me in my shop and asked for 44 magnesium bullets. I just replied----------" We are out "


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## popestev

Not at a shop but I teach Bow hunters ed class, I see a bunch of people come through with box store bows, specifically Sportsman's where they don't set the DL the same on some of the dual cam bows like the Diamonds. You really have to wonder about the person who set it up. "Well here you go we got it shooting bullet holes through paper you should be good to go."


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## Pickert

Yeah this thread is great, keep it going.:darkbeer:


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## AllOut

okiehunt said:


> When guys come in shooting a 310 IBO bow and swear up and down that their bow is shooting 320fps and that they have shot it through a chrono. I cant help but throw the chrono out there and say lets see and watch their mouth's drop when it says around 240fps...


sounds like u need to recalibrate your chron


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## 123 4/8 P&Y

*ttt*



isaacd said:


> I thought I was the only one in the shop, I didn't see you.
> 
> I have been shooting daily and can hit many rocks and stuff.


HA!!! How are your pointy triangles holding up!?


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## ILLbucknut

This is no joke...

I watched a kid grab a bow off the shelf and draw it as if he was trying to shoot himself. All the time his dad was standing there watching. After drawing several bows backwards, the owner seen what was going on and litterally ran to stop him from touching another bow.

Funny as hell!


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## apache pilot

morning bump!


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## 76Scout-Dad

OK, well, I was the customer and I heard the "tech" say the crazy thing. I had a dozen Easton’s that I simply needed cut so I could fletch them up for my wife. I took them to a Bass Pro that’s on my way home from work. Walked up to the counter, asked the young man if he wouldn’t mind cutting these down. He said sure, took the arrows from me. Looked at them with this funny expression on his face for about 20 seconds. He them addressed me, looked me square in the eye and asked, “What are these arrows made of?”. Took me a minute to ponder if he was serious, and by the look on his face I knew he was. I calmly replied…”Aluminum”.
The kid then proceeded to tell me that he’d never seen “metal” arrows before.


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## lee martin

A Soccer mom came into out shop one morning and asked for Mossy Oak Break Out camo.


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## ryan-b

dustoffer said:


> Yes--they live among us, and they vote too!!!


Im not nearly as concerned with the fact that they vote, as I am with the fact that they are in the woods with a weapon!!:behindsof


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## Jshep40

I was at a pro shop and a guy comes in and says he bought a used bow and would like to shoot it on the range. The shop owner says sure. The guy pays and walks around to the range. I walk back to the range and get ready to shoot. The huy is looking at the bow and release and I can not help but look. It is a older PSE Baby G-Force. That was the first "Top of the line" bow I ever owned. He pulls it out puts on his release and reaches down and grabs an arrow. I decide to watch when I think, "holy crap, those are wood arrows." He had bought them at a differnt garage sale and was going to shoot those with his new bow.


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## 3children

A guy calls on the phone to ask if I would have a set of strings for his bow! He said they broke when he took the first shot at home. I asked if he had dry fired the bow, "no, I wet the bow first"!
While working at a gun shop, had a woman come in and asked for some blanks for target pratice! I also had a lady come in and bought a .25 "saturday nite special". I asked what was she planning on doing with it, for I teach pistol shooting. She said she had plans to go to the archery range and shoot one of the moose and blame it on one of those bow guys. I called the F&G and she followed through with what she said she would do. This was in Alaska. By the way she did jail time!!!


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## calimonster

i was in a local shop getting some supplies and this guy in his mid 30's never shot a bow in his life, wanted to buy a bow for hunting season. So he picked up a mathews reezen took it back to the range, the shop owner was standing there and he drew it back and let go of the RISER!!!!!!!!! it was ugly....poor reezen hahaha


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## Just_Some_Guy

lee martin said:


> A guy wearing a " Pillsbury Dope Boy " T-shirt walked up to me in my shop and asked for 44 magnesium bullets. I just replied----------" We are out "


 Classic! Great response too. 




ryan-b said:


> Im not nearly as concerned with the fact that they vote, as I am with the fact that they are in the woods with a weapon!!:behindsof


I'm much more concerned with their voting. In the woods the worst they can do is hurt themselves or one of us, with voting they can screw us all. 



A number of years ago I was in a Wal-Mart getting a hunting license and some other stuff. My step-dad and I were in line at the sporting goods section when some not quite right people were looking at the shelves and talking amongst themselves. My step dad taps me on the shoulder and says "He wants to talk to you" and points at of of the gentlemen. He asked "Would this be good for deer hunting?" as he's holding out a box that prominently read DAISY. It was hard to stifle the laughter, but the guy was serious as far as I could tell. I happened to be buying a Savage in .243 (Christmas present for my mom) and said you need something like this or bigger. He replied "Oh, okay....hunter". 


Truth be told I should have said "That'll do just fine." That way he'd have only been in the woods with a BB gun and at most could have only put an eye out.


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## hoyt 07

calimonster said:


> i was in a local shop getting some supplies and this guy in his mid 30's never shot a bow in his life, wanted to buy a bow for hunting season. So he picked up a mathews reezen took it back to the range, the shop owner was standing there and he drew it back and let go of the RISER!!!!!!!!! it was ugly....poor reezen hahaha


I would have liked to see that one. These are some great ones keep them coming.


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## bocefus78

*Hilarious*

So far, the dope boy story takes the cake IMO

"we are out" what a response...I don't think I could have kept it that simple. At least try to sell him a t shirt.


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## Whaack

I was at our local Gander Mountain yesterday in the archery department and I see a young mom with a little daughter making her way around the aisles. She is looking frustrated when a store employee finally asks her if he can help.

She says yes, "I need a cardboard deer for my husbands birthday gift." The employee looks pretty puzzled for a few moments but I have a hunch she is looking for one of those deer decoys. He probes a few moments longer when I offer that maybe she is looking for a decoy. He takes her over to the decoys and bam! 

I was so happy I could be of assistance!


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## nelliott

We had a guy come into the shop that I use to work at and was showing off to his gf. The guy picked up an old browning bow and was showing her how easy it was to hold back. So the guy decided to put the string behind his head to show off. As soon as I looked down the isle to see if they needed any help I noticed what he was doing and WHACK!!! The string slipped smacked him on the back of the head and proceeded on to bend the cam and break the string. Funny but could have been bad.


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## lee martin

I have lots of these :darkbeer:

A guy called me a few years back and told me that he had a neoprene bow string and wanted me to build him a new one I told him that neoprene was not a string material , but I would be glad to make him one of my strings. He proceeded to tell me that I had built the neoprene string for him years back and that it was the best string that he ever had. I asked him to come to the shop and we would figure out the deal. FINALLY, I convinced him that his string wasnt neoprene, but his Muck boots were :wink:


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## hoyt3

I worked at Gander for a few months in Archery/Firearms...I had one guy asked me if 

"...do I need to sight in a crossbow?"


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## bambieslayer

worst I ever saw was a guy taking broadheads out of the pack to see how sharp they were .tested on his finger!
they sure are sharp got him a nice trip to the er for some stitch work.



what scares me the most is not that these type of people vote or that they hunt 

its the fact that they breed  probably with someone just as ******ed as themselves


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## PAstringking

LiteSpeed1 said:


> Sorry not a request but.....Heard a guy at the shop I go to say that he shot his first of three 200" bucks when he was 12 years old. All three of these bucks were killed within a half mile of a city that's about 80,000 population. Then this guy got a desert sheep hunt for $2,000 because the person who had the $10,000 tag got sick and couldn't go. Oh yeah, he got a ram that would rank #2 in P & Y, but he doesn't believe in "the book".


that basically describes about 50 AT members :zip:


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## PAstringking

MEM said:


> I had a guy come in the night before the first day of Pa archery and picked up his bow. We went to the range and he seemed very unsure of himself ie putting on release, etc. I asked him if he ever shot a bow before and he told me he did. He then went to nock his arrow on his bow while holding the bow up side down.


yep...thats PA for ya


now they dont have to worry about it...he is out there with an X-bow :wink::zip:


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## ahunter55

I was a dealer back when recurves were the only bow until compound switch in the early 70s so i've heard a ton BUT I think the most often was
I want a 100# Bow from a new archer.
I never laughed BUT in those days I had a 80# recurve & then later 70# compounds (20% let off in those days).
We would go into the lanes area & I would give them the bow & say, pull this back so we can get an idea of your draw length.
When they could't or struggled I would tell them it wasn't uncommon but you don't need all this to Bowhunt deer or whatever.
I'd show them a few different weights usually starting around 45-50#s in recurves & 50 in compounds. With a little help I think I did all my NEW customers a good job in proper set up. I also took the time to tell them at a later date if they felt they wanted a heavier Bow we could work something out. 20 years of many dedicated customers, hunters & archers that became good friends.
Oh, I've heard I shot this one at 100 yards & I killed the biggest whatever in such & such year. I just do the head nod & deaf ear routine.
New people DO NOT KNOW so it's up to us to show them. If their a wise A--, you know right off, thats a different story...


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## PAstringking

bambieslayer said:


> its the fact that they breed  probably with someone just as ******ed as themselves


AMEN:mg:!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


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## OneArmArrowSlinger

Was at our local shop just BS'ing w/ the techs & owner, like any normal Saturday, when some out of towners came in to get their bows set up. First guy gets a whisker biscuit & sights put on. Tech gets done installing everything and gets it shooting great through paper so he hands the bow to the guy. The guy takes it & says, "Thanks for getting it sighted in, I'm ready to hit the woods now!" Tech informs him that its a new sight & has not been sighted in yet, all he had done was install it & set up the rest, so the guy then asks the tech to do it for him. The tech stood there for a second looking at me with a look on his face like, "Is this guy serious?" After a moment of awkward silence he replies that sighting in is something the shooter must do since a bow fits everyone different. The dude then proceeds to get mad. "Well what am I paying you guys to set this thing up for then!? I could have bolted the damn thing on!" and so on. He the goes to the owner and starts in on him. "Your tech said that he can't sight in my bow, what kind of idiots do you have working here!? He probably doesn't even know how to sight it in! I just want it sighted in so I can go hit the woods! You're the owner, if your techs can't do it then I need you to get my bow sighted in." By this time there are about half a dozen ******** trying not to laugh at this dude because he was making quite a scene. The owner of the shop told him the same thing the tech did, that it was something the shooter must do b/c everyone shoots differently. After that comment he proceeded to mutter a few words about how big of a cracker jack stand the shop was along w/ a few choice words and stormed out saying he wouldn't be back and he would get his guide to do it. Needless to say the shop was filled with laughter by the time he hit the exit.


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## JoeRE

I recently was in a bow shop in NW Illinois (I will not be more specific) where one of the owners who was behind the counter at the time professed to enjoy shooting deer in the head...yes, with a bow.

The fruitcakes are not always in front of the counter I guess.


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## Usingmyrights

popestev said:


> Not at a shop but I teach Bow hunters ed class, I see a bunch of people come through with box store bows, specifically Sportsman's where they don't set the DL the same on some of the dual cam bows like the Diamonds. You really have to wonder about the person who set it up. "Well here you go we got it shooting bullet holes through paper you should be good to go."


Diamonds are single cam bows.


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## Pickert

76Scout-Dad said:


> OK, well, I was the customer and I heard the "tech" say the crazy thing. I had a dozen Easton’s that I simply needed cut so I could fletch them up for my wife. I took them to a Bass Pro that’s on my way home from work. Walked up to the counter, asked the young man if he wouldn’t mind cutting these down. He said sure, took the arrows from me. Looked at them with this funny expression on his face for about 20 seconds. He them addressed me, looked me square in the eye and asked, “What are these arrows made of?”. Took me a minute to ponder if he was serious, and by the look on his face I knew he was. I calmly replied…”Aluminum”.
> The kid then proceeded to tell me that he’d never seen “metal” arrows before.


Wow, really??
Was that at the Olathe BP? If so I go in and BS with some of those guys sometimes. I would quiz them if I new which one had said that.


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## Drawin Deadly

henry jay said:


> im looking for a smooth drawing,shock free,fast and forgiving matthews!hahahahahahahahahahaha


I got your mathews!


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## Cajun83

Usingmyrights said:


> Diamonds are single cam bows.


Yep... you got him!


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## Hoytbowman1

Usingmyrights said:


> Diamonds are single cam bows.


Not all of them..........Razor Edge bow. My son has one of these and when we got it home I was looking at it and setting it up for him and the draw length wasn't set the same on both cams.


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## Hoytbowman1

Cajun83 said:


> Yep... you got him!


You beat me to it by just a little bit....lol...


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## Pickert

*Another BPS story*

I was at our local Bass Pro sometime last year or something. I don't remember if I was just there and decided to shoot some bows or if I was there with someone that was looking to get a bow. Anyways...

We grabbed a bow off the rack and we take it to the range to shoot it. Well all the arrows were too short for it. Looking closer at the bow one of the employees put the Hostage rest on backwards! Instead of being on the inside of the riser they had it on the outside! So a few extra inches would have been needed on the arrows to shoot it like that.

I guess maybe they rig them that way so they don't have to take the time to cut down arrows, just sell them as is. LOL


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## preyquester

'AT A SHOOT' guy was shooting a mathews bare bow & off the shelf was shooting way right & could not figure it out.i told him bare bow or not that bow needed to be center shot.fool got hot & said he had been shooting 30years & didn't need any of that junk i had on the very same bow.i shot 100% that day & not sure he hit one target.


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## Usingmyrights

The Razors Edge is also the only dual cam bow in their adult line up. It'd actually, be more of an adolescent bow. They're (Diamond) is marketed as basically being a single cam bowtech


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## Slippy Field

BuckKilla said:


> why don't you carry Bowtech? hahahaha still gets me every time


:lol:


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## baldbear2009

This is TRUE ---
Couple years back there was a few guys talking about bow fishing---another guy walks in & overhearing thier topic walks up and asks "how do you get a worm to stay on the arrow " he WAS serious--glad I was behind the counter !

I also sell a lot of "whisky" biscuits


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## Devilfan

My dad, brother, uncle and myself all walked into Butts-N-Bows owned by Len Cardinale to buy a couple of Flu Flu arrows. My uncle goes right up to Len and asks him for a couple of "Woof Woof" arrows. The look on Len's face was priceless. He just stood there for a few seconds and asked my uncle what heck woof woof arrow was. We bailed out my uncle at that point and told Len that he meant to say Flu Flu arrows. We never let him live that one down. That happened over 25 years ago and I am still laughing just as hard as I did back then.


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## Mooreski

Young guy walks in to the local pro shop and says "I want me some of them there broadheads that throws and axe through the animal." We knew what he meant, but it just sounded funny.

Everyone was in too much awe to respond.....


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## OpenSeason1

Hoytbowman1 said:


> A guy I work with just bought the brand new(at that time) Hoyt Trykon. I asked him how it was shooting and how the bow felt.
> He said...
> "It is great right now, but I still haven't put my vibrator on it yet. When I do, I think I will fall in love with the way it feels." :mg:
> He said this in front of 3 other people and after we all stopped laughing I asked him (amoung many other questions) if he thought the bow would shoot better with a vibrator or with a stabilizer...lol...he still catches hell about it to this day....lol...


I just about spit lunch all over the screen reading that one!!


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## camohunter24736

*Oh I got one for ya*

Working as a tech and a guy comes in and needs some hunting arrows and broad heads. I ask him what he is shooting now. He says I got a few hunting arrows left but no more broad heads. So I ask what size arrows? He says there hunting size. Then I tell him it would be better if he just brought the arrows in because arrows are arrows and there is really no difference in hunting or practice arrows. The word "practice" some how is a different language for this guy. On to broad heads. I ask what grain are your current practice tips, in order to match them to the broadhead. He says what do you mean. I say well your broad heads should be the same weight as your broadheads. He is 100% lost. Within the next 10 minutes of conversation I find out the guy has been hunting for 7 years and has never hit a thing. He didn't know he had to practice or sight anything in. He bought a bow put on a rest and a sight and bought some arrows with some broadheads and went and shot them at deer in the woods. He just put the pin on the deer and let er fly.


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## Viper69

I had a guy come in yesterday and tell me how great the Rage broadheads were. I told him they all are good if you hittem where you should and he replied "No you can hit them anywhere and it will kill them". I stated that you better not hit solid bone and he said no problem they will blow through any bone out there!


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## johnson21

I had an out of town guy that was comming into town to go on a muley hunt with his buddies. He brought his older mathews in and wanted me to change the draw. I told him that they are cam spacific and I wouldnt be able to with out a diff cam. He then told me "well just put a 3" or 4" d Loop to make up the room" I didnt know what to say or do. He was 30" and brought in a 27" bow.


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## Usingmyrights

> Working as a tech and a guy comes in and needs some hunting arrows and broad heads. I ask him what he is shooting now. He says I got a few hunting arrows left but no more broad heads. So I ask what size arrows? He says there hunting size. Then I tell him it would be better if he just brought the arrows in because arrows are arrows and there is really no difference in hunting or practice arrows. The word "practice" some how is a different language for this guy. On to broad heads. I ask what grain are your current practice tips, in order to match them to the broadhead. He says what do you mean. I say well your broad heads should be the same weight as your broadheads. He is 100% lost. Within the next 10 minutes of conversation I find out the guy has been hunting for 7 years and has never hit a thing. He didn't know he had to practice or sight anything in. He bought a bow put on a rest and a sight and bought some arrows with some broadheads and went and shot them at deer in the woods. He just put the pin on the deer and let er fly.


This sounds like when I worked the counter at a gun shop and a banger would come in looking for a 9mm "clip". We'd ask for what kind of gun and they wouldn't know, but had it in the car. They'd come back a few minutes later with maybe just the brand name or some off the wall thing from the gun. We'd ask them to bring it in so that we could match it up, but they'd refuse. We'd then just hand em something. Sometimes we'd go through a couple of "thats not it, before they'd give up and leave" and sometimes they'd buy whatever we handed to them.


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## bishjr

My bowtech who has been working on bows most of his life and knows nothing but them. He works at scheels, but has worked on bows for 16 years at 2 different shops. He is working and a guy comes in saying his arrows are shooting really low. Danny then tells him the D-loop is to high by almost an inch. The customer tell Danny that the rest is a drop away rest and raises when the bow is drawn. Needless to say the new joke when I see him is, "My arrows are shooting low." :wink:


----------



## ZA206

I was in the local Bass Pro, browsing the archery isles and I got to the broadhead isle and was quietly looking around. Two guys come over and start looking at broadheads with me.

One of them picks up a pack of Gobbler Guillotines and says to the other. "Holy crap.... I just found my new broadhead!". (It was July). He buddy replies "Yea, that thing will kill a deer in a heartbeat!". They were serious...

I leaned over and said "That head is for shooting at turkeys, you may want to look at something else for deer!". They both looked at me with a "who teh heck are you?" look, then walked up to the counter and bought the GG heads.:zip: Idiots. 

On the positive side, a father and son that had just come down the broadhead isle asked my advice on heads for deer season, and I pointed them in the right direction.

-ZA


----------



## Usingmyrights

ZA206 said:


> On the positive side, a father and son that had just come down the broadhead isle asked my advice on heads for deer season, and I pointed them in the right direction.
> 
> -ZA


Rage?


----------



## OrangeBlood

at the shop one day owned by a friend of mine, guy walks in with an older bow wanting some arrows. Owner asked him what kind he would like and he said he needed some more ACC's. Well he asked him what size and to confirm the spine he asked what his dl & dw was and he recommended a certain size. The customer disagrees and says he currently shooting a diff. size and he doesn't want a heavier arrow because his bow is shooting 420 fps. Owner looks at him and says you mean 320? The guys says no, 420, I shot it through a chrono at another shop. He looked at me and grinned and rung up the arrows and the guy walked out. Needless to say we laughed for a minute about that one.


----------



## ondavirg

I once asked a guy at BPS about the difference between D2 steel and CPM (etc). The guy they put in charge of selling me a knife had never heard of any of that. He tried to convince me the D2 on the sticker was part of the model number.

It amazes me that 15 minutes of research online will get you past 90% of hourly wage employees at any store who have been put in charge of selling you their product. Very dissappointing.


----------



## SL outdoors

I saw a guy at the shop one day go back to the range and draw his bow back with only his thumb on the grip and WAP his thumb sliped off and some part of the bow smoked him in the head as blood instantly started running down all over his brand new team Mathews shooting shirt!Gotta love guys like that,I don't think he made eye contact with any thing but the floor as he almost ran outa the shop!


----------



## Grim Reaper

HAHAHAHA Funniest thread ever!:hail::hail::hail:


----------



## kraven

ZA206 said:


> I was in the local Bass Pro,
> -ZA


I used to live in Huntersville and shopped at BP a lot. It became like running a gauntlet to avoid this kind of thing in the aisles. 

And what a shame too. It's a nice place to stroll around.

A guy strolled up beside me as I was eyeballing one of the recurves they had in the racks over the gondolas of merchandise and said to the woman with him "them recurves is nice but you can't kill nothin' with them cause they shoot too slow."


----------



## bambieslayer

once had a guy tell me he shot a doe at 80 yards with his onedia right through both shoulders and she just dropped in her tracks
funny thing was after I put new string on it he was shooting 2 ft groups at 20 yards obviously way overbowed and highly inaccurate
don't miss guys like that at all but loved helping people who actualy wanted it


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## UofACat

My son, who was 5 at the time, and I were at an archery range. A friend of mine was tuning his bow and many were on the line shooting (except for myself who was helping him...) He had nocked an arrow and as he was working on his bow he had actually drawn the bow back (accidently) about an inch or so by rubbing it against his arm somehow. When the string came off whatever it was caught on the arrow shot forward about 3 feet or so and clanked on the ground...

Nobody thought anyghing about it until my son looked up to him, smiled and said, "Don't worry, I do that too sometimes..."

Everybody on the line started laughing at the whole thing...


it was "cute"...


Maybe not what this was thread was intended for, but it was funny at the time.


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## Rjm08

I was at the local shop one day when a guy came in from the 3D range complaining about shooting over the targets and that his 20 yard pin won't go any higher on his sight. I looked at his sight and sure enough the top pin was slid as high as it would go in the sight housing. Then I checked his rest and arrow set-up and it looked fine. I couldn't understand why he was shooting high until I asked him to take a shot. 
Well, he proceeds to draw his bow, aim it at the ground, and then he quickly swung the bow upwards toward the target and slam off a shot. He did it over and over! 

I tried to help him, but he had target panic so bad that when I tried to get him to draw the bow and just hold the pin on the target without shooting, he couldn't do it!


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## mnbowhunter23

This is by far one of the best threads keep um coming guys!



ondavirg said:


> It amazes me that 15 minutes of research online will get you past 90% of hourly wage employees at any store who have been put in charge of selling you their product. Very dissappointing.


Sad but very true while browsing in most "box" stores, i've had workers in scheels, bps, etc. try to tell me some stupid stuff and give long explanations as to why they're right and it makes you think about how some people actually listen to their wrong advice becase they dont know any better. i learned quick to do my research before you go in just to avoid them. Or a better solution is just go to a pro shop instead, that way if i do need help i dont feel like im asking my dog for advice:wink:.


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## IDABOW

I had a dealer tell me he wouldn't press a press a Monster in is his ez press.
He is a dealer for PSE, and sells X Force bows.


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## timpat92855

I was at a local bow shop getting my new string and cable put on and the shop only had one tech working. Well, he got my bow pressed and a middle aged man and woman came. The man had a Bear Truth 2 in his hands and was looking around. The tech asked if I had time to wait and, I told him I was in no hurry, that he could go help them and he did. I over heard the man say he needed to make his bow fit is wife.

The tech said okay and asked what draw it needed to be. The guy said 30 and that his wife was about a 20in draw. The tech just kinda looked in awe. After, he tried to explain that that was not possible for the bow, the guy got mad and stated that Bear Archery told him that any good bow shop could do it. 

With a straight face the tech said, then guess you better find a good shop. Than came back and started back on my bow. After the guy left, we cracked up.


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## apache pilot

i was in a bass proshop and saw they had one of those new bowtech crossbows that shoots 10000000fps and i asked the tech to show it to me and that i wanted to see it being shot. he started jaw jabbing about all the specs of the crossbow and then he couldnt figure out how to cock the thing. he finally got it cocked and shot it and then he couldnt remember how he had just cocked it. i appreciate the effort from the guy but it was embarrassing. that guys still works the bow counter there. he asked me the other day what i was shooting and i told him i got a new breed genetix and a strother sr71 and he nodded as to pretend he knew what i was talking about.. lol


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## shortstroke 91

Had an idiot at BPS looking for more arrows. Said he only takes head shots at does with his "new" #100 custom Mathews. He said he didn't like tearing up the meat with shoulder shots since he's shooting a 350 grain total weight arrow including the 85 grain heads and it will just do too much damage. After having a lengthy conversation about why only taking head shots was "The dumbest thing I ever heard" he then confessed he hadn't actually hit one yet and that's why he needed more arrows.
It was all I could do not to kick him in the genetic lifeline.


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## 76Scout-Dad

*Yep.*



Pickert said:


> Wow, really??
> Was that at the Olathe BP? If so I go in and BS with some of those guys sometimes. I would quiz them if I new which one had said that.


Yes it was. Younger kid, I'd say most likely not old enough to order a beer.


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## MOhunter13

mem said:


> i had a guy come in the night before the first day of pa archery and picked up his bow. We went to the range and he seemed very unsure of himself ie putting on release, etc. I asked him if he ever shot a bow before and he told me he did. He then went to nock his arrow on his bow while holding the bow up side down.


lol


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## badger16

UofACat said:


> My son, who was 5 at the time, and I were at an archery range. A friend of mine was tuning his bow and many were on the line shooting (except for myself who was helping him...) He had nocked an arrow and as he was working on his bow he had actually drawn the bow back (accidently) about an inch or so by rubbing it against his arm somehow. When the string came off whatever it was caught on the arrow shot forward about 3 feet or so and clanked on the ground...
> 
> Nobody thought anyghing about it until my son looked up to him, smiled and said, "Don't worry, I do that too sometimes..."
> 
> Everybody on the line started laughing at the whole thing...
> 
> 
> it was "cute"...
> 
> 
> Maybe not what this was thread was intended for, but it was funny at the time.


Awesome!

Keep them coming guys!


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## ttank0789

I've got a couple. They weren't stupid things said to a proshop guy but they are funny none the less.

I recently got a used Katera and my proshop was setting it up and I told them to set it at 60#. The guy heard me wrong and set it at 65#. I'm a small statured guy so it took a little effort for me to get it pulled back when he was checking to see how my peep was aligned. One of my buddies said "it looks like somebody needs to start lifting weights." The tech just about pissed himself laughing.

We were at the same place a couple years ago and some girl who looked to be about 14 walked up and loudly said "If you're gonna kill the poor things at least have the courtesy not to hang them on the wall!" My buddy replied with "If you don't like it then leave. Do you hear me going into tofu-mart and *****ing?"


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## ASeriousHunter

calimonster said:


> i was in a local shop getting some supplies and this guy in his mid 30's never shot a bow in his life, wanted to buy a bow for hunting season. So he picked up a mathews reezen took it back to the range, the shop owner was standing there and he drew it back and let go of the RISER!!!!!!!!! it was ugly....poor reezen hahaha


I laughed so hard I think I peed a little


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## robert kirchner

Had a fellow who bought a bow at a pawn shop and said he couldn't get it to shoot with all of his arrows on the target.
Looked at the bow and trying not to laugh (new to the sport)and saw a whisker biscut mounted with a rig he made up on the front of the riser and a drop away Mounted properly to the rear.


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## Horn_chaser

I had a customer one day who had never shot archery at all looking to buy a crossbow. His first question was "Can I shoot a deer at a 100 yds with this thing?". 
Another customer came in one day and had me put a new string on his bow. Well when I was getting out of my truck from my lunch break I heard this loud pop about 3 or 4 times. I look around and its that guy dry firing his bow in the parking lot.


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## apache pilot

or the kid who comes in with the old bow his dad gave him. you know like this one and asks if this is a good bow.


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## apache pilot

what do you say to that? then he picks up a new hoyt or mathews and asks whats the difference in these from his bow. lol. i hated that situation


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## brandon1008

Whaack said:


> I was at our local Gander Mountain yesterday in the archery department and I see a young mom with a little daughter making her way around the aisles. She is looking frustrated when a store employee finally asks her if he can help.
> 
> She says yes, "I need a cardboard deer for my husbands birthday gift." The employee looks pretty puzzled for a few moments but I have a hunch she is looking for one of those deer decoys. He probes a few moments longer when I offer that maybe she is looking for a decoy. He takes her over to the decoys and bam!
> 
> I was so happy I could be of assistance!


WOW dude!, i think you are totally wrong! I have a cardboard deer... it is a target for practice, not a decoy. 1 side has the vitals, the other is blank. I also buy 1 or 2 to put by the xmas tree for my boy when he opens his 'huntin' gifts. hes 6.


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## hoyt bowhunting

Well i walked into a archery shot. Asked for T.M. hunter everyone laughed at me. Then I walked around and had to ask why they dont sell bowtech's there. But I did find a mathews that didnt sound right till i was told it needed to have a arrow in it. But they helped me and i told them my draw lenght was 30" and i wanted a .400 spine weight. 
When i left i could see everyone laughing at me. All i wanted was to get a bow.


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## brandon murphy

rednecbowhunter said:


> guess he hasnt heard of the z7


amen brother!!!!!


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## ahunter55

Well, when the kid comes in with that Allen you just tell him it's like X-Box, you can't get games for it anymore. He will understand that & then buy the Bow & put in your shop so the Newbies can see what started this Compound Bowhunting.
Then you can sell him what you say is best for him...


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## grfox

I was at the local shop a couple of months ago and this guy comes in with this old leather bow case. He says "I have my bow here that I got at a little antique shop up in Maine. Ive been shooting at a local archery club, and they recommended I come here for some work on the bow. I want some new strings"- the guy doesnt hunt, just a hobby.

The shop owner and tech is extremely knowledgeable and has been in the business for 35 years. He pulls out the bow and says "wow, thats an oldy" The bow was at least 40 years old, it was a compound that looked at a fast glance like a recurve, (not sure of a brand). Any way the bow had cables instead of strings which is fine, except one of the cables must have broken years ago, and was now replaced with a "hardware store baught" section of aircraft cable, and was TIED IN A KNOT at the end rather than looped with a ferrel.

The owner proceeded to tell him that it was very unsafe to shoot and recommended him a very inexpensive complete package compound, (roughly 250 dollars) The guys looks at the bows and starts frowning and says something like " oh i dont know, maybe I will put it on my christmas list" Thats when I noticed he was wearing $250 loafers, short khaki shorts and an 80 dollar polo shirt. I walked outside and sure enough he was driving an 80,000 dollar Mercedes. 

He wound up spending over 150 dollars on arrows, a new sight, a new string and a recurve case that didnt even fit his bow.....


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## mike 66

*whow..*

this dude from st louis mo.his first 3 arrows went over the tree tops some 20 yards. he shakes his head . and says bass pro shop said it was all ready to shoot. another 3 arrows over top of trees whow...... the shop forgot to put on a rest and a he had a moveable sight. like hva. he was putting arrows in sight ring and letting them FLY..... i told him to take it back and that he needed a rest. he asked whats that? i lmao till i had tears....imagiane that.....


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## fletched

hoyt bowhunting said:


> Well i walked into a archery shot. Asked for T.M. hunter everyone laughed at me. Then I walked around and had to ask why they dont sell bowtech's there. But I did find a mathews that didnt sound right till i was told it needed to have a arrow in it. But they helped me and i told them my draw lenght was 30" and i wanted a .400 spine weight.
> When i left i could see everyone laughing at me. All i wanted was to get a bow.


If you ain't figured it out in over 7000 post, you might want to take up a new hobby.:icon_joker:


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## bowtechnlopes

popestev said:


> Not at a shop but I teach Bow hunters ed class, I see a bunch of people come through with box store bows, specifically Sportsman's where they don't set the DL the same on some of the dual cam bows like the Diamonds. You really have to wonder about the person who set it up. "Well here you go we got it shooting bullet holes through paper you should be good to go."


Diamonds are single cam:zip:


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## Stash

Having worked in the archery department at a BP for 5 years, I have enough stories to double this thread...

The guy who claimed he had shot the *supersonic* secret Israeli military crossbow.

The guy who grabbed a bow off the rack and wanted just 2 arrows and 2 broadheads because he had 2 deer tags.

The guy who brought in a crossbow to be sighted, and when I shot an arrow, he said "the whole thing goes?" Long story short, he wasn't aware the arrow went downrange - he though it was just something that fired the point.

The guy who didn't take shots at deer under 75 yards because it wasn't sporting enough.

The guy who wanted to look at a knife..."careful, it's sharp" and he proceeds to test it against the back of his hand. 20 stitches.

The guys (several different times) who drew back compounds despite the great big white zip ties on them.

The guys (several different times) who remove the zip ties, draw back the bows and dry-fire them and when they are asked why they think the zip ties are there in the first place, don't seem to understand the question.

The guy who wanted a bow new out of the box to test-fire, so we got it for him, and after test firing it, he wanted ANOTHER one in the box because he wanted it for a gift.

A particular favorite of mine - the guy who shoplifted some Montec broadheads - took them out of the package and stuffed them in his pocket. You can guess how that turned out.

The guy who came in with a couple of broken arrows and wanted us to replace the shafts for him. (This one could have been a joke).

The guy who came back with a dozen broken arrows to complain about the poor quality. "What are you using for a target?" "Plywood".

The guy who wanted his arrows cut to 24". "You sure? You look more like a 29-30 draw length." "No, I want them 24" "OK, 24 it is". Next day, brings them back. Too short. "Why did you want them 24?" "The hunting regulations state an arrow must be 24" long. I didn't realize that was a _minimum_ length."

That's just off the top of my head.

Plus pretty much all of the others you've already read here.

Next time you feel like complaining about poor techical knowledge on the part of a store employee, just remember the customers are usually 100 time worse.


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## rthawker

One of the guys that shoots league with me has a wife that work for hoyt customer service. She has quite a few good stories. My favorite is a call she had from a new bow owner that asked her how long he needed to soak his bow for. Confused, she asked him to explain. He stated that after reading the owners manual he proceeded to fill his bathtub and soak his bow because it said to never dry fire the bow but it didn't say for how long.

Another call she had was someone asking how to get new strings on their bow. After *cutting*:mg: the old ones off he was having a difficult time getting the new ones to fit. She asked if he was using a bow press and his response was "what's that?"


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## bowtechnlopes

i got that about two years ago and to this day dont know why or what happen but i took a 6month break and was fine after that


----------



## Ignition kid

I have been in an archery shop and some guy will walk in there like he knows what he's talking about and he'll say, that's a Reezen or something like that and it really is a Monster, even when the stinkin' name is written all over the bow, I wish people wouldn't do that, they need to know what they're talking about before they go and talk smack.

I was in Bass Pro's archery shop (not much of one) and I was looking at some axis FMJ's to see how much they were and the guy that worked there asked us what bows we shot and my dad and I said Mathews and the guy gave that stupid look like that we were stupid or that he was tired of hearing that. then he says well I shoot a Parker and blah blah blah about him being on their staff and that he gets bows from them that haven't come out and he said Mathews bows are so outdated, Parker is way ahead of them all and blah blah blah about them and he was badmouthing one of the largets and most successful bow manufacturers in the world. My dad and I walk away and I said to my dad, he full of crap!, Mathews bows being outdated and Parker being so much ahead, Parker seems to copy just about every bow company out there and why don't you hear about them alot, and mathews has more innovations than Parker has bows. I know Parker isa good bow but they're not a Mathews type quality or anything like that, why can't parker make a faster, more vibration free bow while still having a smooth draw at 330+ fps. 
Also the guy said he was going to get some FMJ Dangerous game for deer and hog so he could shoot them in the but and out the mouth, and my dad said, I do that with just the regular axis and with expandables.
The guy was a smart uh... you know what, he though he was the best of the best and what not. Some people rub off on me wrong


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## Ohio Mossy Oak

PAstringking said:


> that basically describes about 50 AT members :zip:


50?....Im sure its about 10 times that number




robert kirchner said:


> Had a fellow who bought a bow at a pawn shop and said he couldn't get it to shoot with all of his arrows on the target.
> Looked at the bow and trying not to laugh (new to the sport)and saw a whisker biscut mounted with a rig he made up on the front of the riser and a drop away Mounted properly to the rear.


Well i found my new set up for an arrow..Least that way i can rave on the WB an drop away threads:wink:


Stash said:


> Having worked in the archery department at a BP for 5 years, I have enough stories to double this thread...
> 
> The guy who claimed he had shot the *supersonic* secret Israeli military crossbow.
> i owe 2 ..one blacked out.,.an one camo..
> 
> The guy who wanted a bow new out of the box to test-fire, so we got it for him, and after test firing it, he wanted ANOTHER one in the box because he wanted it for a gift.why didnt i think of that?
> 
> 
> .


----------



## ks_kiwi

Stash said:


> ...
> 
> The guy who brought in a crossbow to be sighted, and when I shot an arrow, he said _*"the whole thing goes?"*_ Long story short, he wasn't aware the arrow went downrange - he though it was just something that fired the point.
> 
> The guy who wanted to look at a knife..."careful, it's sharp" and he proceeds to test it against the back of his hand. 20 stitches.
> 
> A particular favorite of mine - the guy who shoplifted some Montec broadheads - took them out of the package and stuffed them in his pocket. You can guess how that turned out.
> 
> ...


Ok - I might have peed a little reading the first one :wink:
Those others were great too.

Awesome thread...


----------



## Finger_Flinger

After reading this thread, it makes me wonder how most can be so anti crossbow, but, pro compound. Probably 4 out of a few hundred posts are about crossbows, the rest compounds/recurves. 

I don't mean to thread-jack, but, as long as your knowledgeable/proficient with your equipment, I don't know why it matters what you use during archery season.

TTT!


----------



## Blacktail Hunter

Stash said:


> Having worked in the archery department at a BP for 5 years, I have enough stories to double this thread...
> 
> The guy who claimed he had shot the *supersonic* secret Israeli military crossbow.
> 
> The guy who grabbed a bow off the rack and wanted just 2 arrows and 2 broadheads because he had 2 deer tags.
> 
> The guy who brought in a crossbow to be sighted, and when I shot an arrow, he said "the whole thing goes?" Long story short, he wasn't aware the arrow went downrange - he though it was just something that fired the point.
> 
> The guy who didn't take shots at deer under 75 yards because it wasn't sporting enough.
> 
> The guy who wanted to look at a knife..."careful, it's sharp" and he proceeds to test it against the back of his hand. 20 stitches.
> 
> The guys (several different times) who drew back compounds despite the great big white zip ties on them.
> 
> The guys (several different times) who remove the zip ties, draw back the bows and dry-fire them and when they are asked why they think the zip ties are there in the first place, don't seem to understand the question.
> 
> The guy who wanted a bow new out of the box to test-fire, so we got it for him, and after test firing it, he wanted ANOTHER one in the box because he wanted it for a gift.
> 
> A particular favorite of mine - the guy who shoplifted some Montec broadheads - took them out of the package and stuffed them in his pocket. You can guess how that turned out.
> 
> *The guy who came in with a couple of broken arrows and wanted us to replace the shafts for him. (This one could have been a joke).
> 
> The guy who came back with a dozen broken arrows to complain about the poor quality. "What are you using for a target?" "Plywood".
> 
> The guy who wanted his arrows cut to 24". "You sure? You look more like a 29-30 draw length." "No, I want them 24" "OK, 24 it is". Next day, brings them back. Too short. "Why did you want them 24?" "The hunting regulations state an arrow must be 24" long. I didn't realize that was a minimum length."*
> 
> That's just off the top of my head.
> 
> Plus pretty much all of the others you've already read here.
> 
> Next time you feel like complaining about poor techical knowledge on the part of a store employee, just remember the customers are usually 100 time worse.


LMAO!!! plywood!


----------



## OneScrewLoose

Guy that ran the archery range at the gun club we used to belong to had a buddy that he had talked into taking up bowhunting. He had got him set up with a nice new Hoyt recurve and some aluminum arrows, and had him shooting pretty good out to 45 with it! Well, first day of archery in Florida comes, and they take off to the northern part of the state. Saw him about 3 days later, no recurve, and this massive rectangular mark on his forehead. Asked him what happened.... The guy that ran the archery range said "Well, we were hunting about 100 yards apart, and about noon I heard this loud SMACK. Went to see what had happened and he was just sitting in the tree. I found the bow about 10 yards away." He had gotten so excited that he let the riser go, and the limb popped him in the forehead!!!!!

OHHHH, and the dude that took a 60# Browning Bantam and some 2316s and 30# stren and tried to pull a tooth!!!!!!!!!! Arrow made it about 15ft, and came back backwards and bounced off his stomach. While he was rolling on the ground in pain, I gave the stren a good yank:wink: His wife was soooo mad, I got the the line before she did!!!!


----------



## LCA

bowtechnlopes said:


> Diamonds are single cam:zip:


I guess you haven't seen a razor's edge or nuclear ice :darkbeer:


----------



## Just_Some_Guy

Stash said:


> Having worked in the archery department at a BP for 5 years, I have enough stories to double this thread...


I used to work the fishing counter. We had the requisite fishing stories, but the ones that got me were the guys who'd cuss you for not having something in the stoor "because it's in the catalogue" or for not knowing what lure they were talking about when all they can describe is "it has a little flashing blade thingy". 

Or they guys who insist on mismatching their equipment.


----------



## Eric Everson

*A guy in the*

hunting section asked if he can shoot 50 caliber pyrodex pellets out of his 45 caliber muzzleloader. God forbid I would standing to close to him when he shoots.


----------



## Eric Everson

*A guy in the*

hunting section asked if he can shoot 50 caliber pyrodex pellets out of his 45 caliber muzzleloader. God forbid I would be standing to close to him when he shoots.


----------



## neo71665

Eric Everson said:


> hunting section asked if he can shoot 50 caliber pyrodex pellets out of his 45 caliber muzzleloader. God forbid I would be standing to close to him when he shoots.




He can but by the time he gets those 50 caliber pellets down that 45 caliber bore they aint gonna be pellets anymore.


----------



## talon1961

I didn't hear this at a bow shop, but just a few minutes ago here in my house. A friend of my wife and mine stopped by to go walking with my wife. She is just recently divorced and her ex husband and I have hunted and played ball together. While standing in the driveway talking to her, she commented about my Ross "Own More Bone" Sticker on my truck back glass. I tried to explain what it was talking about, the horns, antlers, you know on deer and elk." Well", she responded, "You hunters are all alike, all you ever do is hunt, drink, and think about sex." I responded back, "you know I don't drink". She just gave me a dirty look and got in her car. My wife almost died laughing, before I realized what I just said. Now I can't stop laughing. They left and went walking. My wife called back a few minutes ago and said that "our friend" just realized what I meant and now she is embarassed.


----------



## Eric Everson

*That is*



talon1961 said:


> I didn't hear this at a bow shop, but just a few minutes ago here in my house. A friend of my wife and mine stopped by to go walking with my wife. She is just recently divorced and her ex husband and I have hunted and played ball together. While standing in the driveway talking to her, she commented about my Ross "Own More Bone" Sticker on my truck back glass. I tried to explain what it was talking about, the horns, antlers, you know on deer and elk." Well", she responded, "You hunters are all alike, all you ever do is hunt, drink, and think about sex." I responded back, "you know I don't drink". She just gave me a dirty look and got in her car. My wife almost died laughing, before I realized what I just said. Now I can't stop laughing. They left and went walking. My wife called back a few minutes ago and said that "our friend" just realized what I meant and now she is embarassed.


funny.:set1_applaud::laugh::roll:


----------



## Jordanlo

this thread is by far the best one i have seen yet


----------



## z28melissa

Here's one that's opposite....
Myself and a friend (who runs a pro shop) test-shot some bows at a Bass Pro for kicks. It was a trip let me tell you... I had to leave at the point when the "archery specialist" tried convincing me that the peep is an anchor point for my nose. Nevermind the drawlength too long by 8" either.... "I wouldn't change a thing" he says, after I shoot the deer target in the ear.


----------



## Seabee99

Ohio Mossy Oak said:


> what spline arrows do i need is one of my favorites..Or the people who think a .400 spine..400 means how heavy the arrow is..etc


I got into an argument with a guy at work for the same thing. He knew that I had been into archery for around 10 years, and he just started a few months ago. Well, we both bought arrows at the same place at the same time, Radial x weave 200's. Well we both watched as our arrows were made, mine 27 1/2'', his 26''. Well a few days later at work me and another guy were talking about speed, arrow weight and so on, well this guy says his arrows weigh 200 grains. I told him they didn't and explained the aspect of different length arrows weigh different amounts and so on. He looked right at me and said with a most serious tone of voice, "well it says right on the side of them 200 grain". I replied "you are an idiot with no attention to detail". The next day I brought in one of my "200 grain arrows" and my relaoding scale and showed him that it weighed 353 grains,


----------



## Lynch Mob

this is one of those deals that can't be blame on no one but myself and is one of these deals that still haunts me ever since. One of our reptuable sport stores where i was the main ibo shooter for them and the workers were all tight friiends and were well aware of our abilities had the new man bow to see if i could shoot the heavy heman monster.

They were know in carrying the heavy weights from XI, York, Pse and the new demon from oneida a 90 pounder, i was challenged out to be the only one who could shoot this speed demom.

We had to take it to the outside targets with the bow and what to be some logs to shoot out of this beast, it brought with it a tiny crowd to watch as instrucions for my 4 yesr old son was to stay inside. So i proceeded to pull out my superman cape and was drilling the bullseye with fingers and no sight, just the sound of the force defiinitley made you feel special just by the force of the lower limb cominhg down like it was using jet fuel smoking past our legs.

My last shot and I'm telling you last shot i ever took with oneida eagle bow again, my son who was in side had slipped to right to his daddy cause Daddy is eveything did not notice him standing right next to my right leg and as the shot went off hitting the bullseye I turned to look at the men with faces pale white and the shop pro who had me doing this was dry heaving to the side.
When the story of this limb zipping pass my beautiful sons head missing as i m sure by some angels hair, shook me so bad that i nerver shot another oneida, and damn sure my son presence is always known.

The moral here was we got so caught up in maccho bs that safety wasnt the main priority and that ignorance could have killed my only son at my hands, and by the grace of the good lord bleesed us the chance to share many hunts to this day. He spoke last summer at a church wild game dinner speaaking what a influence and hero his dad has been to him throught his whole life.
I choked on this and thought deeply and came to the conclusion what an awesome God we serve.

I know the story was long, but it was to let you know it isn't always the yoyos making these insane mistakes , yea sometimes its us pros that get the award.
Thanks for listening.

George


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## gdcpony

I like the guys who claim they "used" to shoot a 100# longbow. So of course they end up leaving with a 50# compound.


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## HOKIEHUNTER07

The best I ever saw was a rather countrified gentlemen at Dick's.

This was the first year crossbows were made legal for the general hunting public and he was looking for a scope. He walks up to the counter and asks for a 10X scope with a B&C multi-range reticle.

When the associate asked when he needed a scope that powerful on a cross bow he replied, "I hunt power lines and could be taking a 200+ yard shot."

The associate tried to explain, but this guy was pretty rough. He sold the fella the scope and then he and I just shook our heads...

Hopefully that guy got frustrated and gave up crossbow season...


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## Q2DEATH

I didn't read all the posts so this might already be in here. A friend of mine owned a shop and had LOTS of people ask him to sight their bow in for them because they were too busy.


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## Boudreaux

A few I have heard,

They read the IBO on the bow and think that is what there shooting, only to get cussing mad when I shoot it through the chrony. 

Install a new sight on and help them sight in the 20 yard pin a little high in the 10 yard range and they say "The other (2-6) pins are allready sighted in right?"

While paper tuning a bow a random customer walked up as I was at full draw and said "Is that paper really gonna stop that arrow?"

All the people who say they have shot or shoot all the time, and can't fidgure out how to put the saftey release on and say " I allways have trouble fidguring out which way this goes on." and feel insulted when they fidgure out the release is can't go off. 

many of people have said " I wouldn't pass on a shot at a big buck at 70 yards." shooting a 1992 bow with 3 pins. 

Thanks
Boswell


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## Aggieland

I was at a "new to me" bow shop on Tuesday. The owner of the shop who
later proved to be a very archery educated man was busy at the moment so I was stuck dealing with his "assistant" I showed him my set up and wanted the owner to tune the bow on his Hooter Shooter etc etc.. Then we got on the topic of FOC . Now I'm trying something new this year using some of Dr. Asbys research I have my arrows at 20% FOC. (Which was hard to acheive), well the guy starts telling me all about FOC and how even if you get down to 40 or 50% Foc it will work fine. I could not wait to talk to the owner..


----------



## joeprec

My brother worked with an old bowhunter that once thought that if you shot your bow turned in a horizontal position, the arrow would curve around trees. I guess he never tested the theory and probably failed science class to boot.

I always looked down on guys who call a release a "quick release"....don't know why.

Or how bout the guy who gets assigned to the same target on a shotgun start 3d and spends the wait time explaining how good he is shooting, and then proceeds to blank the first two targets and drops a couple hundred points throughout with several misses. I guess "good shooting" is relative to many factors.

At alot of tournaments I have been to lately, there have been lots of people wearing there colours Hoyt Mathews Bowtech etc shooting gear head to toe and for some reason I expect top notch shooting from those types but when the awards are handed out its a bunch of fat ******* lookin dudes wearing regular clothes....go figure.


----------



## LBmaN

I was up at gander mountain and i know the archery tech that works there. Well long story short, a guy was in the process of buying a crossbow when he turns and asks the employee, "SO I can shoot a deer at a hundred yards with this right?" My friend the employee looks at me like ***?

Still laugh this day about it. Its sad though.


----------



## BrownDog2

Morning bump.


----------



## RJPOUTDOORS

We had a man come into the county and open a sporting goods store a year ago. I stoped in and there was not much there and I ask if he would be putting in more archery gear ? He replied yes and then started asking me what I thought he should get. I went back a week later and again he started asking me more questions about archery, as we talked I learned he had never hunted. He put in a archery shop and went to working on bows which turned out bad, He dry fired a Mathews in front of the guy and split the limbs. Needles to say a year later no more store.


----------



## PSUBowhunter

I had just bought a brand new Matthews Switchback bow from an archery shop. I didn’t plan on having the guy do any work on my bow because I already thought he was an idiot, but he was the only guy around that sold Matthews at the time. Anyways, after I paid for the bow, the first thing he told me was to order a set of brightly colored strings and cables for it. I asked why, and he responded back “So you don’t lose it while hunting or at a 3D, I have lost several that I sat down in the leaves and never found them.” I really didn’t know how to respond, so without saying a word I just walked out and haven’t been back since..


----------



## apache pilot

talon1961 said:


> I didn't hear this at a bow shop, but just a few minutes ago here in my house. A friend of my wife and mine stopped by to go walking with my wife. She is just recently divorced and her ex husband and I have hunted and played ball together. While standing in the driveway talking to her, she commented about my Ross "Own More Bone" Sticker on my truck back glass. I tried to explain what it was talking about, the horns, antlers, you know on deer and elk." Well", she responded, "You hunters are all alike, all you ever do is hunt, drink, and think about sex." I responded back, "you know I don't drink". She just gave me a dirty look and got in her car. My wife almost died laughing, before I realized what I just said. Now I can't stop laughing. They left and went walking. My wife called back a few minutes ago and said that "our friend" just realized what I meant and now she is embarassed.


classic!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


----------



## 74treed

PAstringking said:


> yep...thats PA for ya
> 
> 
> now they dont have to worry about it...he is out there with an X-bow :wink::zip:


An they wondered why some us did not want full inclusin of x-bows in archery, its not the weapon, its the individual behind it.


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## apache pilot

one of my good friends i bowhunt with is a complete moron. i love him to death but some of the things that come out of his mouth make me want to slap some sense into him

1. opening day of turkey season and we had a nice gobbler standing in the decoys at 15 yards and he shoots him. the bird takes off like greased lightning and we looked forever without finding him. i asked him what broadhead he was shooting and he said he was using a field tip. oh and it was on video. i asked him what his logic was shooting an animal with a field tip was and he said a buddy of his hunts them with fieldtips. hmmmm

2. we were talking about shooting deer that come closer than 10 yards from your tree and how to aim when the deer is broadside that close. he said he turns the bow horizontal with the deer so no matter what he said it would hit them. i asked him if he knew what gravity was and said that might possibly be the dumbest thing ive ever heard


----------



## Just_Some_Guy

PSUBowhunter said:


> I had just bought a brand new Matthews Switchback bow from an archery shop. I didn’t plan on having the guy do any work on my bow because I already thought he was an idiot, but he was the only guy around that sold Matthews at the time. Anyways, after I paid for the bow, the first thing he told me was to order a set of brightly colored strings and cables for it. I asked why, and he responded back “So you don’t lose it while hunting or at a 3D, I have lost several that I sat down in the leaves and never found them.” I really didn’t know how to respond, so without saying a word I just walked out and haven’t been back since..


I'd find out where he hunts and go find some new to me bows. :darkbeer:


----------



## DocB

My mother in law lives out in the country. I always take my bow with me and do some shooting. This one time I brought my bow but some how forgot my arrows. There was a little archery shop in town so I went and got a 1/2 dozen. The kid working had a really tough time putting them together. After an hour I had them and went back to shoot at my new, smaller, target. So I set up in the normal spot against the barn and shoot them all. Every single one of the fields pushed into the aluminum. What the heck, that kid must of done something wrong. I take them back and he apologizes and makes me 6 more. This time I shoot one and go look to see what happened. Same thing. Only I realize this time that I had been shooting through the the target a few inches and busting them up! Doh. I went back the next day and paid for the other 6. Felt so dumb doing it but it sure made the kid feel better.


----------



## bigwood56

Sold a man an 80# bow a few years back he was back in the shop a few weeks later and said "this is the best bow i have ever had this bow has OVERKILL in it shot 2 deer and they never made it out of sight"Don't know what overkill is but it sure was funny.


----------



## LiteSpeed1

Stash said:


> Having worked in the archery department at a BP for 5 years, I have enough stories to double this thread...
> 
> The guy who claimed he had shot the *supersonic* secret Israeli military crossbow.
> 
> The guy who grabbed a bow off the rack and wanted just 2 arrows and 2 broadheads because he had 2 deer tags.
> 
> The guy who brought in a crossbow to be sighted, and when I shot an arrow, he said "the whole thing goes?" Long story short, he wasn't aware the arrow went downrange - he though it was just something that fired the point.
> 
> The guy who didn't take shots at deer under 75 yards because it wasn't sporting enough.
> 
> The guy who wanted to look at a knife..."careful, it's sharp" and he proceeds to test it against the back of his hand. 20 stitches.
> 
> The guys (several different times) who drew back compounds despite the great big white zip ties on them.
> 
> The guys (several different times) who remove the zip ties, draw back the bows and dry-fire them and when they are asked why they think the zip ties are there in the first place, don't seem to understand the question.
> 
> The guy who wanted a bow new out of the box to test-fire, so we got it for him, and after test firing it, he wanted ANOTHER one in the box because he wanted it for a gift.
> 
> A particular favorite of mine - the guy who shoplifted some Montec broadheads - took them out of the package and stuffed them in his pocket. You can guess how that turned out.
> 
> The guy who came in with a couple of broken arrows and wanted us to replace the shafts for him. (This one could have been a joke).
> 
> *The guy who came back with a dozen broken arrows to complain about the poor quality. "What are you using for a target?" "Plywood".*
> The guy who wanted his arrows cut to 24". "You sure? You look more like a 29-30 draw length." "No, I want them 24" "OK, 24 it is". Next day, brings them back. Too short. "Why did you want them 24?" "The hunting regulations state an arrow must be 24" long. I didn't realize that was a _minimum_ length."
> 
> That's just off the top of my head.
> 
> Plus pretty much all of the others you've already read here.
> 
> Next time you feel like complaining about poor techical knowledge on the part of a store employee, just remember the customers are usually 100 time worse.


You should have told him to make sure it's not pressure-treated plywood and no more than 1/4" thick. LOL


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## apache pilot

pressure treated! thats funny:darkbeer:


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## Gary in Ohio

Boudreaux said:


> They read the IBO on the bow and think that is what there shooting, only to get cussing mad when I shoot it through the chrony.


You can't blame them too much for that. I got a new bow last year for the first time in about 8 years. I knew I'd be shooting less than the IBO speed. But I never guessed how much. IBO is a good benchmark to compare bows. But unless you are tall, have strong shoulders and shoot light arrows, it's not a useful measure of speed.


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## popestev

Usingmyrights said:


> Diamonds are single cam bows.


Last Razor edge I was was a dual cam bow


----------



## popestev

mnbowhunter23 said:


> This is by far one of the best threads keep um coming guys!
> 
> 
> 
> Sad but very true while browsing in most "box" stores, i've had workers in scheels, bps, etc. try to tell me some stupid stuff and give long explanations as to why they're right and it makes you think about how some people actually listen to their wrong advice becase they dont know any better. i learned quick to do my research before you go in just to avoid them. Or a better solution is just go to a pro shop instead, th*at way if i do need help i dont feel like im asking my dog for advice*:wink:.



My dog is the first one I would ask for advise. One look into those big eyes and you can tell how much she loves me and would never give me bad advise on purpose.


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## k4zn4v3

This is by far the funniest thread on AT.


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## apache pilot

yeah and a thread that actually hasnt gotten out of


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## hoyt bowhunting

fletched said:


> If you ain't figured it out in over 7000 post, you might want to take up a new hobby.:icon_joker:


Dude if you took that as me being serious you need to not believe everything you read here. That is the first page all in one post.


----------



## popestev

hoyt bowhunting said:


> Dude if you took that as me being serious you need to not believe everything you read here. That is the first page all in one post.


I can't say for sure but I think he was being sarcastic and not meaning any harm. At least I read it that way.


----------



## fletched

I always get a kick out of the guys who come in to the shop asking for splitfires. 
How about the guy how brings his bow in wanting it tuned but has 6 different arrow sizes with 6 different broadheads. You try to explain the concept of 6 arrows and broadheads that are all the same and he looks at you as if you are stupid. 

There are some guys who come in to the shop wanting to buy a bow but really don't know much about them. But instead of saying that they are new and don't know much, some want to pretend like they are experienced. I guess they don't want to appear dumb. These guys are easy to spot so I usually start talking and answer all the questions they don't want to ask. When they leave the store with a new bow and all the basic understanding on how to use it, they feel like they actually made the choice and their pride is intact.

I was helping out at a local shop when a guy comes in carrying a new bow he just bought at another shop. It was a switchback. It was all decked out and looked good. The shop I was at sold hoyt and he came in to rub it in our faces. The switchback is a very nice bow and makes a great hunting bow. If he was happy with it, I didn't care what brand it was. I told him that it is a nice bow and hoped he killed a deer with it. He just kept hanging around talking about how much better and faster it was than the hoyts. I just kept ignoring him hoping he would stop the childish games but my silence just made him get louder. After a while, I looked at him and said that his bow isn't really that fast. He said the shop be bought it from said it was shooting 318 which is the ibo speed rating. His draw length was 29" and he was shooting some aluminum arrows. I told him to pic any hoyt in the shop that he liked and told him that I would buy it for him if his bow was shooting 318. I told him it won't break 270. He kept insisting it was shooting 318 so I broke out the chrono and he fired an arrow at 268. Considering his arrow weight and draw length, it wasn't bad but he just stood there with tears in his eyes. I tried to explain that the 318 was an ibo speed rating and why his arrows where only shooting 268 but that didn't make any difference. He sold the bow the next day and I don't know what he bought. I don't downplay other brands. It isn't good business. I got tired off his smack and proved him wrong. I tried to explain that he had one of the best hunting bows money can buy but his bubble was done busted. 

It's funny how some people buy the "image" of the product instead of the product itself. They buy the hype and could care less bout the product.


----------



## popestev

fletched said:


> I always get a kick out of the guys who come in to the shop asking for splitfires.
> How about the guy how brings his bow in wanting it tuned but has 6 different arrow sizes with 6 different broadheads. You try to explain the concept of 6 arrows and broadheads that are all the same and he looks at you as if you are stupid.
> 
> There are some guys who come in to the shop wanting to buy a bow but really don't know much about them. But instead of saying that they are new and don't know much, some want to pretend like they are experienced. I guess they don't want to appear dumb. These guys are easy to spot so I usually start talking and answer all the questions they don't want to ask. When they leave the store with a new bow and all the basic understanding on how to use it, they feel like they actually made the choice and their pride is intact.
> 
> I was helping out at a local shop when a guy comes in carrying a new bow he just bought at another shop. It was a switchback. It was all decked out and looked good. The shop I was at sold hoyt and he came in to rub it in our faces. The switchback is a very nice bow and makes a great hunting bow. If he was happy with it, I didn't care what brand it was. I told him that it is a nice bow and hoped he killed a deer with it. He just kept hanging around talking about how much better and faster it was than the hoyts. I just kept ignoring him hoping he would stop the childish games but my silence just made him get louder. After a while, I looked at him and said that his bow isn't really that fast. He said the shop be bought it from said it was shooting 318 which is the ibo speed rating. His draw length was 29" and he was shooting some aluminum arrows. I told him to pic any hoyt in the shop that he liked and told him that I would buy it for him if his bow was shooting 318. I told him it won't break 270. He kept insisting it was shooting 318 so I broke out the chrono and he fired an arrow at 268. Considering his arrow weight and draw length, it wasn't bad but he just stood there with tears in his eyes. I tried to explain that the 318 was an ibo speed rating and why his arrows where only shooting 268 but that didn't make any difference. He sold the bow the next day and I don't know what he bought. I don't downplay other brands. It isn't good business. I got tired off his smack and proved him wrong. I tried to explain that he had one of the best hunting bows money can buy but his bubble was done busted.
> 
> It's funny how some people buy the "image" of the product instead of the product itself. They buy the hype and could care less bout the product.


That my friend is why it took me so long to buy a Mathews. All they Hype and attitude that goes with them.

But I see a lot of the same stuff with the archery classes I teach. I tell people every year it does not matter what bow you buy so long as you get it from a proshop


----------



## apache pilot

for all you guys working in the bowshop that get asked to sight in a bow for the lazy guy that just wants to buy it and go straight to the woods, sight it in a 90 yards and when he comes back in raging mad that he missed a deer at 20 tell him that you did sight it in. just not at 20. lol


----------



## ahawk19

*ttt*

This thread is amazing. Keepem coming.


----------



## rockdeer

rednecbowhunter said:


> Guess he hasnt heard of the Z7


Is that a chainsaw?:wink:


----------



## whitewolf1

rockdeer said:


> Is that a chainsaw?:wink:


Naw, it's a Mazda.


----------



## P&y only

I was at the Iowa City Scheels and listened to the sales guy tell Mom Dad and junior that if they had any questions to ask him because when he wasn't working there he was out shooting. Archery was his life. I had been looking at some used omens on here and wanted to shoot one before i bought one. Scheels is a pse dealer so i figured I'd be good to go. I asked to shoot an omen and he said, and I quote " We don't have one. In fact, I don't think PSE has even released them yet." And I was looking at used one's on AT! Archery is my life he said! I think his name was Fred Bear or something...


----------



## lucky buck

I remember another time when a guy that we all thought had questionable levels of inteligence was trying to shoot a Wed. night indoor 3d course and had 5 arrows and they were 3 different sizes. Another time the same fellow was complaining right after opening day that he had called up Code Blue and complained that he hadn't seen any deer when he put out the tarsel gland and doe in heat and didn't see anything. Said he had them on the phone until they told him to send it in and they would replace his money.


----------



## HuntWhenever

Wife went to Bass Pro to get some new boots this past winter. Not many indoor placed to shoot around here, so I brought my bow along to shoot while she "shoe shopped". I was shooting when a salesman (looked like he was 18) came in with another young fella. Guy was looking at buying his first bow. Saleman gave the guy three arrows, and the guy shoots about a 1-foot group at 20 yard...which is not bad for someone who doesn't own a bow. Then the salesman says "Good. Another hour of practice and you'll be ready to go deer hunting". Luckily the saleman stepped out of the range, and the young guy asked me if there was anything he needed to know about buying a bow and deer hunting. Lets just say we had a long productive conversation. Luckily the guy had hunted before during gun season, so he knew what buck fever was and target panic, stuff like that. He knew he couldn't just buy a weapon, practice a couple hours, and hunt with it.


----------



## LiteSpeed1

P&y only said:


> I was at the Iowa City Scheels and listened to the sales guy tell Mom Dad and junior that if they had any questions to ask him because when he wasn't working there he was out shooting. Archery was his life. I had been looking at some used omens on here and wanted to shoot one before i bought one. Scheels is a pse dealer so i figured I'd be good to go. I asked to shoot an omen and he said, and I quote " We don't have one. In fact, I don't think PSE has even released them yet." And I was looking at used one's on AT! Archery is my life he said! I think his name was Fred Bear or something...


That guy must now work at the Scheels I go to. I heard a young guy's sales pitch, telling his potential customer that "Yeah bows are much lighter now since they quit making risers out of plutonium".


----------



## lee martin

I was shooting indoor with a guy who kept clicking his Carter release while it was in his pocket. My " clicker " shooting friend next to him asked " Why do you keep on clicking your trigger while Im aiming. The guy replied:

"Its just a bad habitat"


----------



## lee martin

I sold a VERY wealthy guy a truck bed load of " BuckGrub " to take to his deer camp. A few weeks later he cam in and told me that he was disappointed with the Buck Grub. I asked why and he replied:

" Everytime I hunt around the Buck Grub I see does eating it "


----------



## Caligater

joeprec said:


> At alot of tournaments I have been to lately, there have been lots of people wearing there colours Hoyt Mathews Bowtech etc shooting gear head to toe and for some reason I expect top notch shooting from those types but when the awards are handed out its a bunch of fat ******* lookin dudes wearing regular clothes....go figure.


I'm sure those "sponsored" guys had the highest scores, but they don't need their shelves lined with even more trophies, so they just didn't turn their score cards in. :wink:


----------



## wevans340

ttt


----------



## HuntWhenever

was at the shop the last month, guy was at the archery counter checking on a Maxxis he had ordered. Guy asked the archery tech how much (price) they had agreed on. Not wanting to miss a good opportunity to be a smart-butt, I looked over to the customer and said "He said $500 before, right? :wink: " Guy smiles and says, "Yea, that was what it was!" Archery tech just shakes his head and, without missing a beat, says "@#*!, make it $350...if your gonna go there, go all the way!" We all got a good laugh.


----------



## apache pilot

for they guy who got caught stealing broadheads by putting them in his pocket....good thing they werent rages or he would have lost his leg! lol:darkbeer:


----------



## joehunter8301

we used to shoot at a weekly 3d shoot and one of our buddies had his dad join us who didnt quite have all his cylinders working so to say. he meant well but just one of them guys that you dont want anywhere near you come hunting time. he couldnt see to save his life let alone hit any targets when he shot. but to this day my brother and i joke almost everyday when we are shooting about his comments he used to make. even if he wasnt lookin at the target whoever shot after you heard the thud of the arrow wackin the target he would say "sounded like a good hit" hahaha having no clue where it hit. ya'll know what im talkin bout. its funnier in person lol


----------



## archerm3

apache pilot said:


> for all you guys working in the bowshop that get asked to sight in a bow for the lazy guy that just wants to buy it and go straight to the woods, sight it in a 90 yards and when he comes back in raging mad that he missed a deer at 20 tell him that you did sight it in. just not at 20. lol


dude, here's some periods to use on your smartphone, all of your posts seem to be missing a few. Go read your 5 and 9.

...............


----------



## Extreme vft17

*Nice!*



3children said:


> A guy calls on the phone to ask if I would have a set of strings for his bow! He said they broke when he took the first shot at home. I asked if he had dry fired the bow, "no, I wet the bow first"!
> While working at a gun shop, had a woman come in and asked for some blanks for target pratice! I also had a lady come in and bought a .25 "saturday nite special". I asked what was she planning on doing with it, for I teach pistol shooting. She said she had plans to go to the archery range and shoot one of the moose and blame it on one of those bow guys. I called the F&G and she followed through with what she said she would do. This was in Alaska. By the way she did jail time!!!



Im glad you called that one in, what an idiot she was. Glad she did jail time!


----------



## Jungleman

*not from the bow shop, but.........*

I was out back shooting the other day and old neighbor lady was across the fence from my 30 yd and she says 
"so, you goin after that Thanksgiving turkey?"

