# How would you react?



## bowtechbuffy (Jul 3, 2007)

Okay ladies, I know this is COMPLETELY off topic, but I had a really rough day today and wanted to get some input on how I should react.

I work for a doctor as a receptionist/secretary and general office grunt. I go to work everyday in clean pressed scrubs (the required uniform), showered, with my hair brushed and styled neatly. I wear tasteful jewelry and rarely wear perfume since there are people there who have trouble with strong scents. I'm not the prettiest or the most feminine woman in the world, but I try to do my job to the best of my ability. 

I was pulled into a room by the office manager and told that the Dr. wanted her to tell me that I have to wear makeup everyday to work. She said the Dr felt I didn't look professional without makeup. I said okay and took the instructions without complaint. But I couldn't help feel insulted. I went to lunch and spent the better part of it crying or generally being ticked off. My hubby was furious and told me to quit. 

Did I over react? I can remember being told almost the same thing by a very cute guy in high school. He was talking to a cheerleader telling her she didn't need to wear any makeup because she was so pretty, then he turned to me and said there wasn't enough makeup inthe world to help me. Today was a flashback to how I felt when he said it. 

How would you have reacted? Am I being too sensitive? I try to be realistic about myself in that I know I'm no great beauty, but my hubby seems to like me enough and he's a cutie.


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## CountryWoman (Jul 24, 2006)

bowtechbuffy said:


> Okay ladies, I know this is COMPLETELY off topic, but I had a really rough day today and wanted to get some input on how I should react.
> 
> I work for a doctor as a receptionist/secretary and general office grunt. I go to work everyday in clean pressed scrubs (the required uniform), showered, with my hair brushed and styled neatly. I wear tasteful jewelry and rarely wear perfume since there are people there who have trouble with strong scents. I'm not the prettiest or the most feminine woman in the world, but I try to do my job to the best of my ability.
> 
> ...


Wow:jaw: that is . . .I am kinda speechless. I pry would have reacted the same way you did :noidea: and it isn't like you are sloppy so I think it is uncalled for to ask that. I wouldn't quit . .I just don't know if I would comply:confused3: I personally love makeup:wink: but if someone told me I had to wear it . . .Hmmm let me think about this for awhile and see what the other ladies think:confused3: . . . do the other ladies in the office all wear makeup?


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## DeeS (May 12, 2005)

To me, beauty is in the eye of the beholder and how YOU feel about yourself. :nod: I think your boss was wrong to tell you that you HAVE to wear makeup to work. I mean, what if you are allergic to it? I, myself, wear very little makeup. I'm not one with model type looks either, but I am comfortable with myself and who I am. That being said, I probably woulda blown a gasket, walked in and talked directly to the Dr. and told him to shove his job.  That is just uncalled for in my opinion........but as some know here, I have a very hard time keepin my mouth shut! :embara:


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## bowtechbuffy (Jul 3, 2007)

DeeS said:


> To me, beauty is in the eye of the beholder and how YOU feel about yourself. :nod: I think your boss was wrong to tell you that you HAVE to wear makeup to work. I mean, what if you are allergic to it? I, myself, wear very little makeup. I'm not one with model type looks either, but I am comfortable with myself and who I am. That being said, I probably woulda blown a gasket, walked in and talked directly to the Dr. and told him to shove his job.  That is just uncalled for in my opinion........but as some know here, I have a very hard time keepin my mouth shut! :embara:


The Dr is a woman who is VERY image oriented, so much so that she has had eyeliner permanently tattooed on her eyes. But I don't think I look any worse than some of the other women there. Heck there's one lady who's hair always looks like she just rolled out of bed. Most of the women who work there are young, thin, and pretty. Three things I'm really not. But I don't think I'm exactly dog meat either.


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## CountryWoman (Jul 24, 2006)

DeeS said:


> To me, beauty is in the eye of the beholder and how YOU feel about yourself. :nod: I think your boss was wrong to tell you that you HAVE to wear makeup to work. I mean, what if you are allergic to it? I, myself, wear very little makeup. I'm not one with model type looks either, but I am comfortable with myself and who I am. That being said, I probably woulda blown a gasket, walked in and talked directly to the Dr. and told him to shove his job.  That is just uncalled for in my opinion........but as some know here, I have a very hard time keepin my mouth shut! :embara:


So do I :chortle: that is why we get along so well . . 

the allergic point is very valid and I agree you may want to sit down and talk to the Dr.


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## z28melissa (Feb 8, 2007)

What the.... I am normally a very non-confrontational kinda person, but that would put me over the edge!!! I honestly don't know what I would do if I were in that position, but it sure as heck would be hard for me to keep going there day after day knowing what a jerk I'd be working for. There are many women who don't wear makeup at all and nobody should be expected or required to, by their boss or by anyone! I'm sorry you have to put up with that :sad:


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## bowtechbuffy (Jul 3, 2007)

CountryWoman said:


> So do I :chortle: that is why we get along so well . .
> 
> the allergic point is very valid and I agree you may want to sit down and talk to the Dr.


