# I don't get it....



## wera262 (Oct 10, 2006)

Is he afraid you'll show him up?? 

My wife shoots with me all the time, bows and guns, and i love it when she does well or even beats me.....it makes me proud.


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## Horses&Hunting (Oct 10, 2007)

Hes scared you might show him up. Just go out and do your thing and if he doesn't like it say oh well. If he doesn't want to talk to you about anything that involves hunting. You can come here, we all can talk to you about it. Men are men some love there better half going with and some hate the idea of it. If it was me I would say well I met this guy/girl at the shop that love to talk to me about hunting. So I'm going to go there and hang out and talk some hunting. lol. That will strike a nerve I'm sure.


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## buckeye_girl (Nov 1, 2008)

I dunno wish I could help but I know I'd be hurt and mad. Have you confronted him about it?


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## SavageHuntress (Feb 24, 2009)

That was the biggest reason for me to join AT. I had seen ads in one of my magizines & thought I would check it out. I'm glad I did. It just stinx when the person you live with likes hunting as much as you do but doesn't want to be involved. I did make arrangements with the local pro shop to start turtor classes & they have womens groups there. I will be there twice a week now. I have never been a chauvinistic person & I don't put up with people treating me that way & I don't go around with that "whatever he can do so can I" attitude either. I'm pretty laid back & try not to push the issue, I just don't get it.


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## Horses&Hunting (Oct 10, 2007)

Good idea sounds like you are going to have alot of fun doing that. Have you sat him down and told him how you feel about it? What does his buddies think about the hes he is treating you? If they are all for it then I would say talk to them and tell them how he is treating you. Maybe they could talk to him about it. Sometimes men listen to there buddies more than there gf.


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## SavageHuntress (Feb 24, 2009)

I think that may be where the problem lies. His Buddies are very chauvinistic guys, I am not allowed to go over snd shoot skeet or target practice because It's a guy thing. I am on my own here and that's a challenging thing for a girl who dosen't know any other girl that like to hunt.


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## SavageHuntress (Feb 24, 2009)

Horses&Hunting said:


> Have you sat him down and told him how you feel about it? QUOTE]
> 
> I get the silent treatment - He never has an answer for me.


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## mgoose (Feb 18, 2009)

*boyfriend won't hunt*

Most of us guys wish our girls would hunt with us! Maybe you need to trade him in? My girlfriend doesn't hunt, but scouts with me a LOT, has helped me hang stands, has helped drag in more than one deer, helped skin it and does most of the processing after I/we quarter it. dunno what you need to tell the guy, but you are an ITEM!


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## absolutecool (Mar 26, 2006)

Just sounds like he doesn't want you with him....I won't say anymore cause I don't want to step on anyones toes....but I do think is sucks...

My husband has told me that I am his favorite person to hunt with, he doesnt' want to hunt with anyone else....that almost made me cry. It took him a long time to get me to hunt and shoot with him. Now it is our best times together.

I am sure you can find someone to hunt with...


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## scottnorthwest (Mar 9, 2009)

Hope you do not mind a mans view. My wife does not hunt and I am glad. It is my time to be alone or with the boys. I love her more than anything on the planet but I also like my time. She has things she does where I am not invited even though I would have enjoyed the activity. That is fine.

Maybe that is one thing he wants to himself, I really do not think that is too much to ask. I am sure it would not be hard for you to find a good partner and get some good hunting in on your own.


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## Horses&Hunting (Oct 10, 2007)

Scott thats the thing, he won't even talk to her about it. What type of person does that to someone they love? Yeah that just could be his time. But not to take the time to help her with her guns, bows, or just talk, or anything is just wrong. I'm glad shes getting involved with groups and all. That away someone will be there to help her and answer any questions she might have.


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## scottnorthwest (Mar 9, 2009)

I agree he should just let her know why, but he obviously is not going to budge on it. I guess the thread would then turn to why would you stay with a man who does not want to share your interests? Or why is it so important that he share this with you? Or why is it so important that you be in on this part of his life?

For some reason he feels his hunting is something he does not want to share. Maybe he just does not want to come out and say, "I do not want to hunt with you".