I said no it`s July, I`m getting ready for deer season.

she says "Oh, I was watching the DEER channel on the tv and those COWARDS were shooting the deers and elks out of blinds and from up in the trees! I don`t understand why they can`t just get out there with them and make it more fair instead of hiding like that"

I said um yeah, I like to hunt on foot myself, in fact if I can get close enough I don`t even use my bow I just grab them by the antlers and wrestle them down :wink:

she says "well good for you"

:doh:


----------



## apache pilot

archerm3 said:


> dude, here's some periods to use on your smartphone, all of your posts seem to be missing a few. Go read your 5 and 9.
> 
> ...............


thanks for the grammar lesson teach. you probably should get onto all the people on here that can't spell. that would keep you busy for ever. didnt need the hijack sir. lets keep this thread going on without it getting locked down. thanks for everybody that has joined in with a story..............................................................................................


----------



## mathewshooterxt

Heres the request that I made at a bow shop and the answer I recieved. I went to a local Mathews dealer and asked him if he had any colored dampeners in stock and he said " they make colored dampeners?". I had to grab his Mathews catalog off the counter and show him the dampeners so he knew what I was talking about. Some people need to get a clue!


----------



## ribbedturtlenec

At the optics counter at Dick's yesterday...

Two teenage boys walk up, and one picks up a rangefinder (without a battery in it, by the way). 

The other one gets all excited and says, "Dude!! Is that night vision?" 

The first one takes a look through the unit and replies, "Whoa, everything is super big!" 

And then they both walked away...


Not that they should be expected to know what it is or how to use it, but I just thought it was a funny exchange.


----------



## Mr.Coon

*great thread*

my poor father is kind of like some of the men spoken of here. i have to walk away from him when we go to a proshop and he starts talking to the guys behind the counter. the stuff that starts coming out of his mouth is amazing! i think he just gets nervous and tries to sound like he is in the know. he isn't irresponsible or anything and is tremendously respected as a hunter in our community. he has the shooting and killing part down. he just can't grasp the terminology and the fact that todays arrows and compound bows are not the same as the ones from the 70s.


----------



## paraglide

*I want to thank you personally, Archer3M*

"dude, here's some periods to use.......... "

Finally, something that made me laugh.

Here is a capital D, for ya, Dude.:wink:


----------



## Caligater

Jungleman said:


> I was out back shooting the other day and old neighbor lady was across the fence from my 30 yd and she says
> "so, you goin after that Thanksgiving turkey?"
> 
> I said no it`s July, I`m getting ready for deer season.
> 
> she says "Oh, I was watching the DEER channel on the tv and those COWARDS were shooting the deers and elks out of blinds and from up in the trees! I don`t understand why they can`t just get out there with them and make it more fair instead of hiding like that"
> 
> I said um yeah, I like to hunt on foot myself, in fact if I can get close enough I don`t even use my bow I just grab them by the antlers and wrestle them down :wink:
> 
> she says "well good for you"
> 
> :doh:


:icon_1_lol:


----------



## 2005Ultramag

Jungleman said:


> I was out back shooting the other day and old neighbor lady was across the fence from my 30 yd and she says
> "so, you goin after that Thanksgiving turkey?"
> 
> I said no it`s July, I`m getting ready for deer season.
> 
> she says "Oh, I was watching the DEER channel on the tv and those COWARDS were shooting the deers and elks out of blinds and from up in the trees! I don`t understand why they can`t just get out there with them and make it more fair instead of hiding like that"
> 
> I said um yeah, I like to hunt on foot myself, in fact if I can get close enough I don`t even use my bow I just grab them by the antlers and wrestle them down :wink:
> 
> she says "well good for you"
> 
> :doh:


You can't fix stupid! :chortle:


----------



## brianhood

I was at the checkout counter at a Gander Mountain store the other day and got a good laugh. A guy was checking out and spied a box of those little rubber coated bow hangers for screwing into trees. He snatched up the whole box and replied to the cashier,"A man can never have too many tree steps and at this price it is too good a bargain to pass up". The cashier agreed!


----------



## Mr.Coon

ahunter55 said:


> .
> New people DO NOT KNOW so it's up to us to show them. If their a wise A--, you know right off, thats a different story...


very true:thumbs_up


----------



## nycredneck

brianhood said:


> I was at the checkout counter at a Gander Mountain store the other day and got a good laugh. A guy was checking out and spied a box of those little rubber coated bow hangers for screwing into trees. He snatched up the whole box and replied to the cashier,"A man can never have too many tree steps and at this price it is too good a bargain to pass up". The cashier agreed!


That one's gonna hurt.


----------



## Mr.Coon

Viper69 said:


> I had a guy come in yesterday and tell me how great the Rage broadheads were. I told him they all are good if you hittem where you should and he replied "No you can hit them anywhere and it will kill them". I stated that you better not hit solid bone and he said no problem they will blow through any bone out there!


i have sadly been hearing that one a lot too. thanks outdoor tv land


----------



## mmtcougar

A buddy and I were at a Sportsmans Warehouse checking out the new bowtecs. The tec hands him one and asks what he will be using it for. My buddy says hunting. Tec says "You cant use any of these bows that shoot over 300fps for hunting". Taking the bait we asked why. "They are just to fast to be accurate enough for hunting."



Not real funny just kinda sad. I was working at the local pro shop when a gentlman(5'10" 180#) comes in interested in getting into archery and wants a really good bow. We sold Mathews and Martin. So I grabbed a Switchback and handed to him. He couldnt draw it back. No problem we'll just turn it down(for some reason the owner wanted all bows always maxed out). Turned down he still couldnt draw it. After going through all of our bows I finally turned a Tigress all the way down, 25-30#. Still no go. Last straw would have been to hand him a genisis but I didnt want to humiliate the man(I think he was already). I just said well we just dont have a bow that will fit you right now, you will have to check back.


----------



## LiteSpeed1

brianhood said:


> I was at the checkout counter at a Gander Mountain store the other day and got a good laugh. A guy was checking out and spied a box of those little rubber coated bow hangers for screwing into trees. He snatched up the whole box and replied to the cashier,"A man can never have too many tree steps and at this price it is too good a bargain to pass up". The cashier agreed!


He probably wll try using a Hunter Dan treestand because they are so easy to pack in.


----------



## csschallanger

i was at an academy one night, just poking around passing some time. a fella walked up to the gun counter with 2 boxes of rifle bullets. he held up a box of .270win and a box of .270wsm, and asked to guy wich of "which one of these does my gun shoot?" they worker politely asked if he had the gun with him, and to just bring it in the store so he could tell. when the fella walked out to his truck to get his gun, i looked and the worker and kinds smirked. the workers response was " i wasn't even gonna trust him to look at the gun himself, thats why i told him to just bring it in." 

one day at my archery shop standing there waiting for something, started talking to a guy. i see him at 3d shoots in the pro classes, supposed to be a pretty good archery guy. we get to talking and one of his "stories" was him bragging about how he shot a doe last season, at 80 yards, walking, and she only took two steps when the arrow hit her. i had to pull the b.s. card out on that one. 

just a little common sense would go a long ways for some people.


----------



## manybows

LiteSpeed1 said:


> He probably wll try using a Hunter Dan treestand because they are so easy to pack in.


Best post so far!!!:darkbeer::darkbeer::darkbeer:


----------



## robert kirchner

bump too good to stop


----------



## apache pilot

bump


----------



## CT...

I was at my local shop and started talking to a guy about my first compound, a 02(i think) Martin Jaguar. He said a buddy of his had one that sounded like a gun going off and would shoot 1 pin.... TO 80 YARDS!! LOL. mine was a bit noisy but not like a gun, makes me wonder what grain arrow he was shooting.
anyway i just gave him a smile and a nod. most just need a little guidance, but some are just out of their minds.


----------



## PA Dave

I'm trying to push out of my mind the question of how often the clueless clerk outfits the clueless customer and no one ever straightens either of them out. We share the woods with them.


----------



## HuntWhenever

At a bowshoot over heard a guy trying to "educate" another shooter. They were talking about IBO rules and he kept saying "5 grains-per-inch". Now granted I sometimes type 5 gpi instead of 5 gpp by accident every now and again, but this guy kept saying 5 gpi over and over and over. :rofl:


----------



## 12 rings only

dtrkyman said:


> guy calls asking to see about making his bow more quiet,upon further investigation he didnt have any arrows yet:mg:


Had a guy walk in and ask this very same thing....then dry fired it infont of 3 guys and they dove for cover!!!


----------



## Ignition kid

Lynch Mob said:


> this is one of those deals that can't be blame on no one but myself and is one of these deals that still haunts me ever since. One of our reptuable sport stores where i was the main ibo shooter for them and the workers were all tight friiends and were well aware of our abilities had the new man bow to see if i could shoot the heavy heman monster.
> 
> They were know in carrying the heavy weights from XI, York, Pse and the new demon from oneida a 90 pounder, i was challenged out to be the only one who could shoot this speed demom.
> 
> We had to take it to the outside targets with the bow and what to be some logs to shoot out of this beast, it brought with it a tiny crowd to watch as instrucions for my 4 yesr old son was to stay inside. So i proceeded to pull out my superman cape and was drilling the bullseye with fingers and no sight, just the sound of the force defiinitley made you feel special just by the force of the lower limb cominhg down like it was using jet fuel smoking past our legs.
> 
> My last shot and I'm telling you last shot i ever took with oneida eagle bow again, my son who was in side had slipped to right to his daddy cause Daddy is eveything did not notice him standing right next to my right leg and as the shot went off hitting the bullseye I turned to look at the men with faces pale white and the shop pro who had me doing this was dry heaving to the side.
> When the story of this limb zipping pass my beautiful sons head missing as i m sure by some angels hair, shook me so bad that i nerver shot another oneida, and damn sure my son presence is always known.
> 
> The moral here was we got so caught up in maccho bs that safety wasnt the main priority and that ignorance could have killed my only son at my hands, and by the grace of the good lord bleesed us the chance to share many hunts to this day. He spoke last summer at a church wild game dinner speaaking what a influence and hero his dad has been to him throught his whole life.
> I choked on this and thought deeply and came to the conclusion what an awesome God we serve.
> 
> I know the story was long, but it was to let you know it isn't always the yoyos making these insane mistakes , yea sometimes its us pros that get the award.
> Thanks for listening.
> 
> George


good story, definitely a great lesson and what a loving father and you you two are.

I have one story that isn't quite as good as some of you guys (one that gets me is the guy letting go of the Reezen's riser and the guy with a longbow wanting the draw length adjusted). I was in an archery shop and some ******* walks in with a 20 year old crossbow and I really didn't hear much but one thing i heard the guy say was "I need to get one of those arrow stoppin' thingamajiggers" and man did I feel smart that day. Not the best but still.

Man there sure are alot of stupid people out there in the world and to think they vote, hunt, and reproduce makes me shiver, I had to take a bathroom break from all the stories.


----------



## philhoney

Hi,
Not a shop but still relevent.
Our club held a Have A Go at a local carnival where everyone could shoot 5 arrows for £1 with 1 to 1 instruction. Most of the bows in use were what we call "jelly bows". One piece glass fibre bows of between 10 to 20lbs draw weight. Some of the club members had set their own bows up just to get some shooting time in if it got quiet.
A group of late teen boys came to the set up and the biggest of them asked me "what is the biggest bow?" His words, not mine. I handed him my 11yr old grandaughters old Hoyt 25lb compound which has been worked on to bring the draw weight down to about 22lb.
He managed to shoot his 5 arrows but was clearly struggling. To add insult to injury I got my Grandaughter to shoot 5 arrows. Not only did she outshoot him but drew the bow easily. He was twice as big as her and the look on his face was worth a hundred pictures and the ribbing he took from his mates was priceless.
Phil


----------



## Newhunter1

ttt


----------



## cmalone1

Gotta take this one back up!! Just can't quit laughing at all this!!


----------



## Usingmyrights

apache pilot said:


> or the kid who comes in with the old bow his dad gave him. you know like this one and asks if this is a good bow.


I don't see that as a dumb question. Just because something is old doesn't mean its not good and in the firearm world an older version of the same model may even be better. I'm sure the same could be applied to many things.



apache pilot said:


> what do you say to that? then he picks up a new hoyt or mathews and asks whats the difference in these from his bow. lol. i hated that situation


Why is that a dumb question for someone who is not into the sport. Ignorance doesn't mean stupid, unless they choose to be ignorant about it. Instead of laughing people could explain the differences in the bows.


As far as sighting ina bow goes, when I bought my bow they said they sight in the top pin to 20yds. I was thinking that I was going to have to do some tweeking, but it was actually right on for me. So it is possible, I guess its just a matter of having enough staff on hand to have someone that can shoot the various DLs


----------



## alkaline

Obligatory bump.


----------



## Liv4Rut

One day I was at the shop shooting by myself and this guy came in and set up shop next to me. We made light conversation and then he looked at my release and said, "Oh, your one of those cheaters that uses a release eh?". I just kind of laughed and said yeah I tried the fingers thing and it didn't fly so well. 

He then said that he believed in traditional archery and that fingers is the only way to go. I kind of chuckled and thought to myself this dude is shooting a Mathews switchback, he is definitely a die hard traditional man.

What happened over the next few minutes I still break out in laughter every time I think of it. I am on one side of the lane shooting and he is over there throwing arrows absolutely everywhere. I keep hearing him muttering and cursing under his breath. I was trying to keep from laughing so I wasn't paying any attention to him or watching him shoot until I heard, "F&^%^%^ A!!! When I look over he is holding and twitching his nose with his hand. I asked him what is wrong. He said he kept hitting his nose with his hand every time he shot. 

I told him to shoot once. I could not believe it when he pulled back by grasping the string the wrong way to where he had his thumb pointing down instead of up where you reach around the string and pull back normally. He was settling in with his knuckles against his nose and every time he shot it would release so wildly it would smuck him in his nose. He would shoot all over the place.

He looked at me and said, how do I keep from hitting my nose? I looked him dead in the eye and said, that is exactly why I shoot a release. I got tired of smacking my nose every time I shot with fingers. He said no shi%!!! I am going to buy one and walked up to the shop owner and said I need a release so that I don't hit my nose anymore when shooting fingers. 

The shop owner was confused and I couldn't get out of that place fast enough I was laughing so hard!!! I am laughing right now thinking of it!!


----------



## Elkvalleyhunter

Usingmyrights said:


> The Razors Edge is also the only dual cam bow in their adult line up. It'd actually, be more of an adolescent bow. They're (Diamond) is marketed as basically being a single cam bowtech


There's the "Polar Ice" as well!


----------



## popestev

Usingmyrights said:


> The Razors Edge is also the only dual cam bow in their adult line up. It'd actually, be more of an adolescent bow. They're (Diamond) is marketed as basically being a single cam bowtech


What do you mean, it is still a bow maid by "Diamond". It has that blue Diamond on it. Does the Monster not count as a Mathews since it is their only dual cam bow?


Sorry did not mean to Hi jack the thread, you may now return to your regular programing.


----------



## tapout155

popestev said:


> What do you mean, it is still a bow maid by "Diamond". It has that blue Diamond on it. Does the Monster not count as a Mathews since it is their only dual cam bow?
> 
> 
> Sorry did not mean to Hi jack the thread, you may now return to your regular programing.


NO the Monster is a MCPHERSON bow.......................Mathews are completely against dual cam bows. I believe a few years ago they spent alot of money saying the dual cams werent as good as single cams. So no Mathews did not make the monster.


----------



## PA Dave

tapout155 said:


> NO the Monster is a MCPHERSON bow.......................Mathews are completely against dual cam bows. I believe a few years ago they spent alot of money saying the dual cams werent as good as single cams. So no Mathews did not make the monster.


The Monster is a "McPhearson Series" bow by Mathews.


----------



## popestev

tapout155 said:


> NO the Monster is a MCPHERSON bow.......................Mathews are completely against dual cam bows. I believe a few years ago they spent alot of money saying the dual cams werent as good as single cams. So no Mathews did not make the monster.


----------



## apache pilot

Usingmyrights said:


> I don't see that as a dumb question. Just because something is old doesn't mean its not good and in the firearm world an older version of the same model may even be better. I'm sure the same could be applied to many things.
> 
> 
> 
> Why is that a dumb question for someone who is not into the sport. Ignorance doesn't mean stupid, unless they choose to be ignorant about it. Instead of laughing people could explain the differences in the bows.
> 
> 
> As far as sighting ina bow goes, when I bought my bow they said they sight in the top pin to 20yds. I was thinking that I was going to have to do some tweeking, but it was actually right on for me. So it is possible, I guess its just a matter of having enough staff on hand to have someone that can shoot the various DLs


i never said it was a dumb question. it just puts me in a bad position when i have to show them the difference. man attack me bc im the op? is that it?


----------



## Usingmyrights

apache pilot said:


> i never said it was a dumb question. it just puts me in a bad position when i have to show them the difference. man attack me bc im the op? is that it?


I'm not attacking you and I don't see how it puts you in a bad position. Take his bow and a modern bow and show him the difference on the bows. Let him shoot both side by side. If he's gets upset, so what. He'll probably be upset when he can't hit a deer because he's getting hunting advice from hunters shooting much more effective equipment


----------



## Hoytbowman1

Liv4Rut said:


> One day I was at the shop shooting by myself and this guy came in and set up shop next to me. We made light conversation and then he looked at my release and said, "Oh, your one of those cheaters that uses a release eh?". I just kind of laughed and said yeah I tried the fingers thing and it didn't fly so well.
> 
> He then said that he believed in traditional archery and that fingers is the only way to go. I kind of chuckled and thought to myself this dude is shooting a Mathews switchback, he is definitely a die hard traditional man.
> 
> What happened over the next few minutes I still break out in laughter every time I think of it. I am on one side of the lane shooting and he is over there throwing arrows absolutely everywhere. I keep hearing him muttering and cursing under his breath. I was trying to keep from laughing so I wasn't paying any attention to him or watching him shoot until I heard, "F&^%^%^ A!!! When I look over he is holding and twitching his nose with his hand. I asked him what is wrong. He said he kept hitting his nose with his hand every time he shot.
> 
> I told him to shoot once. I could not believe it when he pulled back by grasping the string the wrong way to where he had his thumb pointing down instead of up where you reach around the string and pull back normally. He was settling in with his knuckles against his nose and every time he shot it would release so wildly it would smuck him in his nose. He would shoot all over the place.
> 
> He looked at me and said, how do I keep from hitting my nose? I looked him dead in the eye and said, that is exactly why I shoot a release. I got tired of smacking my nose every time I shot with fingers. He said no shi%!!! I am going to buy one and walked up to the shop owner and said I need a release so that I don't hit my nose anymore when shooting fingers.
> 
> The shop owner was confused and I couldn't get out of that place fast enough I was laughing so hard!!! I am laughing right now thinking of it!!



Classic............Thank you so much....


----------



## gun870guy

tapout155 said:


> NO the Monster is a MCPHERSON bow.......................Mathews are completely against dual cam bows. I believe a few years ago they spent alot of money saying the dual cams werent as good as single cams. So no Mathews did not make the monster.


well,
at least this is in the right thread 



jk....

http://mathewsinc.com/mathews-bows-13049-44-ViewProduct-1503-324.asp


----------



## kyarcher27

Some very good ones, the one that sticks out most to me is from a guy i work with who is not quite right anyway(this particular gem is not related to archery, but i think it fits)

a few weeks before spring turkey season opens, he says he would really like a camo shotgun, he's tired of his old wood stock blued one, and asked me if i knew of a way to camoflauge it. I tell him that i've never done my own, but said i've known people to get the camoflauge colored spray paints and do their own pattern. The weekend passes and he says he tried some of that paint but it didn't work out so well. When i asked what was wrong with, he said "well i hung the gun up and started sprayin, but the paint was only coming out one color, i guess i'm gonna have to take it back and get another can!" I guess i could've pointed out his mistake, but i just looked confused and said yeah man i don't know what could've happened!


----------



## huntinfool84

this thread SCARES THE CRAP OUT OF ME!!!!! but its fun to read :wink:


----------



## JimHendrix

This didn't happen at an archery shop, but it did take place out at an outdoor range.

I was out at the range a few months back when an older gentleman pulls up with his brand new bow. He proceeds to tell me that he has been discussing picking up a sponsorship with this particular company and being on their pro staff. He then spends the next 30 minutes talking about how good he is and how amazingly fast his bow is. He then pulls out a full length arrow that weighed approx 580 grains and he goes on to tell me that he still needed a heavier arrow so he get down to the maximum speed that A.S.A allows. Oh yeah, he is shooting one pin to 30 yards and holding dead on the bullseye  . The problem was his bows IBO is 330fps. Now I know that many archers don't know what the speed of their bow is, and I don't even care much about speed, but this was coming from a man who claims to be turning pro... not only that but during the entire conversation, he proclaimed how much he knows about archery.

When he finally stops talking and actually lets a few go down range, he was shooting about a 5 inch group at 20 yards. :darkbeer:


----------



## wevans340

Had a guy at work tell me the other day that he doesnt hunt below 50' in a treestand. 

Had someone tell me years ago that he shot geese with a 30-06. while they were flying (not trying to land or on the ground) I live in Indiana. The same guy told me that he had been drinking, not facing the water, HEARD a pike jumping OUT of the water at 75 yards, turned around and shot it with a crossbow before it went back in. :set1_rolf2::icon_1_lol:


----------



## wevans340

Last year I was in a local shop buying pyrodex powder for my muzzleloader. Another customer told me that when you use more then 50 grains it doesnt do anything for the speed of the bullet. He said you get the same speed from 50 grains as you would 150 grains :doh: ! he said when he shots 50 grains it shots so clean it doesnt even leave a trace of residue in the barrel.


----------



## ItecKid

TTT

I was getting some arrows made and another guy came into the shop with some cock-and-bull story about how the cable slipped off his top cam. I commented to the tech when the guy was out of earshot that it looked like a dry fire. The tech agreed, but the guy INSISTED he had an arrow on it...


----------



## hewy

great tread keep it up


----------



## grfox

to the top


----------



## 2005Ultramag

ItecKid said:


> TTT
> 
> I was getting some arrows made and another guy came into the shop with some cock-and-bull story about how the cable slipped off his top cam. I commented to the tech when the guy was out of earshot that it looked like a dry fire. The tech agreed, but the guy INSISTED he had an arrow on it...


He did, but he missed the target, and never did find that danged thing!

A few days later he figured out that the shop mistakenly sold him 13 arrows instead of 12, because he lost one when the cam derailed but still had 12.:wink:


----------



## wevans340

:darkbeer::set1_rolf2::bump:


----------



## ItecKid

2005Ultramag said:


> He did, but he missed the target, and never did find that danged thing!


He did have a story that sort of went to that effect...

Anyway, he the end, he apparently called his dad about the shop giving him lip about fixing his bow, and then his dad called the shop and confirmed that he did indeed dry fire...

Ttt


----------



## easyeriq

There are alot of funny stories. I think I read them all:mg:


----------



## hossa1881

Not as funny as others but its the best ive got,

A guy I worked with who had just moved to town from up north claimed to be this amazing hunter/archer. He was telling me stories of how he routinely shoots to 80 yards and has 2" groups. He also said that he took some 18pt buck that scored in the top 3 for MI. Another story he told me was that he had shot 2 partridge with one arrow the previous day. So im thinking hes pretty much full of BS, but ill give him the benefit of the doubt. So we plan to shoot at the BPS down the street and he pulls out this 1980 somethin youth bow and proceeds to miss the target WALL that they have set up (about 8' high by 20' wide). He put it in the drywall about a foot above the target. The guy tries blaming it on his rest/arrow/sight/peep/shoe size/ect. I have never met someone more full of it than this guy but he sure made me laugh after this outing cuz he still kept telling me these tall tales. Like his $80,000 el Camino with a $40,000 sound system, yet he couldnt afford rent and had no pictures of it cuz it was at his dads house.

Sorry for being so long
Bret


----------



## Inu_Yasha

Ok, after reading this thread I had a great laugh. Here's mine:

I was at Academy looking at some bows with my little cousin who claimed he had shot bullseye multiple times with "his friend's" compound at 50 yards. The guy behind the gun counter made a statement that they had a complete package Bear bow for $300, and my little cousin goes "look it even comes with a handle! But something's wrong with the string... it has a hole in it" He was talking about the stabilizer and the peep sight...


----------



## hoyt3

I had a lady come in to GM when I worked there and wanted to get her boyfriend a bow.

I could tell she really didn't have much clue to what she was talking about...It's a good thing I didn't work on comission, because I talked more people OUT of things than into them. 

I'm not the greatest archer or tech, but I know what people should start out at, and man, there are so many out there that are misguided it isn't funny.


----------



## timbawolf98

Not necessarily archery-related, but this was a phone conversation at the local shop one day last fall, and I was there to witness it.

Phone starts ringing, so one of the guys pick it up with the normal "Good afternoon..." spill and starts talking to the guy. The man on the other end of the phone asks if the shop carried "any of them there Ruger's." The guy on the phone, knowing a good amount about guns, asks the guy to elaborate on what he's looking for, but he still claims hes looking for one of "them there Ruger's." After telling the guy they had plenty of Ruger firearms, and that he should come in, he asks if they also carry "one of those illuminated *rectical* scopes"... it's a big running joke for us at the shop now, everyone knows the story of the man looking for one of them there Ruger's with the illuminated rectical scope


----------



## hunt1up

Quick story, not a dumb request, but a dumb mistake, from my DAD!

I had a friend from AZ here for 2 weeks last October to bow hunt. One day after our morning hunt, My friend, dad, and myself went to a few archery shops to help my dad look at some new bows. My dad has owned a few bows, killed a few archery deer, but isn't a die hard archery hunter. He does a little of bow and gun each year. Needless to say, he knew how to shoot a bow and wasn't too bad of a shot.

We go to the first shop that carried Mathews, PSE, and Bear. He shot a DXT and a few others and really liked the DXT (He was shooting a 10 year old PSE). He was going to buy it, but I insisted he go to the shop that had Bowtech and Hoyt before he settled on the DXT. He agreed. 

We get to the second shop and the guy behind the counter has my dad shoot a Turbohawk. He likes it. We then suggested he try an Alphamax too. Tech gets it all set up and hands my dad the release. 

Now the good part. This shop has a 30 yard range and my dad was shooting from about 15 yards or so. All along the ceiling is a bunch of florescent light bulbs, about 8 footers or so. Anyway, be it that the bow as just different, or the release too sensitive, or perhaps the real reason, he just had his finger in the wrong spot, my dad drew back, on a bit of an upward angle, and THWACK! Glass started flying everywhere. He had released an arrow into the ceiling and about 8 giant light bulbs came crashing down!

The tech stayed calm and just said, "You aren't the first one." and hands my dad another arrow. The tech didn't even make a face! My friend and I had to walk away, I was truely crying with laughter. I have never felt more embarassed for someone else as I did for my dad that day. Needless to say, my dad bought the AM32 and has been shooting it proficiently ever since. They didn't even charge him for the bulbs, even though my dad insisted on paying for them. :darkbeer:


----------



## snopro168

Owner of the shop i go to was telling me a story about a guy who came in and bought some of the Gobbler Guillatine (spelling?) broadheads with the big long blades, a few days later the guy comes back saying " these things are junk, I hit a bird square in the chest and it didnt do anything!" Took some explaining that "guillatine" means to cut off the head


----------



## lowboy

Some people just don't have a clue.


----------



## bacon27

mmtcougar said:


> Not real funny just kinda sad. I was working at the local pro shop when a gentlman(5'10" 180#) comes in interested in getting into archery and wants a really good bow. We sold Mathews and Martin. So I grabbed a Switchback and handed to him. He couldnt draw it back. No problem we'll just turn it down(for some reason the owner wanted all bows always maxed out). Turned down he still couldnt draw it. After going through all of our bows I finally turned a Tigress all the way down, 25-30#. Still no go. Last straw would have been to hand him a genisis but I didnt want to humiliate the man(I think he was already). I just said well we just dont have a bow that will fit you right now, you will have to check back.


Seriously? Holy smokes that would be embarrassing for all parties involved, nothing to see here folks! :doh:

But at the same time, quite funny.


----------



## ItecKid

bacon27 said:


> Seriously? Holy smokes that would be embarrassing for all parties involved, nothing to see here folks! :doh:
> 
> But at the same time, quite funny.


It happens quite often. As an officer of our college archery club, I help out showing new people the ropes, and you would not believe these healthy young men who can not pull back 30lbs kids bows...

Ttt


----------



## apache pilot

hunt1up said:


> Quick story, not a dumb request, but a dumb mistake, from my DAD!
> 
> I had a friend from AZ here for 2 weeks last October to bow hunt. One day after our morning hunt, My friend, dad, and myself went to a few archery shops to help my dad look at some new bows. My dad has owned a few bows, killed a few archery deer, but isn't a die hard archery hunter. He does a little of bow and gun each year. Needless to say, he knew how to shoot a bow and wasn't too bad of a shot.
> 
> We go to the first shop that carried Mathews, PSE, and Bear. He shot a DXT and a few others and really liked the DXT (He was shooting a 10 year old PSE). He was going to buy it, but I insisted he go to the shop that had Bowtech and Hoyt before he settled on the DXT. He agreed.
> 
> We get to the second shop and the guy behind the counter has my dad shoot a Turbohawk. He likes it. We then suggested he try an Alphamax too. Tech gets it all set up and hands my dad the release.
> 
> Now the good part. This shop has a 30 yard range and my dad was shooting from about 15 yards or so. All along the ceiling is a bunch of florescent light bulbs, about 8 footers or so. Anyway, be it that the bow as just different, or the release too sensitive, or perhaps the real reason, he just had his finger in the wrong spot, my dad drew back, on a bit of an upward angle, and THWACK! Glass started flying everywhere. He had released an arrow into the ceiling and about 8 giant light bulbs came crashing down!
> 
> The tech stayed calm and just said, "You aren't the first one." and hands my dad another arrow. The tech didn't even make a face! My friend and I had to walk away, I was truely crying with laughter. I have never felt more embarassed for someone else as I did for my dad that day. Needless to say, my dad bought the AM32 and has been shooting it proficiently ever since. They didn't even charge him for the bulbs, even though my dad insisted on paying for them. :darkbeer:


great story!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111


----------



## archerm3

paraglide said:


> "dude, here's some periods to use.......... "
> 
> Finally, something that made me laugh.
> 
> Here is a capital D, for ya, Dude.:wink:


Thanks, I was looking for that... :wink:

:darkbeer:

D


----------



## HuntWhenever

Ttt


----------



## Unclegus

maby not funny, but sad. I was visiting my favortie archery haunt telling the usual lies, when this lad comes in....Maby early twenties or so. He wants to know about the Mathews Black Max. The shop tech tells him he doesn't have one for him to look at because they don't keep them because they are so hard to shoot the Pros won't even fool with them. The kid asks" how long would it take you to get one for me?" I think the best thing I hear repeatedly is not asking what the price is but How fast is this one? or what's the fastest thing you got??????

How about the guy who has a deer on his father in law's farm with a rack so big that when it tries to drink, his hind feet come off the ground?


----------



## hunterthehunter

Ohio Mossy Oak said:


> what spline arrows do i need is one of my favorites..Or the people who think a .400 spine..400 means how heavy the arrow is..etc


HEY I USED TO THINK THAT! LOL


----------



## ItecKid

Ttt


----------



## Coltran03

*Ttt*

Morning bump


----------



## floater

I took a bowhunting education class as a requirement to apply for a special hunt and the instructor was holding the bow upside down while he told us how to "notch" an arrow.


----------



## apache pilot

ttt


----------



## Double"O"

I work at Dicks in the lodge and i had a guy try to return a box of "defective" ammo

I ask the guy what the problem was and he said "the sides keep splitting and they wont eject right" (the ammo in question was remington core lokt .308 win)

So i ask him to bring me the gun and i'll see what is wrong because i am sure it's not the ammo after i inspected 3 casings with split sides and saw something that really disturbed me 

The guy brings in a Remington 700 30-06 and low and behold there is a 4th .308 rem casing stuck in it...i was like WOW not only once but 4 times this guy tried to blow his face off!


----------



## snopro168

Didn't happen in a shop but a few years back a kid i went to high school with tried bragging to me that he and his dad had BOTH drawn michigan elk tags that year(pretty much impossible). i was already chuckling to myself when he went on to tell me that he was going to set his bow to 90 lbs so he could shoot right through the elks neck, which was the best way to kill one


----------



## ksgoosekillr

Double"O" said:


> I work at Dicks in the lodge and i had a guy try to return a box of "defective" ammo
> 
> I ask the guy what the problem was and he said "the sides keep splitting and they wont eject right" (the ammo in question was remington core lokt .308 win)
> 
> So i ask him to bring me the gun and i'll see what is wrong because i am sure it's not the ammo after i inspected 3 casings with split sides and saw something that really disturbed me
> 
> The guy brings in a Remington 700 30-06 and low and behold there is a 4th .308 rem casing stuck in it...i was like WOW not only once but 4 times this guy tried to blow his face off!


NATURAL SELECTION! that pretty much sums up 90% of the stuff i've read on this topic...


----------



## Ron Bennington

Buddies of mine took a bowhunter education class in Colorado. The guy teaching the class was some ham-n-egger dope. He read the stuff in the manual to the class and shared the following gem of wisdom when he read everything there was to read in his teachin' book.....

"A bow is capable of shooting arrows in excess of 2,800 feet per second. They are dangerous at distances in excess of a mile."

Everyone was in awe.


----------



## pabowhuntsman

Double"O" said:


> I work at Dicks in the lodge and i had a guy try to return a box of "defective" ammo
> 
> I ask the guy what the problem was and he said "the sides keep splitting and they wont eject right" (the ammo in question was remington core lokt .308 win)
> 
> So i ask him to bring me the gun and i'll see what is wrong because i am sure it's not the ammo after i inspected 3 casings with split sides and saw something that really disturbed me
> 
> The guy brings in a Remington 700 30-06 and low and behold there is a 4th .308 rem casing stuck in it...i was like WOW not only once but 4 times this guy tried to blow his face off!


Wow! That's REALLY sad! Kinda makes you wonder about that hunter sittin' in that treestand just over yonder. Is he a dope too?!?!


----------



## mq1_kenobi

i used to work at a proshop a few years back and a guy came in with a brand new Mathews Outback with the paint on the limbs sanded away. He said he wanted to check his draw weight on the scale. I was wonderin why he took the sander to his limbs until i realized the bow was out of time and something just looked odd. Apparently he couldnt pull 70 lbs back and he wanted less draw weight so he took some material off the outside of the limbs with a sander. wow. I offerend to show him how to back the limbs off with a wrench but i think he was too embarrassed and he promptly took his timebomb of a bow and left.


----------



## mq1_kenobi

I've also seen an older gentleman shooting a martin with the bowstring tied in a knot. Had to ask him to stop shooting the indoor range for his and everyone elses safety. I wonder how the guy tied two broken ends together on a strung compound. hmmm.


----------



## bambieslayer

mq1_kenobi said:


> I've also seen an older gentleman shooting a martin with the bowstring tied in a knot. Had to ask him to stop shooting the indoor range for his and everyone elses safety. I wonder how the guy tied two broken ends together on a strung compound. hmmm.


easy just put it between the tractor and the barn. back the tractor up bout 7/8 inches ,shut er down. climb on down ther and tie it off! 
holy moly how did he do it????


----------



## bambieslayer

my favorite one is the guy who claimed to make an 80 yard shot on a doe both shoulders, complete passthrough with his oneida eagle 
funny thing was after I replaced the string he could barely draw it @ 60 # and was shooting all over the wall from 20 yards. he had more exuses than a kid with his hand in the cookie jar


----------



## BQC123

bambieslayer said:


> easy just put it between the tractor and the barn. back the tractor up bout 7/8 inches ,shut er down. climb on down ther and tie it off!


Thanks! The bow shop isn't getting any more money to work on my bow. Maybe this should be posted in the DIY section!:wink:


----------



## apache pilot

mq1_kenobi said:


> i used to work at a proshop a few years back and a guy came in with a brand new Mathews Outback with the paint on the limbs sanded away. He said he wanted to check his draw weight on the scale. I was wonderin why he took the sander to his limbs until i realized the bow was out of time and something just looked odd. Apparently he couldnt pull 70 lbs back and he wanted less draw weight so he took some material off the outside of the limbs with a sander. wow. I offerend to show him how to back the limbs off with a wrench but i think he was too embarrassed and he promptly took his timebomb of a bow and left.


you have got to be kidding us on that one!!!!!!!!!!!


----------



## popeye77

ryan-b said:


> Im not nearly as concerned with the fact that they vote, as I am with the fact that they are in the woods with a weapon!!:behindsof



I hate that they can reproduce!!!!!!:mg:


----------



## apache pilot

evening bump. i know there are still a thousand stories yet to be told


----------



## k4zn4v3

I have one but its not really funny its sad. I have 3 shops locally that I can go to but my regualr shop is lancaster archery and Im in there a good bit between league and getting work done. There is a gentle that I have seen it the shop on many ocassions and I have been told he comes in everyday. Long story short, he is mentally ******ed and doesnt have the best higiene. He also wears diapers becuase he cant control him self and has urinated in the store at least once that I know of. Possible the worst part is that whenever he goes to the shop, he brings his 92 year old grandmother and leaves her in the car the entire time he is in the store. Please do not take this the wrong way I am in no way trying to make fun of the man, he didnt choose to be how he is.


----------



## StrutStopper

A couple years back I was at Wally World getting my archery tags. The guy at the sporting goods desk was making small talk with me. He said to me at least I was hunting with a bow, that takes more skill than gun hunting. He told me that his preferred method of hunting was even more challenging. He climbs a tree and waits for deer to walk by, then he throws knives at them. Of course, to make his odds better, he throws several knives at a time. Of course you wound some deer that way, but its all part of the sport... He swore that it was a legal way to take deer wherever the heck he was from. I wonder what kind of sage advice he would give to people that might not know any better and take this guys word for anything he may have told them.


----------



## badddwithabow

My story goes like this....

My wife showed an interest in bow hunting set her up a lil browning and she misses a 6 on film lol... hilarious... anyway fastforward a few months

I save my pennies and buy her an 07 gaurdian just like mine... got her all set up... top notch stuff i know she is shootin good so one day i'm like hey lets go shoot the techno hunt at the local shop.

WELLLLLL we go up there and i swear the game cheats for her and she out shoots me by 2 targets. I mean she wore me out, here i am with mine all decked out custom strings, carter release, 12 in stab lol all i could do was hang my head. Kinda like taking your wife out to your local watering hole and she drink you under the table. man alive those guys won't ever let me live it down.... 

And thus the real reason i switched to trad archery lol....


----------



## huskyarcher

One time a young Flor-idiot as we call them came in the store and bought a gun, he said him and his father had bought some land and he wanted to go deer hunting. Well we didnt think to much about it and one day in strolls that guy, full camo chest stuck out bragging, telling us all to come look at the deer he got on his land well we went out there and there laid a brown goat.:mg: 

He had shot his neighbors goat and didnt even know it. he honestly didnt know the difference. Still gut laugh over this one.


----------



## Just_Some_Guy

huskyarcher said:


> One time a young Flor-idiot as we call them came in the store and bought a gun, he said him and his father had bought some land and he wanted to go deer hunting. Well we didnt think to much about it and one day in strolls that guy, full camo chest stuck out bragging, telling us all to come look at the deer he got on his land well we went out there and there laid a brown goat.:mg:
> 
> He had shot his neighbors goat and didnt even know it. he honestly didnt know the difference. Still gut laugh over this one.


Mom has lost several goats to idiot hunters, but I think it was more out of spite than stupidity. 

A donkey or two has been lost due to idiots in the woods with firearms.


----------



## popestev

huskyarcher said:


> One time a young Flor-idiot as we call them came in the store and bought a gun, he said him and his father had bought some land and he wanted to go deer hunting. Well we didnt think to much about it and one day in strolls that guy, full camo chest stuck out bragging, telling us all to come look at the deer he got on his land well we went out there and there laid a brown goat.:mg:
> 
> He had shot his neighbors goat and didnt even know it. he honestly didnt know the difference. Still gut laugh over this one.


A goat is still cheaper than horses and mules. I think every year we have at least one shot by some who who could not tell the diff between an elk deer or horse.


----------



## joeprec

Unclegus said:


> maby not funny, but sad. I was visiting my favortie archery haunt telling the usual lies, when this lad comes in....Maby early twenties or so. He wants to know about the Mathews Black Max. The shop tech tells him he doesn't have one for him to look at because they don't keep them because they are so hard to shoot the Pros won't even fool with them. The kid asks" how long would it take you to get one for me?" I think the best thing I hear repeatedly is not asking what the price is but How fast is this one? or what's the fastest thing you got??????
> 
> How about the guy who has a deer on his father in law's farm with a rack so big that when it tries to drink, his hind feet come off the ground?


The Black Max while definitely not one of my favorite bows actually shoots very very well like most bows do made in the last 10 years. I think it is laughable when archers over emphasize the value of a supposed forgiving bow over a speed bow as the differences are not nearly as great as commonly believed mostly because alot of guys just talk about them instead of actually trying them out.


----------



## hawgdawg

Asked a guy how his season went last year. His classic answer was I killed a nice buck and looked for him 2 days and never found him. He knew he killed him cause he had a perfect shot on him.


----------



## OneArmArrowSlinger

huskyarcher said:


> One time a young Flor-idiot as we call them came in the store and bought a gun, he said him and his father had bought some land and he wanted to go deer hunting. Well we didnt think to much about it and one day in strolls that guy, full camo chest stuck out bragging, telling us all to come look at the deer he got on his land well we went out there and there laid a brown goat.:mg:
> 
> He had shot his neighbors goat and didnt even know it. he honestly didnt know the difference. Still gut laugh over this one.


That kind of stuff happens here a lot more than I'd like to think. It reminds me of a couple of stories actually.

First one was when we actually used to have to go check in our deer, sitting at the check station and a guy pops the trunk on his car an proceeds to pull out a tagged & field dressed coyote. We laughed a lot about that one.

Had seen a guy at the local Wally World getting broadheads, arrows, all the latest gizmo's & his tags. Buys all his stuff then turns around and says to the clerk, "Well I'm ready to go shoot a big one now but I was wondering, what exactly do these deer look like?" All me and my friend could do was shake our head and laugh. I just hope I don't cross his path in the woods.


----------



## Old E.

huskyarcher said:


> One time a young Flor-idiot as we call them came in the store


I've heard of these people.


----------



## huskyarcher

Lol now dont get me wrong, not all floridians are flor-idiots, just the ones who buy a summer home up here in the mountains and think they own everything within 200 miles of it. we have a ton of those around here


----------



## texasbowman

The first morning of bow seaon several years ago I accidentally broke my bow string by hitting it with a broadhead while getting ready in the stand. I know stupid mistake. But I went to the local pro shop to get a new string and the shop opened up at 7:00 so I was there at 7:20. Well as the tech was putting a new string on my bow we where just talking and he comes out and said that he was already tag out for the year. The funny thing is the season has only been open for a hour and he claimed he has already shot 5 deer that morning.


----------



## popestev

huskyarcher said:


> Lol now dont get me wrong, not all floridians are flor-idiots, just the ones who buy a summer home up here in the mountains and think they own everything within 200 miles of it. we have a ton of those around here


We see a lot of that around here. Stupid rich people buy a piece of ground and the next thing you know they think they deserve control over every thing around it.


----------



## DEERGUNNER

Several years ago I was at Walmart and overheard the conversation between a customer and the Sporting Goods clerk. The customer was looking to buy a rifle for hunting and was considering a .300 Win mag and a .308 and was wondering which would have less recoil. The clerk and the customer decided to order the .300 because it would recoil less than the .308 being that it is a smaller round. 
I never said a word...:zip:


----------



## 90 meter 120

i had a guy tell me a buck was storing accorns for the winter...he went on to tell me that he saw a buck pawing at the ground and that he must have been digging a hole to put acorns in for the winter..


----------



## 2005Ultramag

90 meter 120 said:


> i had a guy tell me a buck was storing accorns for the winter...he went on to tell me that he saw a buck pawing at the ground and that he must have been digging a hole to put acorns in for the winter..


I had a woman tell me that the deer were carrying apples from the local orchard onto her land, and piling them up there. I told her that kind of deer is a poacher, and she should get rid of them. she replied... "I figured you'd want to hut over the deer's apples! NO WAY!"

:chortle:


----------



## eyebrowcounter

Well, that was a good read,thanks...


----------



## LetLooseAUS

Just_Some_Guy said:


> Classic! Great response too.
> 
> 
> 
> .......Truth be told I should have said "That'll do just fine." That way he'd have only been in the woods with a BB gun and at most could have only put an eye out.


:behindsof Imagine him putting out the eye of a moody rutting buck LOL :elch::nyah:


----------



## Just_Some_Guy

LetLooseAUS said:


> :behindsof Imagine him putting out the eye of a moody rutting buck LOL :elch::nyah:


Yep, I'd almost like to see it. I'd settle for a video. :icon_joker:


----------



## LetLooseAUS

BQC123 said:


> Thanks! The bow shop isn't getting any more money to work on my bow. Maybe this should be posted in the DIY section!:wink:


c-mon fellahs, everyone knows the best way to compress a bow with a tractor is between the draw-bar and the hitch of a modern johnny dee :wink:


----------



## bigdawg1

*this may be the dumbest yet*

A friend of mine went to Jay's in Clare, Mi. and while there heard a guy say he had anew rifle w/ a light weight triangle barrel. You guessed it he actually asked if they carried traingle bullets. The guy that worked there couldn't control himself and just started laughing so did my buddy.


----------



## LetLooseAUS

How about the guy who has a deer on his father in law's farm with a rack so big that when it tries to drink, his hind feet come off the ground? ...
....How bout the guy who landed a chick at his fathers law firm that had a rack so big that when it drunk ..... Nevermind 

I was enjoying a quiet ale with a mate at the Nindigully Pub when a drover and his son [10ish.. we indoctrinate em young in the outback] came in. The bartender asked 'what have you been doing Johnny?' Johnny replies 'I've been helping dad kill wild sheep!'..... I had to excuse myself for spitting beer on the floor..

.. you might be a ******* if; You cant control your laughter and spray beer on the floor of a public bar... or your freezer is full of game meat like wild beef, wild sheep and wild pig....:darkbeer:


----------



## millerw289

I work in a hardware in Ohio that sells hunting and fishing licenses. I was typing one up for a young man (17 years old maybe) and asked him what color his eyes were and he went cross-eyed trying to look at them and said, "I don't know, I can't see em'." I almost couldn't finish the license.

You also wouldn't believe the number of Amish that don't know their birthdays or address. I always ask to see their driver's license and they look at me like I have ten heads. I start to laugh and then they realize I'm kidding. It's priceless.


----------



## millerw289

LetLooseAUS said:


> How about the guy who has a deer on his father in law's farm with a rack so big that when it tries to drink, his hind feet come off the ground? ...


I just spit my coffee. This is by far the funniest thing I've heard in a long time. I think I know that guy. LOL


----------



## wevans340

ttt


----------



## apache pilot

ttt


----------



## bdwhitetalhunt

henry jay said:


> im looking for a smooth drawing,shock free,fast and forgiving matthews!hahahahahahahahahahaha


i found it its called the Z7


----------



## ItecKid

Ttt


----------



## alkaline

revive the thread!


----------



## apache pilot

about time for a bump!


----------



## BowTechSoldier

Check this one out I heard about this awhile back!!

www.mtstandard.com/.../article_2643a90d-74ae-5cf5-a15d-b913540dae57.html


----------



## hammer21661

grfox said:


> I was at the local shop a couple of months ago and this guy comes in with this old leather bow case. He says "I have my bow here that I got at a little antique shop up in Maine. Ive been shooting at a local archery club, and they recommended I come here for some work on the bow. I want some new strings"- the guy doesnt hunt, just a hobby.
> 
> The shop owner and tech is extremely knowledgeable and has been in the business for 35 years. He pulls out the bow and says "wow, thats an oldy" The bow was at least 40 years old, it was a compound that looked at a fast glance like a recurve, (not sure of a brand). Any way the bow had cables instead of strings which is fine, except one of the cables must have broken years ago, and was now replaced with a "hardware store baught" section of aircraft cable, and was TIED IN A KNOT at the end rather than looped with a ferrel.
> 
> The owner proceeded to tell him that it was very unsafe to shoot and recommended him a very inexpensive complete package compound, (roughly 250 dollars) The guys looks at the bows and starts frowning and says something like " oh i dont know, maybe I will put it on my christmas list" Thats when I noticed he was wearing $250 loafers, short khaki shorts and an 80 dollar polo shirt. I walked outside and sure enough he was driving an 80,000 dollar Mercedes.
> 
> He wound up spending over 150 dollars on arrows, a new sight, a new string and a recurve case that didnt even fit his bow.....




He probably Had a sailboat too!


----------



## Stevem74

I am a manager at our local gander mountain and was working in the archery department (started as an archery tech) and had a kid come in looking for "one of those bows that fold up". Thinking that he meant a take down bow I showed him one of those. He says "no you just snap it forward to unfold it. Its a tactical bow" His buddy looks at me shakes his head and says "tell him where you saw that bow" so he looks at me and says "it was on the sci-fi channel, battlestar galalctaca had it on it". His buddy was so embarrased for him that he litterally dragged him out of the store.


----------



## apache pilot

final bump


----------



## CT...

Stevem74 said:


> I am a manager at our local gander mountain and was working in the archery department (started as an archery tech) and had a kid come in looking for "one of those bows that fold up". Thinking that he meant a take down bow I showed him one of those. He says "no you just snap it forward to unfold it. Its a tactical bow" His buddy looks at me shakes his head and says "tell him where you saw that bow" so he looks at me and says "it was on the sci-fi channel, battlestar galalctaca had it on it". His buddy was so embarrased for him that he litterally dragged him out of the store.


lol! if thats the case ill take one of them pistols you see in the movies that never runs out of ammo


----------



## grfox

To the top


----------



## wevans340

come on, somebody has to have more...:ranger:


----------



## catfishmafia76

bowtechsoldier said:


> check this one out i heard about this awhile back!!
> 
> www.mtstandard.com/.../article_2643a90d-74ae-5cf5-a15d-b913540dae57.html


:roflmao::roflmao::roflmao::roflmao::roflmao:


----------



## baldbear2009

I sell archery & guns in my shop---on the firearm transaction form one question is "state of residence" ? you would not believe the guys that look at me & ask "what is my state of residence?". They also have trouble with country of citizenship ???  Also have a few that call Mom to ask where they were born


----------



## BoneCllctrFreak

ttt keep it going this is FUNNY


----------



## junglerooster1

i took my bow to be tuned and have my string silencers replaced. they tuned it but wouldnt change my string silencers flat out refused to do it said the ones i had were fine.

ok wasnt a funny story kinda peed me off!


----------



## Jungleman

Oh yeah, we have a shop like THAT around here too

got sooooooooo tired of hearing "now why would you want to do that" I`ve learned how to do most everything myself


----------



## Nameless Hunter

Stevem74 said:


> I am a manager at our local gander mountain and was working in the archery department (started as an archery tech) and had a kid come in looking for "one of those bows that fold up". Thinking that he meant a take down bow I showed him one of those. He says "no you just snap it forward to unfold it. Its a tactical bow" His buddy looks at me shakes his head and says "tell him where you saw that bow" so he looks at me and says "it was on the sci-fi channel, battlestar galalctaca had it on it". His buddy was so embarrased for him that he litterally dragged him out of the store.


I've had people ask me if they could buy a laser pistol to start campfires ... just like they do on Star Trek (I used to design/build high wattage lasers). I'd tell 'em sure, just as soon as I invent a 10 KW power supply that will fit in your pocket. Cracks me up still.


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## neo71665

MOTU said:


> I've had people ask me if they could buy a laser pistol to start campfires ... just like they do on Star Trek (I used to design/build high wattage lasers). I'd tell 'em sure, just as soon as I invent a 10 KW power supply that will fit in your pocket. Cracks me up still.




Might not be legal but its possible to use a pocket laser to start a fire. Requires knowing what you are doing and its not gonna be instant but still possible.


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## Jungleman

Not at the shop,
But I did get a request to move my target setup at home once

Neighbor comes out of the trees and across the field on his side of the fence behind the target walkin towards us one day so we quit shooting and cross the field behind the target on my side and meet him at the fence to say howdy neighbor.

We chit chat for a bit and he asks if I wouldn`t mind settin up to shoot in a different direction, 
"hell" he says, he don`t mind us "sliver slingers". 
Matter of fact he hunts himself, with a rifle, packs in on horseback, his horses are just on the other side of yonder trees. 
"Where I found this"
he pulls my buddies arrow out of his back pocket 

you should have seen the look on my friends face 
priceless

turns out he had stopped by and shot a few days before while I was at work


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## bowaholic77

A couple years ago I had my cousins son (9 years old) get into shooting. After shooting pretty well (all things considering) he called me to tell me he was fully sponsered by Hoyt, said he had a new bow and everything. I called BS so he drove down to prove it to me. To his credit, he did have a new shiny Hoyt (purchased or not I will never know). I pulled my bow out and we started shooting together. While watching him shoot I noticed that the DL modules were adjusted incorrect. One was maxed out and the other adjusted to the minimum. He said "The Pro Shop set it up that way, said it shot better that way". I properly adjusted it for him and we shot the rest of the evening. He went back to the same shop the following day and.......you guessed it, they adjusted it back incorrectly and told him not to believe anything I said.

Now he wont believe anything I say. I guess because I dont work at a shop!


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## jkm97

One of my under-educated buddies went with me to a pro shop once because his string needed to be reserved. I nearly died when he told the tech his cervix needed replacing.


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## burdog

I was shooting one day by myself at a local 3D course when this guy decides he wants tag along and shoot with me. He was one of those guy's that just wouldn't shut up. I had a vane come off on one of the targets. I said I was tired of paying to have my arrows fletched and today I was going to buy a fletching jig and learn how to do it myself. He looks me dead in the eye and said "don't waste your money on a jig, I just hold them on with my hand until the glue dries. I ain't never had one come off yet".

I once told a buddy of mine that a couple of us were going ice fishing and I asked him if he wanted to go. He said yes and then said "it's easier to catch fish when there's ice on the water". I said "how's that?". He said "because they can't get out!" and looked at me like I was an idiot. A little off topic but pretty darn funny.


----------



## cat-fish

"Yeah bows are much lighter now since they quit making risers out of plutonium".[/QUOTE]


I think i just peed a little....


----------



## SARASR

I was in Bass pro looking at the new selection of bows and while talking to the kid on staff about the different bows I got the feeling he lacked experience so I asked him about his recommended style of tuning and quicky detailed that I paper tune but was thinking about doing walkback or broadhead tuning or a combination of each, when I finished he just had a blank look and said they recommend lining up with the berger hole and the string and you will be good. 
I did not buy a bow that day.


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## apache pilot

i wouldnt have either!


----------



## rthawker

:bump2:


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## apache pilot

thanks for all you guys who shared stories in this thread!:darkbeer: this thread lasted way way longer than i ever expected


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## wolf44

I was humoring myself in cabelas the other day and when one of the techs asked if I needed help, just out of curiosity I asked him what rest they carried was the best.
"Octane hostage, it really gets the arrows spinning, but its kind of hard on fletchings"


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## NV200

Was at the shop the other day and over heard a funny phone call to a tech. She answered the phone and sat there with a blank stare on her face until she said;"Sir you will need to bring that down for us to look at, I can't really help you over the phone". When she hung up she looked at me and the owner of the shop and said; "That guy needs a new string for his Single Cam Recurve?" 

Now I'm not that new to archery and I know there are some weird old bows out there but I've never heard of a singe cam recurve. We had a good laugh.


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## philhoney

Hi,
I love this thread. There must be thousands of stories out there so keep them coming.
Phil


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## beast

this is straight from a Wis game warden,they came across two guys that had shot a buck, but didn't know how to gut it. they had cut the head off and had it in a bear hug and jumping up and down tryiing to shake the guts out through the neck.


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## gun870guy

neo71665 said:


> Might not be legal but its possible to use a pocket laser to start a fire. Requires knowing what you are doing and its not gonna be instant but still possible.


It requires the LED out of a DVD burner, and a mini maglite


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## Double"O"

beast said:


> this is straight from a Wis game warden,they came across two guys that had shot a buck, but didn't know how to gut it. they had cut the head off and had it in a bear hug and jumping up and down tryiing to shake the guts out through the neck.


LOL

a gentlman brought a deer to my Uncles Butcher shop one december night that he did not field dress. When he drug the deer up to the skinning shed i told him just gut it over there and i'll take care of it

this dude made about a 4-5 incision and completely gutted the deer through that hole...esophagus and all!...i was impressed and then some...dude turned out to be the chief of surgery at a local hospital


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## tmfries

Buddy of mine was shooting with one of his friends at a local archery shop for a while and he was whining that his shoulder hurt cause his bow was set to 70# and he shot too much that day. So he pulled it back and was like, that ain't 70#. Put it on the hook.... 58#. He'll never live that one down.


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## hunting170

NV200 said:


> Now I'm not that new to archery and I know there are some weird old bows out there but I've never heard of a singe cam recurve. We had a good laugh.


He might have been talking about a Martin Dynabow


----------



## Caligater

beast said:


> this is straight from a Wis game warden,they came across two guys that had shot a buck, but didn't know how to gut it. they had cut the head off and had it in a bear hug and jumping up and down tryiing to shake the guts out through the neck.


This reminds me of a story of friend of my Dad's told us one night. We went to house to check out a buck he had killed in Missouri and was telling us that when he got to the check-in station, the guys working there were laughing like crazy. He asked if they'd let him in on what was so funny and they said a couple of guys had come in to check in the "deer" they killed. Too bad it wasn't a deer, it was a donkey (or mule, I can't remember).  They said the guys had gutted it and everything. They said they were in such shock and disbelief that they didn't even tell the guys what it was, they just let them remain super proud of their "trophy". 

I'd have liked to seen the look on butcher's face. :set1_rolf2:


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## FULLATTACK

I was shooting at an archery range one day with my buddies and we were watching these guys mess around. they were shooting arrows at the 100 yard target that they found at the end of the range that were broken or abandonded. obviously they weren't even coming close to hitting it but when the owner of the bow went to the bathroom his buddie picked up his bow. he pulled it back aimed as if there was an arrow in it and let it go. the string smacked his arm so hard the he let go of it and i landed ten yards in front of him:mg:. haha this kid had a bump the size of a baseball sticking out of his arm and hell to pay from his buddie lol


----------



## 117149

I'm a manager over the lodge at Dick's Sporting Goods and I have lots.

Guy asks me, "Where are your filters?" I respond "What kind?" He says, "You know, for your house furnace." I respond that "we don't carry those types of filters." Now mind you, this cat just walked under a massive sign (Dick's Sporting Goods), walks past football, baseball, camping and fishing to ask me this question in front of the gun wall containing 250 guns. After a 10 second delay he spins around and says, "Where in the hell am I? I thought this was Lowe's!"

Another guy, and I ***** you not, asks me, "Where are your exploding broadheads?" I'm thinking it's a joke and tell him that they only come in a package deal with the Rambo bow. It's no joke, guy gets pissy about me being a smartass.

And another, guy asks, "why don't you sell motorcycle helmets?" I say, "Because we don't sell motorcycles?" Thought that guy was gonna throw down right there!

I'm amazed still at how many people look down the barrels of firearms.


----------



## ks_kiwi

BigHarry said:


> And another, guy asks, "why don't you sell motorcycle helmets?" I say, "Because we don't sell motorcycles?" Thought that guy was gonna throw down right there!


lol - nothing says "idiot" quite like trying to start a fight because you got exposed as one :doh:
_Here's your sign_...


----------



## apache pilot

BigHarry said:


> I'm a manager over the lodge at Dick's Sporting Goods and I have lots.
> 
> Guy asks me, "Where are your filters?" I respond "What kind?" He says, "You know, for your house furnace." I respond that "we don't carry those types of filters." Now mind you, this cat just walked under a massive sign (Dick's Sporting Goods), walks past football, baseball, camping and fishing to ask me this question in front of the gun wall containing 250 guns. After a 10 second delay he spins around and says, "Where in the hell am I? I thought this was Lowe's!"
> 
> Another guy, and I ***** you not, asks me, "Where are your exploding broadheads?" I'm thinking it's a joke and tell him that they only come in a package deal with the Rambo bow. It's no joke, guy gets pissy about me being a smartass.
> 
> And another, guy asks, "why don't you sell motorcycle helmets?" I say, "Because we don't sell motorcycles?" Thought that guy was gonna throw down right there!
> 
> I'm amazed still at how many people look down the barrels of firearms.


that whole story was awesome. you have to have more!


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## wevans340

:icon_1_lol::bump2:


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## wevans340

This is the best thing I have ever read. Nobody is bashing anybody, being negative, and it gives me a laugh everytime I check up on it.


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## hoody123

My quick story - happened when I went to university. The university I was attending apparently had an archery club that ran in the school's gym (well the enormous physical complex anyway). I decided I'd tote a bow to school with me. I brought my Pearson Spoiler that was set at 79 lbs. 

I went to the archery club on the first night that I was able, and when I got there the "Leader and Instructor" of the club said that he'd have to inspect my bow for safety prior to my being able to shoot - apparently this included him drawing my bow. Suffice it to say I was reluctant to allow him to do this, but as this was a condition for my shooting there I agreed. He tried to draw the bow and doesn't move the string more than maybe an inch at most. 

He looks at me and in all seriousness and says "Can you turn the safety off for me so I can draw it please?". I wasn't sure at the time if he was kidding so I told him there was no safety. His response "Well there must be something wrong with it because it can't be drawn." By this time many of he other folks there had congregated around us, most there were shooting really basic 3 piece recurves (Great way to support/start archery, not downplaying that just indicating that most wouldn't have even a familiarity to compounds.) I said that I'd just draw it and he could watch and "Inspect". I sort of felt bad, I wasn't really trying to make him look silly, but he sure did a good job of it on his own.

After inspection he asked me "Does that have those new metal limbs I've heard about?" I say "Yep, it's made of a new alloy called Geranium " 

Rather unfortunately the butts they used at the school weren't really up to my bow, I placed two back to back but it still blew through and chipped the cinder-block wall :S (Beat up ten-test butts only maybe 5 or 6" thick).

Still cracks me up "Where's the safety..."


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## Chabrone

The guy "who knew what he was doing" and took half his thumb off with a Stryker and then made the shop pay for his medical bills.


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## Field Ready

This story is somwhat unrelated to the original topic, but funny so here goes.
I have a hunting buddy that is pretty skilled in the bowhunting area. He has taken lots of deer successfully in the time I've know him and we hunt together a bunch. However, he is one of those guys that always has something that is better than what you have and is always right no matter what (you know the type). But he's a good friend, so I know how to handle his antics.
A couple years ago, he told me that he made a good shot on a deer that made a clean pass through. Apparently it was just the kind of shot you would want to make. He waited after the shot to go retrieve his animal, but sadly, it was never found. It happens, I understand that. We've all seen it, done it, felt the pain of it. But my buddy couldn't just accept the idea of his shot not being perfect so he proceeded to tell me that he double lunged that deer and his broadhead was so sharp that when it passed through, the hole it made must've just closed back up. Also, since the hole in both lungs closed up behind the arrow, the deer was still alive.
I just nodded my head and agreed (because it wasn't worth the argument). I told him those must be some good broadheads and that I might try them out the following season. :darkbeer:
I was always under the impression that a hole in the lung is a hole in the lung. Guess not. :wink:
He still swears up and down to this day that his broadhead was way to sharp on that hunt.


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## wross1313

i currently work at gander mountain. and last year the day before bow open in wisconsin, I had a guy bring in his brand new pse x force to be set up. so i put on the sight and rest, d loop, and threw in his peep sight set his draw length at 27 got the poundage low enough for him 55. i then asked him what else i could do for him and he insisted that i "bore sight" his bow. 

i figured he might mean paper tune. so i said we would. but nope he needed me to bore sight his bow. After tellin him that i could not bore sight his bow and we did paper tune it. he then asked me what arrows he needs to shoot 330 fps so he can shoot 100 yards in a second.

dandys.......


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## wross1313

i forget my fav.

once in awhile i get stuck answering the phones at gander when cust. service is busy.

"thanks for calling gander mountain how may i direct your call"
"sporting goods please"
"MA'AM this is a sporting good store with seperate departments which one are you looking for"
"duh thats why i called you"

normally it ends up they get mad and wanna talk to the store manager becuase i wont direct her to the sporting goods department.


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## ItecKid

Ttt


----------



## KY-Z7

*best thread ever*

This thread gets my vote for one of the best ever.


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## 123 4/8 P&Y

*A Few More*

Here's a few from my days behind the Optics/GPS counter at Cabela's.

The people who come in to buy what is obviously their first pair of binoculars. When you hand them the binos they look at the wall 8 ft away behind the counter without focusing them and say "I like these". Let me translate, "These look cool and are in my price range."

The same type of people who are looking at optics and ask "How far can I see with these?" As if the binoculars/spotting scope are so good that they bend your vision around the curvature of the earth.

The people who come in to buy their first GPS who ask "Do they work in the mountains?" or "Do they have satellites in Canada?"

What I hated the most when I worked in the archery department was when guys would bring their whiny wives with them to buy a new bow. It was like a broken record, "Are you about done?", "Why is it so expensive?", "What's wrong with your old one?" Guys, do yourself a favor and give your wife the Visa and drop her off at the mall first.


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## apache pilot

feel free to submit any funny hunting story! like when your buddy forgets his hunting boots, and has to wear his dang crocs with no socks!! and kills a buck with his bow!!!! lol lee martin


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## philhoney

Hi,
Why stop at shops or hunting? Any funny stories will help cheer everyone up.
Phil


----------



## AZBowhunt

*repeat*

I think I posted this before, but one morning I went out with my son deer hunting. Got back and was going to go get some groceries. Well, I changed clothes, caught up with my son and were headed to town. Ran into my brother on the way out, who kind of gave me a funny look, but just kept going. Stopped at a small store and the guy asks if I saw anything. Since I was in regular clothes I couldn't figure out how he knew I'd been hunting.

Anyways, go to the store, stop for gas, all that stuff. Funny looks from people, but nothing out of the ordinary. Get back home, go to the bathroom to take a leak, happen to look in the mirror and I see a full camo-painted face staring back at me. My son got me good on that one. He never said a word or let on that I forgot to take my face paint off. I'm still waiting to get him back.


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## Trooper 08

I finally heard one the other day while I was at Lancaster Archery..........these two gentlemen were standing next to me as I was looking at the new bows and he looks at his buddy and goes, "Hey Jimbo, here is that new Hoyt Maximus" I looked over and he and his buddy are looking directly at the bow with the riser stamped with the word MAXXIS on it and thinking that maybe Jimbo would realize and say something I then laughed even harder when Jimbo says, "Yea that's a heck of a nice bow, Maximus huh....wish I had the money to get one of these things!" I had to walk away I was laughing so hard.


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## gbienvenu

This past hunting season, the weather was pretty nasty. It rained most of the Friday night with no end in sight. Well, Saturday morning; the guys are trying to decide whether or not to go out since we have a creek that crosses the entire property. My brother in law says there's a window of clear weather coming, so the guys decide to head out. Well, I'm laid up with a broken ankle, so I just hang out at the camp and after about a half hour the rain really starts coming down and doesn't let up. Most of the guys come back in from the woods and it's only an hour after sunrise.

One guy doesn't come back in and he's got his 14 year old son with him. Well, these guys usually stay out only a couple hours. 10 o'clock rolls around and passes. About noon, my cell rings and it's my idiot buddy who stayed out. He tells me that he can't even get within 200yds of the creek. That means about 12 feet of water in the creek. Well, now we have a problem. How the hell do you get 2 guys with all their gear across a creek that they can't even get to the bank of?

We tell my buddy to try to find a narrow spot and call us back. About an hour later he calls back and says he found a spot only about 40 feet across. Now it's up to us to figure out how to get him. We take a big ice chest and 100 feet of rope and it's time to play rescue the idiots. Did anyone know that a rushing creek can take a guy riding an ice chest for a bull ride when you pull it across a rushing creek? 