I'm not allergic, but I do get break outs from time to time. I do wear make up occassionally, but not very much, just a little mascara, a bit of eyeliner, and some lip gloss. Nothing that screams "Made-up!!". I havne't worn any lately because I sweat at the gym and mascara runs. Plus it's a hassle and I usually dont' have time for it. When I do wear it, I put it on in the car on the way to work, at stoplights. Plus I dont' really feel like I know what the heck I'm doing when I put it on... I always feel like it's on lopsided or just generally wrong, and that looks worse in my opnion than none at all.


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## CountryWoman (Jul 24, 2006)

bowtechbuffy said:


> I'm not allergic, but I do get break outs from time to time. I do wear make up occassionally, but not very much, just a little mascara, a bit of eyeliner, and some lip gloss. Nothing that screams "Made-up!!". I havne't worn any lately because I sweat at the gym and mascara runs. Plus it's a hassle and I usually dont' have time for it. When I do wear it, I put it on in the car on the way to work, at stoplights. Plus I dont' really feel like I know what the heck I'm doing when I put it on... I always feel like it's on lopsided or just generally wrong, and that looks worse in my opnion than none at all.


I break out some too:frusty: and the more I think about it, I would have a problem working there too:nod: but if you do decide that it isn't the place for you with that kind of "views" or your boss make sure you have another job:wink: you don't want to be put in a bind by this


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## bowtechbuffy (Jul 3, 2007)

CountryWoman said:


> I break out some too:frusty: and the more I think about it, I would have a problem working there too:nod: but if you do decide that it isn't the place for you with that kind of "views" or your boss make sure you have another job:wink: you don't want to be put in a bind by this


To make matters worse, I'm being treated by the Dr. and will be in treatment (orthodontics) for at least another year. If I quit, I have to pay the remaining balance on the contract at $300 a month.


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## CountryWoman (Jul 24, 2006)

bowtechbuffy said:


> To make matters worse, I'm being treated by the Dr. and will be in treatment (orthodontics) for at least another year. If I quit, I have to pay the remaining balance on the contract at $300 a month.


 That sucks . . .you have alot to think about

different subject but as I was typing this my husband walked by and read the "golf is for people who can't shoot a bow" and had to laugh :wink:


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## kjwhfsd (Sep 10, 2005)

I would keep a ledger of that conversation and any others that may come. I would tell you do nothing that you dont want to. If it becomes a issue it surely is not grounds to fire you if they do. Sue her and own her a** then tell her to get that gaugy tatooed makup removed.


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## ragella (May 21, 2006)

Sorry but this sounds like discrimination or at least harassment. I would have the Dr. put it in writing exactly what makeup she is meaning! I cant and personally dont want to wear foundations because they do break me out because they clog the pores(and many have fragrances that im allergic to).....the longer and more often i wear them the worse the break outs. I could live with a little lip gloss or even the occassional eye shadow but I dont because i dont want to. ( I feel and others have told me that I look worse or weird with make up on.) There is nothing wrong with the natural look! after you get it in writing check w/lawyer or labor board to see if this is considered harassment. 

Ragella


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## kimmiedawn (Jun 26, 2006)

ragella said:


> Sorry but this sounds like *discrimination or at least harassment.* I would have the Dr. put it in writing exactly what makeup she is meaning! I cant and personally dont want to wear foundations because they do break me out because they clog the pores(and many have fragrances that im allergic to).....the longer and more often i wear them the worse the break outs. I could live with a little lip gloss or even the occassional eye shadow but I dont because i dont want to. ( I feel and others have told me that I look worse or weird with make up on.) There is nothing wrong with the natural look! after you get it in writing check w/lawyer or labor board to see if this is considered harassment.
> 
> Ragella


That is what I was thinkin. I dont wear makeup and dont think I could work somewhere, for someone who says "YOU HAVE TO WEAR IT". No I know I couldn't work there..


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## Mali (Dec 20, 2008)

Yeah, I'd be p.o'd too! I don't wear makeup except on special occasions. To say that you don't look professional because you don't wear makeup is completely asinine! I don't think you overreacted at all because I'm getting angry for you! 

I agree completely with everything Ragella said. I think that is a very good route for you to go at this point.

I would blow a freaking gasket if someone told me I had to wear makeup to work! I cannot imagine how hurtful that was for you to hear and I'm proud of your hubby for being absolutely furious on your behalf, clearly you've got a good one :blob1: I'm sorry this was said to you and it is crass and completely out of line in my opinion.

edit - My husband is p.o'd too and said that this is sexual harassment and that they absolutely cannot force you to wear makeup. I think he raises a very good in that you need to stick to your guns on this, screw the makeup and if the doctor gives you a hassle, take it to a labor board. How would someone react if it was a male forcing you to wear makeup?