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## SavageHuntress (Feb 24, 2009)

I would understand if he just wanted to go & get away - But he does it all the time anyway. Neither of us has kids, I have spent every weekend alone, (Well not anymore) while he hangs out with his bud's - I never complain when they come over and try to put up with their jokes. I think he is being selfish.


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## scottnorthwest (Mar 9, 2009)

I guess the question then becomes is this the relationship for you? 

Sadly, it may be what he wants, which is not what you want.

As others have said, many guys would want a girlfriend who hunts.


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## stans806 (Sep 5, 2008)

Just one more unsolicited opinion from a male perspective; your boyfriend is immature (and, yes selfish, which goes with immaturity). I'm no adviser by any means, but just so you know, there are lots of men out there who would give anything to be involved with a lady who was interested in hunting with them.


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## SavageHuntress (Feb 24, 2009)

Sadly enough, that question has already run thru my head about this relationship, maybe I need to open my eyes & really take a good look at this. I think it is great to hear some of the other women here talking how their significant other has supported them in hunting, practice & purchasing gear. You gal's are really lucky to have someone by your side thru it all.


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## absolutecool (Mar 26, 2006)

SavageHuntress said:


> Sadly enough, that question has already run thru my head about this relationship, maybe I need to open my eyes & really take a good look at this. I think it is great to hear some of the other women here talking how their significant other has supported them in hunting, practice & purchasing gear. You gal's are really lucky to have someone by your side thru it all.


I think with this post you have answered your own questions about the relationship. I wonder how many men have lost a woman because of her interest to hunt with him...seems like the shoe is on the other foot here.


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## Horses&Hunting (Oct 10, 2007)

Hey where is dragon shes from missouri. Maybe you gals can go hunting together if ya don't live to far.


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## 09hoytkatera (Feb 16, 2009)

*Taking you along*

What the heck, I have been into the outdoors and hunting for as long as I can remember. My daughter (who is 10) loves to hunt and ice fish. Her first trip on the ice was when she was 7 months old. No she doesn't remember it but she has been ice fishing for Northern Pike as long as she can remember. I just bought her a Hoyt Kobalt so she can hunt in the 2010 season for big game. She wants to try to get a Spring Gobbler next month. I have tried everything to get her mom (my girlfriend) to go with us. She wants no part of it. Your boyfriend is wasting a perfect opportunity to share great times with you. HIS loss but you are missing out too due to his lack of interest.


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## mainehunt (Sep 11, 2006)

Consider this, when he goes "hunting," he really isn't hunting.

I had a friend that would never let his girlfriend go hunting or fishing with him because half the time, he was off in the bars picking up women.

BTW- I would give my left foot to have my wife go hunting with me. She supports me and has no problem with me going. 

So, like another guy told you, YOU are an item. Lose this guy and get someone who will appreciate you for who you really are.


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## ~Tara~ (Apr 16, 2007)

You're awsome, find someone that will support you and talk openly with you about what you love to do!! Seriously, it's not like you are asking him to go to the mall and watch you try on dresses. It's freaking hunting for goodness sakes!! LOL I'm sure there are 1000's of men would love to have you as their hunting buddy


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## easyeriq (Feb 10, 2008)

My wife showed some interest last year to go hunting, I told her you need to get your hunting certificate-took the course, told her you need something to hunt with-picked out a bow for her birthday, Now that we have a 4 month old, she is a little more preoccupied, but has interest. When I go hunting, I ask if she wants to go, if she wants to stay home or do something else, fine or if she wants to go with me fine. Her choice. I help her when she wants. Sure shooting with the guys is fun, but so is shooting with the wife. She almost shoots better than me. Good luck, many fish in a small pond to settle on algae.


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## JAG (May 23, 2006)

i'm thinking "just how much do you like this guy?" 

if it were me, he'd be history.


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## ecm (Oct 7, 2005)

stans806 said:


> Just one more unsolicited opinion from a male perspective; your boyfriend is immature (and, yes selfish, which goes with immaturity). I'm no adviser by any means, but just so you know, there are lots of men out there who would give anything to be involved with a lady who was interested in hunting with them.


Bingo. stans got it right.


You ought to find yourself a kick-arse lease and tell him he can't hunt it, then find a MAN that wants to spend time outdoors with you.