Finally we have 2 half drowned, cold guys at the camp trying to dry out and warm up. I get a call from my dad who was smart enough to stay home during the monsoon. He asks if anybody killed anything. I tell him "No, but we caught 2 clown fish in the creek."

Now, whenever it starts to drizzle, we ask my brother in law if there's "a window" or if we should head in.


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## deathfromabove7

This happened up in the backwoods of greenville, michigan. My brother and i were huntin on stateland. We were back at the truck after the morning hunt and this crazy hillbilly started talkin to us. We didn't have anything else to do and he was pretty entertaing, but stupid. He was tellin us he bought one of those 100 rd. packs of target loads at walmart and had been huntin all year with those, for deer. Then he started tellin us how he did spot and stalk. He pokes his head over a hill and if he see's a deer he starts runnin after it blazin away. He couldn't figure out why he hadn't killed anything yet. Me and my brother were bustin up laughin at him.


----------



## 20ftup

whitewolf1 said:


> Naw, it's a Mazda.


Nah Z7 is actually the cam system on 08 to present Pearson bows


----------



## CLB

AZBowhunt said:


> I think I posted this before, but one morning I went out with my son deer hunting. Got back and was going to go get some groceries. Well, I changed clothes, caught up with my son and were headed to town. Ran into my brother on the way out, who kind of gave me a funny look, but just kept going. Stopped at a small store and the guy asks if I saw anything. Since I was in regular clothes I couldn't figure out how he knew I'd been hunting.
> 
> Anyways, go to the store, stop for gas, all that stuff. Funny looks from people, but nothing out of the ordinary. Get back home, go to the bathroom to take a leak, happen to look in the mirror and I see a full camo-painted face staring back at me. My son got me good on that one. He never said a word or let on that I forgot to take my face paint off. I'm still waiting to get him back.


If I was your son I would have had a tough time keeping a straight face. Thats hilarious.


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## rabbidsquirrel

that funny


----------



## glock-cop

I went with my buddy to go check out bows with him and he grabs a brand new Drenalin starts to draw it and he gets it half way back and all of a sudden HE LETS GO!!!!:mg:
I thought it slipped out, and i asked him what happened, he said i let go of it, i was like ya i heard.
I asked him why did you let go of it? He said i wanted to hear how quiet it was.
and when he said that i was speechless.
The owner came over and was furious and we told him what happened. He pulled me aside and asked if my buddy was "slower". I died laughing.
He checked the bow over and it was all good thank god.
We get back to the truck and he goes "I wouldn't buy that bow, its way to loud" He was dead serious.

I told him if he ever tries that with one of my bows he is a dead man:set1_punch::dead::angry:


----------



## kdogmcg

apache pilot said:


> for they guy who got caught stealing broadheads by putting them in his pocket....good thing they werent rages or he would have lost his leg! lol:darkbeer:



It's like throwing an ax through your fruit basket.


----------



## philhoney

Hi,
Not archery, sea fishing but worth a read.
I was out with my brother in law and his 6 month old spaniel pup collecting soft crab for bait. Roughly in the middle of the area there was a pile of rocks 5ft high and 6ft accross. There were about a dozen people crowded around this outcrop so we wandered over to see what was happening. "There's a conger in there" was the reply to our question. Now conger eels can grow up to 8ft long and up to 200lb and have a vicious set of teeth to match their personality.
As my Bro in law was armed with a crab hook, a length of steel rod with a right angle bend on the end, he started poking in the holes and crevices. A few minutes later his pup came running up to him and just brushed his leg. I'm not kidding, he cleared the pile of rocks in one jump and hit the ground running and didn't stop until he was a good 50yds away. This happened about 30yrs ago but he still hasn't lived it down.
I've a few more funny fishing stories, let me know if you want to hear them.
Phil


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## fisherboy_01

we want to hear them


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## Brad H

philhoney said:


> Hi,
> Not archery, sea fishing but worth a read.
> I was out with my brother in law and his 6 month old spaniel pup collecting soft crab for bait. Roughly in the middle of the area there was a pile of rocks 5ft high and 6ft accross. There were about a dozen people crowded around this outcrop so we wandered over to see what was happening. "There's a conger in there" was the reply to our question. Now conger eels can grow up to 8ft long and up to 200lb and have a vicious set of teeth to match their personality.
> As my Bro in law was armed with a crab hook, a length of steel rod with a right angle bend on the end, he started poking in the holes and crevices. A few minutes later his pup came running up to him and just brushed his leg. I'm not kidding, he cleared the pile of rocks in one jump and hit the ground running and didn't stop until he was a good 50yds away. This happened about 30yrs ago but he still hasn't lived it down.
> I've a few more funny fishing stories, let me know if you want to hear them.
> Phil


Bring them on!!!!!!!!!


----------



## redwingsdude

We had a guy who used to come into the archery department every few weeks to check out the latest and greatest products to make his bow faster. This the type of guy who buys string leeches because he thinks it will make his bow shoot faster.  I believe his main bow is a Parker, probably about 5 or 6 years old. He shoots cat whiskers at the top and bottom, a d-loop with two brass nocks, a peep with tubing and a kisser to boot. He also feels the need to have a 20+ year old overdraw system to pick up some speed. He shoots this bow at 28 inches and 62 pounds. He told me he was down to about 380-390 fps, maxed out it apparently shoots over 400. 

This same guy ended up buying a Diamond Razor Edge for a brush bow for ground blind hunting. I let him know this was usually a youth or intermediate bow, but he liked the short ATA and he actually shot it pretty well. Anyway, he decides he doesn't like the containment rest that comes with the bow, no big deal, but the reason he doesn't want it because it will slow down his arrows too much. He ends up buying a QAD ultra rest to save 2-3 fps on a bow that maxes out at 290 fps, and cost him only $300.


I've had many people bring in older bows that wouldn't be worth the accessories they want to put on it. But one kid and his father brought in a (probably) 25 year old compound set at 29 inches. The kid had maybe a 26 inch draw but couldn't be dissuaded from picking up a new bow. I asked him to show me how he was shooting it, so he pulls it back with all four fingers and can't stop shaking. I ask him if its too heavy for him and he says "no" and then I realize he is holding the string about 2-3 inches away from the side of his face. I ask him how he normally anchors and he looks at me like I'm from another planet. The kid had one pin on the old-school metal brackets and was not using any anchor point, just looking at the pin on the target and releasing.

I've also had guys who didn't want to mess with their sights because they felt they were "dialed in." One guy even had the pin housing so low that his fletchings hit it leaving the bow, but he was still hitting the target and saw no need to change.


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## Just_Some_Guy

If it's not broken don't fix it?


----------



## philhoney

Brad H said:


> Bring them on!!!!!!!!!


Hi,
Same brother in law. I used to own an old sailing dingy where I had thrown away the mast and sails and bolted a small outboard motor to the stern with oars as a backup. My BinL asked if he could borrow the boat to take his wife for a spin around the bay. No problem as long as he put some gas in the tank. 
I picked my children up from school and took them for a walk along the seafront. 100 yds offshore was my boat with my BinL yanking at the starter cord. I could tell from the noise that there was a lack of fuel. I also have to say that the oars were chained and locked in place and he did not have the key.
A little point, this is in the Bristol Chanel in the UK which has the second highest tidal range in the world, 40ft as an average. The highest is the Bay of Fundy in Nova Scotia. The bay is very "flat" and you can wade out for a long way before you are out of your depth.
Anyway, we, along with at least 100 spectators watched him strip off to his Y fronts, stand on the gunnel, hold his nose and jump in intending to swim, towing the boat to its' moorings.
Can you imagine the laugh that went up when he landed in 6ins of water. His wife took her shoes off and towed the boat to its mooring bouy while he sulked in the little cabin. I don't know why but he never asked to borrow my boat after that.
Phil


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## Switchback29A1

The funniest one i have actually happend while hunting, and lucky for me...i was the culprit of stupidity on this one. My freshman year of college i somehow ended up not having classes until 11am during the 2nd week of november. So my best friends dad and i head over to the farm early one morning, he hops in a stand sitting on the field as i go looking for a new path we've cut to a stand in the bottom. After 2 attempts on finding the path, i come back out to the field and start over. I end up having to wait for first light to be able to get my bearings and figure out where i needed to be. Finally after about 30 minutes i stumble my way to my stand around 7:25, finally get all settled in kicking myself for being so stupid and not finding the path. So as i'm sitting there trying to calm down, my phone goes off on full volume...it was my best friends dad laughing at me asking me when i was gonna do my victory lap, telling me he watched the whole thing thru his binoculars. As i'm typing my reply mere seconds after the phone going off, i look over at 20 yards and there stands the biggest buck ive seen in the woods walking the same path i walked in. I turn to reach for my bow and it's not there...trying to save time i put my bow holder on the other side of the tree. I ended up getting busted trying to turn back around. For sure the most humiliating day in the woods for me.


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## apache pilot

bringing it back:slice:


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## PSE Kid

man, these are great.

keep them up


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## skynight

BigHarry said:


> I'm amazed still at how many people look down the barrels of firearms.


I look down the barrel of firearms. Before I buy a used gun, to check the barrel for pits/damage/condition of lands & grooves. Also after I clean them. I will look from the breech if possible, if not from the muzzle using a bore light or patch reflector. I don't see much purpose for it on a new gun, but I have bought new guns that had crappy tool marks in the grooves. Might have picked a better specimen with a little inspection.

Of course, all that presupposes a triple-checked unloaded and/or disassembled gun.


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## mattjroth

lol because ive always wondered why there arrow holes in the drop ceiling at my local shop lol good story


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## apache pilot

:darkbeer:


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## philhoney

Hi,
Another fishing story.
When my son was about 5yrs old I took him on his first all night fishing trip in my old 17ft clinker built fishing boat. My daughter, who was 8 at the time stayed with her grandparents. (My wife had died from cancer a couple of years earlier)
We left the moorings about 7pm on Saturday evening and anchored up about a mile offshore. It was a spring tide where the sea went out a long way and about 4 o clock in the morning there was only 6ft of water under the boat but the fish started biting. Between us we landed 16 codling within an hour, all about 3lb in weight which were perfect for eating. This was the middle of summer so was very unusual to catch a winter fish.
By 5am things had gone quiet so we got our heads down for a couple of hours. We woke about 8am and carried on fishing without much luck and headed back to the moorings on the last of the tide. By the time we had tidied everythig away we were able to walk ashore and a bonus, the pub opposite the slipway had just opened. A couple of pints for me and a coke for my son and a codling for the landlord and we headed for home. I collected my daughter from my inlaws and gave them several fish for them and their neighbours. By the time we got home we had 8 fish left which was far too much for the three of us so my kids took some to our neighbours leaving us with 3 nice codling. 
I tipped the fish in the kitchen sink and covered them with cold water, made myself a cup of tea and settled back in my armchair with a smoke.
My son went straight to bed as he was shattered and I dropped off in the chair. My daughter got on with her school homework.
A few hours later my daughter woke me up, "Dad, I've tried cleaning the fish but they've gone all funny. Not only had she used very hot water from the tap (faucet) but she had used washing up liquid as well. The sink was full of half boiled fish complete with heads and guts and there was a layer of soapy bubbles over everything.
What could I do? Nothing to show for a long night but my daughter had only been trying to help. I put it down to experience.
Phil


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## ItecKid

Ttt


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## apache pilot

:thumbs_up


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## herTHINGarchery

camohunter24736 said:


> Working as a tech and a guy comes in and needs some hunting arrows and broad heads. I ask him what he is shooting now. He says I got a few hunting arrows left but no more broad heads. So I ask what size arrows? He says there hunting size. Then I tell him it would be better if he just brought the arrows in because arrows are arrows and there is really no difference in hunting or practice arrows. The word "practice" some how is a different language for this guy. On to broad heads. I ask what grain are your current practice tips, in order to match them to the broadhead. He says what do you mean. I say well your broad heads should be the same weight as your broadheads. He is 100% lost. Within the next 10 minutes of conversation I find out the guy has been hunting for 7 years and has never hit a thing. He didn't know he had to practice or sight anything in. He bought a bow put on a rest and a sight and bought some arrows with some broadheads and went and shot them at deer in the woods. He just put the pin on the deer and let er fly.



Hate to say it.....but alot of old school guys didnt know much about all bow technology and gear...but you could give them a sight with one pin...and a set of arrows with some broadheads and they could kill a deer. Im not really sure how....I like having all the latest and greatest on my bow....guess it makes me feel like i have some sort of an advantage....but in the end if im up against any old bow hunter from my area i really prolly the under dog.


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## bj99robinson

After a sucessfull morning hunt we loaded up in the truck and head to town to get some lunch. We pull into the front of burger king and park the truck. As we're walking in with all our camo on this lady sitting at the big window just freezes up in mid bite of her sandwich. She stares at the truck and drops her sandwich right from her mouth. How we parked she was looking right at a freshly gutted deer on the cargo cart. She was totally discusted and aparrently lost her appetite. When we walked in she left. It was the funniest thing my dad,me & my brother in law crack up about it to this day.


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## Michael Myers

I think I posted this before, but one morning I went out with my son deer hunting. Got back and was going to go get some groceries. Well, I changed clothes, caught up with my son and were headed to town. Ran into my brother on the way out, who kind of gave me a funny look, but just kept going. Stopped at a small store and the guy asks if I saw anything. Since I was in regular clothes I couldn't figure out how he knew I'd been hunting.

Anyways, go to the store, stop for gas, all that stuff. Funny looks from people, but nothing out of the ordinary. Get back home, go to the bathroom to take a leak, happen to look in the mirror and I see a full camo-painted face staring back at me. My son got me good on that one. He never said a word or let on that I forgot to take my face paint off. I'm still waiting to get him back.
Reply With Quote That Has to be the Funniest thing i have ever heard!!Something my Dad would do!!


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## Michael Myers

GrizzlyMan1980 said:


> I think I posted this before, but one morning I went out with my son deer hunting. Got back and was going to go get some groceries. Well, I changed clothes, caught up with my son and were headed to town. Ran into my brother on the way out, who kind of gave me a funny look, but just kept going. Stopped at a small store and the guy asks if I saw anything. Since I was in regular clothes I couldn't figure out how he knew I'd been hunting.
> 
> Anyways, go to the store, stop for gas, all that stuff. Funny looks from people, but nothing out of the ordinary. Get back home, go to the bathroom to take a leak, happen to look in the mirror and I see a full camo-painted face staring back at me. My son got me good on that one. He never said a word or let on that I forgot to take my face paint off. I'm still waiting to get him back.
> Reply With Quote That Has to be the Funniest thing i have ever heard!!Something my Dad would do!!


Boy did i screw that up,Not trying to steal the idea,Just not sure how to get it to turn blue!!!


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## philhoney

Hi,
Fish again. When I was a teenager still in school I, and a few of my mates, used to earn pocket money by setting groundlines in the estuary about a mile from where we lived. These lines had between 100 and 200 hooks each and when the tide was right we would all go out after school and dig enough lugworms to bait them twice. We would load the hooks and head for home until about 4am when the tide was going back out and collect any caught fish, rebait them and get home in time for breakfast before school. After school it was back to the sands once more for a final check. Once a week was about all we could manage.
One thusday evening the tide was perfect so the boys were out in force, there must have been 8 or 9 of us digging and baiting up.
The following morning I was up before the sun and on my pushbike for the mile ride along the marsh road where I met most of my mates. A half mile walk over the drying sand and we reached our special place as the sun was just starting to show. It was a beautiful morning but there was one BIG drawback. There was one small flounder on my groundline. One of the boys had two small fish with the rest of the lines coming up blank. One of the lines had disappeared completely. What a waste of time. We all started walking back to the road when we heard a shout coming from our right. There was a guy there waving his arms for us to come over and as we got nearer we could see that it was my mates' uncle. Now he makes a living by setting stop nets and selling his catch around the local villages. This particular net was 3ft high and about 100yds long with a trap at each end. The net was FUll of fish, there were thousands of them, plaice, dabs, flounder, turbot, bass, mullet, you name it, it was there. He had filled his three sacks with big fish and told us that if we helped him throw the unwanted fish back into the river which ran along side his nets and was still full of seawater we could help ourselves to as much fish as we wanted. They were all still alive and it was a big rush to get them back in the water before they died. All the boys carried big hessian sacks, just in case, but this was the first time they had come to anywhere near full. We took our choice of the prime fish while we threw the smaller ones back. Two hours later the job was done and we all felt a sense of achievment. Bulging sacks of fish and thousands more saved for the future.
Now for the crunch. My mates uncle had gone home on his horse and cart and by now it was too late for school. As we were pushing the fully loaded bikes the long road home we divided up the local villages between us, I'll do this half of this one, you do the other half, you two share the next village etc. Home, a bo££ocking from my mother for being so late, a quick cup of tea and then out with a large wicker basket full of fish balanced on my bike I started selling the fish. I refilled that basket four times but by dinner time I was finished and, so they told me later, so had my mates.
Home for dinner, fried fish in batter of course, and as I was tucking in there was a knock on the door. My mother opened the door. It was my mates uncle with a basket of fish over his arm. My mother, an occasional customer of his, told him that I had been out fishing and she didn't need any.
"I CAN'T UNDERSTAND IT" he said, "I'VE JUST HAD MY BEST CATCH EVER BUT I CAN'T SELL A FISH TO SAVE MY LIFE"
Of course the story came out later and until the day he died he swore every time he saw any of us. I wasn't too worried, I had made more money that morning than my father made in a whole week:angel:
Phil


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## wildturkeync

up, keep it going


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## 22WVBOWHUNTER

I went to the local bowshop down where im from and a kid was boasting aroung bragging about the 129 6/8 buck he had killed the night before on his farm and it just so happened that our game warden was in there at the time and the kid said i shot it with my bow and he said I took my rifle incase I seen a doe and my bow incase I seen a buck and the game warden took his license and wrote a ticket right there lol


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## Jackthecat

Ttt!


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## thor94

heard a guy walk up to the counter, and ask for a whisper bisquit....didnt say a word


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## HuntWhenever

Just got back from the shop. Wife had some new strings put on the bow, so we were there picking up her bow and chatting with the bow tech. Got talking about bow season coming up, and people buying bows last minute. He said "Crossbows are the worst. Had a guy come in one year and buy a crossbow. He asked me 'how far are the sights in?'. I asked him what he meant. He said 'I need to know how close the sights are in, I'm going hunting tonight'". 

LOL, he didn't know how to reply to that. We all got a good laugh about it, then we all stopped laughing when we started thinking about it. :doh:


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## Jackthecat

Don't let it die!! TTT!


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## protector1616

huskyarcher said:


> Lol now dont get me wrong, not all floridians are flor-idiots, just the ones who buy a summer home up here in the mountains and think they own everything within 200 miles of it. we have a ton of those around here


I hear ya there!!! I worked LE down there for almost 20 years and just had to shake my head some times..... glad to be back up in Pa...ofcourse, we have our share of them here as well! :wink:

great post guys, keep em coming!!!!


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## Jungleman

So I`m out duck hunting and nothing is really flying so I get bored and decide I`m going to do some jump shooting and try to stir some up for my brother. It`s goin pretty good up to the point I flush a duck and when I shoot the shot sounds a little off.

Kind of a poof instead of a boom.

Well I can`t stop myself and about the time I`m squeezing off the second round my mind is screaming what my eyes saw 

ONLY THE BB`S CAME OUT THE BARREL THE WAD IS STILL IN THERE!

I touch it off and this time there is a hellacious Boom and I`m standing there with a blown up gun!

























But that`s not the best part!
I somehow knocked the duck down and he was out there swimming so I hitched up the waders and took the barrel off the gun and started chasing it.
I was trying to grab it with my new duck grappling hook but everytime I got close it would dive. So I`m cursing and splashing and stabbing at the water trying to hook Daffy and finally I notice two guys standing about 100 yards away watching the whole show. 

They`re like "Hey are you ok?"
Nothing to see here folks, just a crazy man chasing a duck with a blown up barrel. I`m sure you`ve seen this on Looney Tunes when you were a kid.


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## beast

Jungleman said:


> So I`m out duck hunting and nothing is really flying so I get bored and decide I`m going to do some jump shooting and try to stir some up for my brother. It`s goin pretty good up to the point I flush a duck and when I shoot the shot sounds a little off.
> 
> Kind of a poof instead of a boom.
> 
> Well I can`t stop myself and about the time I`m squeezing off the second round my mind is screaming what my eyes saw
> 
> ONLY THE BB`S CAME OUT THE BARREL THE WAD IS STILL IN THERE!
> 
> I touch it off and this time there is a hellacious Boom and I`m standing there with a blown up gun!
> 
> View attachment 832100
> 
> 
> View attachment 832101
> 
> 
> View attachment 832102
> 
> 
> But that`s not the best part!
> I somehow knocked the duck down and he was out there swimming so I hitched up the waders and took the barrel off the gun and started chasing it.
> I was trying to grab it with my new duck grappling hook but everytime I got close it would dive. So I`m cursing and splashing and stabbing at the water trying to hook Daffy and finally I notice two guys standing about 100 yards away watching the whole show.
> 
> They`re like "Hey are you ok?"
> Nothing to see here folks, just a crazy man chasing a duck with a blown up barrel. I`m sure you`ve seen this on Looney Tunes when you were a kid.


i seen one similar, the guy has cut the barrel off with a pipe cutter and failed to debur the inside of the barrel, as soon as he shot a 12ga. slug through it it split and folded back like a cartoon gun when bugs stuck his finger in the barrel.


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## Jungleman

beast said:


> the guy has cut the barrel off with a pipe cutter


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## Jeffress77

When we were in high school, before our drivers' licenses, our moms/dads would have to drive us to our hunting spots..and I remember one day my buddy and I suited up and got in his mom's car and we drove all the way to the driveway where we were going get out and go to our stands which were pretty close to the next county and he realizes he didn't bring his bow......


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## deerhunter101

3children said:


> A guy calls on the phone to ask if I would have a set of strings for his bow! He said they broke when he took the first shot at home. I asked if he had dry fired the bow, "no, I wet the bow first"!
> While working at a gun shop, had a woman come in and asked for some blanks for target pratice! I also had a lady come in and bought a .25 "saturday nite special". I asked what was she planning on doing with it, for I teach pistol shooting. She said she had plans to go to the archery range and shoot one of the moose and blame it on one of those bow guys. I called the F&G and she followed through with what she said she would do. This was in Alaska. By the way she did jail time!!!


 hahahahahaha :lol3:


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## Jackthecat

One guy I know said that anybody can shoot a Mathews accurately to 100 yards. Same guy also told me that his 'Bowtech Diamond' shoots 300 fps at #50. We also got into the big carbon-alum arrow debate, and he said that he does not like alums "Because they drop". "Yeah, most arrows will do that", I said. He is a good guy though.


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## RCValley

Hoytbowman1 said:


> A guy I work with just bought the brand new(at that time) Hoyt Trykon. I asked him how it was shooting and how the bow felt.
> He said...
> "It is great right now, but I still haven't put my vibrator on it yet. When I do, I think I will fall in love with the way it feels." :mg:
> He said this in front of 3 other people and after we all stopped laughing I asked him (amoung many other questions) if he thought the bow would shoot better with a vibrator or with a stabilizer...lol...he still catches hell about it to this day....lol...


That make me laugh.:laugh:


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## RCValley

Usingmyrights said:


> The Razors Edge is also the only dual cam bow in their adult line up. It'd actually, be more of an adolescent bow. They're (Diamond) is marketed as basically being a single cam bowtech


I do believe they made a dual cam Victory and also the Liberty Dually. Not trying to be a stickler.


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## Jackthecat

I know a guy who just bought a Hoyt as his first bow and was shooting it while gripping the bridge of the TEC riser. He said that the DL was too short.


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## Jackthecat

My dad has a tendency to call bow limbs 'trees'. Got some looks at the bow shop.


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## Jackthecat

My dad also thought that shooting a compound horizontally was exactly like a crossbow. He also asked me if I wanted an 'Alpine crossbow'. Turns out Alpine does not make crossbows.


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## neo71665

beast said:


> i seen one similar, the guy has cut the barrel off with a pipe cutter and failed to debur the inside of the barrel, as soon as he shot a 12ga. slug through it it split and folded back like a cartoon gun when bugs stuck his finger in the barrel.



Got a spare parts shotgun for mine from a guy doing the same exact thing.


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## lc12

Jungleman said:


> So I`m out duck hunting and nothing is really flying so I get bored and decide I`m going to do some jump shooting and try to stir some up for my brother. It`s goin pretty good up to the point I flush a duck and when I shoot the shot sounds a little off.
> 
> Kind of a poof instead of a boom.
> 
> Well I can`t stop myself and about the time I`m squeezing off the second round my mind is screaming what my eyes saw
> 
> ONLY THE BB`S CAME OUT THE BARREL THE WAD IS STILL IN THERE!
> 
> I touch it off and this time there is a hellacious Boom and I`m standing there with a blown up gun!
> 
> View attachment 832100
> 
> 
> View attachment 832101
> 
> 
> View attachment 832102
> 
> 
> But that`s not the best part!
> I somehow knocked the duck down and he was out there swimming so I hitched up the waders and took the barrel off the gun and started chasing it.
> I was trying to grab it with my new duck grappling hook but everytime I got close it would dive. So I`m cursing and splashing and stabbing at the water trying to hook Daffy and finally I notice two guys standing about 100 yards away watching the whole show.
> 
> They`re like "Hey are you ok?"
> Nothing to see here folks, just a crazy man chasing a duck with a blown up barrel. I`m sure you`ve seen this on Looney Tunes when you were a kid.


Been there, done that! EXACT SAME THING!
We were into a heck of a Gadwall shoot with ducks coming in like crazy!
I swung on the first duck, pulled the trigger, and "pop", not BOOM.
I jacked a second shell, pulled the trigger and *BOOM*, with a lot of fire out of my barrel. Duck is still flying and I jack a third shell when my buddy yells "you got a tree limb hanging on your barrel!" Since I could not see my front bead I brought my shotgun down and looked, and to my disbelief I had blown my barrel apart, like yours!
Apparently the first load (steel shot of course!) that popped was due to the steel shot having got wet and rusted into a "SLUG".
The shot column went only partially down the barrel and in the excitement of the hunt, I shot a second time blowing the barrel apart. And I even was going to fire a third shot had my buddy not yelled at me!!!
Went straight to the nearest Wally World and bought another shotgun to finish the weekend duck hunt!
Luckily no one was hurt, and the manufacturer replaced my barrel.
What a weekend!!!
I know this was suppose to be a "funny things heard in the bow shop" thread, but after seeing the above story I had to chime in!
Sorry about hijacking the thread, but just to funny not to share!!!


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## FLGobstopper

onescrewloose said:


> ohhhh, and the dude that took a 60# browning bantam and some 2316s and 30# stren and tried to pull a tooth!!!!!!!!!! Arrow made it about 15ft, and came back backwards and bounced off his stomach. While he was rolling on the ground in pain, i gave the stren a good yank:wink: His wife was soooo mad, i got the the line before she did!!!!:roflmao:


This one takes the cake!!!!


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## StrutStopper

I almost forgot about this one. I was at the rifle range shooting my inline black powder rifle. I was shooting 90 grains of loose powder 777 with 240 grain sabot slugs. I decided to give some 300 grain slugs a try with the same powder charge. I had just loaded the powder and was ramming the sabot down the barrel when someone walked over and started a conversation. We chatted for a few minutes and then I sat at the bench to take my shot. BAM! I knew that 300 grains would kick a little more than 240 but that was ridiculous. I caught a bad case of scope eye too. After the shot, I went to reload and wondered where my ram rod was... Yup. I launched it down range. I was so busy shooting the sh.. I forgot to take it out of the barrel. I was lucky that the stainless barrel was fine. That ram rod was nowhere to be found though.


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## 3Dmaniac

Had a guy tell me about how he couldnt get his bow sighed in...he was using the bottom pin as his 20 yd pin and the first pin as his 40 yrd pin...figure that one out?


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## Twitch

StrutStopper said:


> I almost forgot about this one. I was at the rifle range shooting my inline black powder rifle. I was shooting 90 grains of loose powder 777 with 240 grain sabot slugs. I decided to give some 300 grain slugs a try with the same powder charge. I had just loaded the powder and was ramming the sabot down the barrel when someone walked over and started a conversation. We chatted for a few minutes and then I sat at the bench to take my shot. BAM! I knew that 300 grains would kick a little more than 240 but that was ridiculous. I caught a bad case of scope eye too. After the shot, I went to reload and wondered where my ram rod was... Yup. I launched it down range. I was so busy shooting the sh.. I forgot to take it out of the barrel. I was lucky that the stainless barrel was fine. That ram rod was nowhere to be found though.


I had a friend do the same thing, it sounded like a cannon going off.


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## apache pilot

:slice::slice: LUNCH BUMP


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## HuntWhenever

Jackthecat said:


> I know a guy who just bought a Hoyt as his first bow and was shooting it while gripping the bridge of the TEC riser. He said that the DL was too short.


That's freakin hilarious 



3Dmaniac said:


> Had a guy tell me about how he couldnt get his bow sighed in...he was using the bottom pin as his 20 yd pin and the first pin as his 40 yrd pin...figure that one out?


too funny :rofl:


Went to BPS over the weekend. I'm not in big shops like that very often, and I'm not in city that often either. Couldn't believe all the people I seen picking up bows and pulling them untill the zip-ties wouldn't allow it to pulled any more. :mg:


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## KY-Z7

bump - more please!!


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## ItecKid

Ttt, I think the shotgun stories have scarred me for life, as I just bought my first shotgun last week...


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## postsngoats

*fishin story*

Friend of mine is out runin some limb lines on a small river. He happened to run in to an old school mate of his that morning and the guy tags along with him to run his lines. The old school mate has spent the past 20 years "drinking" to much and is a fairly sorry looking sort of a guy but my friend feels sorry for him and out of respect for the past friendship allows him to tag along. The guy is 40 years old and looks 60, all wringled up and skinny unshaved but they are going fishing so who cares? So they are runnin the lines and they are having a swell time, catchin a few fish and this guy starts giving my buddy some playfull static about how he is fishin and my buddy goes along with it. After a while my buddy is cuttin some bait with his prized hunting knife and he tells the drunk that if he doesn't shut up he is gonna stick him with the knife he is holdin. As he is makin this threat he throws his knife at the board he was cutin bait on intending for it to stick in the board. Well the knife hits butt first and bounces over the side of the boat and into the river. It was funny up to now but this is my buds favorite knife that he has had for years. He looks at the river and decides he can recover the prized knife, so he strips down to his undershorts and into the river he goes, finds the knife, back in the boat he goes and the little drunk is givin him the bussiness the whole time. At this time my bud isn't payin to much attention to him, he is just happy to have his knife back. So he is bent over puttin his jeans back on with his backside facing the drunk, when a couple of other guys round the bend in the river in a caunoe, the drunk jumps to his feet, drops his jeans to his ankles and yells "have you had enough or you want some more?". Needless to say this story made it around our small town quickly and my buddy gets lots of invations to go "fishin".


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## mattjroth

oh thats messed up I woulda threw that drunk in and took off


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## 123 4/8 P&Y

postsngoats said:


> Friend of mine is out runin some limb lines on a small river. He happened to run in to an old school mate of his that morning and the guy tags along with him to run his lines. The old school mate has spent the past 20 years "drinking" to much and is a fairly sorry looking sort of a guy but my friend feels sorry for him and out of respect for the past friendship allows him to tag along. The guy is 40 years old and looks 60, all wringled up and skinny unshaved but they are going fishing so who cares? So they are runnin the lines and they are having a swell time, catchin a few fish and this guy starts giving my buddy some playfull static about how he is fishin and my buddy goes along with it. After a while my buddy is cuttin some bait with his prized hunting knife and he tells the drunk that if he doesn't shut up he is gonna stick him with the knife he is holdin. As he is makin this threat he throws his knife at the board he was cutin bait on intending for it to stick in the board. Well the knife hits butt first and bounces over the side of the boat and into the river. It was funny up to now but this is my buds favorite knife that he has had for years. He looks at the river and decides he can recover the prized knife, so he strips down to his undershorts and into the river he goes, finds the knife, back in the boat he goes and the little drunk is givin him the bussiness the whole time. At this time my bud isn't payin to much attention to him, he is just happy to have his knife back. So he is bent over puttin his jeans back on with his backside facing the drunk, when a couple of other guys round the bend in the river in a caunoe, the drunk jumps to his feet, drops his jeans to his ankles and yells "have you had enough or you want some more?". Needless to say this story made it around our small town quickly and my buddy gets lots of invations to go "fishin".


Ha! :set1_rolf2: I did that to my buddy one time in front of a 35mm trail camera. It was actually my camera so I was tagging along with him to show him how to take the film out without exposing it. When we walked in front of the camera I dropped my drawers (to my boxers, not my birthday suit). Click! Perfect timing. He never showed me or anyone the picture so it must have been pretty funny. I bet the guys at the photo lab at Wally World had a good chuckle.


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## Usingmyrights

You guys ragging on FL, need to understand that most of the people who seem to be intellecually challenged when it comes to commonsense are yankee transplants


----------



## FULLATTACK

these guys came into the shop telling everybody how great of 3D shooters they are and how they are going to kill a big deer in the first week that the season opens. just the way they talked made me think that they were full of ****. then they asked to buy some arrows, broadheads, deer calls, and some doe urine hahahahaha . I kept my cool (but i was dying laughing on the inside) and one of the other guys in the shop showed them the stuff and rand them up. after they left we all started cracking up asking each other they do realize it is the fall season right? ...and they are not in rut yet? haha i thought it was hilarious, i would have told them if they weren't so cocky and lying to all of us.


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## BLan

When overdraws first began to be popular, somewhere @ 1990, had an older guy at an outdoor 3D tournament come to the practice line and say that he was going to get rid of his new overdraw, he said "it didn't make a bit of difference." Then he pulled out his regular sized 30" arrow, knocked it up and shot. I didn't have the heart to tell him that he needed to acquire new shorter arrows.


----------



## deerhunter101

my good hunting buddy and i have a mutual friend that is just getting into hunting. he bought a bow and we helped him pick out some stuff. a month or so later we went to an outdoor 3d range to shoot like we do every wednesday but this time we brought our friend along to see how he was progressing with the bow. well after he shot the foot of the 3d target and lost an arrow we asked him if he had gotten his sight sighted in yet... he asked "what sight?" so we pointed to the 3 pin tru glo that came with his bow. he then replied "oh thats what that is... you mean it doesnt come sighted in?" we explained the whole process to him and said we could help him do it. i dont mean to bash the guy but it was hard to keep a straight face after that conversation! the sad thing was he was planning to hunt with us at the farm this fall and he couldnt make a 15 yard kill shot!


----------



## wstribrny

Was at sportsmans warehouse up in AK and went to see the bowtechs.. I asked the guy.. so where are all the destroyers.. he replies... "Oh...they only send us their ****ty bows up here" we both got a good laugh....


----------



## apache pilot

great stories:beer:


----------



## bozo300

Liv4Rut said:


> One day I was at the shop shooting by myself and this guy came in and set up shop next to me. We made light conversation and then he looked at my release and said, "Oh, your one of those cheaters that uses a release eh?". I just kind of laughed and said yeah I tried the fingers thing and it didn't fly so well.
> 
> He then said that he believed in traditional archery and that fingers is the only way to go. I kind of chuckled and thought to myself this dude is shooting a Mathews switchback, he is definitely a die hard traditional man.
> 
> What happened over the next few minutes I still break out in laughter every time I think of it. I am on one side of the lane shooting and he is over there throwing arrows absolutely everywhere. I keep hearing him muttering and cursing under his breath. I was trying to keep from laughing so I wasn't paying any attention to him or watching him shoot until I heard, "F&^%^%^ A!!! When I look over he is holding and twitching his nose with his hand. I asked him what is wrong. He said he kept hitting his nose with his hand every time he shot.
> 
> I told him to shoot once. I could not believe it when he pulled back by grasping the string the wrong way to where he had his thumb pointing down instead of up where you reach around the string and pull back normally. He was settling in with his knuckles against his nose and every time he shot it would release so wildly it would smuck him in his nose. He would shoot all over the place.
> 
> He looked at me and said, how do I keep from hitting my nose? I looked him dead in the eye and said, that is exactly why I shoot a release. I got tired of smacking my nose every time I shot with fingers. He said no shi%!!! I am going to buy one and walked up to the shop owner and said I need a release so that I don't hit my nose anymore when shooting fingers.
> 
> The shop owner was confused and I couldn't get out of that place fast enough I was laughing so hard!!! I am laughing right now thinking of it!!


I think I just Pee'd myself!!!!!!!


----------



## Double"O"

had a good last night at work


this guy brought me a bow (Golden Eagle) circa 1995 that had a release caught between the sting and the cam! How is that even possible i thought

then he told me he was drawing it back with the release wrapped around the sting


----------



## lucky buck

Ttt


----------



## protector1616

Usingmyrights said:


> You guys ragging on FL, need to understand that most of the people who seem to be intellecually challenged when it comes to commonsense are yankee transplants


u had to go there!!!  I was trying to forget that part of the job! True though, while I was down there I ran into more "yankees" than I do being back here in Pa! LOL :tongue:


----------



## catfishmafia76

seems like this time of year there should be 15 new posts in this one every day... come on guys post'em if you got'em.TTT


----------



## Rford

*Not A Bow Story*

This one's on me...I never had one before and I bought a single trigger double barrel SKB shotgun for my son and I thought you had to shoot the first barrel and then manually push the barrel selector button in order to shoot the second barrel. That button was hard to push and you could never get the second shot off on a bird so I took it to the gunsmith to have it worked over and told him my problem. He cocked the gun, pulled the trigger... "click"... slammed the butt down on the counter, and pulled the trigger a second time and "click" it went. Obviously, single trigger doubles use the recoil to set the second barrel. Boy, did I feel dumb when he said "no charge."


----------



## Double"O"

^^^ lol

i am guilty as charged on the very same thing

hence why i have 2 semi autos lol


----------



## Jackthecat

ttt


----------



## ItecKid

Ttt


----------



## apache pilot

tttttttttttttttttttt


----------



## skwiggsgonewild

Ttt


----------



## ItecKid

Ttt...hunting season is getting close; this is when all the whackos will be in the shops!


----------



## Sgt. Beardface

I was in the local shop down here last year; I had just got my old Z7 Decemberish so around then; and a guy came in and had to have a 70lb XLR8 (Monster). When he draws the bow after it comes in he pretty much had to point it at the ceiling and kinda step into like a pitcher would then yank it back; so I tell him just trying to be helpful "that with that much motion in a deer stand he'll never get to full draw without being busted"and "maybe he should think about getting the weight lowered to a tolerable level". He then explains to me that "(his) my arrows need to travel at more than 330 fps because deer can only react to sound in 3/10ths of a second and it would be physically impossible for deer to react and dodge his arrow". Needless to say this is the same guy that would bring 36 arrows in for a round of shooting, shoot all 36 at a single dot target and then run around bragging that he had just "almost robinhooded 2 arrows". Upon closer inspection they were only about 6" low and about 4" rt. Good job; now do it in the center!! Best thread ever BTW. And the shop owner only sold him that bow because he refused to even look at anything else, the owner tried everything he could outside of losing a $1500 sale.

-Chuck


----------



## RonnieB54

We had a guy come into shop one day asking for an anal plug tool and all of us had a hard time not laughing. He was looking for a Butt out 2 tool. The owner of the shop loves guys like this he had a few wise cracks before he got the butt tool for the guy. I really felt sorry for the guy but it made our day.


----------



## eastx

I'm new to archery, this will be my 2nd year bowhunting, have done a lot of prep and practice, hoping to get my first one this year. The guys at my local shop are awesome, really do a lot to help out a noob like me. Until I carried an arrow in for a new insert with a fob on it. I don't believe I will ever hear the end of it. . .


----------



## ItecKid

Ttt


----------



## -bowfreak-

My friend owns a shop and a guy came in with his bow jacked up.......my friend asked him what happened? He said he "dry cracked" his bow!:icon_1_lol:


----------



## Jellio

Our season opens Saturday and every year on the Sunday before the opener there is a story about how guys are streaming into the bow shops to get there bows tuned and to buy new arrows...really a week before the season.


----------



## gmchiryder

The funniest thing I can remember is someone with their sight on backwards. This was back in the days of overdraws and the guy thought the sight would be most accurate if the pin was in the same spot as the arrow point at full draw.


----------



## philhoney

Hi 
Fishing again, not funny but worth a read.
I used to own a 17ft wooden, clinker built fishing boat with a 1943 Stuart Turner inboard engine.
One summer Sunday morning at high tide I took my 8yr old daughter and my 5yr old son out for a makeral bashing session.
Sure enough we hit the fish about midday and were hauling them in 5 or 6 every cast, there were fish everywhere. We filled all the black refuse sacks I had on board and then used these sacks to build a wall between the small cabin and the rest of the boat and filled the cabin with fish. I didn't have a clue what I was going to do with all these fish but once we started we couldn't stop. THE RED MIST.
We came back in with the evening tide and as soon as possible I sent my daughter to the local pub (my mate was the landlord) to scrounge some more sacks. We filled these sacks and loaded them into the dingy and with the 3 of us aboard there was about 2ins feeboard before we were swamped. I'm just gratefull the sea was flat calm.
We got to the slipway and with the help of several walkers we got the dingy clear of the water.
By this time I needed a beer and my kids wanted a coke so I left them with the dingy (and the fish) and went into the pub to get refreshments. It was a lovely summer evening and the pub was packed and it was about 15mins before I got served and got back to the slip with the drinks. 
My kids were selling the makeral for 10p (UK) each and had a long queue forming. I gave them their drinks and left them to it. (I was watching from the top of the slip). Half hour later I wandered down to see if they wanted more cokes and they gave me a handfull of small change and said "Here you are dad, it's our round"
By the time it got dark they had sold all of the fish and had about £50 (UK) each in their pockets. On the long walk home (no car) they insisted that we had a meal in the local Chinese resturant with them paying. 
Can you imagine the scene? We were in our oldest clothes and having handled fish all day stunk to high heaven. Fair play to the owners of the resturant they put us in a quiet corner and treated my kids like royalty. We did notice a few other customers coming through the door and wrinkling their noses but I was so proud of my kids I couldn't care less.
Phil


----------



## Jungleman

Up at deer camp this year I heard a buddy of ours in a different camp scored so I hopped on the quad and rode over to congratulate him and maybe rub some fuzzy antlers for luck.

He came walkin out and met me as I rode up, looked at my bow and said "Wow, that`s a lot of bow you`re packin there"
"Check it out, it`s got all those dampeners and doodads and doohicky`s on it"

Didn`t really know what to say.....yeah that`s my new Alphaburner....so, I heard you got a buck!


----------



## NebraskaBowhunter

talon1961 said:


> I didn't hear this at a bow shop, but just a few minutes ago here in my house. A friend of my wife and mine stopped by to go walking with my wife. She is just recently divorced and her ex husband and I have hunted and played ball together. While standing in the driveway talking to her, she commented about my Ross "Own More Bone" Sticker on my truck back glass. I tried to explain what it was talking about, the horns, antlers, you know on deer and elk." Well", she responded, "You hunters are all alike, all you ever do is hunt, drink, and think about sex." I responded back, "you know I don't drink". She just gave me a dirty look and got in her car. My wife almost died laughing, before I realized what I just said. Now I can't stop laughing. They left and went walking. My wife called back a few minutes ago and said that "our friend" just realized what I meant and now she is embarassed.


 How original.


----------



## volgrad7

Some store employees are amazing. I was at Dicks the other day and an older gent (70s) who obviously loved deer hunting and had been a bow hunter for years was looking for a crossbow. I was checking out release and overheard him say his shoulder was messed up and he couldnt draw any longer. The little geeky sales kid comes over and is literally lost himself but is pushing the most expensive 1000$ crossbow on the shelf. The man says i guess i have to get that one even though i cant afford it because it has the automatic cocking device on it and i cant cock one without that. THe kid says yup you sure do. He then proceeds to tell the gentlemen he needs some arrows as well and hands him a box of full length uncut in the box Gold Tip Devastators for compounds. At this point i say "Sir, i would be more than happy to get you set up with what you need at half the cost and explained the arrows. The kid takes offense and swears that the crossbow will shoot regular compound arrows. I tell him lets hit the range as id love to see YOU try that. He goes to get a manager meanwhile i set him up with a much cheaper but just as effective Horton with the seperate rope cocker to save him some cash. Hes thrilled and purchases it. The manager comes over and wants to know why i interefere with the sell. I explain and he then tells the kid to go mop up the bathrooms and that the man could have seriously been hurt by his ignorant suggestions. He proceeded to offer me a job, to which i politely declined


----------



## volgrad7

When i lived in Eastern Ky a gentlemen claimed to have killed a new state record archery deer and was driving around town with it in the back of his pickup "showing it off". I couldnt resist and drove to the local shop just as he was pulling in. I arrived just about the time the CO arrived to issue a LARGE ticket. The man killed a 5x5 Bull Elk. His little picukup was nearly dragging the ground. He had no idea it wasnt a deer. To top it all off he argued with the CO for a good half hour trying to explain it was in fact a Whitetail Buck. Ive never seen anyone so frustrated and astonished as that CO. This is indeed a true story


----------



## BLan

volgrad7 said:


> When i lived in Eastern Ky a gentlemen claimed to have killed a new state record archery deer and was driving around town with it in the back of his pickup "showing it off". I couldnt resist and drove to the local shop just as he was pulling in. I arrived just about the time the CO arrived to issue a LARGE ticket. The man killed a 5x5 Bull Elk. His little picukup was nearly dragging the ground. He had no idea it wasnt a deer. To top it all off he argued with the CO for a good half hour trying to explain it was in fact a Whitetail Buck. Ive never seen anyone so frustrated and astonished as that CO. This is indeed a true story


I've heard that same story for years. Maybe it is true?


----------



## Bvan

haha good stories!


----------



## Yamahog12

Some guy at the Bowhunters safety course asked "Can ya hunt deer with field points if ya want to?"


----------



## USarmyMP

:icon_1_lol:


BowTechSoldier said:


> Check this one out I heard about this awhile back!!
> 
> www.mtstandard.com/.../article_2643a90d-74ae-5cf5-a15d-b913540dae57.html


Here is that Elk he killed


----------



## Yamahog12

hoyt bowhunting said:


> Well i walked into a archery shot. Asked for T.M. hunter everyone laughed at me. Then I walked around and had to ask why they dont sell bowtech's there. But I did find a mathews that didnt sound right till i was told it needed to have a arrow in it. But they helped me and i told them my draw lenght was 30" and i wanted a .400 spine weight.
> When i left i could see everyone laughing at me. All i wanted was to get a bow.


Funny!


----------



## Yamahog12

RonnieB54 said:


> We had a guy come into shop one day asking for an anal plug tool and all of us had a hard time not laughing. He was looking for a Butt out 2 tool. The owner of the shop loves guys like this he had a few wise cracks before he got the butt tool for the guy. I really felt sorry for the guy but it made our day.


Maybe he just walked into the wrong store.


----------



## volgrad7

Doe urine is not just for that Rut pal, Estrous is. I know TONS of guys who use Doe Urine successfully early season as attractant/curiousity


----------



## volgrad7

That Elk stroy is def true. Saw it along with about 100 other people busting guts laughing at the guy. he refused to believe it wasnt a deer. Apparently, according to CO its happened numerous times as well


----------



## rs3711

A friend was holding my target arrow in one hand and his target arrow in the other hand. Asked me how much my arrow weighed. When I replied 330 grains, he said "Yeah, I could tell it was heavier than mine." I asked him how much his arrow weighed, he replied 325!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


----------



## GoneUser1

Try working in the bow shop, for a huge water fowl outfitter www.mackspw.com during the would duck calling festival where they sell beer and 200 bows with strings zip tied. quite a show...............


----------



## callou2131

USarmyMP said:


> :icon_1_lol:
> 
> Here is that Elk he killed


That looks like an alpaca :tongue:


----------



## hunttillidie

Ignition kid said:


> I have been in an archery shop and some guy will walk in there like he knows what he's talking about and he'll say, that's a Reezen or something like that and it really is a Monster, even when the stinkin' name is written all over the bow, I wish people wouldn't do that, they need to know what they're talking about before they go and talk smack.
> 
> I was in Bass Pro's archery shop (not much of one) and I was looking at some axis FMJ's to see how much they were and the guy that worked there asked us what bows we shot and my dad and I said Mathews and the guy gave that stupid look like that we were stupid or that he was tired of hearing that. then he says well I shoot a Parker and blah blah blah about him being on their staff and that he gets bows from them that haven't come out and he said Mathews bows are so outdated, Parker is way ahead of them all and blah blah blah about them and he was badmouthing one of the largets and most successful bow manufacturers in the world. My dad and I walk away and I said to my dad, he full of crap!, Mathews bows being outdated and Parker being so much ahead, Parker seems to copy just about every bow company out there and why don't you hear about them alot, and mathews has more innovations than Parker has bows. I know Parker isa good bow but they're not a Mathews type quality or anything like that, why can't parker make a faster, more vibration free bow while still having a smooth draw at 330+ fps.
> Also the guy said he was going to get some FMJ Dangerous game for deer and hog so he could shoot them in the but and out the mouth, and my dad said, I do that with just the regular axis and with expandables.
> The guy was a smart uh... you know what, he though he was the best of the best and what not. Some people rub off on me wrong


so because you shoot a mathews you are god :tongue: yep that sounds about right lol. nah just playin. i hate when a person workin in a shop doesnt know enough to shut up about there own setup. and like u said, parker isnt huge, but they dont make crap either. they just dont spend what mathews does on advertising. thats all.


----------



## adam330

Well the request I got wasnt what struck me as funny. I had an older guy walk up to the counter and tell me he needed a new string for his longbow, when he handed it to me the first thing I noticed was the string he had on at the time was 2 leather boot laces tied together! He wasnt kidding when he said he needed a new string!


----------



## WalterJ

ttt please sir can i have some more??


----------



## Dextee

volgrad7 said:


> Some store employees are amazing. I was at Dicks the other day and an older gent (70s) who obviously loved deer hunting and had been a bow hunter for years was looking for a crossbow. I was checking out release and overheard him say his shoulder was messed up and he couldnt draw any longer. The little geeky sales kid comes over and is literally lost himself but is pushing the most expensive 1000$ crossbow on the shelf. The man says i guess i have to get that one even though i cant afford it because it has the automatic cocking device on it and i cant cock one without that. THe kid says yup you sure do. He then proceeds to tell the gentlemen he needs some arrows as well and hands him a box of full length uncut in the box Gold Tip Devastators for compounds. At this point i say "Sir, i would be more than happy to get you set up with what you need at half the cost and explained the arrows. The kid takes offense and swears that the crossbow will shoot regular compound arrows. I tell him lets hit the range as id love to see YOU try that. He goes to get a manager meanwhile i set him up with a much cheaper but just as effective Horton with the seperate rope cocker to save him some cash. Hes thrilled and purchases it. The manager comes over and wants to know why i interefere with the sell. I explain and he then tells the kid to go mop up the bathrooms and that the man could have seriously been hurt by his ignorant suggestions. He proceeded to offer me a job, to which i politely declined



Kick Azz~


----------



## jgregoire687

Bakdahelup said:


> Hey I know that guy!


Are those a "Brian's" Specialty?


----------



## nchunter

I was in a bow / gun shop that I frequented a lot several years ago so I knew all the guys wroking there. A young guy with dredlocks and pants that were 100 times too big for him cam in and walked to the counter and laid a Mac 10 Uzi on the counter and said, " I need some bullets for this!" It was kind of a touchy situation there for a minute. The guy at the counter just said we don't carry them. He then called in his liscence plate # to the sherriff's dept. when he left the store. Everyone working there carried a firearm on there side, but I didn't have one...kinda scary there for a minute.


----------



## blue25km

dtrkyman said:


> guy calls asking to see about making his bow more quiet,upon further investigation he didnt have any arrows yet:mg:


i sware i had the same dang guy !!!! hahahahahahahah


----------



## blue25km

lee martin said:


> A Soccer mom came into out shop one morning and asked for Mossy Oak Break Out camo.


did you get her number? soccer moms are hot!!!


----------



## LebValArcher

Great thread guys!

I have a couple stories from this year...

Right handed guy trying to draw back a lefthanded bow

Guy came in looking for a new scope for his crossbow, when the owner told him what they cost, the guy goes crazy. Saying how everything costs so much. He then went onto to explain how he just bought a crossbow crank for $340:zip:
The owner goes you mean this crank that im selling for $140 hahahahah

Somebody made one heck of a deal.

Also at the Cabelas in Hamburg, Pa. I was watching what seemed to be tourists (big family) from outside the country shopping in the bargain cave. The dad picks up the bow all cocky, draws it back and aims at a deer. He then FIRES IT!!!

Turns to his kids, all proud of himself......I GOT THE DEER!!


----------



## bj99robinson

Funny story about my brother in law.

He shot a fawn during shotgun season. He got pretty excited and me and my dad helped him track her. He made a good shot and we found her less than 100 yards. This wasn't his 1st deer but he hadn't shot many. So as he is gutting it with our direction he accidentally cuts into the stomach. He pulls his knife out and sees a blob of green on it. Without hesitation he brings it up to his nose and smells it! Instantly he starts gagging and instantly me and my dad fall over laughing at him! It was the funniest thing!

From now on when he shoots one I always tell him to wait until I get there to watch him gut his deer, because I don't want to miss anything!


----------



## bj99robinson

Funny story about my brother in law.

He shot a fawn during shotgun season. He got pretty excited and me and my dad helped him track her. He made a good shot and we found her less than 100 yards. This wasn't his 1st deer but he hadn't shot many. So as he is gutting it with our direction he accidentally cuts into the stomach. He pulls his knife out and sees a blob of green on it. Without hesitation he brings it up to his nose and smells it! Instantly he starts gagging and instantly me and my dad fall over laughing at him! It was the funniest thing!

From now on when he shoots one I always tell him to wait until I get there to watch him gut his deer, because I don't want to miss anything!


----------



## GoneUser1

i watched a buck on the last afternoon of gun season chase does in my yard. had some very distinguishing charistics. Well the last day i was thinking, GOOD he made it. he will get bigger next year. 

then two weeks later im at work and a kid and his mother come in to put a set of horns in the big buck contest, kid walks up and handed me his horns, guess what...the buck from my yard......i looked at the kid and his mother and asked them what he got it with and they said a gun......then i scored the buck they told me about their place they hunt....which is some woods behind my house......as i was finishing the score on the buck, i looked at the mother and said " i saw this deer in my yard the last day of gun season, now since it is a kid i am not going to say anything just make sure for now on ya'll teach him to hunt in season". her mouth dropped, n was shocked and just started stuttering. i didnt let the kid here me tell her, but the look on her face was price less.


----------



## wyo bull

Got 2:

Guy came in looking for some "exploding " broadheads.

Kid came in with string of his bow. I asked what happened? "I had my buddy sit on the limb so I could get the string off but we couldn't get it back on"
After installing new limbs on his bow he learned a valuable lesson!!


----------



## CalCoHunter

Overheard this at BP from the guy behind the counter: "The Wisker Biscuit was made to shoot with Blazer Vanes".

Now it may be preferred, but if I remember correctly, the WB was on the market before Blazers......


----------



## dragman

My favorite and it happens 3-4 times a week. Man walks in he is between 5'3''-5'7'' with a normal build and wants to look at a bow I ask what draw length will you be needing and I get 30-32" So I give it to him and he draw the string clean back ast his head!!!! and says yep that will work.


----------



## hawkeyestate

Usingmyrights said:


> I don't see that as a dumb question. Just because something is old doesn't mean its not good and in the firearm world an older version of the same model may even be better. I'm sure the same could be applied to many things.
> 
> 
> 
> Why is that a dumb question for someone who is not into the sport. Ignorance doesn't mean stupid, unless they choose to be ignorant about it. Instead of laughing people could explain the differences in the bows.
> 
> 
> As far as sighting ina bow goes, when I bought my bow they said they sight in the top pin to 20yds. I was thinking that I was going to have to do some tweeking, but it was actually right on for me. So it is possible, I guess its just a matter of having enough staff on hand to have someone that can shoot the various DLs


Having staff on hand with the proper draw length to shoot the bow has nothing to do with it. Everybody shoots with a different perspective, and no 2 people are the exact same. So as someone may be able to sight your bow in and get it close, you should be the one to zero it in. Same goes with guns, just because someone sights your scope in, highly unlikely it's going to be zeroed in for you.


----------



## bowtechman88

Bump it up!


----------



## ItecKid

Ttt


----------



## TauntoHawk

kdogmcg said:


> It's like throwing an ax through your fruit basket.


lmao im still dying

heres one of mine, At the PA hamburg Cabelas talking to the tech about crossbows ( not buying one just talking about the new laws).. he says he had a guy want to shoot one, so he set him up and says make sure to keep your thumb down out of the way of the string.. guys says, "naw i hit my arm with my bow string and it doesnt hurt, you guys are just girls im tough!" fires....... and there goes the mans thumb flying down the range blood everywhere.. they take him to the ER to get his thumb put back on screaming.... guy shows up a few months later still with a bandage on his thumb, tech asks him, "still not healed up at all?".... the mans little girl says "nooooo, he just shot it off again last week at another archery shop!!!" guy blushed and walked away 

hahaha


----------



## TauntoHawk

dragman said:


> My favorite and it happens 3-4 times a week. Man walks in he is between 5'3''-5'7'' with a normal build and wants to look at a bow I ask what draw length will you be needing and I get 30-32" So I give it to him and he draw the string clean back ast his head!!!! and says yep that will work.



yeah people love to talk themselves up, guy brings me his Mathews Ultralight to my house i pull it back, say "yeah thats really easy, whats it set at?" guy says its set at 77lbs i look at him and go no thats no 77 it pulled way easier than my hoyt turbohawk at 65.... thats because its a mathews i can pull 80 or 90 with one of these shoots close to 400fps

i put it on my scale and its set at 52, then shoot it through my crono and its 234fps guy looks at me and goes, "what the HeII you broke it!!!!!"


----------



## Christopher67

TauntoHawk said:


> lmao im still dying
> 
> heres one of mine, At the PA hamburg Cabelas talking to the tech about crossbows ( not buying one just talking about the new laws).. he says he had a guy want to shoot one, so he set him up and says make sure to keep your thumb down out of the way of the string.. guys says, "naw i hit my arm with my bow string and it doesnt hurt, you guys are just girls im tough!" fires....... and there goes the mans thumb flying down the range blood everywhere.. they take him to the ER to get his thumb put back on screaming.... guy shows up a few months later still with a bandage on his thumb, tech asks him, "still not healed up at all?".... the mans little girl says "nooooo, he just shot it off again last week at another archery shop!!!" guy blushed and walked away
> 
> hahaha




Haha!! :set1_rolf2:


----------



## dragman

TauntoHawk said:


> yeah people love to talk themselves up, guy brings me his Mathews Ultralight to my house i pull it back, say "yeah thats really easy, whats it set at?" guy says its set at 77lbs i look at him and go no thats no 77 it pulled way easier than my hoyt turbohawk at 65.... thats because its a mathews i can pull 80 or 90 with one of these shoots close to 400fps
> 
> i put it on my scale and its set at 52, then shoot it through my crono and its 234fps guy looks at me and goes, "what the HeII you broke it!!!!!"


That happens a couple times a year to me! love it everytime not the mathews part just the guy over blowing whatever bow he has.


----------



## buckhunter2705

hawkeyestate said:


> Having staff on hand with the proper draw length to shoot the bow has nothing to do with it. Everybody shoots with a different perspective, and no 2 people are the exact same. So as someone may be able to sight your bow in and get it close, you should be the one to zero it in. Same goes with guns, just because someone sights your scope in, highly unlikely it's going to be zeroed in for you.


ah a bow i agree a gun i dis agree man not trying to start an argument or fight but if the person who sighted it in shoots the gun as intended anyone else who knows how to properly shoot a gun should be able to shoot and hit with it. thats why military snipers only carry one sniper rifle and one assault rifle and trade back and forward with there spotter when needed each one can shoot that gun the same way because they train on how to shoot a gun accurately and correctly. i've sighted rifles for my dad, brother, wife, father in law and each one of them has been able to go and shoot it and hit within a half inch or so of where i hit


----------



## TauntoHawk

dragman said:


> That happens a couple times a year to me! love it everytime not the mathews part just the guy over blowing whatever bow he has.


yeah, im not busting on the mathews just the guy... i have a mathews for my wife and its awesome


----------



## parkerbows

I got one, and can laugh at myself on this one. About 20 years ago after never shooting a bow in my life other than a fiberglass recurve in high school. Me and my friend grabbed two if his bows he had laying up in his attack for 10 years untouched. They were browning I think and they were wood riser and wood limb compounds.
We looked up an archery range and he had some old arrows laying around and went shooting. The bows had sights on them and neither of us knew what to do to adjust them so we just tried to figure out where to hold the pins. we were shooting fingers and were all over the place. missing the target sometimes and everything. I am sure we were getting laughed at pretty bad in the beginning. we evenetually started doing ok when I drew back and the top limb completely blew up and something probably the limb hit me in the head. My friend starts cracking up along with everyone else at the range. 
Next thing you know my friend draws back and the bow he is shooting blows up and we are all laughing at him.
Quite embarassing


----------



## ItecKid

Not really a pro shop thing but funny none the same...

I went to Dick's Sporting Goods tonight to buy my license and tags, and so the guy working prints them out for me, I pay, do a quick check to make sure all the correct tags are there, and then jump back into my car to drive back to my dorm. Only after getting back and looking at it once more did I realize that my first name (Matthew) was misspelled as Mathhew.

Which is strange, because he recorded my driver's license number, I might have thought a smart piece of software would have come back with a name/number mismatch...

Anyway though, I had to jump back into my car to drive back to the store and ask the clerk to correct the problem.


----------



## JMaier

buckhunter2705 said:


> ah a bow i agree a gun i dis agree man not trying to start an argument or fight but if the person who sighted it in shoots the gun as intended anyone else who knows how to properly shoot a gun should be able to shoot and hit with it. thats why military snipers only carry one sniper rifle and one assault rifle and trade back and forward with there spotter when needed each one can shoot that gun the same way because they train on how to shoot a gun accurately and correctly. i've sighted rifles for my dad, brother, wife, father in law and each one of them has been able to go and shoot it and hit within a half inch or so of where i hit


I agree.. 



ItecKid said:


> Not really a pro shop thing but funny none the same...
> 
> I went to Dick's Sporting Goods tonight to buy my license and tags, and so the guy working prints them out for me, I pay, do a quick check to make sure all the correct tags are there, and then jump back into my car to drive back to my dorm. Only after getting back and looking at it once more did I realize that my first name (Matthew) was misspelled as Mathhew.
> 
> Which is strange, because he recorded my driver's license number, I might have thought a smart piece of software would have come back with a name/number mismatch...
> 
> Anyway though, I had to jump back into my car to drive back to the store and ask the clerk to correct the problem.


Try going to get your Drivers License renewed only for the DMV to tell you you're under suspention... I looked at the lady like :suspiciou... She says, "Yeah. You've been under suspention since 2008". I told her she was insane and that was impossible. From 2008 till June of 09 when I was getting it renewed I had gotten two new jobs... The first required me to drive a company van... DMV check there.. The second, that I still have, was with the Sheriff's Office.. 

Turns out the girl fat fingered the last number on my license.. 0912 is what she put in.. Mine is 0911..

The guy who has DL# ** *** 0912 is John Meier... My name? John Maier... It was insane.




Anyway, A story...

I work for a Sheriff's Office.. I answer outside calls from one of the posts I work.. I get this call every so often...

Me- "********'s County Sheriff's Office".
Them- Is this Pizza Hut?
Me- No. This is the *******'s County Sheriff's Office.
Them- Oh... Well do you have the number for pizza hut?
Me- :set1_punch::set1_violent002::set1_punch: No.... I don't....


----------



## archerm3

JMaier said:


> I agree..
> 
> 
> 
> Try going to get your Drivers License renewed only for the DMV to tell you you're under suspention... I looked at the lady like :suspiciou... She says, "Yeah. You've been under suspention since 2008". I told her she was insane and that was impossible. From 2008 till June of 09 when I was getting it renewed I had gotten two new jobs... The first required me to drive a company van... DMV check there.. The second, that I still have, was with the Sheriff's Office..
> 
> Turns out the girl fat fingered the last number on my license.. 0912 is what she put in.. Mine is 0911..
> 
> The guy who has DL# ** *** 0912 is John Meier... My name? John Maier... It was insane.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Anyway, A story...
> 
> I work for a Sheriff's Office.. I answer outside calls from one of the posts I work.. I get this call every so often...
> 
> Me- "********'s County Sheriff's Office".
> Them- Is this Pizza Hut?
> Me- No. This is the *******'s County Sheriff's Office.
> Them- Oh... Well do you have the number for pizza hut?
> Me- :set1_punch::set1_violent002::set1_punch: No.... I don't....


=
xxxxxxx county sheriffs office # 0911
xxxxxxx county Pizza Hut # 0912

Lighten up or I'll have you dial MoviePhone.


----------



## archerm3

buckhunter2705 said:


> ah a bow i agree a gun i dis agree man not trying to start an argument or fight but if the person who sighted it in shoots the gun as intended anyone else who knows how to properly shoot a gun should be able to shoot and hit with it. thats why military snipers only carry one sniper rifle and one assault rifle and trade back and forward with there spotter when needed each one can shoot that gun the same way because they train on how to shoot a gun accurately and correctly. i've sighted rifles for my dad, brother, wife, father in law and each one of them has been able to go and shoot it and hit within a half inch or so of where i hit


Thats a bunch of BS on military snipers...they might carry one gun each...BECAUSE one is the Sniper, and one the spotter! They also carry dope books which they can use to adjust the sights, BY MEMORY for zero on the assault gun, between trading guns with their partner. As a competitive rifle shooter I'm here to tell you that a rifle zero'd for one guy WILL NOT be zero'd for another. It might be close enough for someone that can't hold a tight group. Probably like your wife, dad, brother, etc.; within a half an inch of where you hit, is NOT zero'd.


----------



## MS Sportsman

Jungleman said:


> So I`m out duck hunting and nothing is really flying so I get bored and decide I`m going to do some jump shooting and try to stir some up for my brother. It`s goin pretty good up to the point I flush a duck and when I shoot the shot sounds a little off.
> 
> Kind of a poof instead of a boom.
> 
> Well I can`t stop myself and about the time I`m squeezing off the second round my mind is screaming what my eyes saw
> 
> ONLY THE BB`S CAME OUT THE BARREL THE WAD IS STILL IN THERE!
> 
> I touch it off and this time there is a hellacious Boom and I`m standing there with a blown up gun!
> 
> View attachment 832100
> 
> 
> View attachment 832101
> 
> 
> View attachment 832102
> 
> 
> But that`s not the best part!
> I somehow knocked the duck down and he was out there swimming so I hitched up the waders and took the barrel off the gun and started chasing it.
> I was trying to grab it with my new duck grappling hook but everytime I got close it would dive. So I`m cursing and splashing and stabbing at the water trying to hook Daffy and finally I notice two guys standing about 100 yards away watching the whole show.
> 
> They`re like "Hey are you ok?"
> Nothing to see here folks, just a crazy man chasing a duck with a blown up barrel. I`m sure you`ve seen this on Looney Tunes when you were a kid.


I had a shell do that to me once. Luckily I looked down the barrel and saw the wad before I shot again. Glad you weren't hurt. Sounds like you put on quite a show for those guys.


----------



## apache pilot

its hunting season now so new stories have to be brewing


----------



## Outback Man

Was at the range and had three late teens/early twenties kids come in...I'm not sure they'd ever shot a bow in their life, but they had a shop demo bow and three arrows. I was on one half of the indoor range and they were on the other, so I couldn't see everything they were doing. Their shots were everywhere but on target. At one point I heard a nasty sound and saw an arrow hit about 15' above the target in the banners that hang down...the kid had whacked his arm w/the string real good. Then I start seeing flashes as they shot...they were taking pictures. I was about to shoot when one kid walked out past the firing line so I let down. I then saw him turn around and stand in front of the shooter taking a pic oh his buddy. I thought that seemed weird so I peaked around the corner and the dude was at full draw...with this guy and his camera only about 6" away from the end of the arrow. That would have been a nasty way to break a camera.

After I left I heard they derailed that bow later on...might have broke the cervix on it too...