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## bowtechbuffy (Jul 3, 2007)

Thanks ladies! I had to admit I wasn't sure if I really had the right to be upset or not, and wondered if I just needed tougher skin. 

The coolest part though is that a bunch of the other girls in the office offered to wear "Mimi" makeup (from the Drew Carey Show) on Thursday to protest! I wonder how "professional the Dr would think that was!! :angry:


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## bowtechbuffy (Jul 3, 2007)

*New avatar!!*

I couldn't resist!!!


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## Mali (Dec 20, 2008)

LMAO at the avatar! love it :blob1: I'm glad that your coworkers are standing up for you and are on your side.


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## bowtechbuffy (Jul 3, 2007)

Mali said:


> LMAO at the avatar! love it :blob1: I'm glad that your coworkers are standing up for you and are on your side.


I think I have my Halloween costume... Mwahahahaha!


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## canam (Apr 2, 2003)

Hi Buffy!
I am normally a non-confrontational type of person like some of the others say they are, but after reading that post- I am pissed! Now, I am a teacher who has worked for a harassing type of asst principal, so I have learned to dot my i's and cross my t's where he is concerned. I have built cases in case I ever needed them. My first question to you is this- is it written in any contract you may have signed that your dress code requires you to wear make-up? I'm sure the answer is no, but I had to ask before I continue. 

You need to document that conversation between you and that nurse. You can lay low and wait to see if it happens again (and document it) or you can ask the doctor about it. Maybe it is that nurse being snotty and the doctor is clueless (but probably not). Don't quit. Stand your ground. If the doctor agrees that you should wear make-up, tell her that she needs to send you for a facial and provide the non-allergenic make-up. If she refuses and threatens your job, call a lawyer. That is discrimination. It's not ike you're dirty, stinky and unkempt. I'll be honest, you are the type of person who makes a person like me feel comfortable in a doctor's office. 

As I sit here and reflect, most of the people that I see in my doctor's offices (except for the prissy secretaries) wear light to no make-up. I feel that a "made-up" nurse or doctor's assistant looks unprofessional. In face, Cover Girl and scrubs don't go together, lol.

UGHHHHHHHHHHH did I say that pisses me off? Hang in there girl and vent to us. You may end up owning that office.


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## bowtechbuffy (Jul 3, 2007)

canam said:


> Hi Buffy!
> I am normally a non-confrontational type of person like some of the others say they are, but after reading that post- I am pissed! Now, I am a teacher who has worked for a harassing type of asst principal, so I have learned to dot my i's and cross my t's where he is concerned. I have built cases in case I ever needed them. My first question to you is this- is it written in any contract you may have signed that your dress code requires you to wear make-up? I'm sure the answer is no, but I had to ask before I continue.


Nope! no contracts signed regarding dress code or makeup.


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## CountryWoman (Jul 24, 2006)

bowtechbuffy said:


> Thanks ladies! I had to admit I wasn't sure if I really had the right to be upset or not, and wondered if I just needed tougher skin.
> 
> The coolest part though is that a bunch of the other girls in the office offered to wear "Mimi" makeup (from the Drew Carey Show) on Thursday to protest! I wonder how "professional the Dr would think that was!! :angry:


:chortle: I think that is great


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## lojo (Mar 13, 2009)

I'm almost 48 years old. Make-up is and always has been a hassle. I'm going to tell you something that might be surprising to you - maybe not. Make-up is put on by women, for women. The majority of men would rather not see it. I knew your doctor was a woman before I read it. Only a woman would be concerned about it. Being clean, neat, professional, and courteous is waaaaaay more important. Also, even though I'm a woman, I'll have to admit that working with women can be tough, especially women bosses. Pettiness, nitpicking, and gossip can rule the workplace and make it awful. 

Don't put any make-up on. Be yourself. I've found that the very thing most women point out and find fault with in others is a reflection of their own insecurity. Also, what kind of boss hasn't got the integrity or professionalism to approach their employee directly with a perceived problem? Only one who either didn't say what the co-employee is telling you, or one who likes to stir up trouble. 

Boy, I didn't mean to preach or write a book, but you're absolutely right to be upset. Try to blow it off, smile, and keep on being the kind, neat, professional you are -- WITHOUT make-up. By the way, if that's all your boss can find in you to complain about, you must be a great employee!


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## Archry Princess (May 28, 2009)

Sorry to hear about your trouble - that is crap. Sounds like the Dr is very superficial. I would be so tempted to wear the Mimi make-up - then what will they say?


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## tgross144 (Dec 18, 2006)

Sorry, but I just couldn't help myself. If you work for a Dentist I hope that you are taking notes of how many people are coming in or not with today's economy. This may be something that is designed to make you quit. I know that the dentist I go to is hurting for patients.

By the way, her staff(my dentist) wear little to no make-up, except for one woman. Heck the Dr. hardly wears any. I have a background in the sciences (chemistry, and biology) and it is a big no no to wear makeup or perfume in a lab. It can cause a chemical reaction with others in the building.

