# Need help in getting out of federal jury duty



## caskins269 (Jul 31, 2008)

I have recently been chosen for Jury Duty for the Month of May.. Problem is, I am planning on shooting the 1st leg of the national triple crown at Bedford Indianna. Now I am not sure I can make it. Any ideas anyone________________?


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## bdwhitetalhunt (Dec 14, 2009)

tell them your racist ive heard that works.


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## Alpha Burnt (Sep 12, 2005)

hope they dont find out you posted this, that would probably do it! Probably would not make it to Bedford though.


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## safe cracker (Sep 28, 2009)

*federal jury duty...*

tell them you have money down on a vacation and no refunds....good luck.


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## FIG (Sep 23, 2008)

if they dont have any big case,s you may get out of it. you just show up when they tell you to it may not interfear. if it is federal or higher you almost can never get out of it


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## waywardson (Jun 16, 2005)

"If he was indicted, then he's guilty!" 
"I think the death penalty should be a possible sentence for almost all crimes, especially for a repeat offender."
"I do believe (insert racist/derogatory remark here) is inferior." 
"I had family screwed over by a scumbag like this and I hope they all rot."
"I don't trust lawyers or the federal government. If the feds say he is guilty, then I vote innocent." 

You would have to show that you have some bias that may hamper a defense attorney's chance at winning.


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## Deer Slayer I (Feb 21, 2010)

SORRY Ive been on on a jury state not federal. Its our civil responsibility. Just like the men overseas. Glad your not my case!


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## carlosii (Feb 25, 2007)

Good luck! Ha! I was on a federal grand jury that was supposed to be a three month term...we were released a year later! Kept extending us...I guess cause we were so good at it.
If you don't show up they send U.S. Marshals out to bring you in!
Generally they don't meet on Fridays so you might be good to go. Never did work on the weekends.


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## maineyotekiller (Oct 1, 2005)

Tell 'em you have a family member in law enforcement.


Or, Tell 'em you'd make a great jurer 'cause you can tell if someone's guilty just by looking them in the eye! :wink:


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## Josh_Putman (Jun 18, 2004)

I've heard some comedians that had pretty good bits about getting out of jury duty. One of my favorite ones asks "Do you really want your life in the hands of twelve people that are too stupid to get out of jury duty?"

Good old George Carlin had some great stuff, too. Too bad he's dead, I would have loved to hear what he would have to say about our current president.


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## ebonarcher (Mar 2, 2008)

Walk in the courtroom point at the judge and yell out yeah he looks guilty.


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## carlosii (Feb 25, 2007)

A Grand Jury doesn't decide guilt or innocence. It hears the evidence the government wants them to hear and then decides whether or not to indict the person or entity on the charges presented by the U.S. Attorney.

If there is an indictment then it goes to trial, unless there is a plea bargin, but the Grand Jury isn't involved trials.

Grand Juries get to hear a lot more juicy details than petit juries. Plus the jurors get to discuss the cases among themselves. But you won't be allowed to discuss cases outside the jury room. You will probably get more than one case to consider too.


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## Baconator (Dec 8, 2009)

I was selected for jury duty last year and I was stunned at how easy it is to get out of it. They brought 40 of us in for questioning to get it narrowed down to 15. The excuses that got people out were laughable - 

"Prospective juror, how would you feel about being on this jury?"
"To be honest, I'd be distracted, I watch a certain program every day and I'd be wondering what is happening on it."
"Don't you have TIVO or a VCR?"
"Yes, but my friends would see it before me and would be talking about it, it would ruin it for me."
"You're free to go." 

I was asked what my opinions are on the deal and I said, "It certainly will be interesting, I'm betting the 12 of us couldn't decide on where to go to lunch together without somebody getting mad but we can still probably figure out a way to hang this guy."

"You're free to go."


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## caskins269 (Jul 31, 2008)

thanks all. Some of you had some interesting topics, but I know I have to go if called upon. All I have to do, is cross my fingers and hope that when I check in on every Friday, they have nothing for me.


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