----------



## dtrkyman

had a guy with an old bow with a tm rest mounted in the normal position and then a whisker biscuit mounted basically backwards sticking out front of the grip,i mentioned how he didnt need the tm and offered to set up the biscuit properly and he said he liked it that way.so i simply said just dont tell anyone i set up your bow.how about the guy calling in to ask how to quiet his bow,when i asked him about his set up he stated he didnt have any arrows yet:mg:


----------



## NYhunter24

rednecbowhunter said:


> Guess he hasnt heard of the Z7


:thumbs_up


----------



## skwiggsgonewild

Was at Dick's today and had a kid come around into the broadhead isle holding a cheap looking Bear bow, not inspecting it, just holding it in his hand, was obvious he was looking to buy it. His grandma came in complaining about how he left her behind getting back there. She asked if what he was holding was what he wanted, and he said yes and explained why, because it was the cheapest that was set up already, pointed out a Diamond bow, complaining that it was $400 bare. So he takes it over to the "tech" and he remarked how that was a popular bow. He set the kids bow in the counter and asked the kid what he wanted the draw length to be, never made an attempt of measuring it out in any way and it was obvious the kid didn't know what his DL was. So the tech set it to something and told the kid "ok you're all set now you just gotta get out there and shoot!" Mind you deer season is only a week and a half away....I feel very bad for the deer that this kid is shooting at..


----------



## TauntoHawk

i asked a girl working at cabelas where i could fine shotgun chocks because i was in a hurry and wanted to know the isle.... she said, "I dont know i dont even hunt, heck i dont even know what that is, this is just the only place that would hire me and it pays better than McDonalds"


----------



## skynight

TauntoHawk said:


> i asked a girl working at cabelas where i could fine shotgun chocks because i was in a hurry and wanted to know the isle.... she said, "I dont know i dont even hunt, heck i dont even know what that is, this is just the only place that would hire me and it pays better than McDonalds"


Yeah, but was she cute?


----------



## Keesey

TauntoHawk said:


> i asked a girl working at cabelas where i could fine shotgun chocks because i was in a hurry and wanted to know the isle.... she said, "I dont know i dont even hunt, heck i dont even know what that is, this is just the only place that would hire me and it pays better than McDonalds"


See that what bugs me! I've seen this happen at my Bass Pro they hire girls (cute girls  ) or just people in general that have no clue what they are doing. And I've been trying to apply there since I was old enough and they wont hire me no matter what. I may not know everything there is to know but I know a heck of alot more than they do.

And sometimes its embarrassing when a customer asks someone that works there for help and you end up helping them more than the employee. I've had that happen a few times. The employee says something completely stupid and wrong so when they leave I end up helping that person


----------



## ItecKid

Ttt


----------



## tattoo13

I recently moved to the Ozarks and at work I always tease the guys about the deer being so small. Yesterday I was at work and showed some people a couple trailcam pictures a friend from Wisconsin sent me of a huge buck.
Well our parts lady (who knows all and has done all) preceeds to tell me this story:
_ "You know a few years ago my son went out to set up his treestand the day before the season opened.
I made sure to tell him "Don't you shoot any deer, you'll get in trouble."
So when he came back he told me, "Mama I know I was not supposed to shoot a deer,
and when I set up the stand I climbed up there and was just watching. I saw a 6 pointer,
and let him by, then a 8 pointer walked by and I let him go. Then I saw this buck I had to
shoot him.
When I walked out to his truck he pulled the cover back and it was a *42* point buck!!"_


Swear to god she stands by the fact that her son shot a 42 point buck, no pictures no mount, but he did.
She said he had to hide it, I asked why he didn't just hid it until morning and claim he shot it then, she said because he is too honest to lie.


----------



## 123 4/8 P&Y

TauntoHawk said:


> lmao im still dying
> 
> heres one of mine, At the PA hamburg Cabelas talking to the tech about crossbows ( not buying one just talking about the new laws).. he says he had a guy want to shoot one, so he set him up and says make sure to keep your thumb down out of the way of the string.. guys says, "naw i hit my arm with my bow string and it doesnt hurt, you guys are just girls im tough!" fires....... and there goes the mans thumb flying down the range blood everywhere.. they take him to the ER to get his thumb put back on screaming.... guy shows up a few months later still with a bandage on his thumb, tech asks him, "still not healed up at all?".... the mans little girl says "nooooo, he just shot it off again last week at another archery shop!!!" guy blushed and walked away
> 
> hahaha


Holy crap that can't be true. What an idiot!


----------



## dont look up

that should be easy to fill


----------



## madsammer

Once I had a hot chick come in and ask for a better than a BJ bow. I grabbed the most expsensive bow we had and said here. She askes again is this better than a BJ? I told her it's a toss up, but the best we have.

She came back later that day with her boyfriend and bought it for him, telling him as they we checking out, he has to "satisfy" her for 3 hours.

Poor guy gets a new bow, and has to do that for 3 hours.


----------



## bambieslayer

the poor sumbich


----------



## arrow flinger

Saw a guy show up at our local ER with a rag on his ear and blood all over the side of his head and neck...seems he was shooting a bow for the first time and stuck his head up close to the sight to get a better view! He almost lost his right ear !


----------



## ARthumper

This isnt a real "funny" one, but when i was in the local pro shop earlier this last week shooting, I walked by the repair rack where the owner was working and noticed a Carbon Matrix hanging on the rack with strings hanging everywhere with a cockeyed cam. Thing was DECKED out. I asked the owner what in the world happened and she said "well the owner was showing off to his buddies telling them how it was indestructable and how easy it was to draw. He then demonstrated and drew with fingers....and let go." She then told me that he came in demanded that she have Hoyt overnight his replacement parts and have it done by the next day (day before opener). After we had a good head shaking giggle, we admired the kid for even having the guts to admit what he had done. :hello2:


----------



## IrishMike

I just heard this one 2 weeks ago and thought it was the funniest thing I have heard in the bow shop. A guy came in to a pro shop I routinely hang out at in my spare time. The guy asked the owner if he could rent a bow from the shop to hunt with.

LMAO!


----------



## Postless65

IrishMike said:


> I just heard this one 2 weeks ago and thought it was the funniest thing I have heard in the bow shop. A guy came in to a pro shop I routinely hang out at in my spare time. The guy asked the owner if he could rent a bow from the shop to hunt with.
> 
> LMAO!


That might be a money making business...


----------



## Q2DEATH

I don't think thats a bad idea. You can rent all kinds of hunting equipment. Including brand new back packs that will get bloody when packing out meat and there's no problem with that.

I could see that working, especially with some of the cheaper bows like a PSE Brute.


----------



## lazydogs

buckhunter2705 said:


> ah a bow i agree a gun i dis agree man not trying to start an argument or fight but if the person who sighted it in shoots the gun as intended anyone else who knows how to properly shoot a gun should be able to shoot and hit with it. thats why military snipers only carry one sniper rifle and one assault rifle and trade back and forward with there spotter when needed each one can shoot that gun the same way because they train on how to shoot a gun accurately and correctly. i've sighted rifles for my dad, brother, wife, father in law and each one of them has been able to go and shoot it and hit within a half inch or so of where i hit


if you are a right hander, I bet I would shoot your gun 6" high and 6" to the left. Just because snipers are trained to shoot the same as their partner, does not mean hunters are.....especially if you are right eye dominant and I'm left eye dominant


----------



## madsammer

My B I L pulled back a short draw 40# bow and stuck his head in between the string and cables. Let the bow down and then started to choke on the pressure from the strings he did not expect. He could not pull the bow from his stuck angle, I was laughing so hard I had to pull the bow to open it up so he could get his head out.


----------



## golfingguy27

madsammer said:


> My B I L pulled back a short draw 40# bow and stuck his head in between the string and cables. Let the bow down and then started to choke on the pressure from the strings he did not expect. He could not pull the bow from his stuck angle, I was laughing so hard I had to pull the bow to open it up so he could get his head out.


Uuummm.. why??


----------



## Archer917

Tht


----------



## Dadof8

This has got to be one of the all time best threads. The fishin' story with the drunk made me spray Dr. Pepper through my nose onto my keyboard.

Here's my contribution.

My best friend borrowed a bow for this 12 year old son. They shot all summer and were ready for deer season. They go out opening weekend. My buddy sets his son up in a ground blind and then he set up about 50 yards away.

An hour or so later, he hears his son shoot. He looks over and his son is still sitting in the ground blind. My buddy goes over to see what his son shot at because he hadn't seen any deer in that direction. When he walks up, his son is just sitting there with a knife in his hand and the bow has come apart with pieces and string laying everywhere. He found out that his son had gotten bored, so he pulled out his knife and started whittling. In the process, he cut the bowstring.

That young man in now 28 and I still kid him about it.


----------



## B-G-K

My buddy is a tech, the other guy that works there is a "tech" also. So a newbie walks in looking to get set up and what not, has never drawn a bow. The guy was small to boot, so the "tech" handed him a leftover s2, cranked to 70#, 29" draw (probably 3 inches too long for the fellar). Didnt give him an arrow, didnt give him a safety release, didn't point him down the lane and tells him to draw to see how he likes it. The guy draws back and it slips out of his fingers, decimating the cam and strings.... then the "tech" was acting like it was the guy's fault....


----------



## B-G-K

Got another story, hunting related. My buddy and I were at his uncle's out in western Ny for a spring turkey hunt. On the second morning we stop in for coffee, I grab my usual... regular coffee with a splash of milk, his uncle grabs a coffee regular.... my buddy proceeds to go to some cappucino machine, one of those loud ******* machines you dont wanna hear in the morning. After he's done he proceeds to ask the lady if they had any whipped cream... we immediately lose it and even the lady was laughing, I still ask him if he wants some whipped cream whenever he gets a coffee.


----------



## Foxzr2

I was out trying to help out my nephew det a bow. Not the best archer in the world, just a couple years of doing it myself. I went up and signed in to get some help, the kid working behind the counter was less than happy to help. I told him what we need to do and what we need help with. I grabbed a Diamond Razor Edge and said we wanted to shoot it. He proceeded to tell me that we can only shoot it if we were ready to buy it. I was like *** I need to know if he likes shooting it more than the other ones he has tried, well talked him into letting him take a shot with it. I told him to set it for 35 to let him get a feel for it. Well he said it would be ok at 45. My nephew is 13 years old and only shot a bow a handful of times. He wasn't able to pull it back, so I asked him to turn it down some more, his reply "I'll help him pull it back and get a look at his DL." I tried to stop my nephew, but it was too late. The kid almost lost the skin on his nose, his hand or something bumped the release as he help the nephew get it back. I was laughing at him and had to let him know we were good and rolled out of there.


----------



## jgregoire687

That was good for a 1 minute laughing fit. gotta catch my breath. Sounds like something my by buddy would do.



postsngoats said:


> Friend of mine is out runin some limb lines on a small river. He happened to run in to an old school mate of his that morning and the guy tags along with him to run his lines. The old school mate has spent the past 20 years "drinking" to much and is a fairly sorry looking sort of a guy but my friend feels sorry for him and out of respect for the past friendship allows him to tag along. The guy is 40 years old and looks 60, all wringled up and skinny unshaved but they are going fishing so who cares? So they are runnin the lines and they are having a swell time, catchin a few fish and this guy starts giving my buddy some playfull static about how he is fishin and my buddy goes along with it. After a while my buddy is cuttin some bait with his prized hunting knife and he tells the drunk that if he doesn't shut up he is gonna stick him with the knife he is holdin. As he is makin this threat he throws his knife at the board he was cutin bait on intending for it to stick in the board. Well the knife hits butt first and bounces over the side of the boat and into the river. It was funny up to now but this is my buds favorite knife that he has had for years. He looks at the river and decides he can recover the prized knife, so he strips down to his undershorts and into the river he goes, finds the knife, back in the boat he goes and the little drunk is givin him the bussiness the whole time. At this time my bud isn't payin to much attention to him, he is just happy to have his knife back. So he is bent over puttin his jeans back on with his backside facing the drunk, when a couple of other guys round the bend in the river in a caunoe, the drunk jumps to his feet, drops his jeans to his ankles and yells "have you had enough or you want some more?". Needless to say this story made it around our small town quickly and my buddy gets lots of invations to go "fishin".


----------



## Switchback29A1

madsammer said:


> Once I had a hot chick come in and ask for a better than a BJ bow. I grabbed the most expsensive bow we had and said here. She askes again is this better than a BJ? I told her it's a toss up, but the best we have.
> 
> She came back later that day with her boyfriend and bought it for him, telling him as they we checking out, he has to "satisfy" her for 3 hours.
> 
> Poor guy gets a new bow, and has to do that for 3 hours.


What a great day that was, who ever knew my girlfriend loved me that much. lol


----------



## BroodBuster

I spent lots of time at the archery shop putting reps on my new bow.

One day a guy sets up next to me with a recurve. He's right handed but shooting with his right hand on the inside or left side of the string. Having just seen the movie Avatar I got a good chuckle out of it. 

Shop owner wanders onto the range to bs and see's this guy put one down range, "no, no, no you don't shoot that way." He proceeds to show him the correct method. Well he turns around to bs with me and the guy goes right back to shooting the "Avatar" way. Owner sees this again and is like ***, "dude your doing it all wrong."

With a perfectly straight face I'm like "it's OK he's shooting the Avatar way."

The guy replies all proud like, "Yep I plan on learning to shoot like an Avatar."

Owner gives me the "*** is an Avatar" look and wanders off shaking his head!!!

Next time I'm in the shop he asks me, "What's an Avatar."

"Cartoon" I replied.

"Figures!" says the shop owner


----------



## MDHunter70

lazydogs said:


> if you are a right hander, I bet I would shoot your gun 6" high and 6" to the left. Just because snipers are trained to shoot the same as their partner, does not mean hunters are.....especially if you are right eye dominant and I'm left eye dominant


Absolutely correct. My girlfriend shoots my shotgun and muzzleloader about four inches high and to the right of my zero. She was left eye dominant but is training her right eye to take over..


----------



## bps3040

I was fishing with my Buddy... catfishing, well, I get the urge to pee. We are in a big cove with a dozen boats in it (bass tourny) No boats are near and we are aimed away from any of them, so, I casually whip it out and start taking care of business. I get a bite, set the hook, and the fish takes off. Well, it is headed toward the anchor/trolling motor, so, I cut off mid stream and run towards the front of the boat.... Well, my buddy screams like a girl and starts screaming " put your d**k in your pants, Put your d**k in your pants"!! and takes off towards the other side of the boat! So, now I am laughing my ass off, trying to land this fish and he is running around the boat screaming like a little girl. I thought he was going to jump out of the boat.Well, needless to say, we made an impression on the the other boats fishing the bass tourny, lol. They were pointing, laughing and giving the thumbs up. Every boat that came by the rest of the day had a "cutesy" comment, lol.


----------



## ckrich

Stash said:


> Next time you feel like complaining about poor techical knowledge on the part of a store employee, just remember the customers are usually 100 time worse.


:amen:


----------



## hjort jagare

This happened on the phone at work last night. Guy calls and says the broad heads he purchased at ANOTHER store were super dull and wanted to know if we could sharpen them? I asked what type he had? The answer was Montec's I asked him if they were black? Yep he had purchased the practice heads ukey: The pkg. had already been thrown out I felt bad for the guy. Heck I didn't even laugh till I got of the phone. :lol: :darkbeer:


----------



## catfishmafia76

bps3040 said:


> i was fishing with my buddy... Catfishing, well, i get the urge to pee. We are in a big cove with a dozen boats in it (bass tourny) no boats are near and we are aimed away from any of them, so, i casually whip it out and start taking care of business. I get a bite, set the hook, and the fish takes off. Well, it is headed toward the anchor/trolling motor, so, i cut off mid stream and run towards the front of the boat.... Well, my buddy screams like a girl and starts screaming " put your d**k in your pants, put your d**k in your pants"!! And takes off towards the other side of the boat! So, now i am laughing my ass off, trying to land this fish and he is running around the boat screaming like a little girl. I thought he was going to jump out of the boat.well, needless to say, we made an impression on the the other boats fishing the bass tourny, lol. They were pointing, laughing and giving the thumbs up. Every boat that came by the rest of the day had a "cutesy" comment, lol.


:roflmao:


----------



## Keesey

Had a mexican guy come in when I was gettin my arrows cut he asked for a bow and he couldnt a been much taller than me (5'6) he got the bow set to around 29" and drew back. He struggled to get it back and drew it all the way behind his head not his ear but entire head there were probly an inch or two behind the back of his head. When he was lettin down he just about chopped his ear off and told the guy behind the counter this is fine I'll take it. I still for the life a me cant figure out how he drew that far back it seems like it would hurt. I was actually a little nervous for him and the tech helping him


----------



## buckhunter2705

lazydogs said:


> if you are a right hander, I bet I would shoot your gun 6" high and 6" to the left. Just because snipers are trained to shoot the same as their partner, does not mean hunters are.....especially if you are right eye dominant and I'm left eye dominant


no snipers aren't trained to shoot the same way as there partners there trained how to shoot a gun properly any sniper can pick up another snipers gun and make a accurate kill shot with it. and right hand left hand shouldn't matter i can shoot my rifles shotguns and bows unless its my hoyt with the arm handle in the way both right and left handed accuratley enough to kill what i'm aiming at. my father in law has one eye and he has to shoot everything left handed due to it and he can shoot his sons, daughter (my wife) and my rifles and muzzleloader just as accurate as me and i'm right handed.


----------



## Brandon324

buckhunter2705 said:


> no snipers aren't trained to shoot the same way as there partners there trained how to shoot a gun properly any sniper can pick up another snipers gun and make a accurate kill shot with it. and right hand left hand shouldn't matter i can shoot my rifles shotguns and bows unless its my hoyt with the arm handle in the way both right and left handed accuratley enough to kill what i'm aiming at. my father in law has one eye and he has to shoot everything left handed due to it and he can shoot his sons, daughter (my wife) and my rifles and muzzleloader just as accurate as me and i'm right handed.


Have some of you people ever put a gun on a sled to shoot at the range. If you have the opportunity put the crosshairs right on the bullseye, ask someone else to look through the scope and see if it's still on the bullseye. I am pretty sure the answer will be yes. Do people even know how a scope works?


----------



## Cbell1

Double"O" said:


> LOL
> 
> a gentlman brought a deer to my Uncles Butcher shop one december night that he did not field dress. When he drug the deer up to the skinning shed i told him just gut it over there and i'll take care of it
> 
> this dude made about a 4-5 incision and completely gutted the deer through that hole...esophagus and all!...i was impressed and then some...dude turned out to be the chief of surgery at a local hospital


Now that would be a great video.


----------



## buckhunter2705

Brandon324 said:


> Have some of you people ever put a gun on a sled to shoot at the range. If you have the opportunity put the crosshairs right on the bullseye, ask someone else to look through the scope and see if it's still on the bullseye. I am pretty sure the answer will be yes. Do people even know how a scope works?


exactly what i'm talking about if your shoot a gun on a vise and have it sighted in and someone else shoots it and there 4 inches to the left or right or high or low it that person pulling or jerking that way. not the gun or scope but the person pulling the trigger thats why i talk about learning how to shoot a gun properly.


----------



## MDHunter70

buckhunter2705 said:


> exactly what i'm talking about if your shoot a gun on a vise and have it sighted in and someone else shoots it and there 4 inches to the left or right or high or low it that person pulling or jerking that way. not the gun or scope but the person pulling the trigger thats why i talk about learning how to shoot a gun properly.


Has nothing to with the scope at all. It has to do with how each person shoulders the weapon of choice and the rise of the stock to the check of that person. Also the length of pull and eye relief of the scope all play into how each person looks through the scope. Of course all other things will come into play too like jerking and pulling on the trigger...


----------



## Cajun83

buckhunter2705 said:


> exactly what i'm talking about if your shoot a gun on a vise and have it sighted in and someone else shoots it and there 4 inches to the left or right or high or low it that person pulling or jerking that way. not the gun or scope but the person pulling the trigger thats why i talk about learning how to shoot a gun properly.


On a sled, probably won't be able to tell the difference but everyone will shoot a rifle different when benchrested or unsupported. Unless the rifle has a floating barrel, any difference in hand position, hand pressure on the forestock will have an effect. Also, not everyones eyes are compatible. A buddy of mine can set his rifle up, and when I look through it, the crosshairs look crooked. Now, his rifle is set for him, when I shoot it out to say 150-200 yards or so, my shots will always be a bit off to the left. When he shoots my rifle, his shots are off to the right. Only able to tell when shooting benchrested as unsupported, we are both far too crappy to hold tight groups at any decent distance.


----------



## buckhunter2705

Cajun83 said:


> On a sled, probably won't be able to tell the difference but everyone will shoot a rifle different when benchrested or unsupported. Unless the rifle has a floating barrel, any difference in hand position, hand pressure on the forestock will have an effect. Also, not everyones eyes are compatible. A buddy of mine can set his rifle up, and when I look through it, the crosshairs look crooked. Now, his rifle is set for him, when I shoot it out to say 150-200 yards or so, my shots will always be a bit off to the left. When he shoots my rifle, his shots are off to the right. Only able to tell when shooting benchrested as unsupported, we are both far too crappy to hold tight groups at any decent distance.


well first off you shouldn't be gripping a fore stock it should just rest supported in your hand just like if it was sitting on a sand bag


----------



## Cajun83

buckhunter2705 said:


> well first off you shouldn't be gripping a fore stock it should just rest supported in your hand just like if it was sitting on a sand bag


Still causing pressure though... look, the point here is that no two people are going to have the same exact point of impact with the same rifle, without first making even the most minor adjustments.


----------



## buckhunter2705

Cajun83 said:


> Still causing pressure though... look, the point here is that no two people are going to have the same exact point of impact with the same rifle, without first making even the most minor adjustments.


i still have to agree it can be done and just laying a gun in the palm of your hand without gripping it doesn't add any pressure if its sighted in a vise in the same manor


----------



## Double"O"

had a funny one yesterday at work

guy comes to the gun counter with 6 packs of NAP bloodrunners (3blades) and asks me what i think of them. I tell "honestly sir i of all the broadheads we sell i haven't shot those however i have read a lot about them and they seem to perform very well in the field with proper tuning" he then says "look man, for $30 bucks per head they had better be awesome!" 

I said "sir flip that pack over and tell me what you see"
his reply was priceless!!! he says "not a word dude...not a damn word!"

I said "how many packs shall i put back for you?"


----------



## Brandon324

Cajun83 said:


> Still causing pressure though... look, the point here is that no two people are going to have the same exact point of impact with the same rifle, without first making even the most minor adjustments.


I agree that there may be a slight difference based on shooting style or more importantly ability but i feel real confident that if you sight your gun in PROPERLY. I will be able to kill a deer with it. I think someone said 4 inch's high and 4" to the left, I think this may have more to do with a shooters ability then being left or right handed. Fact is much like a well tuned bow, a good rifle will out shoot 99.9% of shooters out there. If there is a problem it is ussually operator error if the equip. has been properly maintained.


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## hoytviper06

Last week a customer came up to me and we began to talk about the encounters we have had since the opening of bow season. I listened intently to the man talk, then we started discussing bows, particularly the ones that shoot 360 FPS!!! I then realized that somthing funny was about happen. The cusomer told me that he just loved his martin cheetah, that was set on 42# shooting 340FPS!! with a 29 in draw! I thought to myself ok, everone has thier days, no problem just let it go. Then he began to tell me that his cheetah was so much better than his bear whitetail, because this bow only shot 315 FPS! I asked him if he had ever chronographed either of his bows, he told me ne I just base it off of the fact that I cannot see my arrow in flight!! and the speed of sight is like 300 FPS. I'm still laughing one week later.


----------



## buckmark23

beast said:


> this is straight from a Wis game warden,they came across two guys that had shot a buck, but didn't know how to gut it. they had cut the head off and had it in a bear hug and jumping up and down tryiing to shake the guts out through the neck.


That is hilarious.



BigHarry said:


> I'm a manager over the lodge at Dick's Sporting Goods and I have lots.
> 
> Guy asks me, "Where are your filters?" I respond "What kind?" He says, "You know, for your house furnace." I respond that "we don't carry those types of filters." Now mind you, this cat just walked under a massive sign (Dick's Sporting Goods), walks past football, baseball, camping and fishing to ask me this question in front of the gun wall containing 250 guns. After a 10 second delay he spins around and says, "Where in the hell am I? I thought this was Lowe's!"
> 
> Another guy, and I ***** you not, asks me, "Where are your exploding broadheads?" I'm thinking it's a joke and tell him that they only come in a package deal with the Rambo bow. It's no joke, guy gets pissy about me being a smartass.
> 
> And another, guy asks, "why don't you sell motorcycle helmets?" I say, "Because we don't sell motorcycles?" Thought that guy was gonna throw down right there!
> 
> I'm amazed still at how many people look down the barrels of firearms.


all of these are funny


----------



## buckhunter2705

Brandon324 said:


> I agree that there may be a slight difference based on shooting style or more importantly ability but i feel real confident that if you sight your gun in PROPERLY. I will be able to kill a deer with it. I think someone said 4 inch's high and 4" to the left, I think this may have more to do with a shooters ability then being left or right handed. Fact is much like a well tuned bow, a good rifle will out shoot 99.9% of shooters out there. If there is a problem it is ussually operator error if the equip. has been properly maintained.


i agree with you completely


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## jms375

The other day I was in the shop and a guy came in wanting new strings on his high country iron mace. The shop owners goes to put it in the press to start changing them out. The guy goes hey that bow can't be pressed. The owner is a high country dealer and tried to explain that it can and that it would need to be in order to swap strings. The guy said forget it you don't know what your doing and took his bow and left. 

I saw another guy come in the shop griping about why his bow wouldn't group. He was shooting 5 arrows all of which were of different brand, different weight and length. We couldn't convince him that was the problem though, he was dead set his bow was set up wrong. You just waste your breathe trying to help some.


----------



## boarman1

Well I had a guy come in my shop 3 weeks ago with his bow and needed me to look at his rest to see what is wrong with it and I went to look it over and I liked to have puked. He had more Code blue doe in heat on his bow that a hot doe during the rut. I thought I would never get over that smell.Needless to say my shop smelled like that for a few hours


----------



## Archer917

volgrad7 said:


> When i lived in Eastern Ky a gentlemen claimed to have killed a new state record archery deer and was driving around town with it in the back of his pickup "showing it off". I couldnt resist and drove to the local shop just as he was pulling in. I arrived just about the time the CO arrived to issue a LARGE ticket. The man killed a 5x5 Bull Elk. His little picukup was nearly dragging the ground. He had no idea it wasnt a deer. To top it all off he argued with the CO for a good half hour trying to explain it was in fact a Whitetail Buck. Ive never seen anyone so frustrated and astonished as that CO. This is indeed a true story


I remember when that happened! Poor old guy no one told him they had put them elk in thar! It looked like a deer!


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## Archer917

In Wallmart last year picking up something cant remember what but I will check out at sporting good counter cause theirs very few people ever there! A woman and man in there mid 30s was just in front of me asking cashier a question. Sir could you tell us where the See More dear stuff is? Cashier says the what? Guy says you know stuff in the white jug and says See More dear on the front! This is when I busted laughing wife smacking me had to walk off.


----------



## archerm3

buckhunter2705 said:


> well first off you shouldn't be gripping a fore stock it should just rest supported in your hand just like if it was sitting on a sand bag


So you never use a sling as a supporting method? Kinda hard to brace the back pressure of the sling if the rifle is supported in your hand like it was sitting on a sand bag. 
Im here to tell you having sights or scoped zero'd for one shooter does not guarantee being ZERO'D for another shooter. And shooting tight groups which IS the measure of accuracy is something completely different than the adjustment of a sight for zero. It has everything to do with stock weld, placement of the rifle butt, right hand grip, upper body mass and how it relates to recoil of the weapon, type of trigger squeeze...there are no two alike. If you can't shoot well enough with a rifle to tell, I don't think I will be able to make you understand it. When I was shooting 4 position NRA matches I would have to adjust the sights like clockwork according to the position used at the time. Also, zeroing in on a sandbag and then shooting off a hard surface or anything other than the very same sandbag will make your shots off. How much, well, not much, but it is measurable, depending on your abilities.

If your argument is that the difference is indistinguishable to the average mediocre shooter, well then maybe I'll buy that for $.01.


----------



## sloz

TTT for Great Thread!


----------



## Jellio

This is a little off topic but I had to work security the other night at a local Holloween haunted house deal. Basically standing in one spot telling people to watch there step as there is a 6" rise going threw a door. I counted that night there was 359 people that came threw so I had to say watch your step 359 times....of those 359 people 240 of those people still tripped themselves up on the step even after being told to "watch your step"......kind of amazing.


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## buckhunter2705

archerm3 said:


> So you never use a sling as a supporting method? Kinda hard to brace the back pressure of the sling if the rifle is supported in your hand like it was sitting on a sand bag.
> Im here to tell you having sights or scoped zero'd for one shooter does not guarantee being ZERO'D for another shooter. And shooting tight groups which IS the measure of accuracy is something completely different than the adjustment of a sight for zero. It has everything to do with stock weld, placement of the rifle butt, right hand grip, upper body mass and how it relates to recoil of the weapon, type of trigger squeeze...there are no two alike. If you can't shoot well enough with a rifle to tell, I don't think I will be able to make you understand it. When I was shooting 4 position NRA matches I would have to adjust the sights like clockwork according to the position used at the time. Also, zeroing in on a sandbag and then shooting off a hard surface or anything other than the very same sandbag will make your shots off. How much, well, not much, but it is measurable, depending on your abilities.
> 
> If your argument is that the difference is indistinguishable to the average mediocre shooter, well then maybe I'll buy that for $.01.


 well i got to marine scout snipers in my family that would disagree with that well one now the other is my x brother in law but he would still disagree with that


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## Quigly

One of the funniest ones that I herd of was a kid that came in to shoot. He got his stuff all ready and started to dry fire his bow like two or three times and the guy at the pro shop yelled over to him and asked what he was doing. The kid said that he was warming up his bow...


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## ChadMR82

I was in Gander Mountain one day looking at some new camo. In the next aisle there was a man and his wife/girlfriend with him. They obviously did not know I was close by when the man tries on pair of camo pants and says, "Honey, do these new camo pants make my $#$# look too big?" Much to his surprise the woman stated, "Not at all. In fact it's now camo so I can't even see it!" They immediately knew I was there when I could not hold back the laughter any longer.


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## JAS_65

I worked in a small shop in PA years back my buddie owned.. We had bags set up in the back to just set up bows, i.e. papper tune and such.. From one end to the bags is maybe 15 yrds.. Two big pillers in the center of the shop.. Two guys walk in with this older bow, they want it set up to hunt.. never shot a bow before, either one of them.. So my friends getting the one guy set up, and the other is standing with me watching.. They guy draws the bow back and at this time the other guy proceeds to step around the one piller to wach, now he's looking directly at his friend who is getting ready to shoot, I grab him by the arm and pull him out of the way.. guy then turns at me and says.*** you do that for.. replied you could've been shot in the head.. This dude looked at me and said.. WELL HE AINT SHOOTING BROAD HEADS IS HE ? :jeez: I couldn't help but laugh, as my buddie told them both to leave...


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## ItecKid

Ttt


----------



## Jay Sea

Talked a guy into smelling fox urine cover sent, ........never seen a face become so twisted. :laugh:


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## ttank0789

Jay Sea said:


> Talked a guy into smelling fox urine cover sent, ........never seen a face become so twisted. :laugh:


That is cruel!


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## hutch04

guys comes in shop asking if the camo style paint really sprays camo? being confused i acted like i didnt hear him and asked excuse me??? he asked again, does this really spray out the pattern on the can???? with a straight face i said o yea it sure does. he bought it all, come back the next day pissed. i did refund the money but told him he got a stupid answer for asking a stupid question.


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## Bow Me

lee martin said:


> A guy wearing a " Pillsbury Dope Boy " T-shirt walked up to me in my shop and asked for 44 magnesium bullets. I just replied----------" We are out "


I had to plug in an external keyboard because I spat water all over my laptop. Thanks


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## 22WVBOWHUNTER

Okay i was in the shop last week and a guy walked in to shoot at a 3d target we have that actually plays a video of animals and you have to wait to make the perfect shot. So he guy pays while im sittin there talkin to Jeremy(shop owner/buddy) and Jeremy says ill be in in a sec with the tips for u to use. The guy didnt hear him nd walked in. While jeremy is getting the tips he hears shooting start and he runs to the other side of the shop and opens the door to find his $3000 screen shot full of holes. The guy was shooting his broadheads into the screen and was rippin it to shreds lol. Jeremy said whyd did u do that and he promptly replied because I needed to broadhead tune not 3d tip tune:set1_rolf2: Now the guy has a $3000 bill and a court date lmao


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## pvoltmer

hahah! Wow! Incredible..



22WVBOWHUNTER said:


> Okay i was in the shop last week and a guy walked in to shoot at a 3d target we have that actually plays a video of animals and you have to wait to make the perfect shot. So he guy pays while im sittin there talkin to Jeremy(shop owner/buddy) and Jeremy says ill be in in a sec with the tips for u to use. The guy didnt hear him nd walked in. While jeremy is getting the tips he hears shooting start and he runs to the other side of the shop and opens the door to find his $3000 screen shot full of holes. The guy was shooting his broadheads into the screen and was rippin it to shreds lol. Jeremy said whyd did u do that and he promptly replied because I needed to broadhead tune not 3d tip tune:set1_rolf2: Now the guy has a $3000 bill and a court date lmao


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## pse85

i hate when you go to an archery shop and there are always store rats, the dudes that hang around all day bs'ing about hunts and what they have seen! i was getting my nock and whisker biscuit installed and this one guy would not stop bs'ing about how crappy my arrows were and how he could trail a deer with no blood trail like a hound!


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## Youngun15

shoulda told him to sniff your ass to see if it smelled the same as the crap he was dishing out


----------



## catfishmafia76

JAS_65 said:


> I worked in a small shop in PA years back my buddie owned.. We had bags set up in the back to just set up bows, i.e. papper tune and such.. From one end to the bags is maybe 15 yrds.. Two big pillers in the center of the shop.. Two guys walk in with this older bow, they want it set up to hunt.. never shot a bow before, either one of them.. So my friends getting the one guy set up, and the other is standing with me watching.. They guy draws the bow back and at this time the other guy proceeds to step around the one piller to wach, now he's looking directly at his friend who is getting ready to shoot, I grab him by the arm and pull him out of the way.. guy then turns at me and says.*** you do that for.. replied you could've been shot in the head.. This dude looked at me and said.. WELL HE AINT SHOOTING BROAD HEADS IS HE ? :jeez: I couldn't help but laugh, as my buddie told them both to leave...


Yeah, may have just wanted to let nature take it's course on that one. The weak and stupid are the first to go, to leave the strong and smart to breed. I honestly think thats why this world is so messed up now. To many safety features to stop natural selection. LMAO!


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## muzzyman1212

catfishmafia76 said:


> I honestly think thats why this world is so messed up now. To many safety features to stop natural selection. LMAO!


x2


----------



## Big Country

I could go on for days with things I have been asked or told in a pro shop, but I will share a regular occurrence that I see at sports and outdoor shows around the country.

For those of you that have been to the ATA, you have probably seen the broad head display that Crimson Talon has in their booth. It is a big chrome plated box with an air blower mounted inside it, and an arrow spinner on the top of the box. Well, I take that setup to various sport and outdoor shows around the US and show the different Crimson products. The short arrow with a broad head sits on the arrow spinner, and the air blower shoots a stream of air at the broad head, causing it to spin high rpm`s....just like it does when shot from a bow.

After telling dozens of full grown adults to NOT touch the broad head, I finally just started sitting a roll of paper towels on the stand. :wink: Yep, full grown adults would look at the spinning broad head, then at me, then back at the broad head.....finally they cannot take it any longer, and they stick their finger on the high spinning head! :lol:

Here`s your sign.......

Edit: Just found a pic of the display box set up at a show.......


----------



## kerrye

Back in the mid 60's my wife who was still in college took an archery course at SW MO State U. After we were married in 67, I started to get her into shooting shape for bowhunting. Found out that she had been taught to nock the arrow on the right side of the bow. (Fiberglass semi recurve that could be shot left or right) I had to drag out three bowhunting magazines and show her a lot of pictures to convince her that right handed archers nock on the left face of the bow.


----------



## kerrye

apache pilot said:


> or the kid who comes in with the old bow his dad gave him. you know like this one and asks if this is a good bow.


Hey, if old man Allen hadn't dreamed up that contraption, we might still be shooting recurves or stick bows.


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## scottk517

This is great...


----------



## PennArcher88

henry jay said:


> im looking for a smooth drawing,shock free,fast and forgiving matthews!hahahahahahahahahahaha


Whoooaaaa now, them are fightin words. Hahaha


----------



## 22WVBOWHUNTER

ttt


----------



## dlalexan

I worked in a shop years back and this was my favorite of many stories: Two customers come in with a crossbow and stated he needed his crossbow fixed. After looking at the cracked limbs and broken strings, I asked him how the string broke. He replied " well I was shooting in it while I was sitting on the couch and all of the sudden the string broke and parts flew all over the living room, It broke the lamp." as I stopped the conversation to tell him he should never shoot his bow inside the house he calmly replied " Don't worry it wasn't loaded" I quickly explained why you can't shoot any bow without an arrow. After some more conversation I finally got him to admit he was watching a hunting show and shooting at the deer on TV!


----------



## axeforce6

I had a guy tell me that he could take his Mathews ultra lite and put five arrows into a quarter at 100 yards so I was dang man that's awesome! I'm gonna bring my target next time and we can shoot. Well the next time I was over I brought my target I was shootin a bit and he got out his bow and I honestly didn't know what it was lol but we proceeded to shoot and he told me he has to " warm his bow up" and at that point I was thinking what is this idiot gonna do? Well... I saw him start to pull it back without an arrow in so I just ducked behind my truck and as soon as I got down I heard this god awful loud smack and an ear splitting howl and I looked he had blood running down his face and and half of a bow laying on the ground. I couldn't help to say I guess that's why I haven't been shooting so, I keep forgetting to warm my bow up!!!! 
This same guys had an older chevy that was lifted and what not. He swore up and down that it was cranking out 585 horses and that it was the baddest truck around. I know the guy that built the engine for him and he said it would be lucky to make 325 horses. Lol

Gotta love the winners like him.


----------



## d3ue3ce

BigHarry said:


> I'm a manager over the lodge at Dick's Sporting Goods and I have lots.
> 
> Guy asks me, "Where are your filters?" I respond "What kind?" He says, "You know, for your house furnace." I respond that "we don't carry those types of filters." Now mind you, this cat just walked under a massive sign (Dick's Sporting Goods), walks past football, baseball, camping and fishing to ask me this question in front of the gun wall containing 250 guns. After a 10 second delay he spins around and says, "Where in the hell am I? I thought this was Lowe's!"
> 
> Another guy, and I ***** you not, asks me, "Where are your exploding broadheads?" I'm thinking it's a joke and tell him that they only come in a package deal with the Rambo bow. It's no joke, guy gets pissy about me being a smartass.
> 
> And another, guy asks, "why don't you sell motorcycle helmets?" I say, "Because we don't sell motorcycles?" Thought that guy was gonna throw down right there!
> 
> *I'm amazed still at how many people look down the barrels of firearm*s.


Why would that amaze you?. . . If I am interested in a gun, I always check the barrel. . 

Make sure gun is clear, stick a piece of paper in chamber and look down the end of barrel. . . you can see EVERY detail. . 

You would not believe how many "new" guns at gander, dicks, cabelas, etc have some sort of rust or damage in the barrel. .


----------



## Christopher67

axeforce6 said:


> I had a guy tell me that he could take his Mathews ultra lite and put five arrows into a quarter at 100 yards so I was dang man that's awesome! I'm gonna bring my target next time and we can shoot. Well the next time I was over I brought my target I was shootin a bit and he got out his bow and I honestly didn't know what it was lol but we proceeded to shoot and he told me he has to " warm his bow up" and at that point I was thinking what is this idiot gonna do? Well... I saw him start to pull it back without an arrow in so I just ducked behind my truck and as soon as I got down I heard this god awful loud smack and an ear splitting howl and I looked he had blood running down his face and and half of a bow laying on the ground. I couldn't help to say I guess that's why I haven't been shooting so, I keep forgetting to warm my bow up!!!!
> This same guys had an older chevy that was lifted and what not. He swore up and down that it was cranking out 585 horses and that it was the baddest truck around. I know the guy that built the engine for him and he said it would be lucky to make 325 horses. Lol
> 
> Gotta love the winners like him.




*WOW!* This sounds like my in-laws LOL! Are you from Maine LOL? :set1_rolf2:


----------



## axeforce6

Christopher67 said:


> *WOW!* This sounds like my in-laws LOL! Are you from Maine LOL? :set1_rolf2:


Haha. Nope Kentucky.


----------



## axeforce6

I just recently got a new peice of property to hunt and the owners nephew was down there all dress in his camo and looking like he was ready to hunt. I let him know that I was just gonna go find me a spot to hunt and I wouldn't be there very long. Well he got to telling me where some goods spots were and he then told me that there is a certain spot that he always hunts and that he would like to keep it to himself and I assured him it was no problem. As we just finished talking he pulls out this box of greasy chicken. You know the kind from the gas stations. Well went town on these things and with a mouthful of food he also mentioned to me that he was real particular about how he hunted while wiping the greasy hands on his pants.... Lol. I couldn't help but say I can tell. He also informed that he was a guide at the outfitter too. Lol. 
What a winner!


----------



## apache pilot

:darkbeer:super bump!


----------



## buckslayer1210

Cajun83 said:


> Still causing pressure though... look, the point here is that no two people are going to have the same exact point of impact with the same rifle, without first making even the most minor adjustments.


No the point is that if you sight a scoped gun in it will be sighted in for all that use it. Yes everyone shoots differently, but if you put the crosshairs in the same spot as the other guy it WILL hit the same spot regardless of eye relief, cheek placement, etc. The glass in that scope doesn't care who's shooting it.


----------



## beast

22WVBOWHUNTER said:


> Okay i was in the shop last week and a guy walked in to shoot at a 3d target we have that actually plays a video of animals and you have to wait to make the perfect shot. So he guy pays while im sittin there talkin to Jeremy(shop owner/buddy) and Jeremy says ill be in in a sec with the tips for u to use. The guy didnt hear him nd walked in. While jeremy is getting the tips he hears shooting start and he runs to the other side of the shop and opens the door to find his $3000 screen shot full of holes. The guy was shooting his broadheads into the screen and was rippin it to shreds lol. Jeremy said whyd did u do that and he promptly replied because I needed to broadhead tune not 3d tip tune:set1_rolf2: Now the guy has a $3000 bill and a court date lmao


believe it or not, I know of a shop that this has happened twice!


----------



## beast

buckslayer1210 said:


> No the point is that if you sight a scoped gun in it will be sighted in for all that use it. Yes everyone shoots differently, but if you put the crosshairs in the same spot as the other guy it WILL hit the same spot regardless of eye relief, cheek placement, etc. The glass in that scope doesn't care who's shooting it.


wrong!ever hear of cantering? if they hold the crosshair level, then yes the will impact the same, but most do not.


----------



## MrWinkles

74treed said:


> An they wondered why some us did not want full inclusin of x-bows in archery, its not the weapon, *its the individual behind it.*


You state that its the individual at fault...yet you want to ban the tool.

"Dont ban the murderer, ban the guns!"
Smart.




PA Dave said:


> I'm trying to push out of my mind the question of how often the clueless clerk outfits the clueless customer and no one ever straightens either of them out. We share the woods with them.


+1
Makes me sad to be a member of this site.
Like the member who knew another hunter was planning on using bow hangers as tree steps and didnt say anything.
Hes(potentially) going to fall to his death...and you could have(maybe) prevented it.


----------



## TailChaser

So me and my wife once stop in a place in Arkansas for a bathroom stop. There's a line, 2-3 people, to both mens and womens. I get to the front of my line and the wife's next in line. I go, come out, you still standing here waiting? She said ye'll I'll tell you later.

So some hillbilly (not sure if it was a man or woman) comes in and is jumping everywhere and says oh man oh man, I gotta goooo. Miss, can I just pee in the sink beside you when the door opens? lol. My wife says, you just go ahead.


----------



## buckslayer1210

beast said:


> wrong!ever hear of cantering? if they hold the crosshair level, then yes the will impact the same, but most do not.


You are obviously missing the point. If you sight in a gun using a vise that gun WILL hit the same exact spot regardless. You are arguing shooting styles. That does not equate to whether or not a perfectly zeroed rifle will hit the same point if shot by 2 different people. If they aim at the same spot it WILL. Why don't you try it with a laser boresighter.


----------



## dwagaman

Great thread..:bump:


----------



## crankn101

...


----------



## fuzz2moe

While not archery related, but "CERVIX" related, A younger co-worker was watching as a female co worker was walking away from us. He turned to me and said " Hey Fuzzy, check out the scrotum on that!" I damn near pi$$ed myself laughing so hard and explained to him that scrotums are a man only thing. The boy just ain't right lol.


----------



## Blackhawkhunter

I was at my local archery club talking to some new members. One who was shooting a recurve (and not very well) said he and his mate were getting back into bowhunting. He said it's organic and more sporting. Then he says with a 30/30 you can kill em at 500 yards but with a bow you gotta get to within 150. lmao


----------



## Blackhawkhunter

fuzz2moe said:


> While not archery related, but "CERVIX" related, A younger co-worker was watching as a female co worker was walking away from us. He turned to me and said " Hey Fuzzy, check out the scrotum on that!" I damn near pi$$ed myself laughing so hard and explained to him that scrotums are a man only thing. The boy just ain't right lol.


Not true! My ex mother in law had one.


----------



## gdcpony

beast said:


> wrong!ever hear of cantering? if they hold the crosshair level, then yes the will impact the same, but most do not.


Also wrong. There are too many factors involved. Cheek weld, hand grips, trigger control, breathing, and on, and on. I would never trust a sighted in rifle unless I sighted it in myself. You might get by on deer under 100yds (I am sure you could pipe up with stories of the 30-06 that some guy took out and shot 1200yds trusting his friend's sighting, and I'll laugh and pretend to believe it), but it is still going to be off somewhat unless the two shooters shoot identically.


> You are obviously missing the point. If you sight in a gun using a vise that gun WILL hit the same exact spot regardless. You are arguing shooting styles. That does not equate to whether or not a perfectly zeroed rifle will hit the same point if shot by 2 different people. If they aim at the same spot it WILL. Why don't you try it with a laser boresighter.


I boresighter is not shooting the weapon. Trust me, even if two people aim to the same spot on the same weapon the chances of an identical POI consistently is about nil. In a clamped down vise where the shooter has no input you will get the rifle's precision. Even a good REST though will show differences. I could name multiple occasions this has been demonstrated in my shooting. Even two excellent shots (which I am not) will shoot great, but not to the same POI. You guys are putting the gear over the shooter which everyone knows is the biggest mistake you can make in any sport.


----------



## SCFox

We had a guy come into the shop last summer with bow that was about 13 years old. He wanted to know if we could fix his limb. When we asked what was wrong with it, he said he just wanted to know if we could 'clean' the limb up so he could re-paint it. When he took it out of the case, I noticed the top limb was completely wrapped in duct tape. Seems the limb had splintered and he used 'GreatStuff' foam to fix the splinters. Squirted that crap all over the limb and wrapped it in tape. He wanted me to take off the tape and sand down the foam so he could paint it up and get back to shootin.

SCFox


----------



## VAHUNTER01

dustoffer said:


> Yes--they live among us, and they vote too!!!


i have seen proof of this as well


----------



## broadfieldpoint

BuckKilla said:


> why don't you carry Bowtech? hahahaha still gets me every time



LOL....now, now ...now.


----------



## broadfieldpoint

This thread is in top 5 ever....too good.


----------



## Hoyt_Man_32

I would have to say my favorite one of all is about our indoor bow range. I had a guy not too long ago wanting shoot a couple of different bows to see which one he liked best, so we sent into the range. He asked "so what is the effective range of bows"? I told him depending on how good you are with a bow anywhere between 30 and 60 yards. He said "oh ok, so how far is it to the target about 55 yards"? Trying very hard not to bust out laughing I said "no sir our range is only 20 yards". After he left I lost it. haha


----------



## Badger Pete

I gun hunt with my father, brother and brother in law. A few years ago my brother brought a friend to hunt for a couple of days. This guy hasn't hunted much and in the later part of the gun season we drive deer to standers. Well, knowing this guy hasn't shot many deer, we put him in a prime stand and sure as hell we push a spike buck by him. He makes a good shot and the deer goes down. We're standing around the buck and I ask if he's ever gutted a deer before because I'll take care of it for him if necessary. Now my brother and his buddy are in their 50's, I'm in my 40's. The guy who shot the deer said, "Hell yeah, I've gutted lots of deer" and proceeds to pull a 15" Rambo knife out of his pack. He bends down to get started and l look at my brother who gives me the "don't say a word" look. 

We still laugh about that one every year.


----------



## Ghost1313

Blackhawkhunter said:


> Not true! My ex mother in law had one.


yeah but it was your father in Law's and it was in a jar in the fridge !!:mg:


----------



## Badger Pete

Another one.....

Checked my bow specs after the initial purchase and shooting for a couple months and the brace height and axle to axle were out of spec.....Mathews Ovation. I don't trust the bow shop that I used to frequent so I got on line and read about twisting the cable and strings to get it back in spec. I brought it into the shop to have the owner/tech do the work but he said that you can't twist the strings because the Zebra string has one color twisted clockwise and the other color counter clockwise and twisting the string would untwist one side.


----------



## e-manhunt

Not bowhunting, and not a shop story:

Took a know-it-all guy pheasant hunting: Hunted most of the day and he never fired a shot. Finally he asked when it was that we loaded our guns -- he thought we didn't load up until the bird was flying.


----------



## animal killer

Badger Pete said:


> Another one.....
> 
> Checked my bow specs after the initial purchase and shooting for a couple months and the brace height and axle to axle were out of spec.....Mathews Ovation. I don't trust the bow shop that I used to frequent so I got on line and read about twisting the cable and strings to get it back in spec. I brought it into the shop to have the owner/tech do the work but he said that you can't twist the strings because the Zebra string has one color twisted clockwise and the other color counter clockwise and twisting the string would untwist one side.


thats a good one right there


----------



## 123 4/8 P&Y

I don't know if I've told this one on here before but it's about myself and my first crossbow experience. About 8 years ago I worked in the archery department at a Cabela's and we had a very short range, like 10 ft. just for customers to get a feel for how a bow shoots and so we had a safe place to time drop aways and so forth. Anyway, I had a customer come in and wanted to take a look at a $1,200 TenPoint crossbow. We had the one he wanted to see but it was disassembled in a box in the back. So I got it out and was putting it together as the instruction manual explained (it was my first time). I was struggling getting the cables into the track and getting the bow slid onto the stock at the same time. After I got the bow on and put in the big bolt to hold the two main parts together, I noticed that I forgot something. I can't remember for sure what I forgot, but I ended up having to take the crossbow back apart and put it back together. Finally after like 20 minutes of struggling with this thing the customer wants to see me shoot it. We go back to the range and with the customer, his 2 nephews, and my department lead behind me watching, I get it cocked with the built-in crank and load a bolt. I release the safety, squeeze the trigger, and WHAM CLANK BOING WHAP WHOOSH WHOOSH WHOOSH!!! The bow flew off the stock and bounced off the target butt, then proceeded to spin around on the floor like a coin. As it turns out, after I took the crossbow apart the second time the main bolt rolled under a catalog on the counter where I couldn't see it and I forgot to put it back in. After we thoroughly inspected the bow and put it back on the stock I shot it a few times. Then the customer shot it and actually liked it. I'll never forget what he said, "I'll take one, but not that one!" How embarrassing. The crossbow ended up in the Bargain Cave. My department manager actually didn't seem to be mad about the incident. It's not like they ever had a training program on crossbow assembly, just the school of hard knocks.


----------



## ReconLdr

I am a total noob but, I found most of the posts here to be the funniest of any forum I belong to...

I don't get all of the humor, what is funny about:
1) The bowtech questions?
2) What is wrong with a PSE Brute? (I just got one)
3) T. J. Hunter?

On to my funny fishing story:

My dad is a really old fashioned guy. Nothing "new" is ever good or better than the "old days." We have always been into hunting and fishing. My dad has hundreds of fishing lures of all types and sizes but never uses any of them. (he is afraid they will get lost) He carts his tackle boxes out fishing and only ever uses the hooks and split shots.

One summer (I am guessing this was almost 30 years ago) we were fishing in the Delaware river and not catching much of anything on live bait. Me being 10ish years old, I got bored after a few hours of limited action. I decided to ask permission to "try one of his lures." I explained that we always see the guys on TV catching fish on lures, they obviously work at least some of the time. 

After griping and mumbling about "... damn kids... new gadgets..." he agrees to let me use one, but if I loose it, it comes out of my allowance. (my dad always had deep pockets and short arms) I grab the biggest lure in the box IIRC it was a Rebel of some sort. When I tied this thing on, my fishing pole bent from the weight of it. My dad yells "what the hell do you think you're gonna catch with that thing?" I replied, "I don't know what, but I know it's gotta be big to try and eat this." I casted that thing way out there and started to reel it in. My second or third cast, sure enough something hit. My dad noticing me fighting with this thing yells "I told you, you'd get stuck." That is until the Muskie came to the top of the water... (it was at this point that we realized that I neglected to put the net in the boat) My dad tells me to get it close to him and he would try to grab it. When we got a good look at it we realized just how big this Muskie was. My dad tried to grab it and it swam between his legs, causing the other set of trebble hooks to catch his inner thigh very deeply... So, if you can imagine what it would be like to have a fishing lure stuck in your inner thigh with the other end in the mouth of a 30+ inch Muskie... My dad being half drunk, screaming as the fish tried to swim away, me screaming in excitement (I didn't know about the hooks in his leg, I thought he was screaming about the size of the fish) as I was pulling the lure in the other direction. Then all of a sudden, there was no more splashing as I saw the fish swim away, I was standing there with my pole and only my dad on the other end...

Now to the funny part. We took my dad to the ER, and just about every doc, nurse and other employee came in and asked us "how did this happen again???" My dad still appologizes to me for loosing that fish even though he specifically told me to put the net in the boat.


----------



## archerm3

buckslayer1210 said:


> You are obviously missing the point. If you sight in a gun using a vise that gun WILL hit the same exact spot regardless. You are arguing shooting styles. That does not equate to whether or not a perfectly zeroed rifle will hit the same point if shot by 2 different people. If they aim at the same spot it WILL. Why don't you try it with a laser boresighter.


No, you are missing the point. 

1. Put that gun in a vise sideways, 90 degrees from level. It WILL not hit the where the crosshairs are aiming. It may be repeatable but the scope can only be sighted for relative level and shot in the exact same level position. You are going to end up with a yardage adjustment turning into a windage error otherwise.

2. A gun sighted in a gun vise, is ONLY sighted in for shooting in that gun vise. Everyone's body recoils differently due to the way they grip the rifle, upper body mass, etc, everyone will have different parallax errors, will cause a rifle to need sight adjustments from person to person, and also, different shooting positions with the same person.

Some people are just not good enough shooters to notice the difference.


----------



## apache pilot

holy crap guys i didnt know it was ressurrected. thanks:shade:


----------



## apache pilot

had a guy walk in the shop one day and he picked up a primos power crystal turkey call. he paid for it and left. a little while later he brought it back in to get his money back. he told me it didnt make any sounds and it was the hardest call he has ever tried. i replied, thats because you have to take that little piece of sandpaper thats included and scratch the glass to make it have friction against the striker............ :doh:


----------



## $bowhunter$

was at walmart getting some ammo and waiting for someone i walked over to the archery stuff. well this guys standing there with a childrens bear bow. one of the ones with plastic strings. holdin a couple arrows. he looks at me and askes what pointy things i use. i ell him and he simply grabs a pack of $7 broadheads off the shelf. then he simply looks and me and says "im gonna go poke me a hole in a big one with this new stuff" i just give him a funny look and say good luck with that.......


----------



## advancearchery

henry jay said:


> im looking for a smooth drawing,shock free,fast and forgiving matthews!hahahahahahahahahahaha


That would be a Z7:teeth:


----------



## cradicioni

Not archery, but this year day before rifle season opened I was at a shop/indoor range about to site in my gun. Guy walks up (middle aged man that looked sort of new to hunting) with a brand new rifle and scope that he apparently just bought and asked the man behind the counter to bore sight his gun for him, which he does and told him there was no charge. The man behind the counter started to get him a target so he could go to the range and shoot. The guy said naw I am good. Man behind the counter said sir you still needed to sight it in on the range, its not sighted in. As he was making his way to the door, the guy said I trust you did it right.:mg: After he left, we were all just standing there with our mouths wide open.


----------



## sfbandit

im only on page 5 of this tread its funny as heck. well i hate bp but i went there last year to get some redhead arrows cut for my son, and there were these two guys talking about there martin beangels and how they were the best bow bp sold, i was looking at the bear attack just checking it out an all and this moron walked up to me and said you dont wont that its a bear get a real bow and get martin. this is where i almost peed myself from laughing i asked to shoot it knowing these morons would come in there so they could see, well i got the attack in my hand and put an arrow in the bisquit hooked up my release. i drew the bow and said not bad for a bear, looking right at these two morons.
well i let arrow go and pop pop pop was all we heard. me and the tech went to look at the target and couldnt find the arrow about that time the manager and security came busting in the room. my arrow had just so happen to hit between the seems and went down stairs and hit the side of a boat. when i was walking back two the counter to talk smack with the tech and pickup my arrows i saw those same two talking to someother customers saying how the attack was the best bow.


----------



## triker

sent a 18 year man at work to get me a philips screw driver gone about 20 minutes came back and said i cant find one they
all say craftmans true story


----------



## ohiobuckboy65

Hoytbowman1 said:


> Not all of them..........Razor Edge bow. My son has one of these and when we got it home I was looking at it and setting it up for him and the draw length wasn't set the same on both cams.


 happened to me 2


----------



## apache pilot

ttt


----------



## Crow31

I've done some pretty stupid stuff before. One time I was showing off a new bow sling I got, it was kinda like heavy duty rubber tubing that slips over the cams. My buddy asked if it just slipped off wen u draw. Isaid I don't know let's try. So I draw the bow and right wen the cams start to break over he said stop but it was to late and the sling got sucked up into the limb. Wen I tried to let it down the string popped off the cam. He got a good laugh. 
At a shoot last year it was my turn to shoot and me and my buddy were in the middle of a conversation. We got finished talking and without thinking I raised my bow and shot. POW! I forgot to nock an arrow. A guy at the next target hollers hey they don't allow .22's at this range. How embarassing!


----------



## BearSlayr

I was on lunch break at work and a few guys and i were sharing hunting stories and talking about our bow set ups when this other guy crashes our conversation. He proceeds to tell us about how powerful his crossbow was and that our compound bows were junk. He told us that he can shoot through a 3/4 inch sheet of plywood with this thing. We ask him what kind of crossbow he has? He tells us he shoots a Barnett Panzer!!!!! Well one of my buddies almost choked on a mouthful of chocolate milk after hearing this, he had to run to the locker room to laugh up a storm. After sensing that this guy was full of Sh#$ i wanted to hear what else this poor fool could possibly come up with. He then tells us the biggest and i mean biggest BS hunting story ever told and it went like this:

He told us that he was deer hunting one day and that he heard something running through the bush behind him. When he turned to find out what it was, he seen that it was a doe running full throttle. He raised his crossbow and shot it in mid air while it was jumping and nailed it to the TREE!!!! Well that was it for us we had to get away from this nutbar to laugh our freakin heads off. I still don't know to this day how he could of told us that story with a straight face!


----------



## ItecKid

Ttt


----------



## BearSlayr

ttt


----------



## apache pilot

i bet big country has plenty of stories to fill up about 10 pages of this thread!! bring them on mitch!!!!!!!!!!


----------



## Mboz05

A guy came into the shop with his son the day before bow opener in iowa. His son had a fuse kids bow at around 20 pounds and the rest was on backwards, broken, and very off center. He was looking for a good broadhead because he was taking his son out hunting the next morning....couldnt believe what I was hearing


----------



## hunt1687

NV200 said:


> Was at the shop the other day and over heard a funny phone call to a tech. She answered the phone and sat there with a blank stare on her face until she said;"Sir you will need to bring that down for us to look at, I can't really help you over the phone". When she hung up she looked at me and the owner of the shop and said; "That guy needs a new string for his Single Cam Recurve?"
> 
> Now I'm not that new to archery and I know there are some weird old bows out there but I've never heard of a singe cam recurve. We had a good laugh.


As I go back a few years I remember seeing advertising for a bow the bottom 1/2 of it was a compound and the top half was a recurve. this was maybe in the 80's. I never saw one in person and obviously they didn't catch on.


----------



## tman704

hunt1687 said:


> As I go back a few years I remember seeing advertising for a bow the bottom 1/2 of it was a compound and the top half was a recurve. this was maybe in the 80's. I never saw one in person and obviously they didn't catch on.


I remember that as well, it had a loop in the top that the string was attached to and a cam on the bottom.


----------



## RCL

hunt1687 said:


> As I go back a few years I remember seeing advertising for a bow the bottom 1/2 of it was a compound and the top half was a recurve. this was maybe in the 80's. I never saw one in person and obviously they didn't catch on.


----------



## Finger_Flinger

123 4/8 P&Y said:


> I don't know if I've told this one on here before but it's about myself and my first crossbow experience. About 8 years ago I worked in the archery department at a Cabela's and we had a very short range, like 10 ft. just for customers to get a feel for how a bow shoots and so we had a safe place to time drop aways and so forth. Anyway, I had a customer come in and wanted to take a look at a $1,200 TenPoint crossbow. We had the one he wanted to see but it was disassembled in a box in the back. So I got it out and was putting it together as the instruction manual explained (it was my first time). I was struggling getting the cables into the track and getting the bow slid onto the stock at the same time. After I got the bow on and put in the big bolt to hold the two main parts together, I noticed that I forgot something. I can't remember for sure what I forgot, but I ended up having to take the crossbow back apart and put it back together. Finally after like 20 minutes of struggling with this thing the customer wants to see me shoot it. We go back to the range and with the customer, his 2 nephews, and my department lead behind me watching, I get it cocked with the built-in crank and load a bolt. I release the safety, squeeze the trigger, and WHAM CLANK BOING WHAP WHOOSH WHOOSH WHOOSH!!! The bow flew off the stock and bounced off the target butt, then proceeded to spin around on the floor like a coin. As it turns out, after I took the crossbow apart the second time the main bolt rolled under a catalog on the counter where I couldn't see it and I forgot to put it back in. After we thoroughly inspected the bow and put it back on the stock I shot it a few times. Then the customer shot it and actually liked it. I'll never forget what he said, "I'll take one, but not that one!" How embarrassing. The crossbow ended up in the Bargain Cave. My department manager actually didn't seem to be mad about the incident. It's not like they ever had a training program on crossbow assembly, just the school of hard knocks.


Maybe if all crossbows were suppose to shoot like that, then the legions of elitist compound archers would finally accept them...


----------



## ManHunterUSMC

lee martin said:


> A Soccer mom came into out shop one morning and asked for Mossy Oak Break Out camo.


So she wanted to camouflage her "break out?" Mossy Oak would def work for that... but not much else... lol


----------



## ReconLdr

BearSlayr said:


> I was on lunch break at work and a few guys and i were sharing hunting stories and talking about our bow set ups when this other guy crashes our conversation. He proceeds to tell us about how powerful his crossbow was and that our compound bows were junk. He told us that he can shoot through a 3/4 inch sheet of plywood with this thing. We ask him what kind of crossbow he has? He tells us he shoots a Barnett Panzer!!!!! Well one of my buddies almost choked on a mouthful of chocolate milk after hearing this, he had to run to the locker room to laugh up a storm. After sensing that this guy was full of Sh#$ i wanted to hear what else this poor fool could possibly come up with. He then tells us the biggest and i mean biggest BS hunting story ever told and it went like this:
> 
> *He told us that he was deer hunting one day and that he heard something running through the bush behind him. When he turned to find out what it was, he seen that it was a doe running full throttle. He raised his crossbow and shot it in mid air while it was jumping and nailed it to the TREE!!!! Well that was it for us we had to get away from this nutbar to laugh our freakin heads off. I still don't know to this day how he could of told us that story with a straight face! *


Now this ^^^ is funny. The sad thing is some of these people believe the bullsh1t they spew.

Again not archery but definately a *** moment:

I was in my buddies gun shop yesterday picking up some some reloading supplies. When I arrived my buddy put the stuff I ordered on the counter and started to ring me up... a customer who was looking at cheap pistols (he had a Hipoint and a Lorcin on the counter) noticed that I was buying 2lbs of powder and a few boxes of bullets most were FMJ but 1 box of 500 JHPs....

Customer: Why do you need armor piercing ammo?
Me: Excuse me?
Customer: Those hollow points are meant to penetrate better than FMJ...
Me: *** are you talking about?
Customer: Hollow points will penetrate body armor...
Me: No they won't... they are designed to transfer more of the bullets energy into the target which means less penetration....
Customer: Don't tell me, I tested it...
Me: What did you test?
Customer: I bought some 9mm Black Talons and shot them through a SAPI plate...
Me: Dude, a SAPI plate will stop rifle bullets.
Customer: Rifle bullets don't have hollow points and....
Me: Dude, just go away...


----------



## tiny52

okiehunt said:


> When guys come in shooting a 310 IBO bow and swear up and down that their bow is shooting 320fps and that they have shot it through a chrono. I cant help but throw the chrono out there and say lets see and watch their mouth's drop when it says around 240fps...


Classic!
Get this more than anything


----------



## ImpaleAScale

I could fill this thread of with bowfishing Q&As

How Do I get my arrow back when the fish swims off with it, is pretty common.

Can I shoot these arrows out of my hunting bow......at Deer
(Sure, Good Luck with that)


----------



## dbowhunter

This happened a while back but a guy came into the shop to get into bowhunting. He was being set up by the shop owner.He set up the bow for the guy. Now he needed arrows. He was at full draw to see the length of the arrow he needed. The shop owner told him to to let down slowly. He proceeded to let dow and released the hand on the riser. The riser came back, hit the guy on the forehead(guy dropped to the floor) then the bow hit the owner in the hand breaking his thumb. It wasn't too funny right then but we always get a good laugh about it now.


----------



## bryanbeck

glock-cop said:


> I went with my buddy to go check out bows with him and he grabs a brand new Drenalin starts to draw it and he gets it half way back and all of a sudden HE LETS GO!!!!:mg:
> I thought it slipped out, and i asked him what happened, he said i let go of it, i was like ya i heard.
> I asked him why did you let go of it? He said i wanted to hear how quiet it was.
> and when he said that i was speechless.
> The owner came over and was furious and we told him what happened. He pulled me aside and asked if my buddy was "slower". I died laughing.
> He checked the bow over and it was all good thank god.
> We get back to the truck and he goes "I wouldn't buy that bow, its way to loud" He was dead serious.
> 
> I told him if he ever tries that with one of my bows he is a dead man:set1_punch::dead::angry:


my cousin three years back went into, bps in cincinnati ohio. before we walked in he said i wanna show you how ignorant some of these guys are here.. now most of them were highschool kids working.. so he goes through an checks a few bows, out an asks can we take these three into range salesman says sure.. we get into the range an my cousin as straight faced as can be says i wanna test fire before i shoot any arrows. again the salesman says hey thats fine.. an low an behold he pulls first one back lets go, salesman hands him second bow an he repeats, then he is handed the third bow. as he is drawing it back another guy walks in an stops him from dry firing the third bow.. then he begins to explain to my cousin the danger of doing so.. my cousin as calmly as he cans looks at him an says i know the dangers. i just wanna prove you will let any moron work the archery counter.. an try to hand advice to people when they have no clue what they are talking about.. then proceeds to say this guy here has no business working that counter or setting up any bow for anyone..