All I can say is dot your i's and cross your t's, and take lots of notes. Notes that should include the date, time, person that spoke to you, and the amount of makeup they were wearing.

Keep the job.

Let them know it is yours and that they couldn't function properly without you. But, do it in a nice way.

Good luck,
Tim


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## McStamper (Feb 25, 2009)

Here is a interesting article, I was surprised it is legal to fire someone for not wearing makeup.

http://writ.news.findlaw.com/colb/20050111.html


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## bowtechbuffy (Jul 3, 2007)

McStamper said:


> Here is a interesting article, I was surprised it is legal to fire someone for not wearing makeup.
> 
> http://writ.news.findlaw.com/colb/20050111.html


Heck here in Virginia, an employer can fire someone because it's Tuesday. They don't have to have a reason at all. BUT, they DO have to pay into the unemployment benefits for the fired person. 

Interesting article though.


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## tmvidalsgirl (Aug 9, 2007)

Ask her for a raise to pay for the makeup....that's b*sh*t....and I'm not against makeup and I have my eyeliner tatooed on. I very very seldom wear makeup only when I am in certain "crowds". I would have cried too.....


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## absolutecool (Mar 26, 2006)

I think it sucks, I hate makeup and I love my boss but if she told me I had to wear makeup we would have a serious conversation and it would probably end with me walking out the door...

I understand too that employers can fire without any reason, it is the same way at my job...it sucks but that is just the way it is.

I wouldn't do it if it were me. Or I would walk in wearing my chapstick and tell her that you are wearing your make up...oohhh...maybe you should wear some hunting makeup and tell her that is the only kind you have...that would be a good one!!!

Let us know how it goes..


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## MiLyGo (Jun 3, 2009)

How terrible! I have worked in the medical field and NEVER wore makeup and perfume was strictly forbidden. I had to sign paperwork saying that I would not wear perfume to work when I worked in a hospital. I was also not allowed to paint my nails or wear them long either. 

I'm pretty shocked that a doctor (male or female) would require you to wear makeup. That is just wrong. Every medical pracgice I have ever worked in has always required neat, clean and professional dress... noone ever said anything about makeup.


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## melam (Mar 9, 2006)

all you really have to do is write up the whole conversation - and walk up to prizzy nursey and tell her you need her to sign it that you all had the discussion, as advised by your lawyer... if she refuses, then have someone else standing nearby that signs that she refused.. 

if you do have to walk - part of the "i won't sue you and make this public" (they LOVEEEE threats of newspapers/tvs being brought in).... will be that you're released from your contract -- and find another ortha

~Kygirl~


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## bowtechbuffy (Jul 3, 2007)

absolutecool said:


> I think it sucks, I hate makeup and I love my boss but if she told me I had to wear makeup we would have a serious conversation and it would probably end with me walking out the door...
> 
> I understand too that employers can fire without any reason, it is the same way at my job...it sucks but that is just the way it is.
> 
> ...


I have to admit, there are times when I do wear makeup, but it's very light, and I try to go for a natural look. The times when I do wear makeup are when I've gotten up earlier than ususal, or otherwise had the time to fool with it as I careen down the highway towards work. I rarely put on makeup at home before work. 

As for only having hunting "makeup", they know better, but it's a tempting idea.


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## bowtechbuffy (Jul 3, 2007)

I may be beating a dead horse with this, but I've researched the topic online this evening, and it AMAZES me how many people in this world think that women should wear makeup to "feel good about themselves" or to get ahead in the business world. I wonder how many men are expected to exfoliate, moisturize, tweeze, wax, and smear all kinds of goo all over themselves in the name of professionalism. NONE! Unless they are gigilos of course...:mg:


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## CountryWoman (Jul 24, 2006)

bowtechbuffy said:


> i may be beating a dead horse with this, but i've researched the topic online this evening, and it amazes me how many people in this world think that women should wear makeup to "feel good about themselves" or to get ahead in the business world. I wonder how many men are expected to exfoliate, moisturize, tweeze, wax, and smear all kinds of goo all over themselves in the name of professionalism. None! unless they are gigilos of course...:mg:


:spit::chortle:


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## 1DevineShooter (Apr 13, 2008)

I personally rarely wear makeup and oddly enough more often than not I do wear it when I am shooting. I recently started that because so many of us including me take pictures while we are shooting and I was sick of looking at pics of myself on AT looking terrible! LOL. When I put on makeup I wear a little bit of eye shadow, eye liner, and mascara but no foundation. I hardly ever wear make up any other time including work with the exception of special occasions (weddings, funerals, reunions, etc.) 

I have never worn make up at work at never had an employer that cared. I honestly think that if you feel strongly about it, you should request a meeting with your Dr. and let her know how you feel. Let them know that wearing makeup frequently tends to lead to breakouts that you really don't want to deal with and you really don't feel make up is necessary to perform your job well. Being "pretty" is not a requirement listed for the job. Other than that I would say get your resume ready and start job hunting. Anyone that is so shallow to request you wear makeup to work isn't worth working for and will stab you in the back with again down the line on some other asinine issue. Hang tough girl and keep us updated.