----------



## JMaier

bryanbeck said:


> my cousin three years back went into, bps in cincinnati ohio. before we walked in he said i wanna show you how ignorant some of these guys are here.. now most of them were highschool kids working.. so he goes through an checks a few bows, out an asks can we take these three into range salesman says sure.. we get into the range an my cousin as straight faced as can be says i wanna test fire before i shoot any arrows. again the salesman says hey thats fine.. an low an behold he pulls first one back lets go, salesman hands him second bow an he repeats, then he is handed the third bow. as he is drawing it back another guy walks in an stops him from dry firing the third bow.. then he begins to explain to my cousin the danger of doing so.. my cousin as calmly as he cans looks at him an says i know the dangers. i just wanna prove you will let any moron work the archery counter.. an try to hand advice to people when they have no clue what they are talking about.. then proceeds to say this guy here has no business working that counter or setting up any bow for anyone..



That's not true everywhere... You do something like that at the BPS in Denver and they'll make you pay for all three bows. Just sayin...


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## PA Dave

bryanbeck said:


> my cousin three years back went into, bps in cincinnati ohio. before we walked in he said i wanna show you how ignorant some of these guys are here.. now most of them were highschool kids working.. so he goes through an checks a few bows, out an asks can we take these three into range salesman says sure.. we get into the range an my cousin as straight faced as can be says i wanna test fire before i shoot any arrows. again the salesman says hey thats fine.. an low an behold he pulls first one back lets go, salesman hands him second bow an he repeats, then he is handed the third bow. as he is drawing it back another guy walks in an stops him from dry firing the third bow.. then he begins to explain to my cousin the danger of doing so.. my cousin as calmly as he cans looks at him an says i know the dangers. i just wanna prove you will let any moron work the archery counter.. an try to hand advice to people when they have no clue what they are talking about.. then proceeds to say this guy here has no business working that counter or setting up any bow for anyone..


In all fairness, to go in and dry fire bows knowing full well that those bows will be sold to someone else down the road...well, the kid behind the counter can at least claim ignorance. Your cousin proved more about himself than he did about that kid behind the counter. I wouldn't be proud of that story.


----------



## bowtechhunter

henry jay said:


> im looking for a smooth drawing,shock free,fast and forgiving matthews!hahahahahahahahahahaha


rotflmao!!!!!!!


----------



## buckbuck419

Last year was my first year out in about 4 years. Haven't used a climber either in a while. I went to some public land with 2 friends. Got out to where I was going to set up my stand and it all started out bad. Had the bottom part of the stand level so about 10 ft up the tree the bottom is outta wack. I was a moron and couldn't figure out why it was all screwed up. So I'm already pissed and hang my bow on the stand (older PSE so didn't care too much). My bow falls off the stand. I had an arrow in my hand and threw it down. Out of all places it hits my string. "Thwang". I couldn't believe it!!! My friends said they heard it and was a deer walking towards me at the same time. Never saw the deer but I scratched last season off as a wash and bought a new bow this year. You shoulda hear the ***** I got for that. Kind of a long story but was I an idiot!!!


----------



## BLan

PA Dave said:


> In all fairness, to go in and dry fire bows knowing full well that those bows will be sold to someone else down the road...well, the kid behind the counter can at least claim ignorance. Your cousin proved more about himself than he did about that kid behind the counter. I wouldn't be proud of that story.


Very much agree.


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## 12 Gage

My 10-year old son, being excited about learning to shoot a bow, had a tendency to pick up bows and try to pull them back. Of course, most of the time the bows will have a zip-tie to avoid just that, but there seems to always be a bow without one. Anyway, I told him that this can really jack the bow up, and now he knows better.

We're in Bass Pro one day and I'm studying some item I was looking at, and had the following conversation:

"Dad, what is it called when you pull the bow back without an arrow?"
"Dry firing, if you actually shoot it, or accidentally let the string go." (I'm still focusing on the item, and not looking at him)
"And you're not supposed to do that because it can mess up the bow, right?"
"Yep, but I guess you can do whatever you can afford to pay for."

At this point I looked up and saw, just a few feet away from us, a grown man doing exactly what my son had been asking me about (WITHOUT A RELEASE, mind you). He had heard the whole conversation and had a flushed and embarrassed look on his face as he very carefully let the bow relax. I just shook my head and looked back down at the item in my hand.

After we left and were laughing about it in the car, my son told me that the guy had actually taken the bow down, pulled out his pocket knife and cut the zip-tie off so he could try the bow out.

I just made sure to tell me son how proud I am of him.


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## DrumdudeLarry

beast said:


> wrong!ever hear of cantering? if they hold the crosshair level, then yes the will impact the same, but most do not.


Cantering is the 3-beat gait of a horse. You might mean canting.


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## apache pilot

yep


----------



## buckslayer1210

Badger Pete said:


> I gun hunt with my father, brother and brother in law. A few years ago my brother brought a friend to hunt for a couple of days. This guy hasn't hunted much and in the later part of the gun season we drive deer to standers. Well, knowing this guy hasn't shot many deer, we put him in a prime stand and sure as hell we push a spike buck by him. He makes a good shot and the deer goes down. We're standing around the buck and I ask if he's ever gutted a deer before because I'll take care of it for him if necessary. Now my brother and his buddy are in their 50's, I'm in my 40's. The guy who shot the deer said, "Hell yeah, I've gutted lots of deer" and proceeds to pull a 15" Rambo knife out of his pack. He bends down to get started and l look at my brother who gives me the "don't say a word" look.
> 
> We still laugh about that one every year.


You forgot the best part. What happened next??


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## buckslayer1210

archerm3 said:


> No, you are missing the point.
> 
> 1. Put that gun in a vise sideways, 90 degrees from level. It WILL not hit the where the crosshairs are aiming. It may be repeatable but the scope can only be sighted for relative level and shot in the exact same level position. You are going to end up with a yardage adjustment turning into a windage error otherwise.
> 
> 2. A gun sighted in a gun vise, is ONLY sighted in for shooting in that gun vise. Everyone's body recoils differently due to the way they grip the rifle, upper body mass, etc, everyone will have different parallax errors, will cause a rifle to need sight adjustments from person to person, and also, different shooting positions with the same person.
> 
> Some people are just not good enough shooters to notice the difference.


Again.....you are arguing people shooting differently.  That by nature means the crosshairs aren't in the same spot from person to person. And if all that is true then how did we all grow up hearing ol timers say "Give me that gun....it's sighted in...you just can't shoot right." O something to that effect. When I was a kid and couldn't shoot worth a damn I can remember tons of ol timers taking my deer rifle, never having seen it and hit exactly where it was sighted in. This is after initially being sighted in by my uncle or someone else. And if you're arguing 1/2'' difference between shooters then who the hell cares??


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## ruffme

I was in the shop awhile back...a guy was using the paper tuner...the owner says to the guy at full draw....don't hit the metal....TWANNGGGGGGGGGGGG...

He still laughs at me to this day!


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## Thatmichhunter

Watched a guy miss a chrono one day, standing about 3 feet from it.


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## Doeslayer13

telephone man said:


> a coworker bought a used switchback and came over to shoot. he didnt have a release or any arrows i let him shoot 1 of my arrows and he missed the target 3 ft left. i told him it looked like he needed a longer draw length because i had trouble seeing thru his peep. he said " is that what that thing on the string is?"


same thing happened with me but it was my friend lol


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## turkeyhunter60

hunt1687 said:


> As I go back a few years I remember seeing advertising for a bow the bottom 1/2 of it was a compound and the top half was a recurve. this was maybe in the 80's. I never saw one in person and obviously they didn
> 
> That was A Martin Dyna-Bow, I have one of those I bought in A Pawn Shop, early 90s, for $40.00, excellent shape still have it as a collectors item.......:darkbeer::darkbeer::darkbeer::teeth:


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## okdeerslayer

was at the shop friday just bsing guy came in bought a new z7 paid for it bought rest sight all the goodys went up to sight it in were standin there talkin the owner an i about 15 mins later dude comes back string jumped off the cam limb cracked owner was like wth did u do he said oh i wanted to test it out befor i put an arrow in it an shot it 3 times he called mathews they said send it back they would replace it he walked out with a new bow


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## Badger Pete

ttt


----------



## TauntoHawk

Thatmichhunter said:


> Watched a guy miss a chrono one day, standing about 3 feet from it.



last time i was in lancaster archery their crono was borken because a guy shot it hahahaha


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## k4zn4v3

TauntoHawk said:


> last time i was in lancaster archery their crono was borken because a guy shot it hahahaha


Last time I checked my speed their chronno had 3 holes in the metal frame. I dont understand how it is possible to miss from that close.


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## 1231

okdeerslayer said:


> was at the shop friday just bsing guy came in bought a new z7 paid for it bought rest sight all the goodys went up to sight it in were standin there talkin the owner an i about 15 mins later dude comes back string jumped off the cam limb cracked owner was like wth did u do he said oh i wanted to test it out befor i put an arrow in it an shot it 3 times he called mathews they said send it back they would replace it he walked out with a new bow


 Ha that is crazy


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## GoatHammer

I seriously just spit red bull on a co-worker.



mike 66 said:


> this dude from st louis mo.his first 3 arrows went over the tree tops some 20 yards. he shakes his head . and says bass pro shop said it was all ready to shoot. another 3 arrows over top of trees whow...... the shop forgot to put on a rest and a he had a moveable sight. like hva. he was putting arrows in sight ring and letting them FLY..... i told him to take it back and that he needed a rest. he asked whats that? i lmao till i had tears....imagiane that.....


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## Fishkeeper

a friend of mine used to check his draw weight with a crappy fishing scale until they both exploded spectacularly....


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## Schpankme

A guy walked into my shop with a duck on his head. I said, "can I help you?" and the duck said, "yeah!", can you get this guy off my @ss?"


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## a1hoyt.ca

LOL this is great I like my 0 to 60 yard bows hehehehehehehehehehe.


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## netfan

Wow... after taking the time to read this thread, and as a total newbie, I'm thankful I've not provided any fodder for this area 

My perspective from the other side of the counter:

1. I feel really good about our local outfitter and archery department (and lucky)... SUPER good people for the most part.
2. It seems that the average bow tech is tired of helping new people?

I don't have any reservations about walking into the shop and telling the tech that I'm a brand new idiot. That way, they know they're not going to get an attitude from me and I'm going to listen CAREFULLY to what they say, and take their advice. STILL, I leave sometimes feeling like they wish I'd have left earlier or that I had come in on someone else's shift. THAT bugs me. Seems to me that you're better off spending quality time with new people to bring you more business. For example, my wife and daughter are very interested in shooting with me. Awesome! However, I'm not gonna go buy new bows for a new HOBBY, so I'll do the best I can to find good used bows for all of us, take them to the local shop for setup AND instruction (FULLY expecting to pay for it, and happy to do so), and if they treat me right, I'll be buying everything there.

That being said... Where SHOULD I go for advice, education, etc... on bowhunting? (and yes, that's a serious question)


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## Yamahog12

Saw this big dude walk into the shop and scold the owner for selling him a "***** bow". This guy was loud and made it clear that the 70#bow he bought was too damn easy for him to draw, and he needs at least 85#! I watched this for a minute and just kept my yap shut as the big dude just wanted everyone around to know how strong he was. Finally the owner told him he's just "too much a man" for anything he has to sell, but since the bow was all set up and had now been used, he's not gonna give him his money back. The guy was pissed and ended up storming out.

OK. It's not really funny, but the guy was a real horse's ass.

The ***** that is bleaped out is another word for a cat.


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## 123 4/8 P&Y

Yamahog12 said:


> Saw this big dude walk into the shop and scold the owner for selling him a "***** bow". This guy was loud and made it clear that the 70#bow he bought was too damn easy for him to draw, and he needs at least 85#! I watched this for a minute and just kept my yap shut as the big dude just wanted everyone around to know how strong he was. Finally the owner told him he's just "too much a man" for anything he has to sell, but since the bow was all set up and had now been used, he's not gonna give him his money back. The guy was pissed and ended up storming out.
> 
> OK. It's not really funny, but the guy was a real horse's ass.
> 
> *The ***** that is bleaped out is another word for a cat.*


Tabby? :bounce:


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## BQC123

^^ 

I think he said "kiddie" but someone heard "kitty".:wink:


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## rutnstrut

What's a feline bow?:wink:


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## PA Dave

Yamahog12 said:


> Saw this big dude walk into the shop and scold the owner for selling him a "***** bow". This guy was loud and made it clear that the 70#bow he bought was too damn easy for him to draw, and he needs at least 85#! I watched this for a minute and just kept my yap shut as the big dude just wanted everyone around to know how strong he was. Finally the owner told him he's just "too much a man" for anything he has to sell, but since the bow was all set up and had now been used, he's not gonna give him his money back. The guy was pissed and ended up storming out.
> 
> OK. It's not really funny, but the guy was a real horse's ass.
> 
> The ***** that is bleaped out is another word for a cat.


Roadkill?


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## ItecKid

Ttt


----------



## apache pilot

ttt


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## Gopherman

Great stuff.

2 Best: Letting go of the riser and shooting the arrows through the sight.


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## Pointhunter

TTT
keep er up


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## apache pilot

bump


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## swoosh23

My brother works at Bass Pro in the Archery department and one night a gentleman came in and was talking to him about a crossbow that shoots 345 fps. The gentleman looks at my brother and tells him that he and his wife did the calculation from fps to mph and they determined that this crossbow was shooting the arrow 1.8 Million MPH!!! My brother said it was all he could do keep a straight face and not bust out laughing. We still laugh about it to this day and when Bass Pro gets a new bow in I always ask him how fast in MPH the new one shoots!!

FYI.. 345 fps is a little over 235 mph.


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## apache pilot

bringin it back!


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## apache pilot

i missed a turkey at 15 yards. thats pretty hilarious:embara:


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## apache pilot

ttt


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## RH#8

apache pilot said:


> i missed a turkey at 15 yards. thats pretty hilarious:embara:


So did Baz59 today lol.... (hope he doesnt see this) :behindsof


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## baz77

rh#8 said:


> so did baz59 today lol.... (hope he doesnt see this) :behindsof


lol.....


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## DrenalinHntr

Had a guy that used to come into the pro shop where I hang out tell me that he shot a 170 class buck through both lungs and the heart, and trailed him for over a mile with no blood trail, and never found him. A few weeks later same guy told me that he had shot 2 190 class bucks and had them stolen form the taxidermists place. Said that a guy went in there and said that he was here for the two big deer and walked out with them.

Had another guy come in 2 years ago while I was there and was just getting into archery and wanted a new bow. The "bow man" of the shop showed him a BRAND NEW Mathews Monster XLR8 and handed it to the guy. Before he could say anything, the guy pulled back on the bow and DRY FIRED it, cracking the tops limbs and ****ing up the cams. The owner was POed.

Finally, had a guy come in to shoot his new bow. The draw weight was set up at 70 lbs and the guy could not draw it back without having to arch backwards. Finally he did a final power-pull, but had his finger in front of the trigger on his release and shot the bow in mid-draw while pointing it up at the sky, sending the arrow over the trees to the liquor store next door.


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## Afree

Ah I got one.

Couple years ago when I was a sophmore in high school, I was at a local gander mountain with a buddy and we are there quite a bit so we have started to get to know the bow techs and staff and I walked up to the main archery guy and he goes you'll never believe what a kid just told me. He showed me a crossbow (nice barnett) and the strings were off and the cams were knicked up and I said what the hell happened? 

The kid (18 or so) shot a ball point pen out of his crossbow at work. The kid then walks by and the shop guy goes, thats him and I look. A family friend and a kid who graduated high school two years before I did.


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## 13fist

when i first got started in archery, a decent archery shop was a rare treat, most of them going out of business in a year or less for being too expensive or completely useless. one shop in particular was a favorite of mine because the owner was encouraging when it came to getting new people involved. never a stupid question, never an asinine response, and when it came to young people he was even more enthusiastic and always trying to help. he had just hired a kid to work the weekends and was training him when i walked in. i heard him clearly state to the new guy to always cut the zip-ties off with dikes, staying away from strings and cables and never use a knife. then the owner and i got to talking and he was showing me the new stuff when another customer came in. he signaled the new guy to see to the customer, while we both kept an eye on him. customer pulls a bow off the rack and tries to draw it, but the zip-tie stops him. new guy says politely "you can't dry fire the bows". customer then says "naw, i can pop this off" and yanks on it again, as if it was a personal challenge. new guy getting flustered, first day, first customer, not going well but still polite. " if you want to try it i can set you up in the range and remove the zip-tie". customer says he doesn't need to shoot it, just wants to know if he likes the draw. new guy without thinking says that should be alright, as he is reaching for the dikes to cut the zip-tie the customer goes for it with his knife giving it full force with the zip-tie and string between his blade and thumb and manages to cut zip-tie, string, thumb, drops the bow on the cam, and jab himself in the belly with his own knife. 
the new guy was about in tears with panic having the worst first day of work ever, but the owner without changing his cheerful demeanor, as if nothing at all had happened simply said " sir, how many arrows would you like with your new bow"? the look on this guys face when he realized he just spent several hundred dollars on stupid....epic.


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## Newhunter1

13fist said:


> when i first got started in archery, a decent archery shop was a rare treat, most of them going out of business in a year or less for being too expensive or completely useless. one shop in particular was a favorite of mine because the owner was encouraging when it came to getting new people involved. never a stupid question, never an asinine response, and when it came to young people he was even more enthusiastic and always trying to help. he had just hired a kid to work the weekends and was training him when i walked in. i heard him clearly state to the new guy to always cut the zip-ties off with dikes, staying away from strings and cables and never use a knife. then the owner and i got to talking and he was showing me the new stuff when another customer came in. he signaled the new guy to see to the customer, while we both kept an eye on him. customer pulls a bow off the rack and tries to draw it, but the zip-tie stops him. new guy says politely "you can't dry fire the bows". customer then says "naw, i can pop this off" and yanks on it again, as if it was a personal challenge. new guy getting flustered, first day, first customer, not going well but still polite. " if you want to try it i can set you up in the range and remove the zip-tie". customer says he doesn't need to shoot it, just wants to know if he likes the draw. new guy without thinking says that should be alright, as he is reaching for the dikes to cut the zip-tie the customer goes for it with his knife giving it full force with the zip-tie and string between his blade and thumb and manages to cut zip-tie, string, thumb, drops the bow on the cam, and jab himself in the belly with his own knife.
> the new guy was about in tears with panic having the worst first day of work ever, but the owner without changing his cheerful demeanor, as if nothing at all had happened simply said " *sir, how many arrows would you like with your new bow"?* the look on this guys face when he realized he just spent several hundred dollars on stupid....epic.


That is both funny and priceless...good job on the owner.


----------



## Bean Burrito

Not a request, or at a shop. But it was the first the day at the club with my new compound (which was a POS and has been disowned), and an older club member asked to look at it. He looked over it, and when i went to take it back he drew it unexpectedly. For an older bloke who usually shoots recurves he managed the draw alright. As he held it back he said to the assembled club members "You can't dry fire these bows. You need to let them down slowly and carefully."

So he starts letting it down. The bow comes out of the valley and up to peak weight. String pulls itself out of his fingers, and the bow dryfires.

He's a good bloke, and he offered to pay for any repairs it needed, and let me shoot his new bow for the meet (which he'd only just finished tuning). Soon after I had the bow pulled apart and checked over when I went to purchase some accessories (and potentially a new bow) and all was fine. I've kept an eye on the limbs and checked them regularly, and there's been nothing observable happen with them. It's had 500+ shots through it since the dry fire, and it was checked over by a bow tech who I hold in very high esteem, and all is well. Shame the bow was a piece of rubbish to begin with, but at least I don't have any moral issues with selling it now I have my new bow coming in the post.

I still share a target with him and we get along well... But I'll be damned if he ever draws one of my bows again!


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## apache pilot

Epic avatar bean


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## justintohunting

good thread keep it going


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## justintohunting

i was at a local 3-d shoot one day with my family and friends and we have a friend who comes alot with us and is a know-it-all. As we wait in line for the sign up we strike up small talk about my bow, which is a 09 dreamson set at 60 lbs. He then proceeds to tell me that i need to sell my bow to some kid and that i need to get my big boy pants on and shoot a 70lbs bow like his. Anyways i ignore him because he is always arrogant like this. As we shoot the course i am doing bout average on my score yet our friend has already missed 3 targets and scored mostly 5`s.. When he draws he has to point it to the sky , pull it with all he got, then after he get it back with all the grunting and sweating he releases it as quick as he can at the target... he said he the bow has so much power he cant hold it very long and has to get it off as soon a possible.. we all kinda laugh to ourselves and move on.. on about target 25 he goes to draw ,lets out a big scream and lowers his bow back down.. he said he had pulled a muscle in his shoulder... I laughed so hard my stomach hurt and i pretty much shot like crap the rest of the shoot...He did not finshed the shoot because he threw out his arm... After the shoot i asked him if he wanted to shoot my bow.. He replied no thats a kids bow, im gonna have to get a different string on my bow, its too stiff and makes it too hard to draw back.. I laughed the whole way home...


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## iwantone2.4

justintohunting said:


> i was at a local 3-d shoot one day with my family and friends and we have a friend who comes alot with us and is a know-it-all. As we wait in line for the sign up we strike up small talk about my bow, which is a 09 dreamson set at 60 lbs. He then proceeds to tell me that i need to sell my bow to some kid and that i need to get my big boy pants on and shoot a 70lbs bow like his. Anyways i ignore him because he is always arrogant like this. As we shoot the course i am doing bout average on my score yet our friend has already missed 3 targets and scored mostly 5`s.. When he draws he has to point it to the sky , pull it with all he got, then after he get it back with all the grunting and sweating he releases it as quick as he can at the target... he said he the bow has so much power he cant hold it very long and has to get it off as soon a possible.. we all kinda laugh to ourselves and move on.. on about target 25 he goes to draw ,lets out a big scream and lowers his bow back down.. he said he had pulled a muscle in his shoulder... I laughed so hard my stomach hurt and i pretty much shot like crap the rest of the shoot...He did not finshed the shoot because he threw out his arm... After the shoot i asked him if he wanted to shoot my bow.. He replied no thats a kids bow, im gonna have to get a different string on my bow, its too stiff and makes it too hard to draw back.. I laughed the whole way home...



Some people eh?? lol looks like he has to put on his big boy diaper.


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## ItecKid

I was in a pro shop a couple weeks ago getting some more arrows before going to an outdoor 3d shoot. A young kid and his dad were in there, and while the shopkeep was doing something in the back, the kid says to his dad, 'How come you're not supposed to dry fire your bow?' His dad was quiet for a minute and then was like 'Uh, uh uh...I think it, uh, like screws up the string or something.' I thought about butting in, but they at least knew enough not to dry fire so I figured it was good enough.

The best though was when the shopkeep was working on the guys equipment, he had some stuff he acquired from like a garage sale or something, including some new, uncut arrows. The shopkeep was like 'I can cut those down for you.' And the guy said, 'Well, these are new, let's keep them that way.' And of course the shopkeep told him, 'You know they're no good to you unless they're cut.' But the guy was already on his way out and didn't seem to care.

Later, the shopkeep was telling me about how they came in to have their equipment worked on, and the dude's anchor point was behind his ear!


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## apache pilot

typical!


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## philhoney

Bump


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## Baldona523

Still one of the funniest outdoor things for me to watch is some newbie trying to use a spincaster reel side up. I crack up everytime, and it is hard to correct someone because they get so embarrassed everytime.

This shooting argument is dumb. If a gun is sighted in it is sighted in. Just because someone does not shoot properly, does not mean the gun is not sighted in. This scope argument is incredible, you can not look through a scope and it be off if it is in a vice. Trigger pull, aiming at a different part of the target, flinching, and not shooting properly usually lead to shots being off. I have killed multiple animals left handed with my left eye when I normally shoot right handed and with my right eye. I have shot this way at the range to practice, and if I do everything well the shots are very close. Only reason they are off is my form sucks left handed.


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## jerinmn

Ohio Mossy Oak said:


> [FONT="Arial Black".Or the people who think a .400 spine..400 means how heavy the arrow is..etc[/FONT]


 That was me when I first started out. 10 months ago. Learned a few thing since then.


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## robbcayman

Okay, this story happened about 2 years ago. It wasn't in a pro shop, but does deal with a dry fire. Anyways, we are on a hunting ranch (Free Range) and the guide asks to see my friend's Reflex Growler. My friend had no clue the guide was going to try to pull back the bow. Mind you, the pull was a 70 pound draw and this guide was 140 pounds soaking wet. He pulls it almost all the way back and loses control and dry fires it. I'm not sure how, but he derailed the string and we couldn't get it back together. My buddy was pretty ticked, because he couldn't hunt with his bow for the rest of the trip. The guide gave him his personal bow to hunt with, but my friend was still upset, because they didn't have the same draw.

It was really awkward, because my friend wasn't in the forgiving mood. They promised a big discount if we would return the following year. So, a year later we went back to the ranch to give them a final try. Plus, the number of big deer were unreal. We were shocked when they tried to raise the asking price once we got there. Needless to say, we walked away and would never go back. The ranch was a real disaster from the word go.


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## sizthediz

Yes--they live among us, and they vote too!!! and reproduce too what a shame the world was once a better place


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## NCMFX

Went to BPS with a buddy for thier big sale in August, he was dead set on buying a bow there. I tried to tell him there were better places to buy a bow, etc. but he was hearing none of it. I leave him with the "pro" and do some shopping. Come back and they are wrapping up, he bought a PSE something or other, arrows, etc. and the bow is all set up. Couple days later we're shooting and I swear the draw length is 3-4 inches too long, he has to pull it back way behind his ear to hit the wall. It's a wonder he hasn't torn his ear off with it yet but he actually shoots it pretty well all things considered. Fortunately I don't think he's picked up the bow to hunt in several years.


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## Pgohil

This is the best ever! Keep em coming!!


Patience is the key to a good shot.


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## apache pilot

some pretty good stories on here guys!


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## TH30060X

dlalexan said:


> I worked in a shop years back and this was my favorite of many stories: Two customers come in with a crossbow and stated he needed his crossbow fixed. After looking at the cracked limbs and broken strings, I asked him how the string broke. He replied " well I was shooting in it while I was sitting on the couch and all of the sudden the string broke and parts flew all over the living room, It broke the lamp." as I stopped the conversation to tell him he should never shoot his bow inside the house he calmly replied " Don't worry it wasn't loaded" I quickly explained why you can't shoot any bow without an arrow. After some more conversation I finally got him to admit he was watching a hunting show and shooting at the deer on TV!


 Lmfao...this is some hilarious stuff


----------



## stikbow26

PAstringking said:


> that basically describes about 50 AT members :zip:


 Sorry not a request but.....Heard a guy at the shop I go to say that he shot his first of three 200" bucks when he was 12 years old. All three of these bucks were killed within a half mile of a city that's about 80,000 population. Then this guy got a desert sheep hunt for $2,000 because the person who had the $10,000 tag got sick and couldn't go. Oh yeah, he got a ram that would rank #2 in P & Y, but he doesn't believe in "the book".

Oh ouch!!!! now that is funny!!!


----------



## Pasinthrough

The people who come in and ask for notches for their arrows always leave me laughing. I've also heard a peep called a peek sight...

Had a guy come in because his bow was getting hard to draw. Come to find out, him mod screw had backed out and cut a 1/4 inch gash through his bottom limb. He said, it's been getting worse over the past few weeks or so... go figure!


----------



## carrothead

Baldona523 said:


> Still one of the funniest outdoor things for me to watch is some newbie trying to use a *spincaster reel side up*. I crack up everytime, and it is hard to correct someone because they get so embarrassed everytime.
> 
> This shooting argument is dumb. If a gun is sighted in it is sighted in. Just because someone does not shoot properly, does not mean the gun is not sighted in. This scope argument is incredible, you can not look through a scope and it be off if it is in a vice. Trigger pull, aiming at a different part of the target, flinching, and not shooting properly usually lead to shots being off. I have killed multiple animals left handed with my left eye when I normally shoot right handed and with my right eye. I have shot this way at the range to practice, and if I do everything well the shots are very close. Only reason they are off is my form sucks left handed.


Normally you do use a spincast reel reel-side-up...a spinning reel is the one that is used with the rod on top.:wink:


----------



## PA Dave

stikbow26 said:


> Oh yeah, he got a ram that would rank #2 in P & Y, but he doesn't believe in "the book".


Funny how these guys who don't believe in "the book" always seem to know exactly how high their imaginary trophies would be listed. Hmmm.


----------



## Travis Shaw

manybows said:


> Heard the best one ever, not at a shop but at a 3-D shoot. A mutual buddy joined us at a shoot and stated that his bow had just been repaired....his *cervix* was broken. I thought I was going to shoot Mt Dew out of my nose!!! Worst thing was, he repeated it several times...I did not have the heart or the composure to correct him.....I can't tie a serving to this day without chuckling. I consider this to be the crown jewel of malaprops


 That is so so funny!!!


----------



## apache pilot

agreed! cervix ha ha ha ha ha ha ha


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## OhioHunter2010

One day a guy came in bought his first bow (carbon matrix) put all the best things on it, came to a total of 2,500$. when his car wasnt even worth 2,500


----------



## backroads123

Can you sight my bow in for me. I have heard that a few times.


----------



## libertymesa

A parent of one of our young shooters showed up with a right handed bow and his son is obviously left handed, Asked "Can't we just turn it over?" then thought we were messing with him when we said no.


----------



## ilovechefmitch

Okay, so this isn't archery-related per-se but happened while my husband was up hunting in WI a couple of years ago. So we go up every year and stay on a friend's farm and my husband hunts while I relax and read on vacation. Anyhow, my husband is out mid-afternoon settling in for the evening hunt and our friend is planning on heading out once he gets home from work in the afternoon. So our friend gets home and grabs his .22 to head on out but first he stops to feed the elk (he raises elk on the farm). So he finishes up and he's got a beer in one hand, the .22 in the other and he stops to take a leak along the fence line. He puts leans the .22 against the fence and proceeds to whip it out and do his thing, all while he continues to drink the beer, mind you. So in the midst of all of this 3 or 4 pointer, don't remember which, wanders over. Our friend scrambles for his .22 with the beer still in his hand in order to shoot the buck. *BANG!* He shoots the deer, still holding onto the beer with his junk flapping in the wind because he hasn't bothered to put it away and zip up. Obviously, holding onto the beer is MUCH more important than bothering with _that_.... Hilarious!!!! :icon_1_lol: And of course my hubby doesn't see a darned thing in the woods while he is out there. :dontknow:


----------



## JimHendrix

ilovechefmitch said:


> Okay, so this isn't archery-related per-se but happened while my husband was up hunting in WI a couple of years ago. So we go up every year and stay on a friend's farm and my husband hunts while I relax and read on vacation. Anyhow, my husband is out mid-afternoon settling in for the evening hunt and our friend is planning on heading out once he gets home from work in the afternoon. So our friend gets home and grabs his .22 to head on out but first he stops to feed the elk (he raises elk on the farm). So he finishes up and he's got a beer in one hand, the .22 in the other and he stops to take a leak along the fence line. He puts leans the .22 against the fence and proceeds to whip it out and do his thing, all while he continues to drink the beer, mind you. So in the midst of all of this 3 or 4 pointer, don't remember which, wanders over. Our friend scrambles for his .22 with the beer still in his hand in order to shoot the buck. *BANG!* He shoots the deer, still holding onto the beer with his junk flapping in the wind because he hasn't bothered to put it away and zip up. Obviously, holding onto the beer is MUCH more important than bothering with _that_.... Hilarious!!!! :icon_1_lol: And of course my hubby doesn't see a darned thing in the woods while he is out there. :dontknow:


uhm... is it legal to kill large game with a .22?


----------



## TH30060X

JimHendrix said:


> uhm... is it legal to kill large game with a .22?


Yeah, sounds like a story that shouldn't of been told to thousands of ppl.


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## TJS209

JimHendrix said:


> uhm... is it legal to kill large game with a .22?


That's what I was wondering


----------



## ilovechefmitch

Yep. Can't be smaller than a .22. Wasn't a very big one though. I know when he wants to take down an elk he just walks up to the feeding trough with his pistol....


----------



## ilovechefmitch

"It is illegal to hunt deer with any air rifle, rimfire rifle, or any center-fire rifle less than .22 caliber." - from the 2010 WI Deer Hunting Regulations.


----------



## Joe W.

ilovechefmitch said:


> "It is illegal to hunt deer with any air rifle, rimfire rifle, or any center-fire rifle less than .22 caliber." - from the 2010 WI Deer Hunting Regulations.


Great.....beer.....pissing....leaning the loaded gun on the fence..... shooting deer with a .22....and posting about it on the internet..and defending it. "Hilarious". People never cease to amaze me.


----------



## Tex21

Joe W. said:


> Great.....beer.....pissing....leaning the loaded gun on the fence..... shooting deer with a .22....and posting about it on the internet..and defending it. "Hilarious". People never cease to amaze me.


If people on here would quit blasting people over a story that happend in the past they wouldnt have to defend it. Just like who cares if they tell it to a thousand people? Im sure it was hillarious seeing it.


----------



## ilovechefmitch

I apologize, I'm pretty knew to the whole gun hunting aspect and I didn't realize that there was a problem with his hunting with a .22 ?!?!? My hubby really only bowhunts.... :dontknow: I just thought the whole situation was funny at the time.


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## Timmy Big Time

The 22 deer hunter does sound like a piece of work, Brilliant.


----------



## 12bhunting

ilovechefmitch said:


> I apologize, I'm pretty knew to the whole gun hunting aspect and I didn't realize that there was a problem with his hunting with a .22 ?!?!? My hubby really only bowhunts.... :dontknow: I just thought the whole situation was funny at the time.


could of been a 22 hornet right


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## ilovechefmitch

found out it was a .22 magnum?!?! No idea what that means though.....


----------



## 123 4/8 P&Y

ilovechefmitch said:


> found out it was a .22 magnum?!?! No idea what that means though.....


It means that with the proper load it is most likely legal. I shot a doe with a .22 mag in Nebraska one time. She went 20 yards.


----------



## crazy wolf

Hey! .... does the peep sight go on towards the top limb or the bottom limb of the bow ? Just Askin ! :mg:




Crazy Wolf


----------



## Diesel_19

Joe W. said:


> Great.....beer.....pissing....leaning the loaded gun on the fence..... shooting deer with a .22....and posting about it on the internet..and defending it. "Hilarious". People never cease to amaze me.


People like you never cease to amaze me... always having to critique what other people say or do


----------



## apache pilot

please dont get this thread locked! its been great reading for everyone!


----------



## PA Dave

apache pilot said:


> please dont get this thread locked! its been great reading for everyone!


Amen, Brother, Amen!

(Love that "Fail" avatar)


----------



## double o

Joe W. said:


> Great.....beer.....pissing....leaning the loaded gun on the fence..... shooting deer with a .22....and posting about it on the internet..and defending it. "Hilarious". People never cease to amaze me.


Read his signature? HMMMMMMM what you don't like southerners?


----------



## ChadMR82

Last year I went to Gander Mountain and got the chance to meet Michael Waddell. While I was standing in line the guy in front of me talked my ear off. I noticed he had his Matthews bow with him. The guy told me that he was a huge Waddell fan and that he was going to have him sign his bow. I told him that I did not know if he would sign it since he is endorsed by Hoyt. The guy argued with me and got all defensive. He was convinced that Michael shot a Matthews. Waddell was a good sport and signed the bow after giving the guy a hard time. The guy then proceeded to tell Waddell how he had developed some great predator scent and wanted to know if Michael would use it and endorse it for him. Some people just do not have any social norms.


----------



## WEEGEE

i was at the third leg of the triple crown, in IN. there was a back-up, on a bear target, set @57yrds. thru a tunnel, in the dark woods.
a newbie shooting a 10yr old junk bow with odd(mixed) aluminum arrows ,that never practices,was worried.
he was pacing back and forth and trying to talk to anyone ,for any help he could get.
i knew him ,and told him ,talking about the yrds. ,before the shot was forbidden.
i told him to watch the others while they shot ,to see,if he could find out more about what he was going to do.
well he watched all of two shooters and here he comes back.
he was talking so loud everyone in line could hear what he was saying and most were laughing so hard ,they would look away .

i got it,he said i know what i'm going to shoot it for,on and on he went.
well when he got to the stake everyone in line got up and watched this clown.

he dropped his first two arrows he pulled out of his quiver and he only had three all different sizes and lengths. he nocked the last one and drew back and held it for about 30 sec. then "wack" he stuck that arrow about 10ft up in this big oak tree that the stake was under. everyone lost it "big time" nobody could shoot for 5 mins.
people were rolling on the ground ,laughing so hard ,they were crying,it was hysterical.

he finally said,well i would have shot lower if it wasn't so far! 

people fell on the ground ,this time nobody could even get a breath of air, they were laughing so hard. we laugh every time well think about him.


----------



## SCDeer Slayer

I was in a local outdoors store when a lady came in to buy her hubby some ammo. When the salesman came over and asked what he could do for her, she replied, I need a box of those 270 Horny bullets. I wish I would have had a camera to capture the look of every ones face.


----------



## mikej998

Not related to the bowshop, just archery in general.

When I was growing up, my dad was a member of the local archery club for quite a few years and was president of it for several. The club had an indoor range for winter time (Northern Colorado) and a large outdoor 3D course for summer. One time they were having a 3D shoot and I was in a little play area by the start of the course watching while I drove trucks in the dirt - seems I was maybe 6 or 7 at the time. A group came up to the station near me and the first couple guys shot without much fanfare. Then one guy wanted to let his very amply endowed girlfriend try his bow and talked her into it. I couldn't say what kind of bow it was other than that it was a compound of some sort. He showed her how to nock and arrow and hold the bow. She managed to draw the bow by herself and he was standing behind her watching her aim and talking to her. What he couldn't see from behind was that due to the long draw length of the bow and her stance to compensate, the left half of her endowment was protruding fully past the drawn bowstring. One of the friends spotted the problem and hollered "wait!" just as she released the arrow. I don't think they found the arrow. She never did pick up a bow again though she did on occasion come watch him shoot.


----------



## Joe W.

Diesel_19 said:


> People like you never cease to amaze me... always having to critique what other people say or do


You know what Diesel....you are right.

Let's all get drunk and shoot a deer with a .22 while we are pissing ourselves! Sounds like a great idea. While we are at it, since we are telling the world how ignorant we are on the internet let's just take out a front page ad in the paper for those who don't have a computer.

What was I thinking?? Duh.


----------



## Afree

I have a buddy that basically brought me hunting for the first time. I had a bow lying around that I bowfished with but never deer hunted. So my friend and his dad asked me if I wanted to come with them to their farm in Southern Minnesota. My buddy is not the smartest kid with common sense but he knows his fair share about hunting. Well I ended up buying a new bow and I needed some string leeches put on cause it was loud. I had to work and my bud was going into the local shop so he brought my bow with him to get him new arrows and me sttring silencers. 

Well he calls me when he's there and says:


Dude, they don't have any vibrators....


Now where he got vibrators from I have no idea. Maybe cause I was new to the sport and was told rubber on the string will help with vibration and noise.


----------



## Grayzer86

Was at a wholesale sports a while back with a buddy who was looking for a bow. I tried to convince him to go to the proshop i deal with but he wouldnt, "because it would cost more". Well on the way in we see a guy walking out with his eyebrow and nose bleeding. I ask someone what happened and they said that he drew back a bow without his thumb around the grip, i mean thumb and fingers all on the same side with the grip just on the base of his hand. The bow slipped and basically shot the riser right into his face. When we get to the archery section, my buddy picks out a bow and asks to shoot it. being that he is 5'6" i sad to the tech the draw would need to be shortened from 29. He says no it wont hes right on 29. I ask how he knows that just from looking at him and he says "i do this every day i know what im talking about".(buddy is actually a 26 inch draw) OK, so buddy draws back, release is actually behind his head, and slaps his arm on the shot. tech says that thats totally normal just wear an arm guard. So he dresses up the bow, and figures out a price, and it seems way too high, so i call my buddies pro shop and ask what his price would be. I then tell bow buyer buddy that pro shop buddy will sell him the same package and actually fit it to him for 210 bucks cheaper. He says he is still buying it there so i head to the truck. Just before leaving i ask the tech what kind of bow he shoots and here is his reply "oh i dont shoot i just think archery stuff is kinda cool, last bow i shot was one of those little kid fiberglass ones when i was like 10"


----------



## DeerSlayer190

This one didn't happen at a bow shop or during archery but is funny... 

One of our hunting buddies always brags how many deer he has gotten and whatnot... you know the types. Well he got a deer and my uncle was the first one there with him. It was a decent buck for the scrubby deer we have around here. Well they finished their celebratory beverage and my uncle said, "Well cut the ass out of that deer and get it gutted." 

Super hunter takes his knife out and gets working on dressing his buck. Well, my uncle gets looking up at the stars and enjoying the night not paying any attention to him. 

"I got it cut out. Now what do I do with it?" he asks my uncle. That's when the beer hit the snow. Our buddy was holding a half dollar sized piece of white fur the face of the deer's anus.


----------



## Michael Myers

Was at a wholesale sports a while back with a buddy who was looking for a bow. I tried to convince him to go to the proshop i deal with but he wouldnt, "because it would cost more". Well on the way in we see a guy walking out with his eyebrow and nose bleeding. I ask someone what happened and they said that he drew back a bow without his thumb around the grip, i mean thumb and fingers all on the same side with the grip just on the base of his hand. The bow slipped and basically shot the riser right into his face. When we get to the archery section, my buddy picks out a bow and asks to shoot it. being that he is 5'6" i sad to the tech the draw would need to be shortened from 29. He says no it wont hes right on 29. I ask how he knows that just from looking at him and he says "i do this every day i know what im talking about".(buddy is actually a 26 inch draw) OK, so buddy draws back, release is actually behind his head, and slaps his arm on the shot. tech says that thats totally normal just wear an arm guard. So he dresses up the bow, and figures out a price, and it seems way too high, so i call my buddies pro shop and ask what his price would be. I then tell bow buyer buddy that pro shop buddy will sell him the same package and actually fit it to him for 210 bucks cheaper. He says he is still buying it there so i head to the truck. Just before leaving i ask the tech what kind of bow he shoots and here is his reply "oh i dont shoot i just think archery stuff is kinda cool, last bow i shot was one of those little kid fiberglass ones when i was like 10" -----------------Was this in Saskatoon?I Worked in the Archery Department ther for a Month,Had to leave bunch of useless Kids That no Nothing about Archery serving the Public,It was a Real eye opener,I Seen some funny stuff and some really scary Stuff,Never buy a Bow from Wholsale sprts,They are being Screwed arouund with everyday by little twits who know Jack about Archery-This coming from a First Hand Witness.


----------



## apache pilot

bout time


----------



## lynnh

its been way too long-ttt for a great thread


----------



## PSE#1




----------



## PALongspur

"Do you carry Mathews?"

"I think my draw length is about 30"."

And my favorite (drumroll) "Can you sight this in for me?"


----------



## PSE#1

DeerSlayer190 said:


> This one didn't happen at a bow shop or during archery but is funny...
> 
> One of our hunting buddies always brags how many deer he has gotten and whatnot... you know the types. Well he got a deer and my uncle was the first one there with him. It was a decent buck for the scrubby deer we have around here. Well they finished their celebratory beverage and my uncle said, "Well cut the ass out of that deer and get it gutted."
> 
> Super hunter takes his knife out and gets working on dressing his buck. Well, my uncle gets looking up at the stars and enjoying the night not paying any attention to him.
> 
> "I got it cut out. Now what do I do with it?" he asks my uncle. That's when the beer hit the snow. Our buddy was holding a half dollar sized piece of white fur the face of the deer's anus.


HAHAHA!!!! Thats good to me


----------



## jjw3

man, ive had a long hard day and this had me in tears. man, i gotta read the rest of them.

On a side note, i have a really close friend that ive known for about 30 years. He legitmately is the "deerslayer as he has killed many deer and a few really nice ones". anyway to this day he calls a release a "quick release". the first time he said it, me and his son just fell over and have never told him any different. I can bring myself to it.


----------



## BowtechKicks

Usingmyrights said:


> Diamonds are single cam bows.


Guess you don't know your bows. Diamond Razer edge and Nuclear Ice are both dual cam. I think you just became one of the post.:teeth:


----------



## Smooch

Was over at the brother-in-laws house one day and he shows me the new bow he got for his wife. I grab it and looked it over, and I'm 
like, I didn't know sister-in-law was left handed, and he's like, she's not, and grabs the bow and looks at it and say's ***!! it is left 
handed! She never owned a bow before, and was shooting a left handed bow, right handed. I about fell off my chair!


----------



## chaded

Smooch said:


> Was over at the brother-in-laws house one day and he shows me the new bow he got for his wife. I grab it and looked it over, and I'm
> like, I didn't know sister-in-law was left handed, and he's like, she's not, and grabs the bow and looks at it and say's ***!! it is left
> handed! She never owned a bow before, and was shooting a left handed bow, right handed. I about fell off my chair!


LOL i would of died


----------



## djb0724

Stopped at Dicks Sporting Goods the other day and was just browsing around when the "archery tech" asked if he could help me. I then asked if they carried slick tricks, he then said "I do not know what those are" and after I told him they were broad heads he insisted that I was wrong because he had never heard of them.


----------



## RichJ

We had a customer come in "These Tree Steps suck! as soon as I step on them, they bend" Sir, those are Bow Hooks.


----------



## bacon27

RichJ said:


> We had a customer come in "These Tree Steps suck! as soon as I step on them, they bend" Sir, those are Bow Hooks.


HAHAHA!! That was awesome!


----------



## buckeye 12 ring

Hoytbowman1 said:


> A guy I work with just bought the brand new(at that time) Hoyt Trykon. I asked him how it was shooting and how the bow felt.
> He said...
> "It is great right now, but I still haven't put my vibrator on it yet. When I do, I think I will fall in love with the way it feels." :mg:
> He said this in front of 3 other people and after we all stopped laughing I asked him (amoung many other questions) if he thought the bow would shoot better with a vibrator or with a stabilizer...lol...he still catches hell about it to this day....lol...


thats a good one!


----------



## lynnh

ttt-this thread is great-don't let it die


----------



## deltaoutlaw

Seeing as how this has become a "funny story" thread, I'll share one that my family has been laughing about for over thirty years. My dad was fishing with two other guys in a 14 ft aluminum boat. The outboard ran out of gas, so my dad grabs the gas can and fills it up spilling a bit on the engine. He then sets the gas can down, and replaces the fuel cap on the motor. He gives a few yanks on the cord and the spilled gas ignites. As he jumps back, he kicks over the fuel can. Knowing that he's got a problem, he tries to get away from the fire by scrambling to the front of the boat as the spilled gas also catches on fire. Well, the extra weight in the front pushes the bow down, causing the gas to flow towards the front. Family members watching from shore said it looked like something from Bugs Bunny with the fire chasing him. One of the other guys has the bright idea to flip the boat so he jumps on the gunnels and the boat flips. Everything is now in the water.My dad swims over to the boat and throws his arms up on it to keep afloat. He immediately jumps/flails back because the fuel continued to burn, making the aluminum extremely hot. Amidst all this though, one guy had the presence of mind to "save" the anchor. My dad just stared at the guy as they are all three treading water, the one guy actually holding onto the anchor.


----------



## scottranderson

My freind owned a indoor shooting rang/proshop I was in the kitchen and heard this customer we have never seen before come in and ask my freind what broad head is best to kill a man. Not really funny but extrem it was. And this man was not joking. Then he wanted to try a bow in the rang. He still didnt know I was in the kitchen So I called the police. My freind just kept him talking he didnt give him a bow to shoot. The police come and took him away. That was 13 years ago and it still gives me the creeps the look in his eyes was something words carnt discribe.


----------



## DocMort

Funny story, 

Shotgun hunting in NY I was with my grandpa and were doing deer drive, I couldn't have been more than 11 or 12 years old. Nice buck runs out and stops like 60 yards Grandpa shoots all 5 shots and misses it with his old 870 20 gauge. In his hurry to reload, he stuffed rolaids in there the little packs of them and he gets up on the deer going to shoot and can't figure out why it wouldn't go off. until he pointed the barrel down a little and rolaids came running out.


----------



## Joe W.

philhoney said:


> Hi
> Fishing again, not funny but worth a read.
> I used to own a 17ft wooden, clinker built fishing boat with a 1943 Stuart Turner inboard engine.
> One summer Sunday morning at high tide I took my 8yr old daughter and my 5yr old son out for a makeral bashing session.
> Sure enough we hit the fish about midday and were hauling them in 5 or 6 every cast, there were fish everywhere. We filled all the black refuse sacks I had on board and then used these sacks to build a wall between the small cabin and the rest of the boat and filled the cabin with fish. I didn't have a clue what I was going to do with all these fish but once we started we couldn't stop. THE RED MIST.
> We came back in with the evening tide and as soon as possible I sent my daughter to the local pub (my mate was the landlord) to scrounge some more sacks. We filled these sacks and loaded them into the dingy and with the 3 of us aboard there was about 2ins feeboard before we were swamped. I'm just gratefull the sea was flat calm.
> We got to the slipway and with the help of several walkers we got the dingy clear of the water.
> By this time I needed a beer and my kids wanted a coke so I left them with the dingy (and the fish) and went into the pub to get refreshments. It was a lovely summer evening and the pub was packed and it was about 15mins before I got served and got back to the slip with the drinks.
> My kids were selling the makeral for 10p (UK) each and had a long queue forming. I gave them their drinks and left them to it. (I was watching from the top of the slip). Half hour later I wandered down to see if they wanted more cokes and they gave me a handfull of small change and said "Here you are dad, it's our round"
> By the time it got dark they had sold all of the fish and had about £50 (UK) each in their pockets. On the long walk home (no car) they insisted that we had a meal in the local Chinese resturant with them paying.
> Can you imagine the scene? We were in our oldest clothes and having handled fish all day stunk to high heaven. Fair play to the owners of the resturant they put us in a quiet corner and treated my kids like royalty. We did notice a few other customers coming through the door and wrinkling their noses but I was so proud of my kids I couldn't care less.
> Phil


Phil......I love to read your stuff. You even type with an accent! Believe it or not Igrew up just like you in a little fishing town in NY. Selling fish...crabs....clams...mussels....your stories bring back memories.


----------



## bowhunter8point

Ok no joke i was at adams archery in michigan and a kid about 15 walked in with this video game compound bow it was for a wii or something and started asking if they could help him sight it in that he had a online tournament the next day.. I couldnt help but laugh at him.


----------



## Samuraiarcher

Just spent over an hour reading this thread. AWESOME!!! TTT

It is scary and sad to think that these people consider themselves hunters and even worse to think that my odds of drawing tags goes down due to these knuckle-draggers.


----------



## turkey-killer

dtrkyman said:


> guy calls asking to see about making his bow more quiet,upon further investigation he didnt have any arrows yet:mg:


Bless his heart


----------



## mikecs4life

turkey-killer said:


> bless his heart


lmao @ bless his heart.


----------



## philhoney

Hi Joe,
Glad you like the tales.
Interesting you say I type with an accent. Bet you didn't guess it's a Welsh accent.
I'm over 60 but have always lived within a mile of the sea and wouldn't have it any other way.
I'll have to have a look back over my posts in this thread to make sure I don't repeat any and then get my memory cells going again.
Phil



Joe W. said:


> Phil......I love to read your stuff. You even type with an accent! Believe it or not Igrew up just like you in a little fishing town in NY. Selling fish...crabs....clams...mussels....your stories bring back memories.


----------



## WNC Meat Seeker

Awesome thread. I've been in the hospital with the birth of our second child, and these stories has kept me laughing. Great stories!


----------



## apache pilot

ttt


----------



## bill_collector

I was in my local pro shop a few years back having some work done. I was getting a new peep sight put in and some string silencers. I see the tech grab the silencers and a zip tie. He commenced to putting my string silencers on with the zip ties until I showed him the correct way to do it. I started doing my own work after that.


----------



## ruffme

bill_collector said:


> I was in my local pro shop a few years back having some work done. I was getting a new peep sight put in and some string silencers. I see the tech grab the silencers and a zip tie. He commenced to putting my string silencers on with the zip ties until I showed him the correct way to do it. I started doing my own work after that.


You suppose there are some people out there shooting zip ties on their strings?


----------



## fred_Bump

I hunted with guy a few years back, didn't know very much about hunting period, mind you he wasn't the sharpest tool in the shed but he was eager to learn so I would help him out from time to time. He said he wanted to put out some bait and he ask me what he could use. I told him to get a 50# bag of corn and I'd go with him to put it out. When he arrives he's got a 50# bag of unpopped popcorn.


----------



## MarshBuck89

I think i just hyperextended my cervix reading about the guy with a broken cervix lmao! 

I was in the shop one day and a guy in his 40s came in all jazzed up because his bow was not accurate at all-and it was a brand new Z7 exreme. Now, keep in mind this guy has been bowhunting for over 25 yrs. He says, "my best group is 20 inches at 25 yds :mg: ....the owner of the shop says, "what happened to your rest?"...guy goes, "i dont have one, never used one on my recurve so y do i need one now?" i couldnt keep myself from laughing and had to leave haha


----------



## jerrod

A guy came in with a broke string and a mess, when asked what happened he said he was waxing his string and wanted to get the wax to melt so he took a torch to his string to heat it up


----------



## buckeye 12 ring

PSUBowhunter said:


> I had just bought a brand new Matthews Switchback bow from an archery shop. I didn’t plan on having the guy do any work on my bow because I already thought he was an idiot, but he was the only guy around that sold Matthews at the time. Anyways, after I paid for the bow, the first thing he told me was to order a set of brightly colored strings and cables for it. I asked why, and he responded back “So you don’t lose it while hunting or at a 3D, I have lost several that I sat down in the leaves and never found them.” I really didn’t know how to respond, so without saying a word I just walked out and haven’t been back since..


 That must be how Mathews came up with "Lost Camo"


----------



## Michael Myers

fred_Bump said:


> I hunted with guy a few years back, didn't know very much about hunting period, mind you he wasn't the sharpest tool in the shed but he was eager to learn so I would help him out from time to time. He said he wanted to put out some bait and he ask me what he could use. I told him to get a 50# bag of corn and I'd go with him to put it out. When he arrives he's got a 50# bag of unpopped popcorn.


 We actually pop our own popcorn to bait Bears,They love it,Seriuosly,For Deer,I Dont know,But the bears love it.


----------



## going_trad

Back when I was shooting compounds more I was in the local shop getting arrows I think, anyway I got to talking to one of the techs and he told me that I guy had just dropped off a bow to get work done, he showed me the bow, it was an older hoyt and it looked rough!!! I said what happened to that thing, the tech informed me that this guy was a regular customer and came in a week earlier asking if he had dropped his bow off at the end of the previous season, when the shop said “no we don’t have your bow” the guy left the shop scratching his head. When he came in that day he explained that he shot a nice buck the previous season and in his haste to retrieve his buck he had forgotten to lower his bow out of the tree, it was 20’ up in a tree on a hook for almost a year!!!! He used a climber so imagine walking through the woods and seeing a random bow on a hook 20’ up in the middle of the woods!!! Crazy!!


----------



## Nuge60

Not archery but funny stuff - 

My in-laws LOVE me!! Just before we were married and while I was in the Navy, the little woman and I were staying at her parents home in rural mid-east Iowa. I wanted Red (the little woman) to shoot my single 20 Ga since she be keeping it for me when I went to sea. We're out in their back yard and I try to prepare her for that first shot, but when she took it, she staggered back several steps and her father laughed his butt off at her. She stomps off and I take a few shots before handing it over to the future father-in-law. One shot and HE'S on his butt!!! When we get back in the house everyone saw something was up and asked about it. He said "Nothing's wrong, nothing happened..." While I'm fighting to keep a straight face and just HAD to spill the beans once he left the room. Me, not being happy with that, coaxed Reds 2 y.o. daughter to "Squirt Grandma". That little girl HOSED her grandmother down from head to toe!! Yep, my in-laws LOVE me!!!


----------



## apache pilot

ttt


----------



## huntingfishing

one tech told me that someone came in earlier and bought a whisker biscuit and a half dozen arrows. the guy buying said that he was gonna put the biscuit on a sling shot and launch arrows out of it. Tech laughed and said...you go right ahead buddy.


----------



## d3ue3ce

huntingfishing said:


> one tech told me that someone came in earlier and bought a whisker biscuit and a half dozen arrows. the guy buying said that he was gonna put the biscuit on a sling shot and launch arrows out of it. Tech laughed and said...you go right ahead buddy.


uhh. . . a lot of people do this. . they can be quite accurate actually. .


----------



## Darth_Bane

huntingfishing said:


> one tech told me that someone came in earlier and bought a whisker biscuit and a half dozen arrows. the guy buying said that he was gonna put the biscuit on a sling shot and launch arrows out of it. Tech laughed and said...you go right ahead buddy.


Look up chief AJ he has a rest on a sling shot and shoots arrows at fish like a bow fishing rig.


----------



## TennJeep1618

Ttt


----------



## apache pilot

ttt


----------



## Edge32617

Darth_Bane said:


> Look up chief AJ he has a rest on a sling shot and shoots arrows at fish like a bow fishing rig.


That dude is crazy!! lol, Hes actually a cool guy to read about, like his career and what not..


----------



## Turkeycreek1610

Hoytbowman1 said:


> A guy I work with just bought the brand new(at that time) Hoyt Trykon. I asked him how it was shooting and how the bow felt.
> He said...
> "It is great right now, but I still haven't put my vibrator on it yet. When I do, I think I will fall in love with the way it feels." :mg:
> He said this in front of 3 other people and after we all stopped laughing I asked him (amoung many other questions) if he thought the bow would shoot better with a vibrator or with a stabilizer...lol...he still catches hell about it to this day....lol...


He wont live that one down!!!!


----------



## Turkeycreek1610

buckeye 12 ring said:


> That must be how Mathews came up with "Lost Camo"


You must have been in Springfield Mo!!!!!


----------



## Turkeycreek1610

PSUBowhunter said:


> I had just bought a brand new Matthews Switchback bow from an archery shop. I didn’t plan on having the guy do any work on my bow because I already thought he was an idiot, but he was the only guy around that sold Matthews at the time. Anyways, after I paid for the bow, the first thing he told me was to order a set of brightly colored strings and cables for it. I asked why, and he responded back “So you don’t lose it while hunting or at a 3D, I have lost several that I sat down in the leaves and never found them.” I really didn’t know how to respond, so without saying a word I just walked out and haven’t been back since..


Yep had to be Springfield MO!!!!!


----------



## hoytjbg21

i went to a "new" bow shop checking stuff out ... the owner would not stop calling the st epics and st axis "saint axis" Saint Epic.... i almost fell out and just before i almost p***ed myself.he then went on about dem ol flatliners are a great arrow.... after that i could not stop laughing and had to settle myself down hahaha... i was laughing so hard i almost botched a shot through his chrono hahahah


----------



## zkid09

lmao ive laughed so hard at this thread.

not archery related, but a funny story..
a the assistant manager at my dads work has never fished very much but his in-laws invited him to go fishing. dad told him to go to bass pro and buy to nip-i-diddee (crazy freakin name) and crazy shad because we had been catching them on them recently.
the guy went to bass pro and asked for crazy fish and nipple dittys.

if i was the guy helping him, i would have busted out laughing


----------



## zenworks911

Great storiez. Lots of laughs.

Zenworks911


----------



## xswanted

Well this thread possibly wouldn't have caught my attention until I started working in the outdoor industry a year and a half ago........

And holy hell, have I seen and heard things that make me shiver.....and I'm sure I've uttered some things that weren't exactly "correct" info in my time there  but we all have slipped once or twice! I manage an archery shop, also sell guns, fishing, hunting...etc. etc.....here are some favorites that have been said to me or common mistakes...........


1. I don't like the RECTICLE on this scope, said loudly by what seems to be MOST older gentleman, its a RETICLE....no REC anything involved where I want to put my eyes.

2. My string fell off my bow. It was in my case since last season......I don't know about the rest of you guys, but I'm going to find the troll and/or gnome that is ripping the string off stored bows. He's been pissing me off all year.

3. My 30-06 is shoot 5300 fps at 250 yards.....I just told the guy..."wow thats pretty fast for a 30-06" He said "Yep, it picks up quite a bit a speed out there past 100"....And he'll be hunting opening day too.

4. I shot a _____________ at ___________ yards.........fill in the first blank with some ridiculously small, and the second with a number over 500 yards. (rifle department)

5. I shot a _____________at____________yards.......fill in the first blank with some even more ridiculously samll object and the second with a number under 100 yards. (bow guys)

6. A customer came in and told me his average group was under 3 inches at 80 yards. I said "wow you should be shooting the world cup" he said "well I can only do it with that one bow".....I said "perfect. You can only shoot one bow at a time in the world cup"

7. I hit my deer on a dead run at 423 yards........The classic line to come back with has become....."Wow thats good pretty good, I usually stop running before I shoot"

8. EVERYONE That owns a lead sled and a rifle can shoot 1/4 minute groups. EVERYONE.

9. No matter how bright of a lock you put on a bow someone will try to draw it, then hang it back on the shelf backwards.....I know its a hard concept, there are only 563 other bows hanging the correct way on the shelf, its tough to match the one in your hand with the rest of them.

10. I had a customer nearly rip through the lock on a bow....I calmly told him after he struggled for a bit, that the bow in his hands was locked....He asked "does it come with a key too unlock it?".............

11. Customer walks in with an arrow broke in half.....asks..."is this covered under the "warranty"".........

12. We have a 75th anniversary Trykon hanging in the shop. Okay....hold on for this.....He asks..."was that something ancient, like they Egyptians would have used?" I wasn't sure what to say........

13. We also had an origianl Harpers Ferry musket hanging in the shop.....A customer asked "is that new?" Yep....Harpers Ferry is back in business just in case we have another civil war.

14. I had two guys looking at a crossbow...one of which, the "expert" decides to pull the zip ties off that were keeping it from being cocked off and cock it. He then points it at his buddy and begins to explain what a crossbow is used for. Something about chainmale suits was uttered. I intervened at this point and told him not to cock the bows. He said in a straight face......"Well I was about to let it down"........let me know how that works out for ya!

15. A guy came up to me and said " I have a thirty caliber rifle and need ammo" I asked...."Which thirty caliber do you have".....His reply..."what do you mean? there's only one." 

16. While looking at the "Butt Out" tool a customer asks......."what is this for?".....REALLY??? Would you like me to show you or explain it??

17. A sketchy looking customer asks to look at a scale......His first question...."will this measure grams?" Yep, it also comes with "idiots guide to selling crack"

18. A customer looking at the fridge of Mrs. Doe Pee......Looks at me and asks "Where does this come from?"....Go find a deer and stick your head under it, you'll find out.

19. A customer looking at the top of a double ladder stand hanging on a display asks....."Does it have a ladder that goes all the way to the ground?" Nope.....you gotta just jump real high.

20. Ghille Suite question....."does this make you invisible?"..........Yep, its the new feature this year. Blend in with your surroundings or become invisible. Your choice.

21. A customer looking at Air rifles......"How does air kill anything?"



Well thats enough for now....and YES....all these were ACTUAL situations......Ah the perks of working in the business!


----------



## PA Dave

xswanted said:


> 7. I hit my deer on a dead run at 423 yards........The classic line to come back with has become....."Wow thats good pretty good, I usually stop running before I shoot"


I've heard similar claims and have to wonder, did they use the range finder on that shot? I mean, 423 yards on a running deer is pretty darn specific. If they just said "over 400 yards", I'd only by 99.9% certain they were lying.


----------



## therealoutdoors

this wasn't hunting but a funny shooting story at the trap range. My buddy went with me and he had never shot trap before, so i yell pull, i shoot, and miss.....then boom, my buddy shoots at the same clay bird. I tell him how that wasn't right, and we each take a turn, blah blah blah. Then he yells pull, and bang, bang. We were shooting singles, now the guy watching us comes up and has a talk with my buddy to tell him all the rules and regs before he screwed anything else up. Then every time he missed, he'd yell damn, ****, ****, etc....and with voice activated traps each time he'd yell an obscenity, it would throw another bird, which of course had the manager come over. Was a rough day at the range for him.


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## bmxrider11976

funny stuff!


----------



## apache pilot

ttt


----------



## PRES 10

At an archery shop and a guy walks in and throws his crossbow case down and shouts "this thing almost killed me"! So the tech opens the case and found a broken string. He asked what happened.

The customer said he hunted the morning with the bow and saw nothing. But in the afternoon a "buck of a lifetime" walked out. He aimed and pulledthe trigger, then bam. The thing blew up almost killing him. 

The tech then says did you leave it cocked after you quit hunting in the morning? Because your quiver is full. 

The customer responds "I'm positive I put an arrow in...I think.


----------



## HOOSIER55

i took a bow to a shop that carried bear since it was a truth 2 to get new mods for it to shorten the dl, the dumbass bowtech looks at me and says this bow doesnt require mods to change the dl. i look at him and say and your supposed to be a bowtech and left the store. this was supposed to be one of the better bow shops around.


----------



## Todd NE WY

I have a funny one sort of archery related.

When I was teenager in the late 80's we got into bear hunting over bait. We spent quite a bit of time and money setting out baits up in the mountains. We were going between bait sites and we had our cousin with us, he was about 3 at the time and my folks were raising him, he looks out the window as we pass through a herd of cows and says "uncle Jim don't run over one of those" my dad says I wouldn't buy why not. My cousin replies "because they have price tags in their ears". Another time we were up in roughly the same place, it has some monster rocks that just look like they were dropped there, and my cousin says "do you know who put these rocks here?" we said no. He replies "the indians did and they did a damn good job".

Never did shoot or see a bear while in stand but sure fattened some up.

Todd


----------



## apache pilot

mid season bump


----------



## LilGecko96

This thread is awesome!


----------



## _Thunder_

ttt good stuff


----------



## lovetohunt93

This is a classic thread, always a good read.


----------



## andys archery

Ok ill go for my shop.

1: marie epoxy rest complaining about arrow flight 
2: rack sticker which should have read "booner" but was missing an o
3: need me some of those, uh uh uh... graphite? no um fiberglass? arrows. lol close but no cigar. 
4: (guy with to long a draw, anchoring with the arrow damn near at his eye complaing his bow is not accurate and his sight wont go down far enough)
Me: sir your draw is to long, and you should consider anchoring lower it would solve your elevation issue
him: I've been doing this for 15 years!!! blah blah
Me: Sir you have been doing it wrong for 15 years.
5: Mathew's bow comes in and dl is to long, like 3- inches long. it's the last week of October and all orders from Mathew's are 2-3 weeks out minimum 
me: sir your dl is to long, I can shorten it but Ill have to order you a cam. 
him: you have no idea what your talking about, just shorten it.
me: I can't with out ordering a new cam, I do not have one in stock. 
him: i've been hunting since you were in preschool and I know you can shorten this
me: that may be sir but I've shot **** you can't pronounce. (end argument) 

I think I could go all day on this thread

worst accidents: 
1 watched a guy lop the top of his thumb off on an X-bow because he was never told to keep his fingers down
2 young kid, actually a family friend, let go of the riser on a nuclear ice and it smoked him in the forehead, stitches ensued.
3 at a range, bow slipped out of a guys hand and the slide rod entered between his pointer and middle finger on his release hand and came out back in his wrist.


----------



## easttnarcher

I was talking to my friend about a year ago and he told me he shot over a doe's back. I asked him how far over and he said about 5 feet. Then he said he put the last pin dead on her at 17 yards. Turns out he thought the pins further down gave it more power. :thumbs_up


----------



## AZBowhunt

OhioHunter2010 said:


> One day a guy came in bought his first bow (carbon matrix) put all the best things on it, came to a total of 2,500$. when his car wasnt even worth 2,500


Whats the matter with that? Guy has priorities.


----------



## msaskins

This is a great thread. Just finished reading all 26 pages . . .

Not really a funny story, but I got my first bow when I was 20 in 1990.
At the time it was one of the faster bows out there. I had an overdraw, and was convinced it would be too slow without one.
Then, I got it in my head (since I heard it from someone) that I needed to fill all my arrow shafts with salt so they would hit sooooo much harder and cause maximum damage.

Just thought it was funny to worry that much about speed, then do something like that.


----------



## jonny5

> replied to the cashier,"A man can never have too many tree steps and at this price it is too good a bargain to pass up". The cashier agreed!
> He probably wll try using a Hunter Dan treestand because they are so easy to pack in.


This might be the funniest thing I have ever read on AT!


----------



## ks_kiwi

easttnarcher said:


> I was talking to my friend about a year ago and he told me he shot over a doe's back. I asked him how far over and he said about 5 feet. Then he said he put the last pin dead on her at 17 yards. Turns out he thought the pins further down gave it more power. :thumbs_up


awesome!


----------



## Cdcj

rednecbowhunter said:


> Guess he hasnt heard of the Z7


Thinking the same thing about Z7.


----------



## dustinryan

About two months ago I was at the archery shop. I was there getting a PSE tuned up with my dad. The guy working the archery tech counter was setting up a new X-Force for this older guy who was left handed. After the tech set up the drop away and served everything the customer asked him if he had any spot hogging sites. The tech said no I only have right handed spot hogs. I look down at the bow and ask the tech. Does spot hogs call there right handed sites left handed. He said no that would be stupid. I said then why wouldn't that site fit that bow. The customer buying the bow said because im a lefty. I took a look at the PSE and said that site will fit that bow because that's a right handed bow. He said dang you must be from Arkansas. Takes a second look. OMG it is a right handed bow.bahahaha


----------



## Assassin73

I had a tech tell me that tuning was a waste of time, as long as the arrow hits the bull your good!

Same guy this summer when I asked what the difference was between CX Maximas and Maxima blue streak select told me one was red the other was blue.


----------



## Archer917

Ttt 15


----------



## philhoney

Time this one was brought back to life. I'm sure there are stories we haven't heard yet.
Phil


----------



## ONEiiSHOTiiDROP

This thread is hilarious... I feel bad for the newbies that don't know any better but laugh harder at the old heads that are too stubborn to admit their wrong


----------



## flinginairos

xswanted said:


> Well this thread possibly wouldn't have caught my attention until I started working in the outdoor industry a year and a half ago........
> 
> And holy hell, have I seen and heard things that make me shiver.....and I'm sure I've uttered some things that weren't exactly "correct" info in my time there  but we all have slipped once or twice! I manage an archery shop, also sell guns, fishing, hunting...etc. etc.....here are some favorites that have been said to me or common mistakes...........
> 
> 
> 1. I don't like the RECTICLE on this scope, said loudly by what seems to be MOST older gentleman, its a RETICLE....no REC anything involved where I want to put my eyes.
> 
> 2. My string fell off my bow. It was in my case since last season......I don't know about the rest of you guys, but I'm going to find the troll and/or gnome that is ripping the string off stored bows. He's been pissing me off all year.
> 
> 3. My 30-06 is shoot 5300 fps at 250 yards.....I just told the guy..."wow thats pretty fast for a 30-06" He said "Yep, it picks up quite a bit a speed out there past 100"....And he'll be hunting opening day too.
> 
> 4. I shot a _____________ at ___________ yards.........fill in the first blank with some ridiculously small, and the second with a number over 500 yards. (rifle department)
> 
> 5. I shot a _____________at____________yards.......fill in the first blank with some even more ridiculously samll object and the second with a number under 100 yards. (bow guys)
> 
> 6. A customer came in and told me his average group was under 3 inches at 80 yards. I said "wow you should be shooting the world cup" he said "well I can only do it with that one bow".....I said "perfect. You can only shoot one bow at a time in the world cup"
> 
> 7. I hit my deer on a dead run at 423 yards........The classic line to come back with has become....."Wow thats good pretty good, I usually stop running before I shoot"
> 
> 8. EVERYONE That owns a lead sled and a rifle can shoot 1/4 minute groups. EVERYONE.
> 
> 9. No matter how bright of a lock you put on a bow someone will try to draw it, then hang it back on the shelf backwards.....I know its a hard concept, there are only 563 other bows hanging the correct way on the shelf, its tough to match the one in your hand with the rest of them.
> 
> 10. I had a customer nearly rip through the lock on a bow....I calmly told him after he struggled for a bit, that the bow in his hands was locked....He asked "does it come with a key too unlock it?".............
> 
> 11. Customer walks in with an arrow broke in half.....asks..."is this covered under the "warranty"".........
> 
> 12. We have a 75th anniversary Trykon hanging in the shop. Okay....hold on for this.....He asks..."was that something ancient, like they Egyptians would have used?" I wasn't sure what to say........
> 
> 13. We also had an origianl Harpers Ferry musket hanging in the shop.....A customer asked "is that new?" Yep....Harpers Ferry is back in business just in case we have another civil war.
> 
> 14. I had two guys looking at a crossbow...one of which, the "expert" decides to pull the zip ties off that were keeping it from being cocked off and cock it. He then points it at his buddy and begins to explain what a crossbow is used for. Something about chainmale suits was uttered. I intervened at this point and told him not to cock the bows. He said in a straight face......"Well I was about to let it down"........let me know how that works out for ya!
> 
> 15. A guy came up to me and said " I have a thirty caliber rifle and need ammo" I asked...."Which thirty caliber do you have".....His reply..."what do you mean? there's only one."
> 
> 16. While looking at the "Butt Out" tool a customer asks......."what is this for?".....REALLY??? Would you like me to show you or explain it??
> 
> 17. A sketchy looking customer asks to look at a scale......His first question...."will this measure grams?" Yep, it also comes with "idiots guide to selling crack"
> 
> 18. A customer looking at the fridge of Mrs. Doe Pee......Looks at me and asks "Where does this come from?"....Go find a deer and stick your head under it, you'll find out.
> 
> 19. A customer looking at the top of a double ladder stand hanging on a display asks....."Does it have a ladder that goes all the way to the ground?" Nope.....you gotta just jump real high.
> 
> 20. Ghille Suite question....."does this make you invisible?"..........Yep, its the new feature this year. Blend in with your surroundings or become invisible. Your choice.
> 
> 21. A customer looking at Air rifles......"How does air kill anything?"
> 
> 
> 
> Well thats enough for now....and YES....all these were ACTUAL situations......Ah the perks of working in the business!


OMG i'm freaking dying here!! BWAHAHA!!!


----------



## TheMule34

I love this thread.


----------



## apache pilot

thanks for the revive!


----------



## haywoodhunter

I don't work in a shop but i had a guy ask me one time if I knew where he could get the new elite that shot 454 feet per second


----------



## squid77

Not at a bowshop, but while looking for a scope for my Muzzleloader at BassPro in St. Louis another customer was buying a pair of Bino's and overheard him ask the associate for another pair to look at...."He said the one handed to him first was assembled wrong since it made everything look further away". Looked at him and Yep it was backwards!


----------



## HOOSIER55

haywoodhunter said:


> I don't work in a shop but i had a guy ask me one time if I knew where he could get the new elite that shot 454 feet per second


lmao


----------



## BP1992

Excellent thread!!!


----------



## HOOSIER55

a guy brought in a 80s hoyt tried telling us it was a newer model and he wanted to get a couple hundred bucks out of it, then got mad at the owner when he said it wasnt goin to happen. :doh:


----------



## bigbassone

I had a guy bring in the aluminum limb set off an old home made crossbow and wanted a string built for it. I asked where was the rest of the crossbow so i could get a better idea of what i was looking at. He said he didnt have it that he was going to shoot just the limbs as if it were a bow and tape a grip in the middle and shoot of the grip with his arrow as if it were a recurve. I could not even begin to flex this thing. If i had attempted to put a string on this thing, as soon as i would have relaxed it in the press the sharp edges of the tips of the limbs would have cut the string immediately. Everyone in the shop busted out laughing at him and then he wanted to buy the string material and me to teach him how to build it when i told him there was no way i was going to. I finally told him to get the hell out of my shop after he became angry and said he was going to take me to court if i didnt serve him. he still didnt want to leave. Any way no civil suit, guess i got lucky. HaHaHa!


----------



## flinginairos

Ran into a guy hunting some public land after a morning hunt. As I was talking to him I noticed he had all different arrow sizes. I said "man, you have all kind of different arrows!" just kind of joking with him. With a completely straight face he said "yeah, the lighter ones are for long range and the heavy ones are for the close shots". :wacko:

I was shooting a 5-spot round at the range one morning and a guy with a fully decked out target rig came strolling in like he was a pro. He got all ready to shoot and on the very first draw he promptly punched himself right in the face when his release went off half way through the draw. I didnt know if I should bust out laughing or help him LOL!!

I got into an argument with a "tech" at Dicks one day. I heard him telling a guy looking at a Martin that the draw weight was not adjustable and if he loosened the limb bolts the bow would fly apart. I couldnt stand it and told him you could tear a Martin down by backing the limb bolts out. He said "man, your an idiot! This bow will fly apart if you loosen these bolts!" I just walked away LOL.


----------



## philhoney

Hi,
In the UK we have a system in place where if anyone wants to take up archery and join a GNAS club then they must do a beginners course of a minimum of 6, 1hr lessons. Some stay on and join the club and some decide the sport is not for them. As our club only charges £10 ($15) for the full course and provide all equipment it saves those who leave a lot of money.
We normally get 1, 2 or rarely 3 beginners at a time. Last Monday 6 beginners turned up for their first lesson and the 2 of us that were there to do the coaching were a bit outnumbered. Four of these beginners were right handed but left eye dominant so I said to them that instead of us telling them which hand to shoot that they should try both and see which was most comfortable for them.
Six arrows each shooting right handed first and as they were pulling the arrows from the boss I said left handed next.
One lady, on the end of the line (RH,RED) was having problems finding an anchor so I stood alongside here showing her where her hand should be. Her son (RH,LED) was standing behind me. I glanced over my shoulder and couldn't beleive what he was doing. He was holding the bow with his right hand and the string in his left. Sounds OK doesn't it? BUT he had the bow back to front with the arrow pointing over his right shoulder.His left arm was out straight and he was holding the string with that hand and he had drawn the bow back towards his face with the right. I managed to grab both his hands and let the bow down slowly and then asked him what he thought he was doing. His reply was one I'll remember for the rest of my life.
"You said to hold the bow with the other hand".
I don't think he'll be joining the club, we can't afford the insurance.
Phil


----------



## 1stRockinArcher

flinginairos said:


> I was shooting a 5-spot round at the range one morning and a guy with a fully decked out target rig came strolling in like he was a pro. He got all ready to shoot and on the very first draw he promptly punched himself right in the face when his release went off half way through the draw. I didnt know if I should bust out laughing or help him LOL!!



Think I know this Guy !!!


----------



## callaway71

just read all 26 pages....this thread is the best!!!! thanks for the laughs.


----------



## John316

Several years ago I was in a local small sporting goods store and it was the last day of firearms season. This guy walks in and asks the store owner how to get to the public hunting area. It was only about five miles from his shop so he gave him directions on how to get there...then the guy asked if he had any size 11 hunting boots. The shop owner said that since it was so late into the season all he had left was one pair of size 8's. The guy said that he didnt care because he wanted to hunt since it was the last day so he would take them.

After he left me and shop owner was practically rolling on the floor laughing at the thought of him trying to shove size 11 feet into a size 8 boot and then trying to walk through the woods!!


----------



## HOOSIER55

ttt


----------



## 05cummins

thats some funny stuff


----------



## HOOSIER55

any new stories today


----------



## NCAVI8TOR

I was hanging out at my relatively "local" bow shop the other day and a customer came in claiming that his arrows were "wobbling" on their way to the target. The youngster bow technician looked his bow over from top to bottom and told him that the problem was that he needed to increase the "spline" of his arrows by increasing to a 125 grain point, (from 100 grains originally). I shook my head in disgust and quietly wandered over to another area. This is the main reason I have learned how to do all of my bow work myself!!! I have ordered and set up several bows from this place for friends; however, I always tell the shop to NOT take it out of the box until I get there!! 

NC


----------



## BCU_Archer

I worked at one of the big box stores as an archery tech for a little while. First bow sale I had a family come in looking to get a bow for the teenage son who was wanting to try archery. Dad was an orthopedic surgeon and his son seemed a little different. Got him set up with a diamond package and adjusted it to fit him, got him shooting it pretty good. Then the kid asked if he needed to buy a target or if he could just shoot at the woodpile in their back yard. Finally he asked if that bow would be good for shooting foam arrows at people for LARPing (live action role play, where people dress up in fantasy costumes and have fake battles). I advised him that neither would be a good idea. Dad seemed real proud


----------



## haywoodhunter

Hahaha lets hear some more


----------



## GoosebyFLuFLu

BCU_Archer said:


> I worked at one of the big box stores as an archery tech for a little while. First bow sale I had a family come in looking to get a bow for the teenage son who was wanting to try archery. Dad was an orthopedic surgeon and his son seemed a little different. Got him set up with a diamond package and adjusted it to fit him, got him shooting it pretty good. Then the kid asked if he needed to buy a target or if he could just shoot at the woodpile in their back yard. Finally he asked if that bow would be good for shooting foam arrows at people for LARPing (live action role play, where people dress up in fantasy costumes and have fake battles). I advised him that neither would be a good idea. Dad seemed real proud


LMAO classic


----------



## tiny52

easttnarcher said:


> i was talking to my friend about a year ago and he told me he shot over a doe's back. I asked him how far over and he said about 5 feet. Then he said he put the last pin dead on her at 17 yards. Turns out he thought the pins further down gave it more power. :thumbs_up


no way!!


----------



## tiny52

This one made my day!



deltaoutlaw said:


> Seeing as how this has become a "funny story" thread, I'll share one that my family has been laughing about for over thirty years. My dad was fishing with two other guys in a 14 ft aluminum boat. The outboard ran out of gas, so my dad grabs the gas can and fills it up spilling a bit on the engine. He then sets the gas can down, and replaces the fuel cap on the motor. He gives a few yanks on the cord and the spilled gas ignites. As he jumps back, he kicks over the fuel can. Knowing that he's got a problem, he tries to get away from the fire by scrambling to the front of the boat as the spilled gas also catches on fire. Well, the extra weight in the front pushes the bow down, causing the gas to flow towards the front. Family members watching from shore said it looked like something from Bugs Bunny with the fire chasing him. One of the other guys has the bright idea to flip the boat so he jumps on the gunnels and the boat flips. Everything is now in the water.My dad swims over to the boat and throws his arms up on it to keep afloat. He immediately jumps/flails back because the fuel continued to burn, making the aluminum extremely hot. Amidst all this though, one guy had the presence of mind to "save" the anchor. My dad just stared at the guy as they are all three treading water, the one guy actually holding onto the anchor.


----------



## mathewsz7x

henry jay said:


> im looking for a smooth drawing,shock free,fast and forgiving matthews!hahahahahahahahahahaha


Man that is funny that hes never heard of the z7 xtreme because that fits the bill and then some


----------



## HOOSIER55

mathewsz7x said:


> Man that is funny that hes never heard of the z7 xtreme because that fits the bill and then some


lmfao i wish that was true, i would own one


----------



## Turokman123

Got my new bow yesterday and I went in to my shop to shoot it and sight it in (by the way, awesome bow!). I had this guy looking at me when I was standing on the line and I proceeded to shoot 5 or so arrows so I didn't hold up anyone else. When I'm going to get my arrows, he asks "What kind of bow is that," I say "Strother SR-71," he has this really weird look on his face and said with the straightest look on his face and said "oh, that bow is made by that one jet company right," I just told him yes and left. LOL priceless


----------



## crazy4hunting

I was looking for mods for a sx-1 Strother. Called a dealer, he didn't have any sx mods, but assured me sr71 mods would work fine. Hhmm... Hybrid cams vs dual cams but the mods will work. Lol.


----------



## Boonie P

Not at an archery store but...

I was at the paint counter in Home Depot. A lady was patiently waiting in line, and one of the employees asked her if she needed paint or just had quick question. In front of everyone, she replied, "I'm want to redo our bathroom at home. My husband sent me down here because he doesn't have what I need and that I could probably find some here." The employee asked her what she needed, to which she replied, "My husband said I need some black caulk." Absolute. Dead. Silence. The employee, who was a small Asian man around 5'5" tall said, "Ma'am, I can't help you with that. Go ask for Tony in aisle 12..."

She never had a clue, and as she walked away the place erupted in laughter! I couldn't believe it! It makes me laugh to this day


----------



## TrykonSniper79

Originally Posted by PSUBowhunter 
I had just bought a brand new Matthews Switchback bow from an archery shop. I didn’t plan on having the guy do any work on my bow because I already thought he was an idiot, but he was the only guy around that sold Matthews at the time. Anyways, after I paid for the bow, the first thing he told me was to order a set of brightly colored strings and cables for it. I asked why, and he responded back “So you don’t lose it while hunting or at a 3D, I have lost several that I sat down in the leaves and never found them.” I really didn’t know how to respond, so without saying a word I just walked out and haven’t been back since..



buckeye 12 ring said:


> That must be how Mathews came up with "Lost Camo"


Priceless...


----------



## TrykonSniper79

I love this thread, reading all 27 pages is getting me through a 24 hour staff duty.


----------



## HOOSIER55

Boonie P said:


> Not at an archery store but...
> 
> I was at the paint counter in Home Depot. A lady was patiently waiting in line, and one of the employees asked her if she needed paint or just had quick question. In front of everyone, she replied, "I'm want to redo our bathroom at home. My husband sent me down here because he doesn't have what I need and that I could probably find some here." The employee asked her what she needed, to which she replied, "My husband said I need some black caulk." Absolute. Dead. Silence. The employee, who was a small Asian man around 5'5" tall said, "Ma'am, I can't help you with that. Go ask for Tony in aisle 12..."
> 
> She never had a clue, and as she walked away the place erupted in laughter! I couldn't believe it! It makes me laugh to this day



lmfao


----------



## foamkiller15

I was at bass pro one day and there was a guy in a suit at the counter and he said "I want one of them deals that sicks out the front of the bow and helps u aim". The tech scratched his head, I asked him " Are you looking for a stabilizer?" he said yes. After i showed him where they were he picked one out took it to the tech who was on his phone, the the tech takes it stares at the bow blankly for a minute and says "where does this thing go?" It was hilarious. This is a true story.


----------



## Where's Bruce?

I heard a guy ask the bow shop clerk, "Do you carry lighted nookies for my shaft?" I couldn't breathe and neither could the guy behind the counter.


----------



## NYbuck50

Best AT thread ever..


----------



## johnairforce

I am a volunteer game wardon on the base i am stationed at and every year we require the archery hunters to do a proficiency shoot. I had a guy show up to shoot and told us all he had been shooting for years. As he released the arrow he attempted to manually trigger the drop away rest at the same time. His arrow shot straight up in the air. He didnt know it dropped on its own.


----------



## Everson

Not bowhunting or shop related but funny. Years ago my dad had a couple of friends come out from Seattle to visit our farm. They had never hunted a day in their lives but wanted to pheasant hunt. Dad agreed because the guys were avid trap shooters. When they arrived dad took them to a prime chunk of property that we had let asparagus go to seed on and told them we'd be back in a few hours. As we we driving up the fire road to pick them up I spotted long black feathers poking out from their vests. Dad and I looked at each other kind of confused. They were grinning ear to ear and said they had limited out. By this point we knew what they had shot. First guy shot his 3 holstein pheasants and the second guy shot 2 and 1 chukar. We couldn't hold it any more and busted up. Not understanding what was so funny we explained to them that the had shot magpies. Then explained the other bird was not a chukar but a hen pheasant (not so funny). They were really ticked off. Apparently another one of my dads and their friends as a joke had told them that holstein pheasants and chuckars are the best eating. That was almost 20 years ago and they still get mad about it.


----------



## ScorpioVI

Well I'd been reading this over the course of the week and I have been thoroughly entertained! Thanks guys.

So there I was at the shop today waiting on the owner to install a peep onto my new Dominator. I was sitting off to the side on a step ladder and had my head down browsing through a CX catalog. Some folks came in and I still had my head down and then I hear one of the techs go.... "soooo, I'm guessing you want me to put that together for you?" This catches my attention of course so I looked up and I see an older gentleman cradling a pile of bow in his arms, I mean limbs, riser, cams, string, cables all basically in a pile. The only distinguishing feature I could make out was that it was blue. He hands the pile of stuff to the tech and the tech just looks at it sadly, shaking his head, and goes... "dry fire?"

I had to get up and walk to the range next door because I was *this* close to busting up laughing right then and there. But before I could turn the corner another tech comes walking the other way, sees the pile of stuff and his jaw just drops and as soon as I saw his face I just ****ing lost it completely.


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## KingOfTheJungle

Just_Some_Guy said:


> I used to work the fishing counter. We had the requisite fishing stories, but the ones that got me were the guys who'd cuss you for not having something in the stoor "because it's in the catalogue" or for not knowing what lure they were talking about when all they can describe is *"it has a little flashing blade thingy"*.
> 
> Or they guys who insist on mismatching their equipment.



Well that's a spinner bait! rofl

This thread is EPIC.. I'm glad I got on here and picked everyones brains for about a week before I bought a bow. Not to mention my ol' lady's dad has been bowhunting 30+ years.. So I didn't look like a complete doofus walking into a shop for the first time!

Anyone else notice how many of these stories start with "I was walking around Bass Pro..."????


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## Turokman123

Sitting here reading through 26 pages of stories that makes me laugh, lets hear some more. TTT


----------



## jaho

Back when I started to shoot bows, i was 12, I would always ask kids my age what their draw weight was on their bow and I would always get answers like 90lbs and even up to 120lbs. I thought these kids must be hulk or something until I let them TRY shoot my 45 lb bow one day


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## cbrewer450

This thread has been epic!!! I started from the beginning a few days ago. I've almost been in tears several times. I'm fairly new to archery, and I have the greatest pro shop to too. Fortunately, I've never said or done anything like these posts. The guy knows I'm new and helps me out big time.
Keep them coming.


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## Turokman123

I was shooting at my Pro shop yesterday in a little 3-D tournament we have on Wednesday nights, and I shoot 4 arrows like I'm supposed to(we were playing double or nothing :wink, and this guy who just walked in the shop came walking down the line with me and said "Man, if you can get that many shots on a elk, he still won't go down. They are some tough buggers." So moral to the story, watch out for the alligator skinned elk next time you're out hunting


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## philhoney

burdog said:


> I had a vane come off on one of the targets. I said I was tired of paying to have my arrows fletched and today I was going to buy a fletching jig and learn how to do it myself. He looks me dead in the eye and said "don't waste your money on a jig, I just hold them on with my hand until the glue dries. I ain't never had one come off yet".


I do it regularly. I am equipment oficer for our small club and if anyone loses a fletch I replace it there and then using eye and hand coordination and the arrow is ready to shoot within a few minutes.
I do own a fletching jig but only use it when building a full set of arrows.
Phil


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## Turokman123

philhoney said:


> I do it regularly. I am equipment oficer for our small club and if anyone loses a fletch I replace it there and then using eye and hand coordination and the arrow is ready to shoot within a few minutes.
> I do own a fletching jig but only use it when building a full set of arrows.
> Phil


Doesn't sound to accurate, why wouldn't you just do it on your jig really quick. It only takes 30 or so seconds :confused2:


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## genghiscarl

I just got done reading this thread, its like a bad car wreck! I can't seem to tear myself away!! I need more!


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## Allenbd

hahah one day I had a guy call up to the counter and told me that when he practices his bow is really loud...so i told him to bring it on up to me and I would check it out for him and go over the usual things that make bows loud. Anyways, he showed up about an hour later with his PSE that he bought from a friend. Before I could say anything he said " See watch how loud it is when I practice with no arrows" and pulled back and before I could say anything let go....I couldn't help it and just laughed. I asked if he did that a lot and he looked at me like I was crazy and was like yeah I don't have any arrows so I practice without them. hahaha, I explained to him why it was wrong and he didn't get it. I laugh everytime I tell that story.


----------



## genghiscarl

How did that bow not explode? Hahahaha. He doesn't know how lucky he is.


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## Allenbd

I also had a hippy come in about a week ago and he bought a bow and 4 dozen arrows for "the zombie attacks." I am not making this up, it was so hard to keep a straight face. Anyways, after I cut and inserted all 48 arrows I asked what kind of tips he wanted. He looked at me dead seriousley and said " I want the practice kind, I don't want any of the sharp talons on my arrows." hahaha


----------



## Allenbd

Last one, It cracks me up when someone has me take them to the range and sight them in at 20. I don't mind doing that because it is a break and gets me off the floor and is simple. What is funny is when it is some complete moron and he literally shoots 5 arrows - 2 of them a foot high, 1 of them 3 feet to the right, and 2 of them a foot to the left..and then they hand me their bow to sight it in. haha, I explain to them I won't touch it until they can at least shoot 5 arrows in the size of a dinner plate. Most people get pissed off and leave but idc because they are wasting my time.


----------



## Bryan Thacker

Saw a guy walk up to the archery counter at Bass Pro & asked the bowtech if he would get his bow sighted in for him.


----------



## KBacon

Used to work at a bow shop at one time & later at Gander archery & gun counters...

"what do you mean you're out of xxx??? Don't you know that deer season starts tomorrow??? You'd think that you would have stocked up!!!"

"this .17HMR won't hit the broad side of a barn...". Really??? Those are normally really accurate... Look at side of barrel & it reads .22 mag..

"I can't get these .300 win mag shells to load... The bolt won't close all the way... So I tried beating on the back of the bolt wih a ball peen hammer.. And it still won't close all the way!!!". Look at side of barrel & it says .300WSM 

"I don't like these new fangled bows... They keep slapping my arm!!!". Advise him that his elbow is locked in & his draw is too long "I've been doing this for 20yrs... You don't know what you're talking about... You're just trying to sell me something!!!". & storms out

Customer brings bow in pile of parts... I asked "who dry fired it?"... Kid gets guilty look on his face... And dad proceeds to yell at me & tell me that I sell junk... And that his kid could have gotten hurt


----------



## Allenbd

Bryan Thacker said:


> Saw a guy walk up to the archery counter at Bass Pro & asked the bowtech if he would get his bow sighted in for him.


haha I work at Bass Pro and this is an every day occurence


----------



## jodipuma

im trying to get a job at scheels so i cand tell some of my own stories haha


----------



## WhoKnows

Ron Bennington said:


> Buddies of mine took a bowhunter education class in Colorado. The guy teaching the class was some ham-n-egger dope. He read the stuff in the manual to the class and shared the following gem of wisdom when he read everything there was to read in his teachin' book.....
> 
> "A bow is capable of shooting arrows in excess of 2,800 feet per second. They are dangerous at distances in excess of a mile."
> 
> 
> Hmmm must have been talking about a hoyt


----------



## rancher011

I got some but I don't work at a shop its just the things people say to me or that I overhear. My biggest peeve is how all these box stores put useless idiots behind counters to sell stuff(some not all). Like one time I was at my local Dick's and I was just looking at the rangefinders in the optics counter and the guy behind the counter says, "can I help you" and I say, "well I'm just lookin for a rangefinder that will be good to use for bow and gun season", so he hands me a nikon archer's choice(first year they were out). He proceeds to tell me that this was the best rangefinder for me because it ranged out to 1000 yards and had angle i.d. I knew better and after me arguing with him for a couple minutes trying to tell him it only ranged to 99.9 yards he finally decided to pull out the box and show me it said a 1000 yards. Should of seen his face when he read the box off to me and it said max range of 99.9 yards lol. One other time at a Bass Pro I was just lookin at bows like I always do and the guy behind the archery counter seen me holding one of the Diamonds they had and asked me if I was interested in buying a bow I told him I was just looking and that I didn't need another bow because I had just bought a Pse Axe 6. He looked me dead in the face serious as can be and says why would you buy a cheap piece of crap like that those Diamond's are like ten times better lol. Many more but this post is already too long.


----------



## Allenbd

rancher011 said:


> I got some but I don't work at a shop its just the things people say to me or that I overhear. My biggest peeve is how all these box stores put useless idiots behind counters to sell stuff(some not all). Like one time I was at my local Dick's and I was just looking at the rangefinders in the optics counter and the guy behind the counter says, "can I help you" and I say, "well I'm just lookin for a rangefinder that will be good to use for bow and gun season", so he hands me a nikon archer's choice(first year they were out). He proceeds to tell me that this was the best rangefinder for me because it ranged out to 1000 yards and had angle i.d. I knew better and after me arguing with him for a couple minutes trying to tell him it only ranged to 99.9 yards he finally decided to pull out the box and show me it said a 1000 yards. Should of seen his face when he read the box off to me and it said max range of 99.9 yards lol. One other time at a Bass Pro I was just lookin at bows like I always do and the guy behind the archery counter seen me holding one of the Diamonds they had and asked me if I was interested in buying a bow I told him I was just looking and that I didn't need another bow because I had just bought a Pse Axe 6. He looked me dead in the face serious as can be and says why would you buy a cheap piece of crap like that those Diamond's are like ten times better lol. Many more but this post is already too long.


I know what ya mean. I have had some complete moron co-workers, but luckily most of the ones like you speak of don't last long.


----------



## cbrewer450

I'm jealous of all you guys that have a Dicks, BPS, or Cabelas to go into and get all these great stories. I have a Dicks nearby, they don't carry archery stuff. Nearest BPS is a bit over 2 hours away. Then there's Sport Chalet, they don't carry anything either. I wish I could go to one just to look at new stuff. I'm feeling so deprived right now.
Again, keep those funny ones coming. Great reading.


----------



## apache pilot

wttf?


----------



## Turokman123

apache pilot said:


> wttf?


x2.......:no:


----------



## Jwillman6

The bowshop in this area is very expensive. He charges $300-325 to restring a bow and usually he uses Barracuda strings. All he does is restring the bow and "Lazer Tunes" the bow and he charges this much. Two guys brought in two very old compounds and I had never heard of either brand. The shop owner shows them some bows and says if you do not want that I can restring those bows for about $300-325 and they will be just like new. They would have been lucky to get $100 for each bow after they were restrung.


----------



## fire652

I was setting up a bow and the client asked which way he cock feather went in the hairy biscuit. Still laugh about it


----------



## HotnTot

Was in scheels the other day picking up my new bow. Guy came in with a longbow and asked for a string, he then asked if he could be expecting speeds of around 400 fps. The he went to shoot it through the chrono, halfway through the draw the bow snapped into 3 pieces. Turns out it was a decoration never meant to even be strung lol


----------



## Allenbd

Jwillman6 said:


> The bowshop in this area is very expensive. He charges $300-325 to restring a bow and usually he uses Barracuda strings. All he does is restring the bow and "Lazer Tunes" the bow and he charges this much. Two guys brought in two very old compounds and I had never heard of either brand. The shop owner shows them some bows and says if you do not want that I can restring those bows for about $300-325 and they will be just like new. They would have been lucky to get $100 for each bow after they were restrung.


that is absolutley horse sh**!!! We are allowed to charge a 10 dollar press fee but as long as the guy isn't a ****** I just waive and and charge the price of the string. I can have someone out the door with baracuddas (strings and cables) for 70$.....those prices are unheard of!


----------



## LiteSpeed1

Allenbd said:


> that is absolutley horse sh**!!! We are allowed to charge a 10 dollar press fee but as long as the guy isn't a ****** I just waive and and charge the price of the string. I can have someone out the door with baracuddas (strings and cables) for 70$.....those prices are unheard of!


I agree! If that shop charged even half of that, he will be going out of business real soon.


----------



## HotnTot

TtT


----------



## nonamebob

Ttt


----------



## Quicksliver

fire652 said:


> I was setting up a bow and the client asked which way he cock feather went in the hairy biscuit. Still laugh about it


Actually, the WBs have stiffer black bristles at the bottom. Pretty sure you don't want the cock feather going through those if you can help it.


----------



## fishfurlife

Dang, I read 2 pages of this thread and am less than impressed with the way that some people are treated (whether it is to their face or behind their back). We were all a beginner at one point or another and not all of us had the luxury of having an experienced archer to learn from. To see the words moron and idiot thrown around in this thread is pretty sad.


----------



## darbyjean95

one of my co workers over heard me talking about bow hunting and said he shoots bows too. i asked him what kind of bow he shoots, he said "one of those combine bows" i asked him if he meant compound bow and he nodded and said "yeah the kind with the circles on the end" :frusty:


----------



## Bugs Bunnyy

fishfurlife said:


> Dang, I read 2 pages of this thread and am less than impressed with the way that some people are treated (whether it is to their face or behind their back). We were all a beginner at one point or another and not all of us had the luxury of having an experienced archer to learn from. To see the words moron and idiot thrown around in this thread is pretty sad.


It's ok I have been one of those idiots and this thread is hilarious. 


Sent from my iPod touch using a telegraph line.


----------



## OlsenG_360

fishfurlife said:


> Dang, I read 2 pages of this thread and am less than impressed with the way that some people are treated (whether it is to their face or behind their back). We were all a beginner at one point or another and not all of us had the luxury of having an experienced archer to learn from. To see the words moron and idiot thrown around in this thread is pretty sad.


meh...it's just talk. the same way the auto parts store guys rag on a gullible customer behind their back after they ask for a 710 cap or a muffler belt. I'm not saying it's right, but sometimes it's just too funny to leave alone.


----------



## TheScOuT

I saw a guy come into the local shop and put his Matthews case up on the counter. He opened it up and the bow looked like a mess. Out comes a Z7 with string all shredded...bow tech says "what happened here, dry fire?" The guy says "no...my serving was too long and I tried to cut some off to increase speed, I tried to cut it with a broad head"


----------



## LiteSpeed1

fishfurlife said:


> Dang, I read 2 pages of this thread and am less than impressed with the way that some people are treated (whether it is to their face or behind their back). We were all a beginner at one point or another and not all of us had the luxury of having an experienced archer to learn from. To see the words moron and idiot thrown around in this thread is pretty sad.


I agree with what you said about being a beginner, but some posts actually were about the shop "pro" techs being idiots. I've seen some of these guys and the moniker fits.


----------



## bvillmek79

darbyjean95 said:


> one of my co workers over heard me talking about bow hunting and said he shoots bows too. i asked him what kind of bow he shoots, he said "one of those combine bows" i asked him if he meant compound bow and he nodded and said "yeah the kind with the circles on the end" :frusty:


Ahahahah That's great! I always get a kick out of people when they say stuff like that. I try not to laugh in front of them but sometimes I just can't help it


----------



## catfishmafia76

LiteSpeed1 said:


> I agree with what you said about being a beginner, but some posts actually were about the shop "pro" techs being idiots. I've seen some of these guys and the moniker fits.


Thats not to even mention some of the "old pro's" who don't know their rear end from a hole in the ground, yet have to talk about how great of a bow hunter they are. I have all the sympathy and patience for a newbie and would bend over backwards to bring someone up to speed and help them learn the basics of how the bow works but when you get the "know it all" who just wants to blow smoke and tell lies, I think it's 100% ok to laugh after they are gone.


----------



## bowsmack

There is a little sporting goods store in the town I live in that carries some archery stuff. I heard they were having a half off sale. So I went in there and they had ripcords for half price and he also had two packages of muzzy mx3's half priced. So I told him I wanted a ripcord and I would take both packages of the muzzys . The guy told me he also had replacent blades for the broad heads . He lays a package of rage replacement blades down. A friend of mine went into the same store and bought a ripcord and had the store owner to put it on. He also bought some arrows had them cut and inserted there. He came over to my house and was sighting his bow in. His arrows were flying every where but to the target. I asked to see his bow and his ripcord rest was flopping around. Nothing was tight on it . And to top it all of he said the store owner put lock tight on his field points and screwed them in . Go figure.


----------



## YoungTNArcher

Just finished reading all 29 pages, TTT! Going to Bass Pro tomorrow....


----------



## jeffco

fire652 said:


> I was setting up a bow and the client asked which way he cock feather went in the hairy biscuit. Still laugh about it


Now that is freaking hilarious!!!


----------



## Bones816

Quicksliver said:


> Actually, the WBs have stiffer black bristles at the bottom. Pretty sure you don't want the cock feather going through those if you can help it.


I think the funny part is that he called it a "hairy bisquit".


----------



## Armed_AL

apache pilot said:


> or the kid who comes in with the old bow his dad gave him. you know like this one and asks if this is a good bow.


That thing looks as sketchy as a Onida Eagle


----------



## Fletch125

Watched a kid send an arrow across a shop......it was one of those aluminum arrows with measurements to determine arrow length.......tech forgot to give him the anti-dry fire release and the kid slipped the trigger........good news is now they have a new place to hang coats.


>-FLETCH-->


----------



## hjort jagare

Had a customer the other day who wanted his bow looked over to make sure he was good to go this fall. I told him the string and cable looked bad and should be changed to be safe. He said I was full of it because this is a Mathews bow with Zebra strings and they are good for AT LEAST ten years.:angry: OOPS What was I thinking?


----------



## xcr 1.5

I was at Bargain Hunter over here in WA and listened in on a conversation between the archery department owner and a customer. The customer showed the owner (Tony) his bow and asked him to paper tune the bow. I'm pretty sure it was an older Hoyt. Tony asked me to stop shooting for a couple minutes and I said thats no problem. Tony asks to see the mans bow and procedes to put a couple arrows through the paper. I heard Tony say that it was shooting a perfect bullet hole. The man looked slightly perplexed and asked if he could try. He picks up the bow and is barely able to draw the bow. When he goes to put his finger on his release I couldnt tell if he was shooting or if he had a minor case of tourettes. He almost missed the paper at about 10 feet and he had a very ugly paper tear. The customer then said to the owner, "Youre form must be off because it isnt working."

I literally couldnt breathe for a little bit after that because I was laughing so hard.


----------



## scorpionwof

ttt


----------



## gutpilz

These stories have been great way of passing the evening, wish I had some to share.


----------



## Fletch125

Been reading these and laughing for 3 hours straight so far....


>-FLETCH-->


----------



## Goathollerbucks

Had a guy come into a local shop. And asked if there were any new of them devil bows in im holding an omen pro... and i said u mean the omen? He says yeah can i shoot that jeff? (Store owner) jeff is a wise ass so he says. Watch out it may be cursed... its a devil bow remember.. and he gives Joe a weird scared look. Then slowly turns his head to me. I do the yep its true head nod. He quickly puts the bow on the hook and wipes his hands on his pants as if he picked up a dead fish... im tryin not to laugh. Joe was already laughin. That guy walked up to the counter and gets right across from joe... points right at him and says joe if you ever try to curse me with another one of your demon bows ill have you shutdown!! He storms out and slams the door hard! I say. Joe why do u think he had you show him the "devil" bow if he was gonna act like that? A
And i turn around and he has his head down on the counter laughin un comtrollably!! Then i finally cracked lol


----------



## Goathollerbucks

Auto type put joe lol insert jeff for all the joes


----------



## jjtrain44

yesterday i was at sportsmans warehouse when a guy in his 40's came up to me and started a conversation in the archery section, he was a very nice fella and we chatted back and forth about what bows we used where we hunted and so on, then he walked away for a few minutes only to return with one of the HME bow hangers that screw into the tree while your in stand, he held it out and asked me where the screw in tip went into your bow cause he had no holes on his that big , do they make an adapter for it... i just reached out flipped the package over to the pictures on back and walked away smiling


----------



## Fletch125

Well im colorblinded and shot at a 4pt last year. Thought i missed so i was so concerned over my $70 arrows that i did a firefighter slide down the ladder stand to get my arrow. It was broken in half. Disappointed i met up to regroup with my buddies. Once i found them, they inspected my arrow and saw it was covered in blood.........never found the deer sadly(after 4 hours of tracking on a school night) and earned the nickname "TP" since i cant see the bloodtrain and have to mark it with toilet paper -_-


>-FLETCH-->


----------



## BowTechForever

The best one ever was when the guy came in with dozen or so arrows with blood on just the broadhead tips. He said to the bow technician (my good friend is the technician) the guy said, ' I think I need to buy one one of those bow things with the wheels on it, I went hunting, but whenever I threw these at the deer they just bounced off! My buddy and I were laughing the guy threw the arrows on the counter and left. We laughed so hard we couldnt breath


----------



## Fletch125

Some hippie girl walks into gander wearing a long white sun dress thing and flip flops and puts what has to be a 20 year old kids bow on the counter and demands that it be restrung. It had steel cables and she didnt understand why i wouldnt be restrung. She huffed and puffed and walked away with her hippie boyfriend angrily............this bow had plastic limbs and round cams. One of those "really?" situations. Or the kid who dry fired his bow and claimed it derailed its self, despite the string being severed completely in half....


>-FLETCH-->


----------



## BowTechForever

Or the time the guy came in and asked to try out a new bowtech. He walked over to the range and tried to shoot the bow. Before the owner tom could just change the draw, the guy picks up a pair of scissors and tries to cut the string. Tom ripped the bow out of the guys hand and said What are you doing. The guy said i was just gonna cut it down a couple inches.


----------



## xcr 1.5

BowTechForever said:


> Or the time the guy came in and asked to try out a new bowtech. He walked over to the range and tried to shoot the bow. Before the owner tom could just change the draw, the guy picks up a pair of scissors and tries to cut the string. Tom ripped the bow out of the guys hand and said What are you doing. The guy said i was just gonna cut it down a couple inches.


Some people just shouldnt have kids.


----------



## Ttowe

A few years back i was at one of the local shops with my friend trying to help him decide between a couple bows. the owner takes him back to the range and has him shoot a few arrows with each to see how they felt in his hand. well a few shots later the owner decides to have my friend draw and shoot with his eyes closed. At full draw the owner puts his hand back on the riser and at the same time my friend released an arrow straight through his hand. standing there spewing blood his wife walks in and says " Jesus not again."


----------



## crazy4hunting

Ttowe said:


> A few years back i was at one of the local shops with my friend trying to help him decide between a couple bows. the owner takes him back to the range and has him shoot a few arrows with each to see how they felt in his hand. well a few shots later the owner decides to have my friend draw and shoot with his eyes closed. At full draw the owner puts his hand back on the riser and at the same time my friend released an arrow straight through his hand. standing there spewing blood his wife walks in and says " Jesus not again."


Yup, I'd of lost it.


----------



## Newhunter1

Ttowe said:


> A few years back i was at one of the local shops with my friend trying to help him decide between a couple bows. the owner takes him back to the range and has him shoot a few arrows with each to see how they felt in his hand. well a few shots later the owner decides to have my friend draw and shoot with his eyes closed. At full draw the owner puts his hand back on the riser and at the same time my friend released an arrow straight through his hand. standing there spewing blood his wife walks in and says " Jesus not again."


Did your friend at least buy the bow?


----------



## RxBowhunter

A friend of a friend told us he had hunted turkey "with a 12Ga turkey rifle once".....


----------



## mazer

manybows said:


> Heard the best one ever, not at a shop but at a 3-D shoot. A mutual buddy joined us at a shoot and stated that his bow had just been repaired....his *cervix* was broken. I thought I was going to shoot Mt Dew out of my nose!!! Worst thing was, he repeated it several times...I did not have the heart or the composure to correct him.....I can't tie a serving to this day without chuckling. I consider this to be the crown jewel of malaprops


I was drinking water when I read this. Glad I was outside on my phone and not at my computer


----------



## dxtbowhuntersj

hjort jagare said:


> Had a customer the other day who wanted his bow looked over to make sure he was good to go this fall. I told him the string and cable looked bad and should be changed to be safe. He said I was full of it because this is a Mathews bow with Zebra strings and they are good for AT LEAST ten years.:angry: OOPS What was I thinking?


This is funny. However, my mq32 had the original strings for 8 years.


----------



## maufenkamp

This thread rocks and after 29 pages, my story's kinda dumb but here it is...

Last summer my local archery shop closed their doors and I was forced to go to Scheels. I was in there one day, discussing stabilzers with an employee who was hell-bent on selling me an Axion stabilizer, despite the fact that it completely defeated the reason why I was looking to replace my stabilizer in the first place. I told him the stabilizer I had was too heavy for my taste and I was interested in purchasing something that didn't protrude past the extreme front of the bow, and only needed to act as a vibration dampner, not so much as a stabilizer. After listening to him go on and on about his illustrious 3D career and his numerous trophy hunts (He was 20ish) he asked me what kind of stabilizer I had. I told him it was a Doinker. He said: "Doinker? Never heard of them." I tried as hard as I could to be polite and said: "Really? Because they're... pretty... popular...?" You wanna talk about an awkward moment...

Aside from that I was pretty peeved the very first time I set foot in there and was directed to the "bicycle shop" to have my arrows cut. Needless to say they were taken back out of the box and measured before I left. They were cut right though, can't complain I guess.


----------



## BowTechForever

apache pilot said:


> i missed a turkey at 15 yards. thats pretty hilarious:embara:


 I missed a bird standing still at 9 feet... twice!:dancing:


----------



## BowTechForever

Ok so now i have the ultimate one for you guys. I finished using a bottle of code blue doe in heat scent and then read a good prank in outdoor life. I ran it through the dishwasher and sterilized it. I filled it with A&W rootbeer and capped it. I went into the bow shop and set it on the scent shelf. A guy came into the aisle and started looking at the scents. He picked up the bottle of doe urine next to my rootbeer. He said " Is this any good for hunting, or is it all hype? I calmly said " Oh yeah its great! Keeps me focused and gives me a real rush!" I then picked up the bottle and chugged it. I said ahhhhhhh that was good at the end. The guy gave me a strange look and then proceeded to buy 4 bottles. My friend who is the tech, Tom, just started rolling on the floor behind the counter and laughing. Best one ever1


----------



## Michael Myers

BowTechForever said:


> Ok so now i have the ultimate one for you guys. I finished using a bottle of code blue doe in heat scent and then read a good prank in outdoor life. I ran it through the dishwasher and sterilized it. I filled it with A&W rootbeer and capped it. I went into the bow shop and set it on the scent shelf. A guy came into the aisle and started looking at the scents. He picked up the bottle of doe urine next to my rootbeer. He said " Is this any good for hunting, or is it all hype? I calmly said " Oh yeah its great! Keeps me focused and gives me a real rush!" I then picked up the bottle and chugged it. I said ahhhhhhh that was good at the end. The guy gave me a strange look and then proceeded to buy 4 bottles. My friend who is the tech, Tom, just started rolling on the floor behind the counter and laughing. Best one ever1


So what if he goes home drinks it and gets sick?That too me isnt funny,i worked in an Archery shop and would not do that to a Customer.


----------



## Whaack

GrizzlyMan1980 said:


> So what if he goes home drinks it and gets sick?That too me isnt funny,i worked in an Archery shop and would not do that to a Customer.


Then he gets sick and has a great story to tell for years. What's the worst that could happen?


----------



## elkhunter130

76Scout-Dad said:


> OK, well, I was the customer and I heard the "tech" say the crazy thing. I had a dozen Easton’s that I simply needed cut so I could fletch them up for my wife. I took them to a Bass Pro that’s on my way home from work. Walked up to the counter, asked the young man if he wouldn’t mind cutting these down. He said sure, took the arrows from me. Looked at them with this funny expression on his face for about 20 seconds. He them addressed me, looked me square in the eye and asked, “What are these arrows made of?”. Took me a minute to ponder if he was serious, and by the look on his face I knew he was. I calmly replied…”Aluminum”.
> The kid then proceeded to tell me that he’d never seen “metal” arrows before.


OK this one get to me WoW


----------



## Newhunter1

GrizzlyMan1980 said:


> So what if he goes home drinks it and gets sick?That too me isnt funny,i worked in an Archery shop and would not do that to a Customer.


Well not to be hard, but if a person drinks something that is labeled as doe urine then his sickness is on him.


----------



## Michael Myers

Newhunter1 said:


> Well not to be hard, but if a person drinks something that is labeled as doe urine then his sickness is on him.


True enough,But there there to Help a Customer,lol


----------



## Michael Myers

Whaack said:


> Then he gets sick and has a great story to tell for years. What's the worst that could happen?


Lol,Maybe but when he found out he wasnt supposed to drink it,Maybe he would not bring business back to that Shop.lol


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## HNT2000

I'm going to add a dumb question to this for a laugh. I have two bottles of doe in heat urine left over from last season. Will it be useable this fall or is it amonia now? lol sorry guys had to ask I'm cheap and always trying to save a few bucks.


----------



## tiny52

Allenbd said:


> hahah one day I had a guy call up to the counter and told me that when he practices his bow is really loud...so i told him to bring it on up to me and I would check it out for him and go over the usual things that make bows loud. Anyways, he showed up about an hour later with his PSE that he bought from a friend. Before I could say anything he said " See watch how loud it is when I practice with no arrows" and pulled back and before I could say anything let go....I couldn't help it and just laughed. I asked if he did that a lot and he looked at me like I was crazy and was like yeah I don't have any arrows so I practice without them. hahaha, I explained to him why it was wrong and he didn't get it. I laugh everytime I tell that story.


Not for nothing ... that says a lot about that particular bows stamina!


----------



## P&y only

here's my favorite yet. A guy brought me a bow to tune.While checking it over I noticed the bottom cam had TERRIBLE lean. Since it was a new bow under warranty, I suggested he take it back to where he got it and address it with them. It was bad enough that it was gonna be a weak limb or reversed deflections. So he takes it back. waits two weaks and then is told, and I quote: " nothing we can do. All bows have their own personality! " WOW! roflmao. He sent it to the manufacturer and they promptly fixed it and sent it back. I'm still shakin my head on this one.


----------



## zwalls

dtrkyman said:


> guy calls asking to see about making his bow more quiet,upon further investigation he didnt have any arrows yet:mg:


:chortle: :chortle:


----------



## tiny52

Not at a shop but rather at a public archery range in Ohio.
guy in a wheel chair with a longbow is lecturing me on shooting. (He has never seen me shoot).
While he is making this big show for everyone to see, a doe runs through the field behind us...100+ yards away.
"That deer would be mine!" He proclaims.
The lecture continues on for some time with him giving me pointers.... and telling me what I am doing wrong.

After too long, he has a crowd gathered and is handing out his cards.
Wanna see what you can do with a bow like this?,he asks. Sure I say.
He shoots 3 arrows in a 8" group around the bulls eye.

Let me see you do that he says. I nock an arrow on my own Longbow and pinwheel The bulls eye.
I left after pulling my arrow as did everyone else.
I kinda felt bad for him.


----------



## tiny52

Viper69 said:


> I had a guy come in yesterday and tell me how great the Rage broadheads were. I told him they all are good if you hittem where you should and he replied "No you can hit them anywhere and it will kill them". I stated that you better not hit solid bone and he said no problem they will blow through any bone out there!


Heck! , did you get his AT handle?


----------



## tiny52

NV200 said:


> Was at the shop the other day and over heard a funny phone call to a tech. She answered the phone and sat there with a blank stare on her face until she said;"Sir you will need to bring that down for us to look at, I can't really help you over the phone". When she hung up she looked at me and the owner of the shop and said; "That guy needs a new string for his Single Cam Recurve?"
> 
> Now I'm not that new to archery and I know there are some weird old bows out there but I've never heard of a singe cam recurve. We had a good laugh.


 Dynabow was what he was describing. Now I. Am having a good laugh. Typical shop!


----------



## ttank0789

I was at BPS with my girlfriend a couple days ago and we were in the archery section looking at bows because she wants to start bowhunting. The tech came around into the isle we were in and started talking to us. This was the conversation (not exactly word for word).
Tech: "Did you guys see that?" 
Me: "You mean the guy in the hospital gown?" 
Tech: "No, there was a guy looking at bows and he wanted to have his daughter try to draw one back so he pushed the zip tie on the string up. It was where it would have rolled into the cam if he had drawn back. I told him not to do it and he got all crappy with me and said I know what the hell I'm doing."
Me: "That's crazy! What a moron. But what was the deal with the guy in the hospital gown looking at crossbows?"
Tech: Oh he just got out of the hospital and wants to buy some ammo."


----------



## moosemeat

i had a fellow call me about purchasing a crossow and i told him all the info so he agreed on a xbow and asked if could send me half the money now and i hold on to the bow and when he got out of prison he would bring me the rest(still had 8mths to go).i turn down the request


----------



## shaffer88

Have seen one of those. Funny how the story turns

Sent from my DROIDX using Tapatalk 2


----------



## escout402

Awesome reading!


----------



## snowhammer85

Such a great thread !!!


----------



## Rod Savini

I was at a shop and wanted to try a rkt element. So I ask the clerk where is the tech is and he shows me to a 16 year old kid. Well he takes me over there and gives me the bow and saws draw it back. I said, no, needs a dloop before anything. Needless to say, I never tried one and left laughing.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


----------



## ONEiiSHOTiiDROP

the next round of these should be happening soon... any stories from this year yet?


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## BLan

ONEiiSHOTiiDROP said:


> the next round of these should be happening soon... any stories from this year yet?


Funny you should mention that. I stop in the Dumb Dumbs (Dunham's) in Bellefontaine Ohio last evening, just looking for some Easton Super Nocks and some other small misc. parts. I should have known better, but I thought I'd give it a try. So I look through the isle and the only knocks I saw were for swedged arrows. I found the other part I was looking for and thought I'd check with an associate. I couldn't believe that they would only have swedged knocks. The kid that I asked looked at my like I farted and told a gentleman who was looking at a crossbow he'd be right back with him, that he didn't know what the box was for on the stock of the Ten Point Crossbow. He stubled around the isle and kept saying, "what are you wanting? then said you need to ask the manager." By this time, the manager was working with the guy looking at the crossbow and being about as much help as the young kid. The Manager told the guy, "I need to go get the book to see what it is and how it works." When he went to the back I showed the guy that it was for cocking the crossbow and even demonstrated how it worked, pulling the crank handle out of the stock. About that time the manager came back out and said, "That crossbow is not the one on clearance, it was priced wrong." Well duh, who prices a $849 on clearance for $499? that was very apparent, that would be more than likely below cost. The guy started saying, I wanted it but I want it for the prace it was marked. I could tell it was going to get ugly, and knowing that the manager wasn't going to know what I was wanting either I walked away, put the other part back and walked out.


----------



## PA Dave

Not archery related, but we were at Bass Pro last week buying a wedding present and had to stop at the Service Desk at one point. The woman behind the counter was helping another woman with a return and as they finished up asked:

BPS: "Do you want me to get rid of the bag for you?" 
Customer (sounding cautious): "Do you recycle them?"
BPS (without hesitation and straight-faced): "No, we are anti-environment."

The customer looked like she was going to pass out from shock, so the BPS woman let her know she was kidding. Some people have no sense of humor, but we laughed about it for the 45 minute drive home.


----------



## crankn101

Viper69 said:


> I had a guy come in yesterday and tell me how great the Rage broadheads were. I told him they all are good if you hittem where you should and he replied "No you can hit them anywhere and it will kill them". I stated that you better not hit solid bone and he said no problem they will blow through any bone out there!





tiny52 said:


> Heck! , did you get his AT handle?


 It was nice meeting you viper69.


----------



## Sukpad89

huntingfishing said:


> one tech told me that someone came in earlier and bought a whisker biscuit and a half dozen arrows. the guy buying said that he was gonna put the biscuit on a sling shot and launch arrows out of it. Tech laughed and said...you go right ahead buddy.


Its called a sling bow. Dave Canterbury best known from the Discovery Show Dual Survival suposidly invented it with those improvements and decided not to pattent it, but share the idea for kids to make their own. I think it is a great idea.

Here is a video
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-6LxKfpAPYA


----------



## Dbyrum72

Ttt


----------



## AmishArcher

i sold some aluminum arrows to a guy and offered to cut them for him. He thanked me and said "cut them to 24""

I thought htis was strange but maybe he'd bought some cheapo's for his kid or somthing. 

I cut them and installed the inserts and shipped them.

He got all over my case a week later when the uni bushing nocks wouldn't work on his crossbow... I told him its a different nock end and usually the bolts are advertised as such, He was mad and wanted me to take them back and give him his money back. I didn't.


----------



## AmishArcher

moosemeat said:


> i had a fellow call me about purchasing a crossow and i told him all the info so he agreed on a xbow and asked if could send me half the money now and i hold on to the bow and when he got out of prison he would bring me the rest(still had 8mths to go).i turn down the request



 you were his one phonecall


----------



## Copenhagen206

Most of these sound like the redhead from American Pie, but should be "This one time at Bass Pro Shop......" lol:wink:


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## vonfoust

PA Dave said:


> Not archery related, but we were at Bass Pro last week buying a wedding present and had to stop at the Service Desk at one point. The woman behind the counter was helping another woman with a return and as they finished up asked:
> 
> BPS: "Do you want me to get rid of the bag for you?"
> Customer (sounding cautious): "Do you recycle them?"
> BPS (without hesitation and straight-faced): "No, we are anti-environment."
> 
> The customer looked like she was going to pass out from shock, so the BPS woman let her know she was kidding. Some people have no sense of humor, but we laughed about it for the 45 minute drive home.


Wish people would have gone to Bass Pro for my wedding presents.


----------



## hjort jagare

I had to bump this.:wink: Today we had a customer asking if we had arrows for LEFT HANDED bows?


----------



## catfishmafia76

ttank0789 said:


> I was at BPS with my girlfriend a couple days ago and we were in the archery section looking at bows because she wants to start bowhunting. The tech came around into the isle we were in and started talking to us. This was the conversation (not exactly word for word).
> 
> Me: "That's crazy! What a moron. But what was the deal with the guy in the hospital gown looking at crossbows?"
> Tech: Oh he just got out of the hospital and wants to buy some ammo."


Now thats a man with something on his mind. Just give him plenty of room and stay behind him!!!


----------



## 9 point

The shop I work at part time there was a guy looking at new crossbows and his buddy was telling him he wont be a real archer because he isnt shooting a compound. I put my 2 cents worth in and made him mad. He was shooting a new Hoyt with sights stabilizer, peep, release, etc etc I had to point out the he was just like his crossbow buying buddy. Neither of them where real archers


----------



## skynight

9 point said:


> The shop I work at part time there was a guy looking at new crossbows and his buddy was telling him he wont be a real archer because he isnt shooting a compound. I put my 2 cents worth in and made him mad. He was shooting a new Hoyt with sights stabilizer, peep, release, etc etc I had to point out the he was just like his crossbow buying buddy. Neither of them where real archers


Yes because you have to knap your own points and tie them on with sinew to be a REAL archer. Right?


----------



## sdavis

guy comes in to the shop and asks if i could help him get set up for deer season so i said yes no problem so i started to help him he was wanting a new bow. so i asked him if he was right or left handed he replied lefty so i showed him some left hand bows and he then asks with a puzzled look on his face whats left handed? i thought to myself he cant be serious so i told him its left handed the opposite of right handed. and he asked whats that by then i was getting frustrated wow some people.


----------



## skynight

sdavis said:


> guy comes in to the shop and asks if i could help him get set up for deer season so i said yes no problem so i started to help him he was wanting a new bow. so i asked him if he was right or left handed he replied lefty so i showed him some left hand bows and he then asks with a puzzled look on his face whats left handed? i thought to myself he cant be serious so i told him its left handed the opposite of right handed. and he asked whats that by then i was getting frustrated wow some people.


I think some newbies are confused that you draw with your dominant hand rather than hold and aim with it.


----------



## scottk517

ttt


----------



## whitedogone

I was in my local shop shooting the ***** and a guy walks in and wants some recurve arrows. The owner who is kind of a smart ***** says he only caries straight ones.


----------



## SecurityGuy

74treed said:


> An they wondered why some us did not want full inclusin of x-bows in archery, its not the weapon, its the individual behind it.


Agree100%. Lots of new "bowhunters" out there right now.


----------



## Double"O"

Rod Savini said:


> I was at a shop and wanted to try a rkt element. So I ask the clerk where is the tech is and he shows me to a 16 year old kid. Well he takes me over there and gives me the bow and saws draw it back. I said, no, needs a dloop before anything. Needless to say, I never tried one and left laughing.
> 
> 
> Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


havnt been shooting very long have ya?


----------



## Rod Savini

Double"O" said:


> havnt been shooting very long have ya?


No I have. I had contacted them before through email and said they would have one ready to try, then they give me a 16 year old and just hands it to me and says here, try it. 


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


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## sniperx043

Dont work at a sport shop but spend alot of time in one and one day when i was 16(now 24) i was hangin out there and a bigger guy(twice my size of 150#s) in his mid to late 20's looked like a NFL linebacker came in with his girlfriend wanting to buy a new bow so while he was looking at the bows he thought it would be a good time to try to impress his girl. he picked up a 70# bow began to look at it and was telling her that 70# is alot to pull back on a bow but he could do it. while he was over there struggling to barely pull it back to show her he could do i was just watching and kinda laughing. Me growing up shooting bows all my life was hunting with a 70# and pulling it no problem. The guy put the bow back on the shelf so i walked over and began to appear to interested in the bow he just put back. I pick the bow up and began to look at it, i slightly glanced over and saw they both were looking at me like i was crazy. I walked over to the range with it and nocked up an arrow while now both of them r still starring at me. I draw the bow right back fire down an arrow. looked at the bow and hung it back on the rack. I turned around and walked back toward the front counter left the guy and girl standing there, you could see on the girls face she wanted to laugh at the guy, and you could see on his face that he wanted to hurt me extreamly bad for making him look like a whimp. I just kinda laughed about it. believe it or not he bought a 60# bow after that(i dont think the girl knew the difference) LOL


----------



## 9 point

Skynight. Yep.


----------



## parkerbows

Rod Savini said:


> No I have. I had contacted them before through email and said they would have one ready to try, then they give me a 16 year old and just hands it to me and says here, try it.
> 
> 
> Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk



Confused why you need a loop to shoot a bow. Might prefer one but certainly isn't a neccessity to try a bow


----------



## Archer06

vonfoust said:


> Wish people would have gone to Bass Pro for my wedding presents.


Ok, I CANNOT resist. Please do not take offense, but ...

"if you go to Bass Pro Shop to look for a wedding present, you must be a *******" Jeff Foxworthy


----------



## PA Dave

The beautiful thing is that it was for something the _Bride_ wanted...there is _a lot_ of camo in their home.


----------



## JBrandon

ttt


----------



## Rod Savini

parkerbows said:


> Confused why you need a loop to shoot a bow. Might prefer one but certainly isn't a neccessity to try a bow


How are you suppose to shoot with a hook release, never try a bow without a dloop unless fingers is how you shoot. This is common knowledge archers! I feel like I am dumb! All I can say is REALLY!


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


----------



## Rolo

Rod Savini said:


> How are you suppose to shoot with a hook release, never try a bow without a dloop unless fingers is how you shoot. This is common knowledge archers! I feel like I am dumb! All I can say is REALLY!
> 
> 
> Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


Did you tell the kid that you wanted to shoot it with a "hook" release? Did you have it with you? (Not by what you originally posted.)

Oh, to answer your question...there are several different releases that allow the bow to be shot without a loop.


----------



## oldpro888

Awesome thread. Twenty years ago my friend and I were at a sportsmanship show. He tried a new Hoyt carbon plus. The guy was bragging about how good HE was and asked me if I shot. I lied a lot and said nope never did. He pushed me into shooting the bow after he did, 3 inch groups. What he didn't know was I shot for Hoyt, had the same bow I just set up from the factory. I shot five arrows, blew off two knocks and destroyed an arrow with 1/2 inch groups. Told him the bow shoots awesome. his expression was priceless


----------



## echatham

Rod Savini said:


> How are you suppose to shoot with a hook release, never try a bow without a dloop unless fingers is how you shoot. This is common knowledge archers! I feel like I am dumb! All I can say is REALLY!
> 
> 
> Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


you can shoot a caliper release with no string loop, i did for a long time. don't see why you wouldn't be able to with a hook release.


----------



## NYSBowman

echatham said:


> you can shoot a caliper release with no string loop, i did for a long time. don't see why you wouldn't be able to with a hook release.


Of course, you can shoot a compound without a d-loop. If d-loops were a necessity....EVERY bow would come with one from the factory.


----------



## skynight

Dloop arguments just aren't very funny.


----------



## Rolo

skynight said:


> Dloop arguments just aren't very funny.


True...but since this thread is "Funny Requests ..." and since someone went to a bow shop with the thought that compound bows must have loops in order to be shot with a release, couldn't be shot without one with a release in fact...it is kinda funny, and fits in the thread. :wink:


----------



## ksgoosekillr

Archer06 said:


> Ok, I CANNOT resist. Please do not take offense, but ...
> 
> "if you go to Bass Pro Shop to look for a wedding present, you must be a *******" Jeff Foxworthy


i only wish my registry would be at a bass pro or cabelas... and just fyi its "you might be a *******"


----------



## prairieboy

Over heard two ladies talking at the shop I go to." I wonder if they sell those whisker muffins here?"


----------



## shaffer88

prairieboy said:


> Over heard two ladies talking at the shop I go to." I wonder if they sell those whisker muffins here?"


Thanks for getting off dloop convo and back on the funny track. 

Sent from my DROIDX using Tapatalk 2


----------



## Michael Myers

sniperx043 said:


> Dont work at a sport shop but spend alot of time in one and one day when i was 16(now 24) i was hangin out there and a bigger guy(twice my size of 150#s) in his mid to late 20's looked like a NFL linebacker came in with his girlfriend wanting to buy a new bow so while he was looking at the bows he thought it would be a good time to try to impress his girl. he picked up a 70# bow began to look at it and was telling her that 70# is alot to pull back on a bow but he could do it. while he was over there struggling to barely pull it back to show her he could do i was just watching and kinda laughing. Me growing up shooting bows all my life was hunting with a 70# and pulling it no problem. The guy put the bow back on the shelf so i walked over and began to appear to interested in the bow he just put back. I pick the bow up and began to look at it, i slightly glanced over and saw they both were looking at me like i was crazy. I walked over to the range with it and nocked up an arrow while now both of them r still starring at me. I draw the bow right back fire down an arrow. looked at the bow and hung it back on the rack. I turned around and walked back toward the front counter left the guy and girl standing there, you could see on the girls face she wanted to laugh at the guy, and you could see on his face that he wanted to hurt me extreamly bad for making him look like a whimp. I just kinda laughed about it. believe it or not he bought a 60# bow after that(i dont think the girl knew the difference) LOL


Did she drop trou for you?Seems like she wanted too...Grizz


----------



## oldpro888

GrizzlyMan1980 said:


> Did she drop trou for you?Seems like she wanted too...Grizz


Wow embarrassing a customer trying to buy a bow in the owners shop on purpose just to show off. Class


----------



## gavinsublime

hunt1up said:


> Quick story, not a dumb request, but a dumb mistake, from my DAD!
> 
> I had a friend from AZ here for 2 weeks last October to bow hunt. One day after our morning hunt, My friend, dad, and myself went to a few archery shops to help my dad look at some new bows. My dad has owned a few bows, killed a few archery deer, but isn't a die hard archery hunter. He does a little of bow and gun each year. Needless to say, he knew how to shoot a bow and wasn't too bad of a shot.
> 
> We go to the first shop that carried Mathews, PSE, and Bear. He shot a DXT and a few others and really liked the DXT (He was shooting a 10 year old PSE). He was going to buy it, but I insisted he go to the shop that had Bowtech and Hoyt before he settled on the DXT. He agreed.
> 
> We get to the second shop and the guy behind the counter has my dad shoot a Turbohawk. He likes it. We then suggested he try an Alphamax too. Tech gets it all set up and hands my dad the release.
> 
> Now the good part. This shop has a 30 yard range and my dad was shooting from about 15 yards or so. All along the ceiling is a bunch of florescent light bulbs, about 8 footers or so. Anyway, be it that the bow as just different, or the release too sensitive, or perhaps the real reason, he just had his finger in the wrong spot, my dad drew back, on a bit of an upward angle, and THWACK! Glass started flying everywhere. He had released an arrow into the ceiling and about 8 giant light bulbs came crashing down!
> 
> The tech stayed calm and just said, "You aren't the first one." and hands my dad another arrow. The tech didn't even make a face! My friend and I had to walk away, I was truely crying with laughter. I have never felt more embarassed for someone else as I did for my dad that day. Needless to say, my dad bought the AM32 and has been shooting it proficiently ever since. They didn't even charge him for the bulbs, even though my dad insisted on paying for them. :darkbeer:


Presley's? lol


----------



## apache pilot

Top time for new ones


----------



## 2bwhnt

The family and I were in an archery shop shooting today and a couple of guys came in with traditional gear and began shooting. One was a young kid probably early twenties and I couldn't help but notice he was attempting to shoot a bear recurve with a release and d loop, no sights. Needless to say he wasn't having much luck.


----------



## Huntinsker

I had a 5'8" tall 60 year old guy tell me and another customer the other day that his bow shoots 345fps so he uses crossbow mechanical broadheads. I asked him what crossbow he shoots and he says, "It's not a crossbow, it's a Mathews." I said wow that's pretty fast then asked what model. He said he wasn't sure but it had a Z in it. Then he told me how he had a pro tune it that fast and the he can shoot that fast because he uses them carbon arrows. He was so serious I couldn't even laugh. 

This was just today a guy came in and wanted the cams timed on his kid's Bear Scout fiberglass compound bow. He said that his bow was shooting dead on at 30 yards with it but then the timing must have gone bad because he can't do that anymore.