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## Recurve Artemis (Mar 6, 2008)

*Unbelievable...*

I would categorize that as a kind of harrassment. I don't like makeup that much myself, so I understand how you feel. However, I agree with what Tim said. There could be a different motive here. Don't let them control your emotions and future. YOU stay in control of the situation. YOU decide when it's convenient for you to leave the job - don't let them make you quit. If you quit, you don't get unemployment. You keep getting that ortho work until you're done. Continue to be nice and professional so that no one can say bad things about you. Throw on some big fat red lipstick before you get out of your car and give the Dr. a big fat smile walking into the office! Hang in there!


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## erictski (May 20, 2009)

That is definately some type of harrassment. I cant believe he can say that. It is just as bad as saying you need to lose weight to work there or something like that...


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## CricketKiller (Apr 30, 2009)

That really sucks! I know I probably would have reacted the same way but the bad thing is that in this economy it is hard to find a job so you hate to leave one even if it does mean working for a pain in the rear. I think you should do what you want to do. If it is that big of a deal to the Dr. then she should have manned up and told you about it herself.

Just remember--- Shooting your bow is a good way to relieve stress and it never hurts to picture your bosses face as a target! haha


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## PlainandTall (Jul 7, 2009)

I'm new, so I didn't know your avatar from before- did you just change it? Brilliant! I think that the Mimi approach would be a really funny way to make them reconsider... *I dare you!!*

That said- I just wanted to say that it's really common in jobs where you are the "first face" like a receptionist, sterwardess or hotel concierge to be expected or required to wear makeup. I'm not saying it's fair or right... I'm just saying it's common... and I don't think that you should take this personally. Obviously the request is upsetting enough to you... but I don't think you need to compound that with negative questions "why me?" and the awful memory of what the cruel boy said in high school! Don't do that to yourself! 

It was really spineless for the Dr. to make your co-worker do her dirty work. This should have been made clear when you applied for the job. 

I wonder if you can write off makeup as a work expense?

Sorry I don't have a good answer for you. 

-Sarah


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## XForce Girl (Feb 14, 2008)

*make-up*

please forgive me I didn't read all the posts so if this has already been said, I'm Sorry.

1. I really like the idea of the "MIMI" make-up.

2. Tell her you don't know how to put on make up or even own any. Then she can feel obligated to send you to the spa for a make-over at her expense.

My first response would be to be upset like you were, then I would get mad, now I would be looking for a way to get EVEN.

If she wants you to wear make-up let her foot the bill.

Marcy


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## bowtechbuffy (Jul 3, 2007)

Thanks everyone for all your support, outrage, and general girl power. I went to work today with the tinyest amount of mascara and a skim of chapstick on. It was just enough that you could tell I was wearing something, but only if you looked really hard. I was just waiting for someone to say some thing so I could whip out a tissue and wipe off some of the gunk to prove I was in compliance. Honestly, It felt kind of good to do it MY WAY, and not give in to their pettyness.


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## MiLyGo (Jun 3, 2009)

bowtechbuffy said:


> The times when I do wear makeup are when I've gotten up earlier than ususal, or otherwise had the time to fool with it as I careen down the highway towards work. I rarely put on makeup at home before work.


I'm the same way. I hate spending excess time putting on makeup, when it is hard enough for me to get to places on time with my regular (non-makeup) routine. Which is why I hardly ever wear it. There is just so much other stuff I could do with that time. I'm not saying that you should switch to makeup for work at all (I think that thier request is ridiculous), but if you are interested in applying some basic makeup faster, here is what I do. 

I have found that the easiest thing to do is to throw on a bit of lipstick in a soft color and then put on some mascara. Everyone looks madeup with mascara. (The best kind of mascara to get is the one in the pink and green bottle that you can get at the drug store... you don't need to spend a lot of money.) It takes 30 seconds and can be done in the parkinglot when you get to work or in your driveway before you start your commute. If you want to go to 45 seconds and step it up, smudge a TINY bit of lipstick on your thumb or index finger and rub it on your eyelids and the apples of your cheeks (make sure you lightly rub and blend the lipstick on your cheeks). Do this before the mascara or you will smear it. If you breakout easily, you may want to forgo this, as it can lead to breakouts since lipstick is oil based. I carry handiwipes in my car to clean the lipstick off of my thumb or index finger for just these occassions. It won't be the most artistic face, but its quick and easy in a pinch.  It has worked for me in the past for when I have evaluations and want a little something extra. I'm not a big fan of time consuming makeup myself. lol

If you ever want to learn more about applying makeup (I was so clueless when I first started and in many ways, I still am), you can get free instruction at a makeup counter at a mall/department store or if you have a local Sephora store. They will tell you what products/colors are best for your complexion and show you how to apply it. Of course, they will then try to sell you $200 worth of makeup... but you don't have to buy it. I usually just buy one product (like a lipstick or concealer).