----------



## Rod Savini

Huntinsker said:


> I had a 5'8" tall 60 year old guy tell me and another customer the other day that his bow shoots 345fps so he uses crossbow mechanical broadheads. I asked him what crossbow he shoots and he says, "It's not a crossbow, it's a Mathews." I said wow that's pretty fast then asked what model. He said he wasn't sure but it had a Z in it. Then he told me how he had a pro tune it that fast and the he can shoot that fast because he uses them carbon arrows. He was so serious I couldn't even laugh.
> 
> This was just today a guy came in and wanted the cams timed on his kid's Bear Scout fiberglass compound bow. He said that his bow was shooting dead on at 30 yards with it but then the timing must have gone bad because he can't do that anymore.


Now that's funny $h*t right their! Lmao!!!!


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


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## Bow Me

skynight said:


> Dloop arguments just aren't very funny.


You're just mad that my d-loop is bigger than yours.


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## outdoorsman3

"do you guys have rage broadheads?"


:behindsof:


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## Rod Savini

outdoorsman3 said:


> "do you guys have rage broadheads?"
> 
> 
> :behindsof:


Lmfao!!!!! You made my night!


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


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## twistedmetall

Im in tears laughing so hard, this is the best thread


----------



## cloquet

ttt


----------



## mtlenway

Quote Originally Posted by henry jay View Post
im looking for a smooth drawing,shock free,fast and forgiving matthews!hahahahahahahahahahah a
Guess he hasnt heard of the Z7 

My guess is Henry Jay has never shot and cant afford a Mathews.


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## AZBowhunt

hjort jagare said:


> I had to bump this.:wink: Today we had a customer asking if we had arrows for LEFT HANDED bows?


Some of you guys that think you are so smart are pretty ignorant. Why do you think there is a right and left helical? At one time the helical was different for a left and right handed bow to get the right fletching clearance you like. If the guy was a beginner, why would they know there is no difference now a days for fletching a left vs. right handed bow?

Quit being so arrogant, because I can bet you will be in a situation, with a new job, hobby, etc. and ask what may be considered a "dumb" question. You will not like being made to look like a fool. It makes you not want to ask another question, even if it is reasonable. 

Funny events are one thing, but when you (a tech) make a customer feel like an idiot, you should be fired. So, grow up.


----------



## AZBowhunt

whitedogone said:


> I was in my local shop shooting the ***** and a guy walks in and wants some recurve arrows. The owner who is kind of a smart ***** says he only caries straight ones.


Why is that funny? The shop owner is being an *****hole.


----------



## AZBowhunt

Rod Savini said:


> How are you suppose to shoot with a hook release, never try a bow without a dloop unless fingers is how you shoot. This is common knowledge archers! I feel like I am dumb! All I can say is REALLY!
> 
> 
> Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


You sir, need to learn a lot. My buddy, one of the better archers in the area shoots a clip on release on the string - no D Loop. Shoots great. Gives him an extra 1/2" or so of draw length. See my previous post about beeing so arrogant.


----------



## AZBowhunt

AZBowhunt said:


> You sir, need to learn a lot. My buddy, one of the better archers in the area shoots a clip on release on the string - no D Loop. Shoots great. Gives him an extra 1/2" or so of draw length. See my previous post about beeing so arrogant.


Sorry, I did not see the previous posts regarding this. My apologies for re-posting previous answers.


----------



## iceman14

AZBowhunt said:


> Some of you guys that think you are so smart are pretty ignorant. Why do you think there is a right and left helical? At one time the helical was different for a left and right handed bow to get the right fletching clearance you like. If the guy was a beginner, why would they know there is no difference now a days for fletching a left vs. right handed bow?
> Quit being so arrogant, because I can bet you will be in a situation, with a new job, hobby, etc. and ask what may be considered a "dumb" question. You will not like being made to look like a fool. It makes you not want to ask another question, even if it is reasonable.
> 
> Funny events are one thing, but when you (a tech) make a customer feel like an idiot, you should be fired. So, grow up.


Damn mr grinch, put a little more rum in that nog and lighten up.


----------



## catfishmafia76

oldpro888 said:


> Awesome thread. Twenty years ago my friend and I were at a sportsmanship show. He tried a new Hoyt carbon plus. The guy was bragging about how good HE was and asked me if I shot. I lied a lot and said nope never did. He pushed me into shooting the bow after he did, 3 inch groups. What he didn't know was I shot for Hoyt, had the same bow I just set up from the factory. I shot five arrows, blew off two knocks and destroyed an arrow with 1/2 inch groups. Told him the bow shoots awesome. his expression was priceless


Classic! I really liked this one.


----------



## jodipuma

i was shooting at the shop about 2 weeks ago and i was in the market for a new release and wanted to try a couple meanwhile a regular and his 7-8 year old son come in and walk up to the range after they say hi to the owner. his kid takes his bow out of the case(razors edge) and nocks and arrow and shoots at the target at 15yds. he compleatly misses the 3d turkey. by this time the owner grabs the releases i was looking at and i go to shooting. the kid misses 3 more times and in between his dad whispers something in his ear while im shooting. as i nock an arrow i hear the dad say something along the lines but not as nice like "you hit the target everytime my butt, you lieing little jerk. you better keep practicing" the dad walked out of the room and went to talk to the owner. so me hearing this i grab my arrows and the kids and walk back to talk to him. i tell him don't worry about his dad and that levi morgan didn't become a champ in one day of practicing. so we tweaked his bow and at 10 yds he started shooting alot better i also told him to keep it our little secret. after about 20 mins his dad came back in and seen his kid stacking arrows on that turkey and was shocked. he then started bragging to the owner at how good he was at tuneing his boys bow. the nerve of some people. needless to say the old man almost got cracked if he would of said another negative thing to the bow.


----------



## Rod Savini

AZBowhunt said:


> You sir, need to learn a lot. My buddy, one of the better archers in the area shoots a clip on release on the string - no D Loop. Shoots great. Gives him an extra 1/2" or so of draw length. See my previous post about beeing so arrogant.


But without a arrow though, how would I without a arrow, hook would slide up and down the string.


----------



## Sukpad89

I worked at cabelas for a few months and I worked a bunch of departments but always found myself walking around the archery and help a lot of customers.

First a scary story

So one day a customer came up and was looking at some arrows. They were beman ICS speed hunters. He picked up a pack of 500s up and looked puzzled. So I asked him how I could help. He said I want these arrows but I don't know how long to cut them. I asked if he had the bow with him and he said it was in his truck. So I told him to go and retrieve his stuff. I was going on a 10 min break and when I got back we can figure it all out... Cool and he takes off. I went outside for my break and I saw him at his car. It was a lifted 80's YJ on 35s. So I went back in and meet with the guy. He pulled out a D340 and I gave him an arrow and told him to draw back so I can mark the arrow with a sharpie and then we will know his length (best way I found to do it). About 29" but I realized he was shooting a maxed out 70# D340 and he wanted to shoot a 500 spine speed arrow, total weight maybe 330 grains when all was said and done. He would be shooting about a 4.7 grain per pound arrow.

So I told him that I recommended he shoot at least a 340 spine arrow but preferably even stiffer like a 330 or 300 with such an aggressive cam bow. Also the 500 spine arrow is like shooting a piece of uncooked spaghetti out of his rig. And I told him that 6+ grains per pound of pull will make his bow shoot better, quieter, and in general make everything nicer. He then claimed he was the god of archery and knew everything. These 500 spine arrow would be like shooting lazer beams through deer. He even pointed out that I worked at cabelas and not a real proshop so what did I know... After trying my best to convince him otherwise I ended up cutting the 500s and sent him on his way. I never saw him again and hope neither the arrows or his bow blew up before someone else got to him who he might listen too.

Now a funny one.

I had a customer come in and clearly he had no previous knowledge of anything to do with archery. He was middle aged, fairly fit, and sensible. I asked him what he was looking to do, and he said what they all do. I'm looking to pick up a new hobby and decided hunting would be fun. He wanted to get into archery because guns are evil. After we talked for a while and I explained how the different equipment worked and some good ways to start we started talking prices. I asked him his budget and he said he isn't looking to spend any more than $100. I had to explain to him how that is almost an impossible figure to begin hunting. The arrows alone will take up most of his budget, then you get a bow, dress it up, release, some camo or at least warm clothing, then a target, and it can go on and on as all of you guys know.

I told him it would be hard to begin on a budget any less than minimum $400 but usually at least $500. I also explained he should look on Ebay or AT for some used equipment. But this guy just couldn't fathom how a sport like archery could be so expensive. I told him about my decked out CE RKT and he almost blew a fuse. He started yelling at me like I was trying to be a highway robber. He literally started yelling at me about how ridiculous the prices of archery equipment is. He said a friend told him how his father had started back in the early 40s and it cost him less than $100.

I started to explain inflation and how new technology and material costs are no where near as low as they were then. He got so mad he started taking things off the shelf and throwing them around the entire department. That was the only time I had to call for the Asset protection that also sorta doubled as security to get up there and take the guy out and he was charged with destruction of property and something else like disturbing the peace.


----------



## nvarcher1

Any new stories!?


----------



## crankn101

Some great stories mixed in with DBs stroking their egos. :angel:


----------



## Metameateater

I used to hang out at a shop quite a bit when I had a broken jaw and couldn't work so I would spend my days there just listening to the things people would say and my favorite one was a guy who would come in the store look at everything they had and then ask for something he knew they didn't have like an atlatl or something silly like that. He also asked "hey why are them animals in Africa so big? I mean I know deer up north get bigger but that's cuz it's cold up there but it's hot in Africa so they should be small" He also was talking about them new high powered bows and said "c'mon guys how much genetic energy do ya need?"


----------



## makingscents

Most of the stuff I have seen or heard in shops is just sad. I guess it would be funny if I was to not care but since I do care, it is just sad.
However I do have one funny memory that wasn't as sad as most of the ones I have read so far.

Back in the mid 80's I was working with this kid who had too much money and time and who took an interest in my bowhunting stories. Well I was really big into the 3-D and had plenty of trophies and a pretty good sized ego at that time so he wanted me to hook him up.... seeing as how I was an expert and all.

I took him to my buddies shop and he bought everything I told him to without a word. We went to my place, I set it all up and then we went to the club to shoot. I don't think it took him 10 minutes to do everything perfectly. A honest to God natural if there ever was one.
Well now I am thinking that we will go shoot the course since he has taken to this so well and off we go.

I explain about judging distance and so on and then we start. After 28 targets (wish I hadn't grabbed those score cards) he had cleaned my clock and beaten the best score I had ever produced on that range. I was so totally blown away by his performance. Thank God he never rode me (like he should have) for talking tall about my own abilities all those days on the job. 

After all this time I will still occasionally check myself when offering my "professional" opinion because of how ridiculous I looked that day.


----------



## catchemall

I was in a local shop one time and a guy walked in and was perplexed as to why his brand new hoyt was so loud. The guy working told him to bring it out so he could shoot it and see. When he placed an arrow on the string the customer said "Oh, its only loud without arrows". Everyone in the shop was suprised this bow wasnt in 100 pieces.


----------



## Bowtech47

BuckKilla said:


> why don't you carry Bowtech? hahahaha still gets me every time


Why is that one funny? lol

Serious question ^


----------



## Bgargasz

Rod Savini said:


> I was at a shop and wanted to try a rkt element. So I ask the clerk where is the tech is and he shows me to a 16 year old kid. Well he takes me over there and gives me the bow and saws draw it back. I said, no, needs a dloop before anything. Needless to say, I never tried one and left laughing.
> 
> 
> Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


Lol wow. I shot for YEARS without a D loop. Peruse this thread you might find your story in it lol


----------



## Q2DEATH

Yea. Why do you need a d loop just to try it out? I agree that 16 year old kid probably put a story in here about him.


----------



## DrumdudeLarry

*Really?*

Sorry to revive this d-loop tangent, but...I can't resist. 



NYSBowman said:


> Of course, you can shoot a compound without a d-loop. If d-loops were a necessity....EVERY bow would come with one from the factory.


Following this logic...Rests are also unnessecary since they are not put on the bow at the factory!


----------



## kerrye

Wrong, two dogs. Very faulty logic. How many varieties of d-loops are there? Two, maybe three? How many varieties of rests? Mind boggling.




DrumdudeLarry said:


> Sorry to revive this d-loop tangent, but...I can't resist.
> 
> 
> 
> Following this logic...Rests are also unnessecary since they are not put on the bow at the factory!


----------



## MDJB12

MKNOX said:


> " My draw length is 30" " Gets me every time.


What's wrong with this?


----------



## budtripp

MDJB12 said:


> What's wrong with this?


Probably because most of the time the people saying that are built more like a hobbit than a basketball player :wink:


----------



## NEWYORKHILLBILLY

I used to work for a place called Louie's gun shop. But there was no Louie . the owners name was Bob people would come in all the time and tell me that they had talked to Louie and he agreed to sell him this gun for a certain price.


----------



## Chris1982

AZBowhunt said:


> Some of you guys that think you are so smart are pretty ignorant. Why do you think there is a right and left helical? At one time the helical was different for a left and right handed bow to get the right fletching clearance you like. If the guy was a beginner, why would they know there is no difference now a days for fletching a left vs. right handed bow?
> 
> Quit being so arrogant, because I can bet you will be in a situation, with a new job, hobby, etc. and ask what may be considered a "dumb" question. You will not like being made to look like a fool. It makes you not want to ask another question, even if it is reasonable.
> 
> Funny events are one thing, but when you (a tech) make a customer feel like an idiot, you should be fired. So, grow up.


I agree, insulting customers who are probably new to Archery isn't going to do our pasttime any good. I'm sure you all weren't born with your infinite knowledge of bows, you had to learn it at some point. Be patient with those who are learning these lessons later in life, not everyone was raised in a family that shoots/hunts.


----------



## jeff25

i went to a dicks earlier in the year to get some arrows. i got the ones i needed and asked the guy working if he could cut them for me. i couldnt remember the exact length my old ones were, so i asked if he wanted me to go grab my compound from the car so he could measure it. he proceedes to tell me he doesnt need me to, that he can check it. so he goes and grabbes a longbow, and puts one of the arrows with the measurment marks on it that measure arrow length, and tells me to draw it back and it will tell him my draw length. i drew it anyways and the guy didnt even look at my anchor point. i could have drawn it back behind my head or under drew and he would of cut the arrows the wrong length. 

needless to say, i just bought the arrows and took them somewhere else to be cut


----------



## snake1127

I called a shop about a Martin Cougar pro they had for sale, and after the third call about it, was told the bow guy up and quit, and "hey if you want a full time job (or know ANYBODY who does need a job) working on bows just come on up and see us"....I went with a Bear. LOL sry guys


----------



## Brownitsdown12

Just FYI it is actually pronounced penjalum. thats one thing i remember from high school english vocabulary.





apache pilot said:


> i had a guy come in the shop and ask to speak with T.M. Hunter one day. my stomach hurt for 2 days i laughed so hard with the guys. it seems as though every day i heard pendulum sights called pendleton and penjalum. what kind of funny things were asked in your bowshops?


----------



## Mumbles24

I was browsing in a larger chain store archery section while waiting for the long line of handgun droolers to subside. Young kid comes up and is chatting with the tech. After a bit the kid says his bow is a little loud and harsh on the release. Tech says something like got any jacks, tails or spiders on it? Kid says nope, do you have any vibrator suppositories? Tech looked at me, me at him, I walked back over to the gun counter.


----------



## Bowtech n ROSS

Best one I've had working in a shop. Had a women come in with an older martin. She had the bow in one hand moving it up and down like a dumbell. She then tells us this bow says it has a weight of 70lbs but it sure doesn't feel like its that heavy!


----------



## MsNipeR

Thanks guys for sharing all these stories! good readings on saturday eve inthe middle of northern sea! 3 days left:darkbeer:


----------



## g_c_c_23

Not from an archery shop but its still funny. 

I was in paying for gas a couple years back at a normal C store/gas station. The woman behind the counter was the owner. A guy walks up interrupting y conversation with her a woman I have know for several years. He says he need 4 new spark plugs put in and 3 new tires... The woman looks at him and says we are not a service station. He replies with I just need to make an appointment for 3 new tires and 4 spark plugs. Again with a blank look on his face he hears that it's not a service station. She ten says they don't do those kinds of things here. Then he gets angry and demands to speak with the manager. Who was also there so she calls the manager in and this kid says he would like to make a complaint to the owner. The manager turns to the owner and says apparently this man has a problem with you.


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## winn.cody

Had a guy come up saying he wants to get in to archery since he doesn't get out during gun season much. He points out the cheapest bow he sees and asks to see it (a Bear Apprentice). He asks if he can shoot it, so I'm thinking he's getting it for his boy or something. After shooting it he says, "So I guess all modern bows are going more toward the short draw length and light draw weight these days, huh?" I said, "Well, the youth bows are pretty small yea, but most adult bows have draw weights in the 50-70 pound range with 27-30" in draw length." He then proceeds to buy the bow, and ask me what kind of range he could kill a deer with it. I said, "Honestly, man that bow is not capable of any long range shooting." He says, "So maybe like 60-70 yards then?" I gave up at this point and let somebody else talk to him.

A different guy comes in with a couple buddies and asks me to cut some arrows for him. The guy is talking to his buddies about things in the store in a way that sounds like none of the others were archers. I asked what he wanted the arrows cut to, he said, "Well I don't remember the length of the arrows but my draw length is 31 inches." He's about 5' 8" so I said, "Are you sure about that?" He says, "Yea because I shoot fingers." I said, "Have you ever considered using a release?" His response was, "I don't need one cuz my fingers don't get tired and I don't want to lose the accuracy by switching." Me: "Oh OK."


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## apache pilot

I never thought I would have this kind of response to a thread. Thanks guys


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## twistedmetall

LOL! some funny stuff, I had taken my evo to a proshop and asked if he could put a new string on and a d-loop I had brought my other bow to practice while he put my new strings on after a while he said my bow was finished so I went back to see I laughed out loud He had tied the d-loop 1"1/2 long and tied wrong the timing and ata was way off I asked him if he could take the d-loop off I told him i will put it on later He argued and told me thats how his d-loop is tied on his bow and it shoots better ,I told him with d-loop tied that long he must be shooting a youth bow he got a little upset said he wouldnt ever work on my bows again LOL!


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## Crow Terminator

Bow shop story for ya...maybe I wont get jumped on by the haters.

I went to one of the shops I frequent to try out some stabilizers on my bow. In the shop was this kid that worked there part time after he got out of school in the evenings. He was a mediocre shot with a bow...he and I had shot in the same class as me in 3D shoots and I don't think he had ever beaten me. Well I had moved into a different class and that left him in the other class...and he had won a few shoots that year. So he was kind of on his high horse a bit. This particular day I walked over to their indoor range and started shooting just to see how I liked the balance of the stabilizers I was trying. The kid was already over there with some friends of his and as I began shooting, he started telling them what all I was doing wrong after I had shot. I went and grabbed another stabilizer and as I was doing so, he got his bow and began shooting to show off. I walked back over...screwed in another stabilizer, and fired another arrow. It happened by mistake as I wasn't intentionally trying to do it...the indoor range was just at 15 yards...more for trying out bows than anything. But I robin hooded the previous arrow I had shot. I looked over at him and he looked at me and I just kind of winked at him. One of the people in the group watching us shoot said "I don't think you can group one any better than that". The look on his face was something...wish I had a camera lol


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## andymac40330

This wasnt really a request, but something that happened to me at the bow shop. This happened when I went to test fire bows to purchase my first bow ever. Up until this point, I have shot VERY FEW bows so my knowledge on equipment was limited at best. I'll preface it by saying that I had shot my little brothers bow a time or two and used his equipment (including his higher end tru fire release). 

So at the archery shop, I pick out the bow I want to test fire, I believe it was a PSE Stinger or something of the like. I take it to the counter and get fitted for my draw length, and the owner puts on a drop away and hands me some arrows and a release to take to the practice range. When I get back there, there are probably 2 or 3 other guys that shoot league practicing, but for some reason when I got back there, they stopped to watch me. I load up an arrow, take aim and release the first arrow. The second goes along similar to the first. The third shot, I nocked up and went to draw.... NOBODY explained to me that with this particular release, I had to hold the trigger forward....so about mid draw, the release lets go, the arrow flies off the concrete wall, and I punch myself right in the nose. I turn around and see these guys trying not to laugh but you can see thier bodies convulsing up and down holding it back. At this point i've got tears in my eyes and a nice conical shaped spatter of blood going all the way down to my belt. When I walked off the range, the owner wanted to know what happened so I told him the story, and after a quick chuckle he apologized and said he thought I knew what I was doing. 

Shortly after that, I bought my first bow, complete with the same cheap release that I now knew to hold the trigger forward on. It wasnt really funny to ME at the time, but looking back, I would have liked to have seen it from another persons perspective lol.


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## jodipuma

Ttt keep it going haha


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## RightWing

I saw a lady buy her son (probably 12 years old) a new bow, arrows, sight, rest quiver and camo clothing the night before the archery opener. The guy that owns the shop tells her if the boy is going to shoot a deer the next day he will need some broadheads, after explaining what broadheads are to the lady she said he will not need any because of the field tips that came with the arrows... That she had already spent enough money!!

I feel sorry for the kid and the deer, 1st because he was going into the woods the following day with a bow that wasn't sighted-in and didn't have broadheads if by some miracle he did hit a deer.


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## catfishmafia76

newyorkhillbilly said:


> i used to work for a place called louie's gun shop. But there was no louie . The owners name was bob people would come in all the time and tell me that they had talked to louie and he agreed to sell him this gun for a certain price.


:roflmao:


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## Firelineman

When i went with my friend to buy his first bow, a mission ballistic, he walks in tells the worker, "I want to shoot 80 pounds" the guy looks at him and says ok. Hands him a bow, he can baaarely pull it back, my friend said "what is this like 100 pounds" the guy said no its 65. Haha i laughed for about 10 minutes. And my friend is a biiiig guy, which makes it that much funnier. He looked at me when i was done laughing and said here you pull it back, I pulled it back with ease


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## WI Buck Chaser

andymac40330 said:


> This wasnt really a request, but something that happened to me at the bow shop. This happened when I went to test fire bows to purchase my first bow ever. Up until this point, I have shot VERY FEW bows so my knowledge on equipment was limited at best. I'll preface it by saying that I had shot my little brothers bow a time or two and used his equipment (including his higher end tru fire release).
> 
> So at the archery shop, I pick out the bow I want to test fire, I believe it was a PSE Stinger or something of the like. I take it to the counter and get fitted for my draw length, and the owner puts on a drop away and hands me some arrows and a release to take to the practice range. When I get back there, there are probably 2 or 3 other guys that shoot league practicing, but for some reason when I got back there, they stopped to watch me. I load up an arrow, take aim and release the first arrow. The second goes along similar to the first. The third shot, I nocked up and went to draw.... NOBODY explained to me that with this particular release, I had to hold the trigger forward....so about mid draw, the release lets go, the arrow flies off the concrete wall, and I punch myself right in the nose. I turn around and see these guys trying not to laugh but you can see thier bodies convulsing up and down holding it back. At this point i've got tears in my eyes and a nice conical shaped spatter of blood going all the way down to my belt. When I walked off the range, the owner wanted to know what happened so I told him the story, and after a quick chuckle he apologized and said he thought I knew what I was doing.
> 
> Shortly after that, I bought my first bow, complete with the same cheap release that I now knew to hold the trigger forward on. It wasnt really funny to ME at the time, but looking back, I would have liked to have seen it from another persons perspective lol.


Been there man. I was trying out a back tension release (probably 3 or 4 others shooting) and my thumb slipped off the safety. The arrow went into the wood part below the target and I clobbered myself in the face haha. I look back now and laugh but at the time it was one of the worst feelings in my life.


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## daltongang

Metameateater said:


> I used to hang out at a shop quite a bit when I had a broken jaw and couldn't work so I would spend my days there just listening to the things people would say and my favorite one was a guy who would come in the store look at everything they had and then ask for something he knew they didn't have like an atlatl or something silly like that. He also asked "hey why are them animals in Africa so big? I mean I know deer up north get bigger but that's cuz it's cold up there but it's hot in Africa so they should be small" He also was talking about them new high powered bows and said "c'mon guys how much genetic energy do ya need?"


Was this Si Robertson, Jack?


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## MsNipeR

Thats so called 3006 short!!Dangerous stuff...


Double"O" said:


> I work at Dicks in the lodge and i had a guy try to return a box of "defective" ammo
> 
> I ask the guy what the problem was and he said "the sides keep splitting and they wont eject right" (the ammo in question was remington core lokt .308 win)
> 
> So i ask him to bring me the gun and i'll see what is wrong because i am sure it's not the ammo after i inspected 3 casings with split sides and saw something that really disturbed me
> 
> The guy brings in a Remington 700 30-06 and low and behold there is a 4th .308 rem casing stuck in it...i was like WOW not only once but 4 times this guy tried to blow his face off!


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## andymac40330

Ttt


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## shermetal

i had a guy telling me about his new horton crossbow and how awesome it was.....we got to talking about how he is shooting with it and then he tells me that his crossbow is shooting around 1500fps haha i just went along with it....i still laugh about it


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## thwackaddict

Bowtech n ROSS said:


> Best one I've had working in a shop. Had a women come in with an older martin. She had the bow in one hand moving it up and down like a dumbell. She then tells us this bow says it has a weight of 70lbs but it sure doesn't feel like its that heavy!


This reminds me of a kid one time that wanted to borrow an air bubble to blow up his flat tire. He says how much is in this bubble? I told him should have about 170 lbs in it. As he raised the bubble up and down he said, "I ain't an idiot, no ways there 170 lbs in this now fill it up before I leave cause I aint gonna walk all the way back here when it turns out to be empty".


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## WVohioFAN

henry jay said:


> yep but it still dont fit the description[sorry cant help] i will stop now


Please tell us about the superior equipment that you shoot....


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## MsNipeR

WNC Meat Seeker said:


> Awesome thread. I've been in the hospital with the birth of our second child, and these stories has kept me laughing. Great stories!


Yeah! I think you needed some amusement in those days!)Great thread!!


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## nodog

apache pilot said:


> i had a guy come in the shop and ask to speak with T.M. Hunter one day. my stomach hurt for 2 days i laughed so hard with the guys. it seems as though every day i heard pendulum sights called pendleton and penjalum. what kind of funny things were asked in your bowshops?


 The funniest is "Is there anyone in hear who knows squat?" The answer is always obvious... NO!

People that go in shops expecting to find someone who knows squat are hilarious. Shop = a guy who does what he must to support his hunting habit, knowledge not required. They are also the face of many bow manufactures.


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## lunk2002

I called a Scheel's store here in MN looking for side plates for my Hoyt. I asked for the Archery department. A fellow answered the phone I asked if they had any, he puts me on hold. Comes back a few minutes later and asks again what I'm looking for I tell him side plates for a Hoyt, left hand please. There's a pause then he says "What do they do?".


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## Mumbles24

I was at the range yesterday. Just finished walking the course with my daughters and we were unwinding on the practice range. I was making a few minor pin adjustments for my 7 y/o at 10 and 15. We were doing the same with my 9 year old at 15 and 20. They were doing well, so I figured I'd shoot some too. 

Some guy watched me a bit, I was wondering why. I figured I was either humoring him because I'm funny to watch or I was doing something he really did not like the look of. Shortly, he answered the question by stating, why don't you use a kisser button? You'd be a much better shooter with a better anchor point using a kisser button. The shop up the road sells kisser buttons and you need to go see him. 

I responded with thank you, I'm just getting started again and this bow did not come with one. When I was a kid I shot fingers and my index hit the corner of my mouth. My uncle, who taught me, used a release and a kisser and he swore by it. I have found that if I put this knuckle (pointing the the first knuckle of my index finger where the finger attaches to the hand) into this hole (pointing at my ear hole) that I'm in the same place every time.

Guy watched me shoot one more set of seven arrows, all within about 5" at 40 yards and walked away mumbling....kisser button...yaddah yaddah yaddah...guy would be great if he would only listen to me.

He had on the exact same type of boots as me...maybe I should listen to him. I thought he was helpful, but his reaction was funny.


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## rutnstrut

lunk2002 said:


> I called a Scheel's store here in MN looking for side plates for my Hoyt. I asked for the Archery department. A fellow answered the phone I asked if they had any, he puts me on hold. Comes back a few minutes later and asks again what I'm looking for I tell him side plates for a Hoyt, left hand please. There's a pause then he says "What do they do?".


I'm not one to defend the box stores, BUT if you asked it that way I could see where he might not have grasped what you wanted. The Scheels here is awesome in the archery dept, but they are the exception to the box store "rule".


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## lunk2002

rutnstrut said:


> I'm not one to defend the box stores, BUT if you asked it that way I could see where he might not have grasped what you wanted. The Scheels here is awesome in the archery dept, but they are the exception to the box store "rule".


I did specifically ask for the archery department, whether I got someone who actually worked in there or not I'll never know. I know they aren't all like that. I got a chuckle out if it.


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## BearArcher1980

I was at one of the shops I frequent to practice as usual. Walk in and there is a group of 6 kids all shooting together so I put my stuff down and watch. There is one young man about 11-12 years old shooting an older youth bow that only has one brass screw pin for the sight and one of the little plastic stick on rests with 6 mismatched arrows. As I watch him and the others shoot they keep laughing at him. I hear his arrows hitting the ply wood under the bales and they keep poking fun at him. I get up and stand behind him and watch him shoot. After 2 more shots I stop him and ask if he has ever shot before. He tells me this is his first bow, bought at a yard sale and he has only shot a few times. Mind you all the kids he is shooting with evidently go to school with him and all have nice new bows and equipment and they just keep poking fun at him for hitting the ply wood and not the target.
The other boys go over to the other side of the shop and watch the guys shooting the Darton video hunt and leave just me and him in the range. So I went to work with him, showing him about anchor point and proper form, then go through adjusting his sight. Within 10-15 minutes we have him shooting all his mismatched arrows into the white 5 ring on a single spot at 20 yards. He was so happy and getting excited how well he was doing.
Those other boys come back over and grab their bows and start shooting again. The boy I was working with steps back up to the line with them and starts shooting again and out shoots the majority of them.
They all stopped and looked at him with open mouths saying "How did you do that?" He laughed and pointed back at me and they flocked over to me asking questions lol. 
Needless to say I shot maybe 20 arrows that night and spent the rest of the time working with the kids lol.
Since that night I took a dozen of my old hunting arrows and cut them down and took them to that boy (his name is Darren) and he is doing really good.
The looks on those other boys faces when he started out shooting them was just priceless. I laugh about that every time I go to shoot there lol.
Let's keep this thread going, great stories here!!


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## DoWorkSon

BearArcher1980 said:


> I was at one of the shops I frequent to practice as usual. Walk in and there is a group of 6 kids all shooting together so I put my stuff down and watch. There is one young man about 11-12 years old shooting an older youth bow that only has one brass screw pin for the sight and one of the little plastic stick on rests with 6 mismatched arrows. As I watch him and the others shoot they keep laughing at him. I hear his arrows hitting the ply wood under the bales and they keep poking fun at him. I get up and stand behind him and watch him shoot. After 2 more shots I stop him and ask if he has ever shot before. He tells me this is his first bow, bought at a yard sale and he has only shot a few times. Mind you all the kids he is shooting with evidently go to school with him and all have nice new bows and equipment and they just keep poking fun at him for hitting the ply wood and not the target.
> The other boys go over to the other side of the shop and watch the guys shooting the Darton video hunt and leave just me and him in the range. So I went to work with him, showing him about anchor point and proper form, then go through adjusting his sight. Within 10-15 minutes we have him shooting all his mismatched arrows into the white 5 ring on a single spot at 20 yards. He was so happy and getting excited how well he was doing.
> Those other boys come back over and grab their bows and start shooting again. The boy I was working with steps back up to the line with them and starts shooting again and out shoots the majority of them.
> They all stopped and looked at him with open mouths saying "How did you do that?" He laughed and pointed back at me and they flocked over to me asking questions lol.
> Needless to say I shot maybe 20 arrows that night and spent the rest of the time working with the kids lol.
> Since that night I took a dozen of my old hunting arrows and cut them down and took them to that boy (his name is Darren) and he is doing really good.
> The looks on those other boys faces when he started out shooting them was just priceless. I laugh about that every time I go to shoot there lol.
> Let's keep this thread going, great stories here!!


Bravo!!! Way to help a child learn!


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## MsNipeR

madsammer said:


> My B I L pulled back a short draw 40# bow and stuck his head in between the string and cables. Let the bow down and then started to choke on the pressure from the strings he did not expect. He could not pull the bow from his stuck angle, I was laughing so hard I had to pull the bow to open it up so he could get his head out.


congrats With the BIL!!LOL


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## goathollow

I haven't bothered to read all 11 pages. Some of these are pretty funny. Maybe this has been mentioned already but for those guys commenting on here that are shop owners, instead of laughing at the customer that clearly knows nothing, maybe you should be looking at those people as great opportunities to grow your business and further the sport. Laughing at someone who doesn't know any better wins few friends.

I'm not talking about the braggart you know is just spouting off to hear is own voice; but there are a lot of "funny" stories where it appears the customer really doesn't know any better.


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## MsNipeR

Quote Originally Posted by bryanbeck View Post 

my cousin three years back went into, bps in cincinnati ohio. before we walked in he said i wanna show you how ignorant some of these guys are here.. now most of them were highschool kids working.. so he goes through an checks a few bows, out an asks can we take these three into range salesman says sure.. we get into the range an my cousin as straight faced as can be says i wanna test fire before i shoot any arrows. again the salesman says hey thats fine.. an low an behold he pulls first one back lets go, salesman hands him second bow an he repeats, then he is handed the third bow. as he is drawing it back another guy walks in an stops him from dry firing the third bow.. then he begins to explain to my cousin the danger of doing so.. my cousin as calmly as he cans looks at him an says i know the dangers. i just wanna prove you will let any moron work the archery counter.. an try to hand advice to people when they have no clue what they are talking about.. then proceeds to say this guy here has no business working that counter or setting up any bow for anyone..



PA Dave said:


> In all fairness, to go in and dry fire bows knowing full well that those bows will be sold to someone else down the road...well, the kid behind the counter can at least claim ignorance. Your cousin proved more about himself than he did about that kid behind the counter. I wouldn't be proud of that story.


Couldnt say it better....


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## B&C_less

I went to my son's boy scout jamboree a couple years back, and before the archery competition the 'Line Supervisors' called the kids together to explain the rules.
One of the supervisors explained what to do when they heard the whistle blow once, twice, and so on. He then held up a Genesis bow, and pointing to the flipper rest, told the kids that if their bow had one of these to put the arrow underneath of it (on the shelf). The supervisor stated that he didn't know what it was for, and it was getting in the way of the arrows.


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## kerrye

45 years ago, my wife (to be) was in her second year of college and knowing she would be married to an avid archer and bowhunter, took an archery class. I had to go through two archery magazines, showing her pictures of archers with drawn bows, to prove to her that her "instructor" had mis-instructed her when he taught her (a right hander) to nock the arrow on the right side of the bow instead of the left side.


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## IrregularPulse

C


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## Chad1980

These are great. Lol 

Sent from my HTC6435LVW using Tapatalk 2


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## randydb

I understand enough about bows and shooting to converse easily with other archers and to do a basic set up on my own bow but in no way am I close to professional. I was in a shop looking at some youth bows for my son. The young guy behind the counter was relatively knowledgeable but was saying some things that weren't quite right. I was also talking about adding rest and sight and tuning it myself. The kid was trying to steer me towards a Chaos and that was when I was getting the exaggerations or off stuff and I gently disagreed and discussed the different merits.
Went away and came back the next week. Kid met me with a big "Hello!" and wave. After a couple minutes he goes, "I know who you are. You have your own bow hunting show. I looked you up on youtube." He said some name(I don't watch hunting shows...no tv)I didn't recognize and then pulled out a camo hunting jacket. "I was wondering if you would autograph my jacket." I told him I didn't have a hunting show but he wouldn't believe me and kept asking me if I was sure I wasn't so and so. Finally showed him my drivers license. 

My son and I had a good laugh. It is also funny because I am not the most regular looking fellow. Long hair to the middle of my back and goatee. I have been mistaken for a biker on numerous occasions but never a hunting celebrity.


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## Newhunter1

randydb said:


> My son and I had a good laugh. It is also funny because I am not the most regular looking fellow. Long hair to the middle of my back and goatee. I have been mistaken for a biker on numerous occasions but never a hunting celebrity.


Hey there Uncle Ted


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## GoldtipXT

Just wanted to be #1000 to reply to this post :darkbeer:


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## hunting87

GoldtipXT said:


> Just wanted to be #1000 to reply to this post :darkbeer:


Ya!!


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## GoldtipXT

Missed it lol


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## hunting87

GoldtipXT said:


> Missed it lol


I was just thinkin of that then u posted. Haha


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## Newhunter1

Yea. I got the 1000th post.:thumbup:

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## amcmullen

A few years back I took my old Golden Eagle Evolution into the bow shop and took it to the counter. I told the guy I know it's not new but it's what I have and I just want to make it a little quieter. Another tech overheard me, looked at my bow and replied, "buy a set of ear plugs." I just about died!


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## MiStickSlinger

A few years ago after I turned 20 I worked the gun counter at bass pro shops, funny requests were a daily occurrence. I can name a few like the guy who swore up and down that the .380 acp was more powerful than the .357 mag because it was a larger number. I had a lot of the pants sagging types come in and ask for a "fo fi" with the "lemon squeeze, even had one ask to see a 1911 then promptly handed it to his 4 year old. I always loved the guys who said their gun had actually picked up a deer on impact and threw it about 10 feet.


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## bowman29092

I was at my local shop when I was buying my old Mathews and a guy walked up as the shop owner was adjusting the DL for me and asked him to shoot a bow. The shop owner got me squared away and started helping him (getting a rest put on the bow for the guy) and he stopped the shop owner and said, "No, I don't want a rest. They slow down the arrow." The shop owner then proceeds to explain to him how they work and the guy's response is this, "NO, I've been shooting for 5 years with my wheel-less bow and it don't have no rest on it, so why would I need a rest on this one!?" I about dropped my bow from laughing so hard.


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## bowman29092

I was trying to order some parts for my PSE so I called up PSE directly and they told me I had to order through a dealer of which I could find on their website. I called every one within 100 miles of my location, (No Joke, EVERY SINGLE ONE was either Dick's Sporting Goods or Sports Authority's) Well All but 1 Dicks said they couldn't help me but one said to look on their website. I can order all the parts from there. EVERY Sports Authority said they don't sell them anymore. Thanks PSE.


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## southpaw_kc

baldbear2009 said:


> This is TRUE ---
> Couple years back there was a few guys talking about bow fishing---another guy walks in & overhearing thier topic walks up and asks "how do you get a worm to stay on the arrow " he WAS serious--glad I was behind the counter !


Best thread I have seen on this site, getting to it late and I have been giggling like a little kid...

Cheers
South


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## wy_will

goathollow said:


> I haven't bothered to read all 11 pages. Some of these are pretty funny. Maybe this has been mentioned already but for those guys commenting on here that are shop owners, instead of laughing at the customer that clearly knows nothing, maybe you should be looking at those people as great opportunities to grow your business and further the sport. Laughing at someone who doesn't know any better wins few friends.
> 
> I'm not talking about the braggart you know is just spouting off to hear is own voice; but there are a lot of "funny" stories where it appears the customer really doesn't know any better.


I agree completely!!! I just bought my very first bow the other day and have never shot archery. I have a million questions, but now I'm worried about asking them. Is there an "Archery For Dummies" section on AT? That way I won't get made fun of for trying to learn...


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## cocowheats

g_c_c_23 said:


> Not from an archery shop but its still funny.
> 
> I was in paying for gas a couple years back at a normal C store/gas station. The woman behind the counter was the owner. A guy walks up interrupting y conversation with her a woman I have know for several years. He says he need 4 new spark plugs put in and 3 new tires... The woman looks at him and says we are not a service station. He replies with I just need to make an appointment for 3 new tires and 4 spark plugs. Again with a blank look on his face he hears that it's not a service station. She ten says they don't do those kinds of things here. Then he gets angry and demands to speak with the manager. Who was also there so she calls the manager in and this kid says he would like to make a complaint to the owner. The manager turns to the owner and says apparently this man has a problem with you.


wat. shutup


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## stork64

wy_will said:


> I agree completely!!! I just bought my very first bow the other day and have never shot archery. I have a million questions, but now I'm worried about asking them. Is there an "Archery For Dummies" section on AT? That way I won't get made fun of for trying to learn...


Most of the humor comes from people that think they know a lot more than they do. People that are just looking to learn like yourself (and me too a lot of the time) will find lots of help and support here on AT. We all had to start somewhere, knowing nothing about the sport at some point.


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## skynight

wy_will said:


> I agree completely!!! I just bought my very first bow the other day and have never shot archery. I have a million questions, but now I'm worried about asking them. Is there an "Archery For Dummies" section on AT? That way I won't get made fun of for trying to learn...



Ask away. You will soon learn who to listen too. Lot of good guys with a ton of knowledge here.


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## iowaelkbum

@redneckhunter "Guess he hasnt heard of the Z7"

I had a Z7 and if I still had it you could have the piece of junk for free!!


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## ol' sheepherder

This thread is awesome! I'm a noob to the archery world, just got my first bow this year. I wondered if at any point I really let my ignorance show and the dudes working at the bow shops thought I was a total idiot but after reading this thread I'm sure they have seen much worse than me!


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## deerhuntinsunof

This thread Is just awesome

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## TheScOuT

I walked into the local shop a few weeks back...they had a crossbow just trashed. Strings shredded, limbs split...the poor thing looked terrible! I asked what happened and a guy bought those biodegradable bolts that you shoot to un cock it. Apparently he thought you hold the front of the crossbow up tight to a tree like you were shooting with the bolt touching the tree and pull the trigger.

The tech at the shop said he read it on the internet that was how to use those bolts.


----------



## Notvaporlocked

I was at a chain sporting goods store with a pretty decent selection of bows and accessories and two "bow techs" behind the counter. I was completely green at the time and went in to ask questions and see what they had and start to learn. After just a couple questions about the new bows they had hanging up the two guys started arguing about what was the noisiest bows they had shot. I stood there for ten minutes listening to these guys go back and forth and completely ignoring me. I finally just walked away, for all I know they are still going at it.


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## traditional1970

I stopped by Dicks Sporting Goods the other day and was looking in the archery department. i asked if they had any Diamond brand Fear No Evil bows to look at. Salesman said no but we have a bunch in the back. He proceeded to show me and I had to ask why all the bows had string coming off. The salesman replied we just need to restring them. We let people test fire them when they want. I asked if they had arrows on the string cause these were all dry fired. The salesman said bows now adays dont need arrows. Thats why they call it dry firing he says, its perfectly safe.

OH MY GOD,lol


----------



## deerhuntinsunof

traditional1970 said:


> I stopped by Dicks Sporting Goods the other day and was looking in the archery department. i asked if they had any Diamond brand Fear No Evil bows to look at. Salesman said no but we have a bunch in the back. He proceeded to show me and I had to ask why all the bows had string coming off. The salesman replied we just need to restring them. We let people test fire them when they want. I asked if they had arrows on the string cause these were all dry fired. The salesman said bows now adays dont need arrows. Thats why they call it dry firing he says, its perfectly safe.
> 
> OH MY GOD,lol


Just wow

Sent from my SPH-L710 using Tapatalk 2


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## hoyt561

wy_will said:


> I agree completely!!! I just bought my very first bow the other day and have never shot archery. I have a million questions, but now I'm worried about asking them. Is there an "Archery For Dummies" section on AT? That way I won't get made fun of for trying to learn...


Dont be afraid to ask any questions here. 95% of us understand that there is a starting point to everything. Look at it this way, archery/hunting is a lifetime apprecticeship and I'm only 21 years through it lol. If you would like shoot me a PM when you have a question and I can try and help you out. Dont let anyone on this sight discourage you in asking questions. Good luck hope to hear from you.


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## MDJB12

Not archery related. But I work at Gander Mountain. Last night we had three uhm, gentlemen come in. As many of you know, at GM all firearms are required to be cased, and signed into a log book at the entrance of the store. The gentleman went from the entrance back to our ammo shelves. They proceeded to spread out and open 7-8 boxes of ammunition (some even being shotgun shells and rifle rounds) on a display table. Then one of the gentleman removes a handgun from the pocket of his VERY sagged jeans. They proceeded to try to load the gun via trial-and-error. They found a caliber that fit into the revolver (.380 auto) and stood around aiming the now loaded gun and admiring it. Needless to say, we did not let this continue very long. The men informed us that they had just purchased the handgun from a friend of a friend and had no clue what kind of ammunition it took, or anything at all for that matter. We let the police take it from there.

P.S. had we seen them sooner we would've stopped them. The only reason I know their exact timeline was because we reviewed the security camera footage after.

People literally are idiots. We need a new plague.


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## PutEmDown.

This guy walked into a local bow shop I was shooting in an I heard a guy come in buy I didn't catch all of the convo but heard this "I was drilling out my peep and I caught the bow string with the drill" the tech just smirked an said "I'll order you a new string" :set1_rolf2::set1_rolf2:


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## BowTechForever

Ttt keep it going


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## bub77

this old man would shoot every wednesday at the range with this old bear/ pse/whatever it was. very nice guy and since i was shooting league there every week we started talking and after seeing all of our new equipment decieded to pull the trigger on a brand new switchback xt. he began shooting it and loved it. a couple months later during the first week of deer season he comes in to the shop with the bow lays it on the counted and says " i havent missed a deer in 10 years and the first *** **** deer that i shoot at with this bow i miss. you can have this damn thing back. the worker starts to tell him that he cant give him his money back on the bow and the mans says thats fine just keep it and walked out. i was laughing so hard. they hung the bow up and called it the missing bow for years.


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## BowTechForever

I was picking up my Spyder the other day and a guy with long black hair with blond streaks in it. He has probably a circa 1970 44 pound recurve. He says to the tech " Can you change the limbs on this" The tech says no its a one piece bow. The guy says " Well man I like cant draw it its so heavy." The tech says what do you think the draw weight is. " The guy says 100 maybe 110 pounds." the tech looks at me ( I have known him since I was a little kid) And starts smiling. We both laughed a little. They guy says look at how heavy. He proceeded to try to draw the bow for about 5 minutes. its all I have in me not to burst out laughing. The tech gives him a few scrappers and takes him to the shooting lane. I have my bow and he was going to help me paper tune. This guy nocks the arrow and puuls and pulls and cant do it. He says " See man I told you it was like 100 pounds!!!" I couldn't hold it and started dying laughing. The guy looks at me and seems a little mad. He says " here you little jerk your smaller than me!" So I nocked up an arrow and drew the bow back and smashed the 3 inch bull at 15 yards. I shoot a 40 pound samick with good groups up to 15-20 yards. The guy looks at me and says" Holy ***** what do they feed you miracle grow" The tech is just laughing his head off. The guy is in disbelief as I stack a 5 arrow group in a 4 inch group at 15 yards. He was in sheer disbelief. I laughed until I couldn't breathe!


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## BowTechForever

been there done that more tha once


Jeffress77 said:


> When we were in high school, before our drivers' licenses, our moms/dads would have to drive us to our hunting spots..and I remember one day my buddy and I suited up and got in his mom's car and we drove all the way to the driveway where we were going get out and go to our stands which were pretty close to the next county and he realizes he didn't bring his bow......


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## BowTechForever

I was shooting at a youth pheasant hunt. My turn to hunt was at 2 30. Local shop tech had me help set up some glendel bucks and a bunch of novelty targets. I was shooting and talking with the tech when this fat lady and her son come over. This kid has bow with METAL cables on it. She stops smoking long enough to see if we think he could hunt with it. Her boss gave it to him. This kid can hardly pull the bow back. He says " I think its like 50 pounds or something. " (In pa the minimum is 35) I take the bow from the kid and draw it back. I laughed and said that it was lucky to make 20 pounds. The tech scaled it and sure enogh it was 19 pounds. I told the lady he cant hunt. She tells me I don't know what im talking about. The tech agrees with me. She gets pissed and leaves. The kid starts shooting a target and misses a lot. I stood with him and adjusted his sight for 20 minutes. I got him shooting 3 inch groups at 15 yards. He was happy enough to shoot and not hunt. the kids mother comes back and tells me to get away from her kid I was " Some stupid *******' The kid says thank you to me and follows hippo woman back up to the pavilion.


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## HotnTot

^^thats a good one

I saw an ol boy at the range the other day shooting his Bow at 40yds. I was up at the 80 yard lane sighting in. He hit about a foot high the first shot so he cranks his single pin wayyyy down. He proceeds to bounce three arrows off the metal of the top of the target. Gets frustrated and leaves... I didn't have the nerve to tell him to adjust up to hit lower.


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## Ron213

This is a great thread!!!!!!!!!!!!


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## BCHunter78

OK, I've got no bowshop ones but here is a boat launch folly....

Last sumer a buddy of mine and I went fly fishing with our float tubes.....

We were getting geared up in out float tubes at the public launch. We notice this younger kid out in the water near the launch area in his boat. He starts it revs it around for a little and then shuts it down. We are thinking "oh great, some guy that has no idea what he's doing here". Well, his mom and dad are on land, and dad backs the SUV and boat trailer into the water to load. Ok, so I guess the kid was just motoring around until dad could get the trailer in place....fine. 

The kid comes into land and switches places with dad so that dad can trailer it. Guess the kid hasn't learned that part yet. We notice that the trailer is in deep, like really deep. Dad revs it up and trailers it, without a problem...ok so far so good. We are still gearing up.

As I am fiddling with my gear, I hear something from the dad about a lighter and his kid says something back. I look up in time to see the dad (fully clothed shirt, jeans, shoes, wallet etc) bending over the bow of the boat and then proceed to fall in and execute the most perfect entry and then exit out of the water I have ever seen in my life. I couldn't help but start laughing ( I was at least turning my head and "trying a more subtle laugh". My buddy on the other hand, he and I looked at each other, started laughing more, and he turns to the guy who really hasn't looked us in the eye, nor made a big fuss about falling in (embarassment will do that I guess). I couldn't think of anything non-insulting to say, so I just kept laughing, my buddy blurts out, "how's the water!?.

There was really no response except for a small laugh and a wee bit of an acknowledgement that he actually fell in. This guy was soaked. A small part of me felt sorry for him


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## MDJB12

Not an archery shop story but a funny one nonetheless. There's a public shotgun range that my buddies and I frequent to just hand throw clays to one another on a nice day. It's unsupervised, essentially just a long concrete pad with a large field downrange. Last time I was there a fella showed up with his girlfriend. He had just bought his first shotgun and was taking his girl shooting for the first time too. His girlfriend was having a hell of a time trying to throw clays with a hand thrower, so I offered my assistance. I showed the gal how to throw them, and offered to throw a few for the guy. After several misses I got around to checking out the guys shotgun. 

It was a mossberg 500 twelve gauge... with a cantilever rifled slug barrel. Not only was he shooting a barrel that had no choke whatsoever and was rifled, he had no sights! No bead or anything. Just the cantilever rail!

I did my best to explain the problem, but I don't think he got it.lol

And he wasn't the first guy I've seen there trying to shoot clays through a slug barrel. I even watched one guy shooting a Remington 870 with a thumbhole stock and a 3-9x scope (Remington's designated slug hunting model) try to hit clays out of the air. Haha. People.


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## NYBowhunter71

Love the thread, but is it bad that I read these and hope I am not the subject of one of the posts?

Was at a 3D shoot one time and a father comes to check in and has his 2 young kids (who are also shooting) with him. He leaves to go shoot. ABout 30-45 minutes go by and he comes back in, and his Hoyt compound is in pieces. When asked what happened he says that he was carrying his kids arrows along with his in the quiver and accidentally grabbed one of his son's arrows instead of his. The arrow disintegrated and his bow went BOOM! Needless to say he was VERY lucky he wasn't injured.


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## catfishmafia76

MDJB12 said:


> Not an archery shop story but a funny one nonetheless. There's a public shotgun range that my buddies and I frequent to just hand throw clays to one another on a nice day. It's unsupervised, essentially just a long concrete pad with a large field downrange. Last time I was there a fella showed up with his girlfriend. He had just bought his first shotgun and was taking his girl shooting for the first time too. His girlfriend was having a hell of a time trying to throw clays with a hand thrower, so I offered my assistance. I showed the gal how to throw them, and offered to throw a few for the guy. After several misses I got around to checking out the guys shotgun.
> 
> It was a mossberg 500 twelve gauge... with a cantilever rifled slug barrel. Not only was he shooting a barrel that had no choke whatsoever and was rifled, he had no sights! No bead or anything. Just the cantilever rail!
> 
> I did my best to explain the problem, but I don't think he got it.lol
> 
> And he wasn't the first guy I've seen there trying to shoot clays through a slug barrel. I even watched one guy shooting a Remington 870 with a thumbhole stock and a 3-9x scope (Remington's designated slug hunting model) try to hit clays out of the air. Haha. People.


Look up slug barrel accuracy with buck shot on google or youtube. The twist of the barrel accually spins the shot and it can miss a huge target at very close range. It's amazing the stuff you see at public shooting ranges.


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## Shane A

A guy comes in asking what over-draw would be best to shoot crossbow bolts from his compound bow! 

On another note this is one funny thing I said under a moment of opening season stress; I had a line of people that waited to the day before season opened to get their bow worked on and all of them thought their reason was better than the persons in front of them. It was starting to wear thin on me while I was tying a NOCK onto a recurve string for a nice beautiful lady standing before me when someone started hollering "hurry up my lunch is almost over!" I replied " When I get done NOCKING this young lady up I will get to you!" Only after it had come out of my mouth did I realize what I had said! I blushed out and apologized totally embarrassed but she thought it was cute.


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## Bee Man

I was at MC Sports last august taking advantage of the fact they mark all their arrows they have left over from the previous fall down to a few bucks in the summer and the guy behind the counter was trying to convice me to buy some limbsaver limb dampeners. I kindly told him i just wanted some arrows. He proceeded to inform me how great they are. He said last year he had shot at a deer 20 yards away, and missed and the bow was so quiet because of them the deer didnt even noticed. He said he shot and missed twice more and the deer didnt notice and then he finally hit it.


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## Bee Man

Baldona523 said:


> Still one of the funniest outdoor things for me to watch is some newbie trying to use a spincaster reel side up. I crack up everytime, and it is hard to correct someone because they get so embarrassed everytime.
> 
> This shooting argument is dumb. If a gun is sighted in it is sighted in. Just because someone does not shoot properly, does not mean the gun is not sighted in. This scope argument is incredible, you can not look through a scope and it be off if it is in a vice. Trigger pull, aiming at a different part of the target, flinching, and not shooting properly usually lead to shots being off. I have killed multiple animals left handed with my left eye when I normally shoot right handed and with my right eye. I have shot this way at the range to practice, and if I do everything well the shots are very close. Only reason they are off is my form sucks left handed.


Im too tired to tell if your being serious about saying shooting doesnt vary but it does. One eye sees things true and one sees things off. Form does affect point of impact.


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## MDJB12

catfishmafia76 said:


> Look up slug barrel accuracy with buck shot on google or youtube. The twist of the barrel accually spins the shot and it can miss a huge target at very close range. It's amazing the stuff you see at public shooting ranges.


I have seen the video of which you speak. I tried explaining it to the fella and he just didn't understand. Hahahah


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## cokays

You and your cousin are one in the same. Neither with a brain.


MsNipeR said:


> Quote Originally Posted by bryanbeck View Post
> 
> my cousin three years back went into, bps in cincinnati ohio. before we walked in he said i wanna show you how ignorant some of these guys are here.. now most of them were highschool kids working.. so he goes through an checks a few bows, out an asks can we take these three into range salesman says sure.. we get into the range an my cousin as straight faced as can be says i wanna test fire before i shoot any arrows. again the salesman says hey thats fine.. an low an behold he pulls first one back lets go, salesman hands him second bow an he repeats, then he is handed the third bow. as he is drawing it back another guy walks in an stops him from dry firing the third bow.. then he begins to explain to my cousin the danger of doing so.. my cousin as calmly as he cans looks at him an says i know the dangers. i just wanna prove you will let any moron work the archery counter.. an try to hand advice to people when they have no clue what they are talking about.. then proceeds to say this guy here has no business working that counter or setting up any bow for anyone..
> 
> 
> Couldnt say it better....


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## Billy H

Baldona523 said:


> Still one of the funniest outdoor things for me to watch is some newbie trying to use a spincaster reel side up. I crack up everytime, and it is hard to correct someone because they get so embarrassed everytime.
> .


I find it Hilarius when someone does not know the difference between a spincasting reel and a spinning reel and proceeds to make a fool of themselves on the web.


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## wpod

fishfurlife said:


> Dang, I read 2 pages of this thread and am less than impressed with the way that some people are treated (whether it is to their face or behind their back). We were all a beginner at one point or another and not all of us had the luxury of having an experienced archer to learn from. To see the words moron and idiot thrown around in this thread is pretty sad.


I am a beginner and I know I will say things out of ignorance. I also know it will ne funny (or pathetic). Feel free to laugh at me (like I could stop you). Then please correct me so I can laugh at the next guy. And, if you make fun of me I will do the same to you, with no malice intended.

I headed them off at the pass at the pro shop. I walked in and said "I'd like to buy a bow and I have no idea what I'm doing, but I've been reading posts on Archery Talk". They laughed at me 

Sent from my VS950 4G using Tapatalk 2


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## vonfoust

wpod said:


> I am a beginner and I know I will say things out of ignorance. I also know it will ne funny (or pathetic). Feel free to laugh at me (like I could stop you). Then please correct me so I can laugh at the next guy. And, if you make fun of me I will do the same to you, with no malice intended.
> 
> I headed them off at the pass at the pro shop. I walked in and said "I'd like to buy a bow and I have no idea what I'm doing, but I've been reading posts on Archery Talk". They laughed at me
> 
> Sent from my VS950 4G using Tapatalk 2


Nicely played! If you take a look back through it's not the newbies that get made fun of. It's the people that act like they know things. No matter where you are at if you tell them you are a newbie and looking to learn, you will not make this thread. If you go in and tell the guy behind the counter his business, you will probably make this thread.


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## kdog23

cokays said:


> You and your cousin are one in the same. Neither with a brain.


You and your cousin are one in the same. Neither with a brain. 




Originally Posted by MsNipeR

Quote Originally Posted by bryanbeck View Post 

my cousin three years back went into, bps in cincinnati ohio. before we walked in he said i wanna show you how ignorant some of these guys are here.. now most of them were highschool kids working.. so he goes through an checks a few bows, out an asks can we take these three into range salesman says sure.. we get into the range an my cousin as straight faced as can be says i wanna test fire before i shoot any arrows. again the salesman says hey thats fine.. an low an behold he pulls first one back lets go, salesman hands him second bow an he repeats, then he is handed the third bow. as he is drawing it back another guy walks in an stops him from dry firing the third bow.. then he begins to explain to my cousin the danger of doing so.. my cousin as calmly as he cans looks at him an says i know the dangers. i just wanna prove you will let any moron work the archery counter.. an try to hand advice to people when they have no clue what they are talking about.. then proceeds to say this guy here has no business working that counter or setting up any bow for anyone..


Couldnt say it better....

I agree, this is pure and intentional damage of property, you should have been charged for such intentinal acts.


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## Florida lime

Billy H said:


> I find it Hilarius when someone does not know the difference between a spincasting reel and a spinning reel and proceeds to make a fool of themselves on the web.


Same thing I thought when I read it......


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## Bee Man

I'm amazed still at how many people look down the barrels of firearms.[/QUOTE said:


> Do you know of a better way to check the riflings?


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## Bee Man

bj99robinson said:


> After a sucessfull morning hunt we loaded up in the truck and head to town to get some lunch. We pull into the front of burger king and park the truck. As we're walking in with all our camo on this lady sitting at the big window just freezes up in mid bite of her sandwich. She stares at the truck and drops her sandwich right from her mouth. How we parked she was looking right at a freshly gutted deer on the cargo cart. She was totally discusted and aparrently lost her appetite. When we walked in she left. It was the funniest thing my dad,me & my brother in law crack up about it to this day.


I dont think its funny. Have you ever known anyone who fainted at the sight of blood? Some people will see a paper cut and faint. You were actually breaking hunter decency laws. You could have been fined and had your hunting privileages provoked for it.


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## NYBowhunter71

Ok, It has taaken me 3 day, but I have read all 35 pages. Love these posts!! Kepp 'em coming


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## wpod

All my funny stories are from previously working as a Security Supervisor at a County hospital. A different forum entirely.

Sent from my VS950 4G using Tapatalk 2


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## apache pilot

How about bee man bee gone! As in bBg


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## catfishmafia76

wpod said:


> All my funny stories are from previously working as a Security Supervisor at a County hospital. A different forum entirely.
> 
> Sent from my VS950 4G using Tapatalk 2


Oh man, I bet! My aunt was an ER nurse for many years and she had a TON of stories. Lots of them about "items" being placed places they shouldn't and getting stuck!:mg::no:


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## kerrye

Bee Man said:


> I dont think its funny. Have you ever known anyone who fainted at the sight of blood? Some people will see a paper cut and faint. You were actually breaking hunter decency laws. You could have been fined and had your hunting privileages provoked for it.


Hunter decency laws. Hmmm. That's a new one on me. And I have heard of people having their hunting PRIVILEGES REVOKED.


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## wpod

More stories. I'm learning a lot here

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## BrodyGJ

how do you close these rage broadheads and will you put the replacement o rings on them and screw them in for me......Thats a bowtech shooter haha


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## snake1127

I was told at a local DiCCkys, that I didn't need to worry about "ringing" the sight scope with the peep, and that he used the biggest scope ring, and used the smallest peep possible. He also told me his goal was to just remove the peep all together, and shoot dimes at 40yds....LMAOROFL WOW, jjust WOW.


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## wpod

Bump

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## catfishmafia76

snake1127 said:


> I was told at a local DiCCkys, that I didn't need to worry about "ringing" the sight scope with the peep, and that he used the biggest scope ring, and used the smallest peep possible. He also told me his goal was to just remove the peep all together, and shoot dimes at 40yds....LMAOROFL WOW, jjust WOW.


When your really good they call you, Crackerjack! lol. I know it takes all kinds but do they hae to go around giving advice?????


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## Q2DEATH

snake1127 said:


> I was told at a local DiCCkys, that I didn't need to worry about "ringing" the sight scope with the peep, and that he used the biggest scope ring, and used the smallest peep possible. He also told me his goal was to just remove the peep all together, and shoot dimes at 40yds....LMAOROFL WOW, jjust WOW.



This is true. In the old days of peep use guys would shoot a small peep and center the pin in the peep, not the whole pin guard.


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## parkerbows

I have one. Started out funny but ended kind of bad.
Myself and two friends went to a gun range (if you can call it that, just an unmanned place to shoot in AZ.
We were shooting multiple firearms just messing around when this guy pulls up in his pu truck. Gets out and has his two 357 mags on both hips. We were young 19 year old Marines and he was in his 40s probably. 

He starts quick drawing both guns at the same time and shooting his targets. Looking At us after each shot thing he is cool.
We start laughing.
Well he does it again and as he holsters one of his 357's it goes off. In the side of his knee and out his ankle. Everything else gone. You could just see bone on that whole side of his leg..


----------



## arc2x4

Here is what I think is funny: Owning Mathews and Bowtech bows, I find it nearly impossible to find an authorized dealer in my area, SE pa and Delaware that I could trust to do a competent job of replacing a string and cable. From what I see most customers of these shops buy two or three new bows a year with all the accessories ($1200 to $2000) and never shoot them enough to need any real service or a string replacement.

I have to go to a mom and pop that is not even a dealer to get a string replaced and a peep installed by somone who knows what they are doing, or I have to travel to Lancaster Archery Supply and spend a day there. I shoot a target bow that is a 3+ years old and do not buy a new $2000 bow with accessories every year, so the local dealers have no time for me.

When I asked a local large Mathews dealer about a new string for a Drenalin LD and for an Apex 8 I was told, " my "Competent" bow tech is only there from xx to xx on Saturday and he Does "Hunting bows" but he might be able to put a string on your bow for $100 if he has time (new bows come first)."

Very confidence inspiring.


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## [email protected]

Find a used press and do it yourself. That's what I did. Now everyone comes to me. Core strings on here makes a awesome strings for just about anything. It's a lot easier than u think. 

Sent from Samsung Galaxy S3


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## Q2DEATH

[email protected] said:


> Find a used press and do it yourself. That's what I did. Now everyone comes to me. Core strings on here makes a awesome strings for just about anything. It's a lot easier than u think.
> 
> Sent from Samsung Galaxy S3


Yep. Couldn't agree more.

Just my opinion but if you're a serious and year around shooter and have been into it for a couple years ...there's no excuse for not doing it yourself. You've got the time to do it right, get it perfect and the shops won't be so backlogged with work that the newer people will get the attention they need.


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## ocxgeno

Went to scheels when the local one just opened up. Was looking for some realtree shirts and the guy leads me to mossy oak. I told him u was looking for realtree, not mossy oak. He then says "they're the same thing". He's now a manager.


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## burritosandbeer

took me a week to get through all of this, great stories.
I had one at my local dicks sporting goods. bought a dozen gamegetter 340s, had em cut, and had the guy telling me "yeah these are this new carbon aluminum hybrid arrow, great price and they are super tough" 
I tried to tell him xx75 meant it was a 7075 aluminum alloy, no carbon involved, and they are black cause they are annodized that color.

He refused to hear me out. even went to say "Hey, I'm the bow tech, I know what I'm talking about"

-----
Another time at the local Cabelas I was browsing the ammunition aisle, and overheard an employee telling a guy "Yeah you can run 357 magnum rounds in your 357 SIG... they are both 357..."

I walked up, said "Let me show you something".
I opened the boxes held a 357 magnum round next to the 357 SIG round, and said "No, you cannot. 357 SIG is a necked down 40SW round designed to deliver similar performance to certain 357 magnum loads. You wouldn't be able to fit a 357 magnum round in your magazine, and even if you could get it in the chamber by some crazy feat, its probably going to rupture the brass, and possibly destroy the gun and your hand. Now for everyone's sake, ask to see this guys manager and get him transferred somewhere that hes less likely to get someone hurt or killed"


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## stonefly71

Its called a sling bow. Dave Canterbury best known from the Discovery Show Dual Survival suposidly invented it with those improvements and decided not to pattent it, but share the idea for kids to make their own. I think it is a great idea.

He did not invent it Crossman or Marksman had them out in the 80's with longer arms on the sling shot.And I brought it up to Dave when he first showed the video.


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## Azaral

Need more stories.


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## lakertown24

this is very entertaining.. great stuff


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## nomansland

stonefly71 said:


> Its called a sling bow. Dave Canterbury best known from the Discovery Show Dual Survival suposidly invented it with those improvements and decided not to pattent it, but share the idea for kids to make their own. I think it is a great idea.
> 
> He did not invent it Crossman or Marksman had them out in the 80's with longer arms on the sling shot.And I brought it up to Dave when he first showed the video.


I read that Dave Canterbury got booted off that show for lying about what he really did in the military.


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## Bottmhtr

These were great. Some kinda sad though at how unsafe some people were. I have 2 that I can think of. 
first one was on myself, I was practicing in my basement, 23 yard shot, and I had an old v prong style rest on my bow. Sometimes when I wouldget tired I would torgue the bow and the arrow would come off the rest when I would draw it back. I would kinda shake the arrow and get it back on the rest. Needless to say one time I did this and I accidently hit the release before I got the arrow on the rest. I guess shooting it at a crazy angle caused the thing to blow up.. Thank God I didn't get hurt.. Happened about 2 weeks before the opening of bow season. I called a friend and he had me take it to Dorrah archery in Hayti Missouri, he got me fixed up and going before season started. I sure felt stupid after I did that.