Aside from that, keep up the good fight. As long as you are clean and tidy, you are meeting the requirements for most offices. I would rather deal with a receptionist that is clean, tidy, competent and cordial than one who is made up and "cutesy." If you do good work, that should be the end of the story. Best of luck.


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## CountryWoman (Jul 24, 2006)

bowtechbuffy said:


> Thanks everyone for all your support, outrage, and general girl power. I went to work today with the tinyest amount of mascara and a skim of chapstick on. It was just enough that you could tell I was wearing something, but only if you looked really hard. I was just waiting for someone to say some thing so I could whip out a tissue and wipe off some of the gunk to prove I was in compliance. Honestly, It felt kind of good to do it MY WAY, and not give in to their pettyness.


Sounds like a plan:thumb: Even if all you put on is Mascara . . .especially the curly lash kind it looks like you have on makeup :lol:


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## McStamper (Feb 25, 2009)

bowtechbuffy said:


> Thanks everyone for all your support, outrage, and general girl power. I went to work today with the tinyest amount of mascara and a skim of chapstick on. It was just enough that you could tell I was wearing something, but only if you looked really hard. I was just waiting for someone to say some thing so I could whip out a tissue and wipe off some of the gunk to prove I was in compliance. Honestly, It felt kind of good to do it MY WAY, and not give in to their pettyness.


Good for you!


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## Mali (Dec 20, 2008)

bowtechbuffy said:


> Thanks everyone for all your support, outrage, and general girl power. I went to work today with the tinyest amount of mascara and a skim of chapstick on. It was just enough that you could tell I was wearing something, but only if you looked really hard. I was just waiting for someone to say some thing so I could whip out a tissue and wipe off some of the gunk to prove I was in compliance. Honestly, It felt kind of good to do it MY WAY, and not give in to their pettyness.


I'm proud of you for doing this is your way and on your terms! If she's not going to specify that you have to wear clown makeup then what you are doing is within her "request" yet you still feel comfortable and you feel like yourself. Don't let them push you around! :blob1:


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## SCBIRDDOGMOMMA (Oct 11, 2007)

Yes...I probably do need to wear makeup BUT.....I'm 48 years young and NOBODY is going to tell me what to wear!!! Now if your boss wants to purchase it for you then she call tell you what to wear. I'm afraid the "*******" in me would come out if my boss did that!!!!


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## bowtechbuffy (Jul 3, 2007)

I swear, I'm going as MIMI for Halloween this year. I went as Larry the cable guy a few years back and it was absolutely perfect. The only way you could tell I was a girl was my french manicure I had at the time. I even bound up "the girls" and padded my belly a bit (didn't need that much help there!) and used a mason jar lid for my Skoal ring. It was so good, my boss kept asking who that guy was hanging around the office. 

She's got a rude awakening comign on halloween this year!


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## SCBIRDDOGMOMMA (Oct 11, 2007)

bowtechbuffy said:


> I swear, I'm going as MIMI for Halloween this year. I went as Larry the cable guy a few years back and it was absolutely perfect. The only way you could tell I was a girl was my french manicure I had at the time. I even bound up "the girls" and padded my belly a bit (didn't need that much help there!) and used a mason jar lid for my Skoal ring. It was so good, my boss kept asking who that guy was hanging around the office.
> 
> She's got a rude awakening comign on halloween this year!


You go girl!!!!


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## canam (Apr 2, 2003)

I'm proud of you! You go girl! :wav::wav::wav::wav:


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## Mrs.Bowhunter02 (Jul 8, 2009)

bowtechbuffy said:


> Okay ladies, I know this is COMPLETELY off topic, but I had a really rough day today and wanted to get some input on how I should react.
> 
> I work for a doctor as a receptionist/secretary and general office grunt. I go to work everyday in clean pressed scrubs (the required uniform), showered, with my hair brushed and styled neatly. I wear tasteful jewelry and rarely wear perfume since there are people there who have trouble with strong scents. I'm not the prettiest or the most feminine woman in the world, but I try to do my job to the best of my ability.
> 
> ...


Since I am currently attending school to be able to work in a doctor's office, I would find this to be VERY offensive! Why is the doctor actually so worried about whether you wear makeup or not? It is your personal choice to wear it or not. I'm sorry that it upset you, though. It would have upset me too! 

You should have went in the next day wearing so much makeup and asked, "Is this professional enough, Doctor?". Lol


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## edswench (Apr 26, 2009)

:wave3:Ok I have a senstivity to liquid makeup and with that being said all the years in an Insurance office and mortgage office the dress code was business casual and women had to have some light makeup usage for a business look I had always wore minimal.

Put on some light mascara and a light lip gloss and call it business casaul it worked for me and still does I now wear eyeshadow (light nude tones, eyeliner in brown(eyes are brown and only on bottom lid not top lid and brown black mascara no lipstick no foundation and I do Like my eyes better...
You need the benefits so you dont have to pay out of pocket and it is allowed for her to request this at least it was in my state so a few swipes of a nice mascara and a light lip gloss will work (bath and body works has more of a lip balm in a tube in peppermint and it is slightly shiny without being like barbie and it conditions the lips)

sorry you were upset or felt harrassed by the doc I would have been upset but I have never wore foundation and never got harrased to do so she should be happy with mascara and lip balm or gloss.. :angry:

Good luck


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## O'Gnaw (May 5, 2009)

K's boss (the archetype misogynist sexist nightmare - I kid you not) tried, a few years back, to tag that issue of wearing makeup on her, too!

Her response?

Bring in the framed TaeKwonDo 1st Dan certificate, and the Gunsite graduation certificate for Advanced Handgun and hang them on the wall right behind her chair.

Boss came in, stared at them, and turned, and slammed the door on his way out.

The subject never came up again.

She's since added her EMT certificate - the perception being that she can really put the hurt on anyone - and make darned sure they make it to the hospital.

Her boss's boss absolutely loves it, btw!

Never back down.


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## bowtechbuffy (Jul 3, 2007)

O'Gnaw said:


> K's boss (the archetype misogynist sexist nightmare - I kid you not) tried, a few years back, to tag that issue of wearing makeup on her, too!
> 
> Her response?
> 
> ...


They all know full well I could hurt them and hey'd never see it coming. I'm a certified range officer for the VA Dept of Game, I teach Hunter Education, survival skills, and archery, plus I've got numerous 3D titles under my belt. And I'm the LEAST feminine of all the women in the office.

Unfortunately, I work at a reception type desk, and there's no place to display certificates, photos of targets, or of me shooting my 44 mag with red dot scope. I wish I could show that one, it's priceless. I look like Dirty Harry!!


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## bowtechbuffy (Jul 3, 2007)

And the saga continues...

Today I was told that I am not supposed to blow my nose at the front desk. I have to get up, go to another room, blow my nose and then come back.

Seriously. I couldn't make this crap up.


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## 1DevineShooter (Apr 13, 2008)

OMG! Please tell me you have a resume prepared and are actively searching for a new place to work! This idiot is NOT worth all the stress and craziness. This is not the type of person that you want to be associated with.


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## sawtoothscream (Apr 19, 2008)

*WHAT? are you kidding me?*

im sorry but i wouldnt have acted so friendly. I probally would have told them to kiss my :mg:

what are they going to do fire you for not wearing make up? If i was in your shoes and they fired me for that i would sue them blind.

that is not right at all. and honestly it makes me mad to hear this. What are the just to dang perfect? Who are they to say you dont look good and not professional. i could see if you wore a really low cut shirt or something but not wearing make up? what does looking like a model have to do with your job?

total B.S. if you ask me. if your doing the job right that is all that should matter.


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## sawtoothscream (Apr 19, 2008)

bowtechbuffy said:


> And the saga continues...
> 
> Today I was told that I am not supposed to blow my nose at the front desk. I have to get up, go to another room, blow my nose and then come back.
> 
> Seriously. I couldn't make this crap up.


dude tell them to go to F them selves and find something else it isnt worth it. I would start looking for a new job istead of working for those idiots.


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## bowtechbuffy (Jul 3, 2007)

Hubby wants me to quit and be a stay at home mom. I'm real tempted right about now, but think I might try to wait it out a little longer... Christmas is right around the corner and I want to make sure that our son has a good one.


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## canam (Apr 2, 2003)

bowtechbuffy said:


> Hubby wants me to quit and be a stay at home mom. I'm real tempted right about now, but think I might try to wait it out a little longer... Christmas is right around the corner and I want to make sure that our son has a good one.


Girlfriend-
If I were thinking about quiting, it'd be a few weeks away. I wouldn' let them think they'd run me away. That would be quitting on your own terms! 

Hey- I want to see your pic with the 44 magnum like you mentioned above. You cna feel free to post it here. 

Hang in there! Remember you have US.


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## MN_Chick (Jul 13, 2008)

bowtechbuffy said:


> And the saga continues...
> 
> Today I was told that I am not supposed to blow my nose at the front desk. I have to get up, go to another room, blow my nose and then come back.
> 
> Seriously. I couldn't make this crap up.


In a doctors office? Absolutely. And then wash your hands before you come back. I worked the registration desk in an emergency room, and that is how I always did it.

Would you want to walk in, have the receptionist blow her nose and then immediately hand you paperwork with those hands? People today are terrified of germs. It's sort of like blowing your nose at the dinner table- just not really appropriate.

I would have blown the make up thing off, but this one I have always followed.


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## canam (Apr 2, 2003)

Buffy probably felt more sensitive about being told this because of the way those girls were the other day. Sometimes, it's not what you say but how you say it. I always keep hand sanitizer on my desk in case I sneeze and make sure that students see me use it.