Second one is a fishing mishap.. I and a buddy were fishing a bass tournament on Lake Norfork in Arkansas. Lot of guys out prefishing on Friday. It was in early april or late March and it had got down to 28-30 degrees during the night, the boat ramp is fairly long and steep and the concrete is ribbed for traction so u bounce alittle when you load and unload. We are in line to launch and we r watching this guy with a nice new 20ft basscat and 200 horse motor, back down the ramp.. About half way down as in slow motion his boat starts to slide off the trailer, wham that sucker hits the ground about 30-40 feet from the water.. I didn't know whether to laugh or cry. All those scratches and dings in that pretty fiberglass. 4-5 guys helped him push it on down into the water. His skids had frozen overnight and he had unhooked it completely from the trailer, water in the skids had frozen overnight, and when he started down the ramp she broke free. Since then I haven't unhooked any of my b oats completely til I get close to the water


----------



## msgtdan

Not Archery but hunting

Back in the seventies when I was a teen, my dad and I did a lot of quail hunting but hadn't ever gone dove hunting. A coworker of my dad's said his parents had a field nearby that was full of dove and to come over and we'd go hunting. So we go over and load up, walk out into the field with him and pretty soon he up and blasts a meadow lark. He walks over and puts it in game bag and says it's a might fine dove. Being a respectful youngster I kept my mouth shut but my dad tried to explain to him it wasn't a dove. Even took a long range shot at a dove that flew overhead to try to show him a real dove. Could not convince him, so we continued on "dove" hunting, gave him our take as he thought they were real good eating. We had a real nice day of hunting and still chuckle about our dove hunting experience.


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## ArcherXXX300

I finally did it, I read 1070 posts in this thread. I see some funny things quite often. 

A few days ago a guy came in with a bow that was given to him that was too long on the draw length. So the tech asked the guy to see it and handed him a safety draw. He put the safety draw on his right hand and got out this bow that was left handed and proceeded to draw this bow right handed past his ear. Then it was brought to his attention that it was a left handed bow. He said "I thought you could shoot it either way." But he really didn't know any better.

Saw a guy standing on a chair shooting his bow today. I guess he thought that was sufficient for "elevated shooting" practice at deer.

Often have older gentlemen come in asking, "Do you have any bow strings for real bows?" They always mean longbow or recurve.


----------



## Tugman

bowaholic77 said:


> A couple years ago I had my cousins son (9 years old) get into shooting. After shooting pretty well (all things considering) he called me to tell me he was fully sponsered by Hoyt, said he had a new bow and everything. I called BS so he drove down to prove it to me. To his credit, he did have a new shiny Hoyt (purchased or not I will never know). I pulled my bow out and we started shooting together. While watching him shoot I noticed that the DL modules were adjusted incorrect. One was maxed out and the other adjusted to the minimum. He said "The Pro Shop set it up that way, said it shot better that way". I properly adjusted it for him and we shot the rest of the evening. He went back to the same shop the following day and.......you guessed it, they adjusted it back incorrectly and told him not to believe anything I said.
> 
> Now he wont believe anything I say. I guess because I dont work at a shop!


Hoyt bows are not two cam bows. The ones that have anything at all have only one draw length module.


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## ArcherXXX300

Saw a guy sighting in an older crossbow today (wicked ridge I think) solid stock and very plastic looking. Massive epic dryfire still staring through the scope looking to see where he hit. I said, "wow that was really loud!" He looked around and then realized he had no bolt in the bow because it was sitting next to him. Bow seemed okay as he continued to shoot it.


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## Bkoko88

I stopped at the shop this spring to BS after turkey hunting and two guys walked dressed in camo so I ask "did y'all do any good this morning"? One of them said "well we had three bigns come out but they must have winded us"!


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## BirdDawg350

I was at Scheels in DM a couple of months back shooting several different bows to see what other companies had to offer, a kid my age was helping me (19) and he preceded to tell me how he shoots a 55lb Elite Hunter at 27.5 draw and shot a 145" inch deer from 110 yards away with it, showing me pictures with the deer in the back of his truck and his muzzle loader was out of the case right next to the deer.


----------



## River rattler

Not really a funny request but something that happened: 
I good friend of mine who own a traditional archery shop had a guy order a right handed bow. The bow itself was very intricate and expensive($1200). We had about 60 hours labor in this bow and finally finished it and sent it out. 

A week or so goes by and the guy that purchased the bow called and said it was wrong. He stated he wanted a right handed bow. We explained to him that that's what we built him, he then stated that he held the bow in his right hand when he shot. 

Some folks don't know there left from there right. It wasn't funny the. But lookin back now I get a good laugh.


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## arduckaholic

I had a guy ask me if I sold quivers yes we do, "do you have one that holds 150-175 arrows?" I told him that's called a 5gallon bucket lol


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## chrisj0616

Tag

Sent from my Milestone X2 using Tapatalk 2


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## jlh42581

Maybe I need to stop calling a spade a spade so I can get some laughs. Its had though to not call it as you see it.


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## arduckaholic

I had a guy go on and on how the special forces use Barnett crossbows because they are so quiet. A suppressed .300 black out is a heck of alot quiter than any Barnett I've ever shot! And I deal with the my draw is 34" all the time when they are about 5'4. I had a guy telling me his .257 wthby shoots 9,000fps. I wish I could remember them all....


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## arduckaholic

There was the difficult to deal with guy in his mid 20s real mouthy high strung poster child for add. Came in to sight in his buddies xbow, I was up front and hear the WWWWHHHHAAAACCCCKKKKKK!!!!! Turns out he was high as a kite and dry fired it from about 5ft lol


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## Bow Me

arduckaholic said:


> There was the difficult to deal with guy in his mid 20s real mouthy high strung poster child for add. Came in to sight in his buddies xbow, I was up front and hear the WWWWHHHHAAAACCCCKKKKKK!!!!! Turns out he was high as a kite and dry fired it from about 5ft lol


What does that even mean, "dry fired it from about 5ft."?


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## arduckaholic

He was sighting his xbow at 5ft from the target practically point blank then proceeds to cock it and pull the trigger without a bolt in it.


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## Jrmcclure

Was in the bow shop recently, when a guy came in and bought a brand new crossbow. The range clearly states no crossbows, but the guy asked if he could shoot. The guy behind the counter agreed to let him shoot a time or two and the man headed to the range. The owner looked at me and said I don't think it would hurt anything. We heard what sounded like a gunshot shot and the guy came out asking for a first aid kit. He had stuck his thumb straight up on the forearm and the crossbow took the end of it off. Said he was holding it the same way he holds his shotgun. Owner looked at me and said there's a reason for the sign


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## playswithstix

Bee Man said:


> I dont think its funny. Have you ever known anyone who fainted at the sight of blood? Some people will see a paper cut and faint. You were actually breaking hunter decency laws. You could have been fined and had your hunting privileages provoked for it.


What does it mean to have one's hunting privileges "provoked"?


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## catfishmafia76

Jrmcclure said:


> Was in the bow shop recently, when a guy came in and bought a brand new crossbow. The range clearly states no crossbows, but the guy asked if he could shoot. The guy behind the counter agreed to let him shoot a time or two and the man headed to the range. The owner looked at me and said I don't think it would hurt anything. We heard what sounded like a gunshot shot and the guy came out asking for a first aid kit. He had stuck his thumb straight up on the forearm and the crossbow took the end of it off. Said he was holding it the same way he holds his shotgun. Owner looked at me and said there's a reason for the sign


I've seen some pics of that happening and I have to say it looks BRUTAL! I can see why some companies are making xbows where you can't shoot with the finger up because of a guard.


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## Absolute Archer

Had a guy bring in his bow and asked me to bore sight it for him because he did not have time to sight it in.


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## staggyd

Bee Man said:


> I dont think its funny. Have you ever known anyone who fainted at the sight of blood? Some people will see a paper cut and faint. You were actually breaking hunter decency laws. You could have been fined and had your hunting privileages provoked for it.


This one is right up there with the stupidest things I have ever read one AT.....and thats saying a lot !


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## Bow Me

arduckaholic said:


> He was sighting his xbow at 5ft from the target practically point blank then proceeds to cock it and pull the trigger without a bolt in it.


Ohhhhh...ok


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## arduckaholic

Why are you guys not cashing in on sighting in bows when asked???? We only have a 20yrd lane I explain to them that its different for everyone and won't shoot the same between the two of us. 8/10x they say just get it close. It's not hard to do.....

I had a kid who never hunted come in the shop with a old old I mean OLD bear compound. Wood riser and wood limbs. Pre cable guard and no insert for a modern rest to bolt on. I told him best I can do is set him up with a flipper rest and feathers. I don't remember if he got aluminum or carbon but he kept telling me about how it's his grandpas old bow and if he likes it he will spend the money to get another one. I think this poor kids in for a rough season will probably get discouraged and give it up. 

Well after season I overhear some guys talkin about some dang Yankee kid with a compound assembled by Moses killing a monster 180" class buck. One guy showed me the pic on his phone and sure enough. He smoked a giant with it.


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## 07chuck

Subbed


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## msgtdan

> Saw a guy standing on a chair shooting his bow today. I guess he thought that was sufficient for "elevated shooting" practice at deer.


Maybe not elevated, but definitely not your normal stance at the line. I'd think it's was more about unusual foot placement than elevation


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## Bumpkin 95

Was at the Bass pro in Tennessee and they had some elk mounted bulls and a cow. And one of the tree hugging backpacker types asked me why they mounted a horse and pointed to the cow elk. I could not pass up the easy joke and told him it was not a horse but a cow and left out the elk part then watched the wheels spin in his head


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## nomansland

Bow Me said:


> Ohhhhh...ok


Ya I also fail to see what the 5 ft away had to do with the story.


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## Joe W.

arduckaholic said:


> Why are you guys not cashing in on sighting in bows when asked???? We only have a 20yrd lane I explain to them that its different for everyone and won't shoot the same between the two of us. 8/10x they say just get it close. It's not hard to do.....
> 
> I had a kid who never hunted come in the shop with a old old I mean OLD bear compound. Wood riser and wood limbs. Pre cable guard and no insert for a modern rest to bolt on. I told him best I can do is set him up with a flipper rest and feathers. I don't remember if he got aluminum or carbon but he kept telling me about how it's his grandpas old bow and if he likes it he will spend the money to get another one. I think this poor kids in for a rough season will probably get discouraged and give it up.
> 
> Well after season I overhear some guys talkin about some dang Yankee kid with a compound assembled by Moses killing a monster 180" class buck. One guy showed me the pic on his phone and sure enough. He smoked a giant with it.


Awesome for that kid!! His grandpa sent a monster by his stand!


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## Fury90flier

not bowshop related but gunshop related-- back when I was running a gunshop, we were showing a guy an SKS--the one with the blade bayonet. We had flipped the bayonet out and were examining it when a lady walked up asking about the gun. She said "I want to get that for my husband, he doesn't have a gun that shoots knives"...she was serious.


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## arduckaholic

nomansland said:


> Ya I also fail to see what the 5 ft away had to do with the story.


Probably because who sights in a crossbow at point blank!??? When there is literally a wall of targets thy you can't miss. Just start at 20. I thought it was funny. Do you hang a piece of paper up and shoot your rifle point blank?


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## nomansland

arduckaholic said:


> Probably because who sights in a crossbow at point blank!??? When there is literally a wall of targets thy you can't miss. Just start at 20. I thought it was funny. Do you hang a piece of paper up and shoot your rifle point blank?


Hey all I'm saying is the guy is an idiot at 5 ft to 300 ft. Lol the distance doesn't matter.


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## arduckaholic

He smelled like he just got out of the rv with Willie Nelson. The look on his face while he was inspecting the bag for where the bolt went only to realize he didn't load one was priceless lol


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## arduckaholic

And guys that buy 29 70s for their wife or kids...


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## MARBLESgotBOW

Bump


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## D_Shane

Tech in Basspro gun section is mounting a new scope on a new gun purchase for a customer. This is an older guy, not a kid, guessing 50ish. Cocky. I watch him finish mounting the scope, pick the rifle up and rack the bolt 3 times real fast, shoulder and pull trigger. Removes the bolt, point at the rifle at the far wall. Off hand he is looking down the bore, then quickly raising his head to look through the scope. Couple clicks on the turret. Looks through bore again and quickly lifts head to look through scope again, twice. Re installs the bolt, boxes the gun up and tells the customer he's all set. Just need to carry the firearm himself to the front door--store policy.


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## T3ninja

:set1_rolf2:


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## jewalker7842

D_Shane said:


> Tech in Basspro gun section is mounting a new scope on a new gun purchase for a customer. This is an older guy, not a kid, guessing 50ish. Cocky. I watch him finish mounting the scope, pick the rifle up and rack the bolt 3 times real fast, shoulder and pull trigger. Removes the bolt, point at the rifle at the far wall. Off hand he is looking down the bore, then quickly raising his head to look through the scope. Couple clicks on the turret. Looks through bore again and quickly lifts head to look through scope again, twice. Re installs the bolt, boxes the gun up and tells the customer he's all set. Just need to carry the firearm himself to the front door--store policy.


I'm guessing he was trying to bore site...what an idiot lol.


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## dxtbowhuntersj

jewalker7842 said:


> I'm guessing he was trying to bore site...what an idiot lol.


you can bore sight like that, ive done it. but i would have had a fit if someone i was paying to bore sight did that.


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## jewalker7842

dxtbowhuntersj said:


> you can bore sight like that, ive done it. but i would have had a fit if someone i was paying to bore sight did that.


I have bore sighted like that to0, but the my gun was on a stable platform.

If I was buying a gun from there I would expect them to use a laser lol.


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## jlh42581

arduckaholic said:


> And guys that buy 29 70s for their wife or kids...


They do that on purpose. Thats what they shoot and then they get a new bow.


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## Fruecrue

Awesome thread.
I have a buddy, just bought a creed, had to order it. He said that because it was so close to season, they set up, tuned, and sighted in the shop's creed for him, and the tech would just copy the settings for his when it came in. He told me he chrono'd at 395 because it was tuned so good. After it came in, he told me he's shooting one pin to 60 yards. He's been known to stretch the truth a bit, harmless really, and everyone else was in awe, so I just smile and nod.


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## DrenalinHntr

Not at the bow shop.

I know a guy for the sheriffs office down here where I live. He told me a story about a girl who was doing a ride-along. She had told him that she was an animal rights person and opposed all types of hunting and what not. They got a call for an injured deer, hit by a car. On the way there he was explaining to her that if the deer was still alive, he would have to shoot it. She understood and only asked that she not see it when it occurred. They got to the scene and, sure enough, the deer wasnt dead. The guy pulls his car up in such a manner so that the girl wouldnt see him shoot the deer. Deer shot. About that time, a guy pulled up and asked the officer if he could take the deer, and was told yes. The guy nudges the deer with his foot to see if the deer was dead and took it and threw it in his truck and left. The officer got back to his car where the girl was balling her eyes out. He asked her what was wrong and that he had to do what he had to do. The girl says "I know you had to shoot the deer, but why did that guy have to walk up to it and kick it after you shot it?"


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## wpod

bump

Sent from my VS950 4G using Tapatalk


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## shaffer88

And this is not a sticky yet why?


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## KS-Hoyt-Hunter

My best story came from the night I bought my first bow.

I was 19 and had gun hunted my whole life. My dad, grandpa, uncles, friends etc all gun hunted. I was the first one to get a bow. I had NO clue what anything was. I went to Bass Pro and started looking around. My dad, who was paying for this bow, told the guy we wanted to look at his middle of the road bows. Just in case I tried it and didn't like bow hunting. So we were looking around and the guy told me that a Martin Prowler would be a great bow for me (in fairness it was a really good starter bow. My brother has it now and I still shoot it from time to time. Still shoots good). So he gets me all the accessories I need. I get a whisker biscuit, cobra release, some 3 pin sight, some arrows etc. As we are in the range and he is showing me how to shoot it, my dad asks him: "How much does the technology in bows last for? Is it like a computer and tomorrow it will be obsolete"? The guy told him: "Bow technology has pretty much reached it's pinnacle. Look at the bow? How much more can they improve on? They can't really. This is as good as a bows will EVER get". 
I thought at the time AWESOME. Now it's 10 years later and I look back and laugh at the guy. I'm sure he meant well and didn't know better, but he was off on that prediction.

That did lead to the best thing I've ever heard my grandpa say. While the tech was setting up my bow, we were talking and my grandpa (he's an adopted grandpa and he his a Cherokee indian) announces to everyone that's standing in ear shot: "I don't understand you white people". Everyone kind of looks at him like he's super racist and wonders what he is going to say next. There's probably 10-15 people that heard him. "My people lost this country using a bow and arrow. Now you guys want to hunt with them. Give me a 7mm mag everyday". Everyone started laughing. It was great.


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## RCO

I have literally sit and read all of these comments and have not stopped laughing yet!!! hahaha great thread!


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## PutnamCountyHunter

Not in a bow shop, but.... My buddy took his daughter turkey hunting for the first time a few years ago. He called in a gobbler and she shot it with a shotgun. They really hadn't talked about what would happen if she actually shot one. After the shot my buddy ran out to the turkey and was stepping on it's head/neck. His daughter was sobbing and hysterically screaming "Stop, Dad!!! You're hurting him, you're hurting him!!! Stop!!! Stop!!!." 

I always get a kick out of that story...


----------



## JK_Jeep

HNTRDAN said:


> Not in a bow shop, but.... My buddy took his daughter turkey hunting for the first time a few years ago. He called in a gobbler and she shot it with a shotgun. They really hadn't talked about what would happen if she actually shot one. After the shot my buddy ran out to the turkey and was stepping on it's head/neck. His daughter was sobbing and hysterically screaming "Stop, Dad!!! You're hurting him, you're hurting him!!! Stop!!! Stop!!!."
> 
> I always get a kick out of that story...


Kids say and think the darnedest things. 

Not really a request or bow shop related but I get a kick out this one from my cousins kid.

My cousin shoots a deer at last light one evening and he can't find it so he decides to come back in the morning before work. He has his son the next morning as he's got to bring him to the babysitter before work. So off they go looking for the deer, his son loves hunting and deer and being outside so hes having a great time(hes about 2 yr old). They find the deer drag it out throw it in the truck and head to the walk-in freezer he has access to. This is the first time his sons been in there. He gets the deer hung up and its dripping a bit of blood on the floor. 

His son looks up at him and says "hey dad, its leaking oil!" I nearly spit my beer out all over the kitchen floor. Kids say and think the darnedest things.


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## Fury90flier

Hoyt hunter---don't know gramps but I like him already.


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## titan-chaser

Do you sell bows? A guy asked this in a archery shop... There were bows hanging on wall.


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## JMart294

Some kid shooting an old pse ask the local bow tech, does my rest need a timing cord? I'T was a Whisker biscuit.


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## KS-Hoyt-Hunter

Fury90flier said:


> Hoyt hunter---don't know gramps but I like him already.


Everyone who knows him, likes him.


----------



## SamPotter

KS-Hoyt-Hunter said:


> ... "I don't understand you white people". Everyone kind of looks at him like he's super racist and wonders what he is going to say next. There's probably 10-15 people that heard him. "My people lost this country using a bow and arrow. Now you guys want to hunt with them. Give me a 7mm mag everyday". ....


This is a great quote!


----------



## wvbowhunter1984

While milling around the sporting goods section at the local Wal Mart around the beginning of bow season I overhear a conversation from a couple of guys a few feet away. 
One guy tells his friend he thinks he'd like to try archery hunting. His friend responds "I feel that bow hunting is for people who can't handle a real weapon." 
Stupidest thing I've ever heard. It was difficult not to tell him such.


----------



## Tigerfan413

After working a summer at Dicks Sporting goods in the Lodge area, I heard the dumbest of te dumb frequently. We had signs everywhere not to draw or dry fire the bows. No less than once a week, someone would walk up and draw one back with the siren sensor on it. It would begin squealing letting us know the bow was being drawn, then they would act like they hadn't done it and it just started going off. 

The best story occurred at the gun counter however. I answered a phone call from a lady looking for .40 short and wide. After trying to understand what she wanted, I finally convinced her we had .40 S&W, which stands for smith and Wesson. She came to the store, and again told me the smith and Wesson wouldn't work in her gun, and she needed short and wides. So I told her the name of several local gun shops to call and see if they had any short and wides behind their counter...


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## Fury90flier

Short and wide is generally what I see behind the counter- working the register.


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## Tigerfan413

Fury90flier said:


> Short and wide is generally what I see behind the counter- working the register.


Very true at most retail stores.


----------



## KYDEER16

Was at my local shop a while back and overheard another customer telling one of the guys that work there how his buddy had killed a 181" six point.


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## thechadallan

KYDEER16 said:


> Was at my local shop a while back and overheard another customer telling one of the guys that work there how his buddy had killed a 181" six point.


That could be possible, where I live we call it a 6 pt if it has 6 Pts on both sides. Or 5x6 if it's uneven....


----------



## AZBowhunt

Tugman said:


> Hoyt bows are not two cam bows. The ones that have anything at all have only one draw length module.


This is the funniest thing I have read on here yet. [email protected]


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## Schroeder 188

College kid came into the shop and wanted to buy some new arrows...I asked what size did he want. Kid looked at me funny and asked, what do you mean like small, medium or large.....nearly spit my teeth out... He just turned and walked out.


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## KYDEER16

thechadallan said:


> That could be possible, where I live we call it a 6 pt if it has 6 Pts on both sides. Or 5x6 if it's uneven....


That's not the case in kentucky


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## AZBowhunt

amcmullen said:


> A few years back I took my old Golden Eagle Evolution into the bow shop and took it to the counter. I told the guy I know it's not new but it's what I have and I just want to make it a little quieter. Another tech overheard me, looked at my bow and replied, "buy a set of ear plugs." I just about died!


now that's funny!


----------



## BSmith12

Stash said:


> Having worked in the archery department at a BP for 5 years, I have enough stories to double this thread...
> 
> The guy who claimed he had shot the *supersonic* secret Israeli military crossbow.
> 
> The guy who grabbed a bow off the rack and wanted just 2 arrows and 2 broadheads because he had 2 deer tags.
> 
> The guy who brought in a crossbow to be sighted, and when I shot an arrow, he said "the whole thing goes?" Long story short, he wasn't aware the arrow went downrange - he though it was just something that fired the point.
> 
> The guy who didn't take shots at deer under 75 yards because it wasn't sporting enough.
> 
> The guy who wanted to look at a knife..."careful, it's sharp" and he proceeds to test it against the back of his hand. 20 stitches.
> 
> The guys (several different times) who drew back compounds despite the great big white zip ties on them.
> 
> The guys (several different times) who remove the zip ties, draw back the bows and dry-fire them and when they are asked why they think the zip ties are there in the first place, don't seem to understand the question.
> 
> The guy who wanted a bow new out of the box to test-fire, so we got it for him, and after test firing it, he wanted ANOTHER one in the box because he wanted it for a gift.
> 
> A particular favorite of mine - the guy who shoplifted some Montec broadheads - took them out of the package and stuffed them in his pocket. You can guess how that turned out.
> 
> The guy who came in with a couple of broken arrows and wanted us to replace the shafts for him. (This one could have been a joke).
> 
> The guy who came back with a dozen broken arrows to complain about the poor quality. "What are you using for a target?" "Plywood".
> 
> The guy who wanted his arrows cut to 24". "You sure? You look more like a 29-30 draw length." "No, I want them 24" "OK, 24 it is". Next day, brings them back. Too short. "Why did you want them 24?" "The hunting regulations state an arrow must be 24" long. I didn't realize that was a _minimum_ length."
> 
> That's just off the top of my head.
> 
> Plus pretty much all of the others you've already read here.
> 
> Next time you feel like complaining about poor techical knowledge on the part of a store employee, just remember the customers are usually 100 time worse.


I can't believe half those Hahahaha. 

So many BPS stories on here


----------



## BSmith12

wross1313 said:


> i forget my fav.
> 
> once in awhile i get stuck answering the phones at gander when cust. service is busy.
> 
> "thanks for calling gander mountain how may i direct your call"
> "sporting goods please"
> "MA'AM this is a sporting good store with seperate departments which one are you looking for"
> "duh thats why i called you"
> 
> normally it ends up they get mad and wanna talk to the store manager becuase i wont direct her to the sporting goods department.


That's happened to me before!? Glad I'm not the only one....


----------



## milesthehunta

one day i saw an archery "genius" pick up a bowtech carbon Knight and say i like to shoot light bow this just isn't for me..." to the bow tech


----------



## wildernessninja

took me a while to read all 46 pages.
heres mine. I started shooting a few yrs ago at 27.was in the basement were the shop has the range at and it cardboard stacked to the ceiling.anyway I shot my 3 arrow into the target at 10 yards go up there to pull them suckers wont budge. 10 min im pulling on these sucker hands are slipping from sweating. i go up stairs already feeling like a dummy,there a kid with his mom and the owner goes hows it going down there. i said this sounds dumb but i cant pull my arrows out of the target. the mom just busted out laughing at me and her sound goes ooo don't you have an arrow puller you can use mine. the shop handed me one and i just walked back down stairs.

next still when i was a newbie.while i was practicing at the shop i had loaner arrows from the shop couse i didn't buy them yet cous he told me to wait till i was at the peak weight i wanted.i shot a hole in vanes on the arrow. no problem ill fix it later must be getting good groups here is an other arrow. few min later i come up sorry i broke a nock with an other arrow.he got all happy did you robin hood down there. whats that i said he explained.i said oo i think i just nicked the nock half of its still ther, almost i guess.he seemed happy and put a new nock on.

let my little brother in law try my bow when it was set at 40 lbs it didn't fit but he just wanted to try it. he was holding it side was and struggling to hold it so i grabbed the bottom limb to help him steady it and wow when he shot it i thought iwas getting electrocuted.my hand and arm up to my elbow was messed up for 2 weeks. yup was a newbie.


----------



## jwscott

A guy said he had bow that hits a deer like a boxing glove & knocks them flat on their back ! LOL !!!


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## Richard932

Tagged for laughs. I know there isn't a dumb question but dang some people just shouldn't pick up archery.


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## wildernessninja

still first yr of archery.was down in the shops range and there were a few guys 2 with crossbows and one older guy with an old hoyt and the string was just frayed.he was shooting between his finger and his new thumb release.he wasn't good at either one but insisted that he was better shooting with his fingers.he also was way over bowed.he kept saying i cant wait till the pass the crossbow law so he can get one without being disabled.he just cant pull back 70lbs anymore.i said well cant you just lower the poundage on your bow. he looked at me like i just spoke of some sin.he said no ill just wait till the crossbow law passes so i can get one and knowone with think im a cripple.

other time was at shop guy was sighting in just picked the bow up that day.he broke a limb on his old bow and he was working on the new one.we were a few weeks before the start of season.he seemed interesting in the fact it seemed like he was trying to talk himself into thinking he had a good bow.it was a parker a older model ultra light or something.he saw my bow and saw it was the same brand he said all good you have a parker to i don't know much about them.then told me of the high dollar bow that just broke.(i wont say name of the company).he said this new one draws real nice feels good shoots great it just isn't (name of what bow company he had) he kept asking me is it loud is it loud listen to me shoot it. he threw on all the limb savers and sting stuff stabilizer come back down shoot it. how it sound now? i said it seems to be pretty quite but we are in the basement sure seems to send them arrows out at a good speed.he was also stacking arrows with it.he just kept looking at the name of it and said i just wish had the cash to get the bow of the company he previously had.then he took one last shot and lost an arrow into the cardboard wall dang that's 15 bucks right there well i got to go.


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## ZuluWhiskeyFox

dustoffer said:


> Yes--they live among us, and they vote too!!!


And breed.


----------



## BauseyBadger

Another one that wasn't at a bowshop but happened in the woods.

My cousin and uncle were out in the woods opening morning of gun season. The uncle fell asleep around 8:30 or so. A deer came strolling by around 8:45 and my cousin saw it, lined up the shot and pulled the trigger without waking his dad. Needless to say the shot woke up my uncle. But what he said right after the shot is repeated every year at deer camp....

"Get ready Jake that one sounded close."


----------



## wildernessninja

BauseyBadger said:


> Another one that wasn't at a bowshop but happened in the woods.
> 
> My cousin and uncle were out in the woods opening morning of gun season. The uncle fell asleep around 8:30 or so. A deer came strolling by around 8:45 and my cousin saw it, lined up the shot and pulled the trigger without waking his dad. Needless to say the shot woke up my uncle. But what he said right after the shot is repeated every year at deer camp....
> 
> "Get ready Jake that one sounded close."


lol that's great


----------



## Smoknnca

thechadallan said:


> That could be possible, where I live we call it a 6 pt if it has 6 Pts on both sides. Or 5x6 if it's uneven....


I NM that's how we referred to the deer and elk we hunted. Count the points on one side.


----------



## Smoknnca

MDJB12 said:


> Not archery related. But I work at Gander Mountain. Last night we had three uhm, gentlemen come in. As many of you know, at GM all firearms are required to be cased, and signed into a log book at the entrance of the store. The gentleman went from the entrance back to our ammo shelves. They proceeded to spread out and open 7-8 boxes of ammunition (some even being shotgun shells and rifle rounds) on a display table. Then one of the gentleman removes a handgun from the pocket of his VERY sagged jeans. They proceeded to try to load the gun via trial-and-error. They found a caliber that fit into the revolver (.380 auto) and stood around aiming the now loaded gun and admiring it. Needless to say, we did not let this continue very long. The men informed us that they had just purchased the handgun from a friend of a friend and had no clue what kind of ammunition it took, or anything at all for that matter. We let the police take it from there.
> 
> P.S. had we seen them sooner we would've stopped them. The only reason I know their exact timeline was because we reviewed the security camera footage after.
> 
> People literally are idiots. We need a new plague.


I am lost and laughing at this one as it would take a very special revolver and I believe they are called moon clips to shoot a .380 auto.


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## HH6D

I was out hunting with a couple of coworkers, one who was older and experienced and the other was a kid that claimed he was a very skilled hunter that had shot a ton of deer and could track em over concrete. Anyway, it was the end of hunting light that day and this kid and I were driving back to the cabin after an unsuccessful day. The older fella was driving up the same road so we stopped and he told me to take a look in the back of his truck, he'd shot a nice buck in the driveway of his cabin about 4 minutes before the day ended. We helped him pull it out and asked the kid if he wanted to gut it since he mentioned that he'd never had to gut his own deer since his step father always did it. He says sure and grabs his knife and proceeds to cut so lightly he barely took a hair off the chest...looking at the clock, hungry, and getting cold, I told him to just watch and he could gut the next one. I get around to cutting the anus out and a when I grabbed the rectum to cut it some poo fell out...he asked in all seriousness..."Are those peanuts? I haven't seen a peanut bush here but they sure are big. We should pick some tomorrow."

I've never laughed so hard in my life.


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## countryboy27012

This thread is cracking me up! !!

Marked!


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## wildernessninja

HH6D said:


> I was out hunting with a couple of coworkers, one who was older and experienced and the other was a kid that claimed he was a very skilled hunter that had shot a ton of deer and could track em over concrete. Anyway, it was the end of hunting light that day and this kid and I were driving back to the cabin after an unsuccessful day. The older fella was driving up the same road so we stopped and he told me to take a look in the back of his truck, he'd shot a nice buck in the driveway of his cabin about 4 minutes before the day ended. We helped him pull it out and asked the kid if he wanted to gut it since he mentioned that he'd never had to gut his own deer since his step father always did it. He says sure and grabs his knife and proceeds to cut so lightly he barely took a hair off the chest...looking at the clock, hungry, and getting cold, I told him to just watch and he could gut the next one. I get around to cutting the anus out and a when I grabbed the rectum to cut it some poo fell out...he asked in all seriousness..."Are those peanuts? I haven't seen a peanut bush here but they sure are big. We should pick some tomorrow."
> 
> I've never laughed so hard in my life.


lol wow


----------



## SamPotter

The numbnuts isn't always in front of the counter... Guy at basspro measured my arrows from the tip of the nock instead of the groove. I guess that's what I get for shopping there.


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## Q2DEATH

SamPotter said:


> The numbnuts isn't always in front of the counter... Guy at basspro measured my arrows from the tip of the nock instead of the groove. I guess that's what I get for shopping there.


Wow, thats like, what, and extra 1/4"?


----------



## SamPotter

Q2DEATH said:


> Wow, thats like, what, and extra 1/4"?


Closer to 1/2 , especially because he didn't quite get to the 28" I told him to cut them at, which doesn't seem like much, but when you are trying to match to existing arrows the little details are important. Funny thing was, when I measured the original ones I had, I discovered that they hadn't been measured and cut correctly either, I just never had a reason to check them. So between the 2 there is almost an inch of difference.


----------



## Q2DEATH

SamPotter said:


> Closer to 1/2 , especially because he didn't quite get to the 28" I told him to cut them at, which doesn't seem like much, but when you are trying to match to existing arrows the little details are important. Funny thing was, when I measured the original ones I had, I discovered that they hadn't been measured and cut correctly either, I just never had a reason to check them. So between the 2 there is almost an inch of difference.



That does suck. Sorry.


----------



## SamPotter

Q2DEATH said:


> That does suck. Sorry.


Just another reason I am learning to do more and more of my bow stuff myself. Last year I bought a bowpress, this year it looks like I am going to build an arrow saw...


----------



## Fury90flier

guys, I can't believe I'm having to tell you this. Those odd length shafts are for the in-between yardage shots...just got to number the arrows.


----------



## SamPotter

Fury90flier said:


> guys, I can't believe I'm having to tell you this. Those odd length shafts are for the in-between yardage shots...just got to number the arrows.


Why didn't I think of that? I could have a 1 pin sight and 20,30,40, and 50 yards arrows? (Sounds funny but I bet someone has tried it...)


----------



## sddpse

SamPotter said:


> The numbnuts isn't always in front of the counter... Guy at basspro measured my arrows from the tip of the nock instead of the groove. I guess that's what I get for shopping there.


It all depends how their tape measure on the saw is set up....


----------



## SamPotter

sddpse said:


> It all depends how their tape measure on the saw is set up....


Sounds like a "that's what she said" joke.


----------



## BirchBark

Great thread,

I have one to add, I head into Cabelas to have a new Stainless Synthetic Tikka in 270WSM scoped for my Wife. I meet the Fella at the front and he seems kinda Quirky, not exactly the person I would put in a "Invitation to our store" role. Anyway he proceeded to check my rifle over and tell me how its protocol and everything, im fine with it. He then Zips the case up but never brings the zipper all the way down at the back, flips the gun up to hand it over and the Rifle slides out half landing on the Mat and crashes on the cement floor. He quickly picks it up as it made a hell of a racket and looks it over Red in the face and apologizing, it took everything I had to not absolutely tear into the guy for his stupidity. He seemed very unknowledgeable with firearms and life in general. I looked it over, cycled the action and because there was no scope on it yet and seen no marks or damaged, I while biting my lip headed to the counter to have my scope fitted with rings. I picked out a nice Zeiss scope and told the young guy eager to mount my scope it was very important too me to have the scope fitted as low as possible. It came back the first time with medium bases, I brought the package of optilock rings up to the counter that I thought would work and he proceeded to tell me those will never work...

I said humor me and try, this time the rifle comes out of the back and looked to be sitting right on the rifle height wise, but the rings were reversed as per instructions I took the time to read while he was in the back. 

I took the rifle the way it was because he was so impressed with himself and the job he did, smiled and walked out and took it to another shop to be bore sighted. I didn't explain my story and the first thing he points out is the rings were on wrong. I told the rest of the story to him and we had a good laugh about it. Its one thing to not know your stuff with everything that is in the store, but if you are handling or making adjustments or installs on firearms, I would hope they put you through a course and test your abilities..

BB


----------



## chaded

BirchBark said:


> Great thread,
> 
> I have one to add, I head into Cabelas to have a new Stainless Synthetic Tikka in 270WSM scoped for my Wife. I meet the Fella at the front and he seems kinda Quirky, not exactly the person I would put in a "Invitation to our store" role. Anyway he proceeded to check my rifle over and tell me how its protocol and everything, im fine with it. He then Zips the case up but never brings the zipper all the way down at the back, flips the gun up to hand it over and the Rifle slides out half landing on the Mat and crashes on the cement floor. He quickly picks it up as it made a hell of a racket and looks it over Red in the face and apologizing, it took everything I had to not absolutely tear into the guy for his stupidity. He seemed very unknowledgeable with firearms and life in general. I looked it over, cycled the action and because there was no scope on it yet and seen no marks or damaged, I while biting my lip headed to the counter to have my scope fitted with rings. I picked out a nice Zeiss scope and told the young guy eager to mount my scope it was very important too me to have the scope fitted as low as possible. It came back the first time with medium bases, I brought the package of optilock rings up to the counter that I thought would work and he proceeded to tell me those will never work...
> 
> I said humor me and try, this time the rifle comes out of the back and looked to be sitting right on the rifle height wise, but the rings were reversed as per instructions I took the time to read while he was in the back.
> 
> I took the rifle the way it was because he was so impressed with himself and the job he did, smiled and walked out and took it to another shop to be bore sighted. I didn't explain my story and the first thing he points out is the rings were on wrong. I told the rest of the story to him and we had a good laugh about it. Its one thing to not know your stuff with everything that is in the store, but if you are handling or making adjustments or installs on firearms, I would hope they put you through a course and test your abilities..
> 
> BB



I would of just bought the rings/mounts and installed the scope myself. But then again I try to do everything myself because I don't trust people with my stuff.


----------



## snapcrackpop

Tag


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## jlm81

Tagged


----------



## Matt H

you guys hear about the gold tip arrows that can be bent in half and then straightened by hand? i never had until a salesguy at gander told me about them.


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## bigcountry1219

I've read this thread front to back in the past 4 days. I've got to bump it and keep it alive.


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## jlm81

KYDEER16 said:


> That's not the case in kentucky


Nope. We call it like it is around these parts. Even add a point or two if needed.


----------



## srod

Ttt


----------



## Bigbuckslayer

chaded said:


> I would of just bought the rings/mounts and installed the scope myself. But then again I try to do everything myself because I don't trust people with my stuff.


+100


----------



## snapcrackpop

My dad was sighting in his guns before deer season. Moms 308 and his 270. While loading his 270 he thought he bolt closed "a little hard". Couldn't get the bolt to open again after closing it, but decided to shoot it anyway... He pulled the trigger and when it went off it sounded "odd". Frustrated that he missed the target, he decided to shoot again. The bolt still wouldn't open. That's when he noticed the 308 shell box was still open and the 270 box was still closed. Yep! He sent a 308 down his 270! Gunsmith was able to fix it.


----------



## Colberjs

I hunted last Saturday evening and as I was walking out I caught up with a crossbow hunter walking out on the same trail. We exchanged a few words and when we got back to the parking area his hunting partner was there. I heard him talking about unloading his crossbow and how another guy had showed him a different way to unload it. He put the (I don't know much about crossbows so I'm not sure what it's called) but the thing you put your foot on to cock it on the ground. Then proceeded to pull the trigger. The arrow/bolt (whichever they call them these days) went into the ground a couple of inche's and then snapped. He said the guy had demonstrated for him how to do it that way and then slowly raise the crossbow up to release the tension. Obviously this guy did something wrong. 

I thought it was funny.


----------



## 4 pins

I have a friend that has an OLD bow like plastic cams. And he wanted to go bowhunting this season. The only problem was I saw him at the shop and was listening in on his conversation with the guy behind the counter. He had two packs of field tips and what he said made me want to go up and smack him in the back of the head. He said to the guy. Will these kill a deer? The next day in school I asked him how his groups are and he said what groups. I told him what size groups he needed to be shooting and he replied " oh well I can hit this big tree I have In my yard so I think I'll be able to kill a deer with one of those pointy things"&#55357;&#56883;&#55357;&#56881;&#55357;&#56876;&#55357;&#56870;&#55357;&#56871;


----------



## Sweaver

Went to the beginning of this thread for a good read. Holy Toledo some of these are funny!!


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## bowman29092

When I first got into bow hunting, I bought a cheap bow off Ebay. It served me well for my intended purposes at the time but decided I wanted to get a real bow that would last. I did some research and settled in on a Hoyt. I found a dealer kinda close by and called them up to make sure they had the bow I wanted and they confirmed. I drove out there and shot it a few times and decided it would work and decided to purchase it. The bow tech (older gentleman probably in his 60's) said he needed to put the correct modules on the cams so it'd be the correct draw length for me. He struggled with it for about 15-20 min flipping them around, grabbing different ones and so on. Eventually he said it was good to go and I took it home. After shooting for a bit, I took it over to my gf's house (her dad has been shooting for years and helped get me into the sport). I was having a hard time grouping but figured it was because I was new and just needed to practice. He said something was off and wanted to look it over. We found out that the guy put two different mods on the top and bottom cams. I had to drive all the way back to the guy who then accused me of doing it myself. After that I started to learn how to do most of the work myself. I still can't believe that happened. The shop is still open and actually growing too! I haven't been back since.


----------



## hoyttech13

our local shop always gets a laugh when someone comes in and says they got some great advice off of archery talk........


----------



## TAIL_CHASER

manybows said:


> Heard the best one ever, not at a shop but at a 3-D shoot. A mutual buddy joined us at a shoot and stated that his bow had just been repaired....his *cervix* was broken. I thought I was going to shoot Mt Dew out of my nose!!! Worst thing was, he repeated it several times...I did not have the heart or the composure to correct him.....I can't tie a serving to this day without chuckling. I consider this to be the crown jewel of malaprops


Now that's funny...


----------



## 2nd_Shot

Was at a shop getting arrows. Owner admits to being a Mathews guy. A guy comes in and want to buy a bow under 32" ATA and fast. Owner points him to 3 Mathews. The guy ask about the PSE Decree he had hanging on the wall. Owner said well PSE is starting to make good bows but it not a Mathews.


----------



## DEdestroyer350

Wow^^... Sounds like every other Mathews dealer I've been too


----------



## bgusty

Had a guy looking for arrows when I worked retail. Wanted to get arrows lighter than IBO safety guidelines and the manufacturer warranty. "IBO recommendations are just meant to slow down speed bows to keep hunting more competitive... I was thinking I would get some arrows that finish out around 200-225 grains. What do you have lighter than 5 gpi?" ... Keep in mind this was a 28" draw at 70 lbs.... I explained that we didn't have any arrows that light, unless he wanted to try using some of the foam arrows for the kid toys. Told me to f*ck off and that he would go buy them off eBay. Wonder if he ever built those laser arrows.


----------



## yetihunter1

apache pilot said:


> or the kid who comes in with the old bow his dad gave him. you know like this one and asks if this is a good bow.


haha when I was like 10 my uncle gave me his old Bear Delta-V and i brought that in to get set up....guess i gave the guys at the counter a good laugh but hell i didn't know and my pops wasn't a hunter.


----------



## faktor30

Got a buddy at work who along with his son thinks that the spine number on an arrow is the weight/grain, (350 spine = 350 grains in his eyes.) I just laugh when he says it.


----------



## flinginairos

faktor30 said:


> Got a buddy at work who along with his son thinks that the spine number on an arrow is the weight/grain, (350 spine = 350 grains in his eyes.) I just laugh when he says it.


I see this ALL.THE.TIME. Drives me insane haha


----------



## DwayneEnsign

Guy I worked with many years ago shot a recurve. His hunting arrows weren't flying right, so he decided to check alignment. He was a very good engineer, but apparently didn't have much common sense. He nocked a hunting arrow (wood with broadhead), and stood on the string while drawing the bow so he could look down the arrow, from the broadhead end. The string slipped from under his foot and the broadhead hit him in the sternum. He drove himself to the ER with the arrow embedded in his chest. He survived. He brought a copy of the XRAY to work showing the broadhead in his sternum.


----------



## BrianESutton1

blan said:


> very much agree.


x 2


----------



## BrianESutton1

I had a local bow shop i frequented for many years before the owner passed, and it was closed up. There were always 3 or 4 guys in there socializing. One evening a middle aged man i had never meet before, came in all excited about the giant buck he had just killed. We all went out to check it out and were surprised to see a nice year and a half old 6 point, with bolts sticking out all over the deer. He asked me how old the deer was, stating that it had to be at least 8 to 10 years old. I said it was a year and a half old buck, but was still very nice. He stated that there was no way that buck was that young. I asked him what was all the bumps all over the deer? he said he had shot it 7 times. he said he ran out of bolts with broadheads after the first three shots, and finished it off with four practice tips. I had never met him before and was shocked when the owner of the archery shop told me he was the president of the Fish and Game Club. we all got a pretty good laugh out of that.

Another time I was in there when one of the shop owners buddies was asking Bob the owner, to cut his arrows down to the edge of the TM hunter rest he was using to get the most speed out of his arrows. He was using a 1 inch overdraw. he went outside to shoot and was back in in less than 4 minutes. He had drawn the bow back on his first attempt and the arrow slipped through the rest just as he shot and struck the riser exploding the Carbon arrow, which then splintered into 100's of pieces and entered his left hand. he was taken to the hospital and had to have surgery in which they fillet the skin off of his hand and picked out the splinters.


----------



## Hey Abbott

Sounds like the second story the shop owner was pretty dumb for cutting the arrows that short.


----------



## Mike.Rotch

When the "bow tech" told me, last year, that my cam didn't need to be in time. That it was only to make it more efficient... I do all my own work nowadays! Haha


----------



## MDJB12

Had a guy last week come in and ask me to cut the arrows for his Ghost 360 down to 8" so they would "penetrate farther". Got p*ssed when I told him that he'd blow up his bow if he did it.


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## D-TRAIN

Was in a big box store browsing around and 2 guys went to the counter to have a bow worked on. Said his kisser button was too high and needed moved down...it was the peep sight.


----------



## sgt_fischer

I was at the range on afternoon and a guy shows up and starts shooting. A few minutes later he walks over to me with his arrows and asks "How do you keep the tips from coming out in the target???"

After a moment of shock and disbelief I realized he was serious.


----------



## Hey Abbott

D-TRAIN said:


> Was in a big box store browsing around and 2 guys went to the counter to have a bow worked on. Said his kisser button was too high and needed moved down...it was the peep sight.


A picture of him at full draw would be the funniest thing in the world.


----------



## D-TRAIN

Hey Abbott said:


> A picture of him at full draw would be the funniest thing in the world.


The worst part was the store was having him draw back without an arrow. Makes me cringe every time.


----------



## buckaholic84

D-TRAIN said:


> The worst part was the store was having him draw back without an arrow. Makes me cringe every time.


My buddy bought a bow on sale at dicks and they were setting it up for free after watching the guy tie th d loop and not stretch it at all or burn the ends he handed my buddy the bow and a regular hunting release and told him to draw back so he could see where to install peep. I stopped him and told my buddy to grab his bow told him i probally just saved his bow. Took him to a real archery shop to get it set up right


----------



## gmwilkes

It's sad that the big box stores don't care about the customer, just profit, and will not properly train someone to do something so important.


----------



## jlm81

Tagged


----------



## Striker2

buckaholic84 said:


> My buddy bought a bow on sale at dicks and they were setting it up for free after watching the guy tie th d loop and not stretch it at all or burn the ends he handed my buddy the bow and a regular hunting release and told him to draw back so he could see where to install peep. I stopped him and told my buddy to grab his bow told him i probally just saved his bow. Took him to a real archery shop to get it set up right


My cousin moved from Utah to Tennessee several years ago. Doesn't hunt, never shot a bow. Prior work experience was hanging garage doors & a jail guard. D i c k s hired him out there & he was "tuning" bows before long. I always wondered what kind of mess he made out of new bows? He's back here now, talked to him a couple of weeks ago after I killed my elk & he was asking about my bow - his lack of archery knowledge is still scary.


----------



## FIB

I was in WM many years ago near the gun counter and a guy asks the girl behind the counter (wearing a gun expert vest) what she could tell him about the Remington 11-87. Her response was "We sell a lot of them".


----------



## buck thwacker

I've got a good one...

After I bought my first "real" bow here on AT, I decided to bring it to a proper archer shop to have it set up. Drove 45 minutes to a recommended shop in my area and sat down with the guys for a little bit then we got to tuning my bow and installing the rest and sights. The gentlemen was very professional and claimed that he traveled the country shooting in archery tournaments so I thought i was in good hands.. 

Well.. the "bow tech" was adamant about paper tuning. At first I had a slight tear in the paper at 8 yards so he moves the rest right.. still a slight tear. This process continued until my rest was maxed out to the right and my arrow wasn't in line with my cams or anything. I flat out told him that I could care less about punching holes, I just want this bow to shoot straight. He kept on telling me that paper tuning is "the best" way to go about setting up your bow. I went along with it just to make the process a little more bearable, realizing that I could have done a better job on my own. 
We finally got the bow "tuned" to his liking and it shot a nice bullet hole.. Catch is it shot right about 8" at 20 yards! Took it home and walk back tuned twice with no issues, she was shooting lights out to 60. After I drove all that way and paid someone else to screw it up I've taken it upon myself to work on all my own gear. That was 2 years ago and I have only been to archery shops for 3D tournaments. 

I wish that I still had the pictures of the arrow coming off of the rest, it was really pathetic. Looking from the top of my cams down you could see the arrow gradually pushing right and even with my lack of knowledge about bows I knew it was wrong.


----------



## Buellhunter

so far this year, "Dry Fire Season" is up to 39 bows so far.


----------



## Hey Abbott

buck thwacker said:


> I've got a good one...
> 
> After I bought my first "real" bow here on AT, I decided to bring it to a proper archer shop to have it set up. Drove 45 minutes to a recommended shop in my area and sat down with the guys for a little bit then we got to tuning my bow and installing the rest and sights. The gentlemen was very professional and claimed that he traveled the country shooting in archery tournaments so I thought i was in good hands..
> 
> Well.. the "bow tech" was adamant about paper tuning. At first I had a slight tear in the paper at 8 yards so he moves the rest right.. still a slight tear. This process continued until my rest was maxed out to the right and my arrow wasn't in line with my cams or anything. I flat out told him that I could care less about punching holes, I just want this bow to shoot straight. He kept on telling me that paper tuning is "the best" way to go about setting up your bow. I went along with it just to make the process a little more bearable, realizing that I could have done a better job on my own.
> We finally got the bow "tuned" to his liking and it shot a nice bullet hole.. Catch is it shot right about 8" at 20 yards! Took it home and walk back tuned twice with no issues, she was shooting lights out to 60. After I drove all that way and paid someone else to screw it up I've taken it upon myself to work on all my own gear. That was 2 years ago and I have only been to archery shops for 3D tournaments.
> 
> I wish that I still had the pictures of the arrow coming off of the rest, it was really pathetic. Looking from the top of my cams down you could see the arrow gradually pushing right and even with my lack of knowledge about bows I knew it was wrong.


If he adjusted the rest to shoot bullet holes it obviously wouldn't hit the same place it did before you started since you moved the rest.


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## Dialed_N

madsammer said:


> Once I had a hot chick come in and ask for a better than a BJ bow. I grabbed the most expsensive bow we had and said here. She askes again is this better than a BJ? I told her it's a toss up, but the best we have.
> 
> She came back later that day with her boyfriend and bought it for him, telling him as they we checking out, he has to "satisfy" her for 3 hours.
> 
> Poor guy gets a new bow, and has to do that for 3 hours.


Lmao, the funniest one. I would have said..... It depends on the BJ... I have had some bad BJ's and some good BJ's...some bad bows, some good bows. So how can I answer that without an example to go off of? :wink:


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## ias

Bigbuckslayer said:


> +100


Oh yeah, my "pro shop" installed a new string and cables and the bow was poorly tuned. The yoke almost touches the cam, the cam was leaning pretty much because of no yoke tuning at all and the cams were totally out of sync.
And the guy wanted me to praise him, because the bow is shooting so damn good ... my ass!! At least the string and cables are of good quality and the D-loop is tied ok.
I tuned it by myself and now it shoots straight.

Oh, almost forgot, that he ruined one of my FMJ arrows. The aluminium coating was cracked ...


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## Cfrazier31

Not archery related but still hunting.

When I was younger, there was a guy who lived down the road that wanted to take me hunting. Keep in my this is my first time hunting. So we woke up opening day of rifle season before the butt crack of dawn. We get out to this blind he has set up in the field. We sit there all morning without seeing a thing. So we got up and left. That afternoon we set up in a different blind over looking this long dirt road (it was on private land). Finally this 6 pointer comes walking out on this road and we can see his silhouette. So the family friend takes a shot at him.

We sit there for a good 30 or so minutes after the shot and head up to where the deer was to start on a blood trail. We get up there and all we're seeing is white hair laying on the ground. Instantly he thinks, aw man, I hit him in the guts. Found the blood trail and started after him. Went the whole night and never found him. Next morning woke up and started out again through this field trying to find this deer. I asked "what're the chances of us actually walking up on this deer "(the grass was about chest high, we couldn't see anything on the ground). Just about that time this deer jumps up and takes off running towards the tree line. He pulls up his rifle and puts a kill shot on him this time. 

We go over to check the deer out and start examining it. Then started to field dress before we dragged it out. As he started to field dress it, he looks down and the deer has no penis. We came to the conclusion the night before when he "hit it in the gut" he actually shot the deer's penis off!!


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## catcherarcher

Bump


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## Brett Thomas

Bump dee bump ,


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## johnsd16

I worked for 10 years behind a gun counter mostly but I was the (largely inadequate) fill in archery guy on Sundays. I wish I would have wrote all the things down. 

Had a guy who was an "expert" archer that was in with his cronies to get setup for a new crossbow since he was one of the self proclaimed master deer hunters that did the local city hunt to "control the deer and keep people safe". He was older and had an injury so now had to get a crossbow. He was showing his 40 something friend and a younger relative all about the crossbow and as he readied for the shot I warned him his left thumb was sticking up. He basically told me to piss off and with the first shot took his thumb near clean off. Put it on ice and got him to the ED. 

We used to have an old Easton arrow with inch measurements and we'd have people draw bows to measure DL and cut arrows and such. I can't remember how many times guys that were in there chest pounding in front of their friends or girlfriends couldn't hold a 60lb bow back for 10 seconds. Had probably 6-8 let the arrow fly on me too. We always had a long talk about keeping the finger behind the release trigger the whole time and then they'd say, "it just went off". We had a couple pretty cool 2315 sized holes in the white board and wall at the corner of the counter. 

I used to love the guys that were about 5'5" tall and come in saying they needed an LD bow. I'd have them pull one back and start explaining how it would not be good for them to use that long of a DL. Got a lot of "well they must have changed the DLs now, I used to shoot 31". They often left with 27" bows. 

Some of my favorites I would see coming in the door of our little shop. Leather North American Hunting Club "Life Member" jackets were like wearing a moron sign. Guys were usually about 300-350lbs and talking about their last high country elk hunt, I felt bad for those horses and guide if it was even true. They'd always ask if we had any 338-378s or 30-378s or some other obnoxious caliber and when I would say no, they'd reply with the old "yeah, not surprised, not many people can handle those" as they puffed their chest out and pulled up on their waistband under their dunlap. One guy came in and asked if we had an 348 Winchesters, I said now, we don't get those very often, he said "yeah, pretty rare, its like a souped up 338, I have a couple" 

Been asked to turn the bolt around in a bolt action rifle so it could be left handed. 

Bore sighted lots of rifles after dark on the Friday before WI rifle season or on the Saturday opener. Boresighted one guys SKS and then sold him 60 rounds of ammo. I usually did it, but told them it needed to be sighted in correctly and this was just to get on the paper. A few I absolutely refused to do, and I'll admit one guy was suck a D, talking to all his buddies about how great his gun and shooting skills were, how massive the buck he had picked out was, and that boresighting is perfect while being very rude to me. This was Friday before opener, so I centered his scope up in the boresighter then bottomed it out down. Ground wasn't frozen that year or I'd never have done it. Don't know how much dirt he killed but I figured he was safer that way. 

Had a guy one time buying reloading components for 12 ga target loads. Got the reloader from his ex-FIL. Was outraged at the price of lead shot (this was like 2003 or so when it jumped from $9.99 a bag to $24.99 a bag). He said he'd just skip the shot and shoot the wads at the clays. 

We registered deer and turkeys too so I'd get a lot of people come busting in the door with the "I've got a deer/turkey to register" I would get this shocked look on my face and start walking over quickly and exclaim "is it dead? where is it?" that got a lot of good responses. That whole scene stemmed from a guy that shot his first deer with a rifle, next to the road on public land. It was a nice "buck" and he was very proud, he loaded it right up and rushed over to register it so he could get to the bar to celebrate. He didn't know how to dress a deer but a friend he would be meeting up with later did. I go out to his pickup with a topper and open it up to put the metal tag on and here is this buckfawn, alive, with agonal breathing laying there. I gave the guy and earful even though I was like 20 at the time and made him pull it out. I told him to kill it, and he wouldn't saying he didn't know what to do. I used the fillet knife I always carried to cut the tag to slit it's throat. Deer had very little life in it but man was I p***ed. 

I had a guy showing off drawing a bow and putting his head in it that lost grip on the riser. That seems to be a common one. Good number of dry fires with guys pulling more weight than they could.

Loved the guys that wanted their draw weight measured and for me to twist the string to get it up to 72-72lbs on their 70lb max bow and then tell them it was a 60lb bow currently pulling around 54lbs.


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## DEdestroyer350

Bump


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## NCMFX

Not at the bow shop but the rifle range. I'm shooting at our all purpose range with a buddy. Guy pulls up with one of his buddies and his son. This kid is about 10 years old and is jacked up, excited and keeps grabbing his rifle behind the firing line, bouncing all around, wanting to shoot his dads gun. Really making me a little nervous. Finally he shoots his rifle, does pretty good and calms down a little. Well this guys buddy breaks out a T/C Contender pistol in 7/08. The kids eyes get big as saucers and here comes the excitement and bouncing around asking to shoot it, holding it behind the firing line when nobody is watching him, etc. 

The guys buddy goes to the other range next door with the kid. They finally agreed to let the boy shoot it probably just to shut him up. They're gone for a few minutes and then they come back with the kid squalling like a stuck pig. When he shot the pistol it came back and whacked him square between the eyes, cut him wide open, blood pouring down the kids face. They packed up real quick, presumably headed to the ER to get the kid stitched up.


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## ChappyHOYT

At our old shop we'd prank the big box stores with phone calls. Not the shop owners, just us 'tards hanging out. We'd ask what size shafts they have and how long, stupid stuff like that. Good times.


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## KRONIIK

NCMFX said:


> Not at the bow shop but the rifle range. I'm shooting at our all purpose range with a buddy. Guy pulls up with one of his buddies and his son. This kid is about 10 years old and is jacked up, excited and keeps grabbing his rifle behind the firing line, bouncing all around, wanting to shoot his dads gun. Really making me a little nervous. Finally he shoots his rifle, does pretty good and calms down a little. Well this guys buddy breaks out a T/C Contender pistol in 7/08. The kids eyes get big as saucers and here comes the excitement and bouncing around asking to shoot it, holding it behind the firing line when nobody is watching him, etc.
> 
> The guys buddy goes to the other range next door with the kid. They finally agreed to let the boy shoot it probably just to shut him up. They're gone for a few minutes and then they come back with the kid squalling like a stuck pig. When he shot the pistol it came back and whacked him square between the eyes, cut him wide open, blood pouring down the kids face. They packed up real quick, presumably headed to the ER to get the kid stitched up.


 I feel kinda bad for the kid, but I laughed anyway.
His dad was a dope for not teaching him better, sooner and under safer surroundings. The rifle range is no place for excitable, undisciplined children (of ANY age).


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## dustoffer

The earler goat story reminded me of something that happened at Camp Bullis--army training area near San Antonio, TX. I was at the game check station just watching the deer being checked and heard laughing--an "allied officer" from India/Pakistan or somewhere over there had a goat--guys told him it was a goat and he said "is no gut, is deah" (think about his accent) and he repeated that phrase several times. Not sure he believed it when the game biologist told him it was a goat either.


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## Strings100

and they have "smart phones"....


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## jahnke76

Had a guy tell me his dog derailed his bow. Some people will say anything hopi g not to pay.

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## Goathollerbucks

November of 2014, switched releases after losing my tru fire that summer. Bought a cheap allen from Wal-Mart. Asked the better half to go hunting with me.
Not 10 minutes into the hunt here comes a big doe. She feeds around in the beans in front of me for a good 2 hours. Finally decided to shoot her. 
Put the release on the string, get almost to the let off of the draw, and the release breaks at the caliper. Punching myself in the mouth. Start bleeding every where lol. I don't think i've ever been so mad in my life! But i laugh about it now.


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## Andrews101

Time to revive the post. Anything new?


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## grfox

bump for an oldie but goody.

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## cb360j

Maybe not so funny, but worth mentioning. 

About 10 years ago I bought my first bow online, it was a pse bow madness and I think i ordered it from bass pro or dicks sporting goods. Don't remember. 
My dad wasn't much into hunting and we didn't know to much so we went to bass pro to get setup, and the guy there told me how I had got a great deal on my bow and how even though it was a little big for me I could grow into it. This guy was super knowledgeable and helped me pick everything out and taught me how to shoot right there in the store. 

Well, two years ago when I picked my bow back up to start hunting again I took it outside and shot. The first couple arrows were fine, but then I shot an arrow that was just cracked or maybe since it was so old it was really brittle im not sure but the arrow exploded and basically dry fired my bow.. the draw length was probably also way to short for me at this time I still had no idea what I was doing. Strings came off the cam and everything, so I decided to take it to a local pro shop close by. 

Walked in and the same exact dude that helped me set up ten years prior was standing there in his now own pro shop. He somehow recognized me and told me it had been a long time, and then helped me get everything reset as well as some new strings and arrows. He told me that when I wanted a new bow to come see him, and I told him after I shot my first bow buck I would... A couple weeks ago I shot my first bow buck and when the remaining flagship bows get released this year I'll go get one from him.


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## mrbirdog

great story


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## mod-it

What a great thread! Glad someone revived it so I noticed it. Close race with the "Trespassers" thread.
A couple archery related and another one that isn't, but too good not to share.
Several years ago I had an Alpine bow of some sort, I've had several over the years since I live in Alpine Archery's hometown and have a buddy that works there too, so don't remember which model it was. There was a small "pro" shop a guy ran out of his basement, middle aged guy named Leroy that was fairly cranky most of the time. He was the only pro shop in the area, so I take my bow in to him to get new string and buss cable put on. He says no problem, call you in about a week. He calls a week later and says it's ready, come in and we'll get the peep set perfectly and tied in. I come in, clip my release and draw to check the peep. First thing I notice is the bow feels like it is only 60 lbs rather than 70, and the peep isn't even in the ballpark. He had measured it from the nock on the old string so it should be a lot closer. I let down, look and see that the limb bolts are buried, and so walk over to his poundage scale. I check the weight and it shows 61 lbs. I tell Leroy that the wrong length string or cable has been put on, it has 70 lbs limbs that are buried. He immediately bulls up and says I must have 60 lbs limbs and have been mistaken that my bow is 70 lbs. I've owned it for four years. I ask him to check the axle to axle to verify, he says no need I did everything right. Now pay or I call the cops. I shake my head in disbelief, tell him he lost a customer and has no business working on bows, pay, and walk out. I call my friend at Alpine and explain. He says come on out and I'll look at it. Nice of him, Alpine doesn't deal with customers directly. I go out, he takes the bow down and holds the buss cable up next to a correct one...one whole inch too long. Puts the correct one on, checks poundage at 71 lbs, helps me move the peep to correct spot and ties it in. No charge.


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## mod-it

About two years ago I was at our local archery range doing some practicing. It has a shooting line and targets from 20-60 yards in a "V" shape, so there are 20 yard targets on the left and right side, 30, 40, 50, and then just one 60 yard target in the center of the "V". So you stand at the shooting line, shoot whatever target you want, others do the same, and then when all are ready we all go and pull arrows. Pretty simple concept. There are 3 other people there when I arrive. I'm all sighted in and just there to practice, so I just shoot 60 yards over and over. About a half hour in this older guy shows up, he is a traditional shooter. He gets his stuff out and waits for us to finish shooting and pull our arrows. We do, and as we're walking back to the line he is walking down range towards the 60 yard target. I kind of wonder why in my head. I get back to the line, grab my bow and turn around. The old guy is standing 20 yards from the 60 yard target and starts shooting?! Of course none of us can shoot. I walk down and interrupt him and calmly explain how the range works, everyone shoots from the same line. The way he is doing it no one else can shoot. He looks at me like I grew an arm out of my forehead, and then says "I like shooting at this target (it is a bigger bag target than the others) and this is how I'm going to do it." I shake my head, shrug, and walk back to the line. All three of the others go down and try to reason with him, when they are done the old guy's face is beet red...from anger. He is absolutely going to do it his way.
We all ended up just packing up and leaving.


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## mod-it

This one isn't archery related but still shows the "intelligence" of some folks out there.
A friend is in the market for a used snowmobile for his wife. This was in the early 2000's. He is wanting an older Yamaha Phazer for her. He finds one in the MoneySaver, it is a '91 Phaser ll, pretty modded. Has an Aaen pipe, flat slide carbs, and a Comet clutch. Friend asks me to go with him to look at it. Guy wants $1500 for it, which is reasonable.
We go to look at it on a Sunday. We get to where the guy instructed us to meet him and as we pull in he is pulling in too. It is him and another guy, pulling a 2 place trailer with two sleds. Sleds have snow in the tunnel so they obviously just came from riding. The guy gets out and immediately says, "Well you're not going to want it now! We burned it down today!". I ask what happened and he says it just quit running, won't sputter or anything. I walk over to the sled and slowly pull on the pull rope, it pulls through. A burned down sled is normally seized. I ask if I can pull the plugs, he says yes. I pull them and they are a nice brown with no sign of metal flakes. Walking to put the tools away I tell my buddy, "It's a fairly simple problem, offer him $500 bucks for it". My buddy does and the guys immediately says, "SOLD!". We drag it onto our trailer and head for my friend's house. We get there, and I ask him to get a flashlight. (K.I.S.S. method, start easy and work towards hard). He gets me a flashlight, I take off the gas cap and look into the tank. "Uh, got any gas?". Friend smiles and gets a gas can. Pour a gallon in and she fires right up.
Gotta love saving a grand because they ran it out of gas and thought it was "burned down".


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## LetThemGrow

Lol that’s priceless!


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## skynight

mod-it said:


> This one isn't archery related but still shows the "intelligence" of some folks out there.
> A friend is in the market for a used snowmobile for his wife. This was in the early 2000's. He is wanting an older Yamaha Phazer for her. He finds one in the MoneySaver, it is a '91 Phaser ll, pretty modded. Has an Aaen pipe, flat slide carbs, and a Comet clutch. Friend asks me to go with him to look at it. Guy wants $1500 for it, which is reasonable.
> We go to look at it on a Sunday. We get to where the guy instructed us to meet him and as we pull in he is pulling in too. It is him and another guy, pulling a 2 place trailer with two sleds. Sleds have snow in the tunnel so they obviously just came from riding. The guy gets out and immediately says, "Well you're not going to want it now! We burned it down today!". I ask what happened and he says it just quit running, won't sputter or anything. I walk over to the sled and slowly pull on the pull rope, it pulls through. A burned down sled is normally seized. I ask if I can pull the plugs, he says yes. I pull them and they are a nice brown with no sign of metal flakes. Walking to put the tools away I tell my buddy, "It's a fairly simple problem, offer him $500 bucks for it". My buddy does and the guys immediately says, "SOLD!". We drag it onto our trailer and head for my friend's house. We get there, and I ask him to get a flashlight. (K.I.S.S. method, start easy and work towards hard). He gets me a flashlight, I take off the gas cap and look into the tank. "Uh, got any gas?". Friend smiles and gets a gas can. Pour a gallon in and she fires right up.
> Gotta love saving a grand because they ran it out of gas and thought it was "burned down".


Awesome.
I bought my (~$4000) treadmill for $100 because they plugged the control cable into the wrong slot.


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## wyetterp

I watched a "Bow Tech" at basspro, that was maybe 5'4", set up a bow up for a guy that was around 6'2". 
The buyer keep saying he'd never even shot a real bow & how happy he was to get into to. I literally watched 
the tech put the peep sight in & drew the bow (with no arrow & with fingers) to set the peep height. He did 
this maybe 8 or 9 times, drawing & moving the peep & explaining to the customer how important it is to get 
the peep height set correctly. As you can tell this joker was setting it to what looked good to him not the taller 
guy buying his first bow. I thought, okay maybe the tech is just guessing & will let him shoot to set it right. Nope, 
the tech went on to tie the peep & explained to the guy how it's set perfect. I honestly thought about intervening 
but just left it alone & minded my own business. Figured the guy would hopefully do his own research & realize 
how incompetent the BP tech was. 

I swear I've had more BP reps try & talk me out of buying what I came in for then show me where it is.


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