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## MN_Chick (Jul 13, 2008)

canam said:


> Buffy probably felt more sensitive about being told this because of the way those girls were the other day. Sometimes, it's not what you say but how you say it. I always keep hand sanitizer on my desk in case I sneeze and make sure that students see me use it.


That's sort of what I meant. People will make comments on how you present yourself and act at your job. Some of it will be helpful feedback you should use, some of it won't. Don't take it personally. Simply consider it, see if its worthwhile or not and move on. 

If a coworker makes suggestions, its ok to say "I don't think that is a good idea for me." But do consider them fairly. Don't let it upset you enough to cry or quit. Stand up straight, respond honestly and calmly, and continue with your day. You are who you are, they are who they are. They don't have to be content with who you are, but you most definately should be.


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## canam (Apr 2, 2003)

Well said MN.


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## bowtechbuffy (Jul 3, 2007)

MN_Chick said:


> In a doctors office? Absolutely. And then wash your hands before you come back. I worked the registration desk in an emergency room, and that is how I always did it.
> 
> Would you want to walk in, have the receptionist blow her nose and then immediately hand you paperwork with those hands? People today are terrified of germs. It's sort of like blowing your nose at the dinner table- just not really appropriate.
> 
> I would have blown the make up thing off, but this one I have always followed.


Okay, I ALWAYS use hand sanitizer whenever I sneeze, blow my nose, etc. it's just common courtesy. I am well aware of the possibility of germ transmittal, that's why I wipe my desk down with sanitizing wipes several times a day. You wouldn't believe the number of snotty nosed adults who wipe their noses on the back of their hand and then try to give me a check for payment on their account. It's disgusting. I'm not the type to do that to anyone else. Period. 

My point was this, what am I supposed to do if I'm in the middle of waiting on a patient and I have to blow my nose? sit there snorting and sniffling, or worse with stuff running out of my nose, or should I quickly blow my nose in a tissue (actually I use several every time to avoid leakage), use the hand sanitizer that is on my desk and then go back to help them? The idea that I'm supposed to get up, go to another room, blow my nose, sanitize my hands, and then go back to my patient is ridiculous. It's not good time management, nor is it good patient relations. It tells the patient that they are not important to me, that blowing my nose in another room is my only concern. When I do it quickly and as discreetly as possible, sanitize my hands _in front of them so they can see that I've done it_, and then continue helping them, it shows them that I want to give them my full attention, and that I care about their well being.


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## CricketKiller (Apr 30, 2009)

You may have already answered this, but how long have you been at the job? If you've been there for years and they are just now starting to nit-pick everything I would be mad but if I've just started and these are the rules everyone follows then it might be a bit different.


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## SLG2 (Feb 16, 2008)

Camo is makeup - probably not appropriate, but it was the first thing that came to mind! Hang in there1


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## huntfish25 (May 29, 2004)

I agree to keep a book. Make sure you keep it up to date. Dont only write down the bad but write down the good. Put dates, time and the person you was talking to. Make sure they put everthing in writing. You should send her a e-mail about this issue. Asked her how she want you to look like. Dont worry aboutthem know you keeping notes. Make a copy of the e-amil you sedn and what she say. Matter fact take you book into the office and write down what she tell you. Keep every thingwrite down. 

I had a problem with my job one boss tells me one thing another tells me another. When they found out i was keeping notes they made sure they tell me what they want and never question me.

I do feel a owner can asked you do anything that helps there bunesse but if you was hired looking one way they can not force you change. 

Keep note and take notes is one way to back them up


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## bowtechbuffy (Jul 3, 2007)

CricketKiller said:


> You may have already answered this, but how long have you been at the job? If you've been there for years and they are just now starting to nit-pick everything I would be mad but if I've just started and these are the rules everyone follows then it might be a bit different.


I've been here 2 1/2 years now. The nit-picking just makes a circuit around the office to different individuals at different times. Guess it's my turn. 

Have decided to just let it go, wear as little make up as I can get away with, be sickeningly sweet to everyone int he office, and wait until the nit-picking person is at her, and stand behind her to blow my nose, as her desk area is the most convenient place for me to go when I need to blow. :angel:


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## canam (Apr 2, 2003)

I went to my dentist yesterday and took inventory. The girl at the front desk had very light make-up on. She wasn't painted up. She was regular. My hygenist had eyeliner and mascara, lightly put on. It accented her eyes. (I was getting a cleaning, so I had time to notice, lol) 

I have thought about going to our local Merle Norman and getting somebody to show me how to apply make-up. My reasoning is to hide my crows feet, lol. When I was younger, I used Mary Kay and loved it, but I hate the "ritual". For te record, I apply make-up when I am going to a wedding, funeral or important "function" As for work, when I know I have a tough parent conference coming, I dress differently and apply my "war paint" in anticipation.


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