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## SavageHuntress (Feb 24, 2009)

You all have been GREAT! Thank you very much for your comments, you have brighted my day. At least I know I'm not crazy for thinking that relationship is at a stalemate although I fell bad for thinking that it is the truth & I guess I need to do something about it. I do know this - I LOVE to fish & hunt, I can clean & process my own and I can cook up one heck of a deer loin that will melt in your mouth, I wouldn't ever kill anything that I wouldn't eat. I am not about to give up on hunting & fishing that's for sure! That's a great idea about the lease, I like it.


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## MObowhunter9653 (Oct 16, 2006)

Totally unsolicited opinion from a guy here. I think(and this IMO) he might not want you hunting or shooting with him because a) He think's you'll show him up infront of his buddies or b) he's not hunting, at least not the 4 legd kind of animals anyway. 

My father used to go"trout fishing" with his buddies and brothers every year, even though my mother always wanted to go(she LOVES to fish), she was not allowed. It turns out it was because they spent more time in the bar hunting two-legged things than out fishing.

Maybe I'm just cynical, who knows. But I for one would love it if a woman I was dating enjoyed hunting, or just shooting with me. Like I said just my opinion and .02 cents


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## wera262 (Oct 10, 2006)

SavageHuntress said:


> I think that may be where the problem lies. His Buddies are very chauvinistic guys, I am not allowed to go over snd shoot skeet or target practice because It's a guy thing. I am on my own here and that's a challenging thing for a girl who dosen't know any other girl that like to hunt.


Ummmmm.....it may be the friends. He don't want to stand up to 'em about you being part of anything.

It is very true that most men like their time with the guys....I may be weird because i can't imagine feeling that way.


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## SavageHuntress (Feb 24, 2009)

I already know about a few occasions that he was supposed to be hunting and turns out he was at the bars, but what can I say - I don't have a ring on my finger - he's over 21. But I guess if he has to lie to me about where he is going, there are other lies out there too.


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## wera262 (Oct 10, 2006)

~Tara~ said:


> You're awsome, find someone that will support you and talk openly with you about what you love to do!! Seriously, it's not like you are asking him to go to the mall and watch you try on dresses. It's freaking hunting for goodness sakes!! LOL I'm sure there are 1000's of men would love to have you as their hunting buddy


I'm thinking I agree....sounds like your total awesomeness is not being appreciated :nixon:


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## SavageHuntress (Feb 24, 2009)

Thank You!


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## absolutecool (Mar 26, 2006)

SavageHuntress said:


> I already know about a few occasions that he was supposed to be hunting and turns out he was at the bars, but what can I say - I don't have a ring on my finger - he's over 21. But I guess if he has to lie to me about where he is going, there are other lies out there too.


There ya go sister.....that is your answer!!


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## MObowhunter9653 (Oct 16, 2006)

As they say on another forum I frequent I think it's time for you to hit the eject button and kick him to the curb. He sound like someone who is taking you for granted and does not appreciate just how good he's got it. And coming from a guy that's saying a lot IMHO.


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## alpinebowoman (Mar 5, 2008)

Wow!! 

My husband hunted the first year we were married, and then after the season was over, he started shooting at the different archery shops, I would go and watch, and then I showed some interest and the rest is history! 

My husband tells me it is so fun to hunt/shoot/practice w/ me. 

It just amazes me that he won't be a part of it, when you both have the same likes. 
Maybe you just need to get your own girlfriends, go out and go hunting with them and go to the local shoots. :shade:

Either that....or do some reconsidering, as awful as that is. I have talked to many men, who tell me how cool it is that I am out there with all the guys shooting & tearin' it up! :darkbeer:

And the fact that you clean your own kill!! That is awesome!! :mg: I get out of that most of the time! 

Good luck in what ever your decision you decide to make. 
Keep us posted!
:star:


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## scottnorthwest (Mar 9, 2009)

Well, if he is at the bar this isn't a hunting issue.........I agree, it is a maturity issue. If he just wanted hunting to be his thing I would get it, but to say your doing one thing and do another is dishonest.


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## SavageHuntress (Feb 24, 2009)

I love tearin' it up with my guns and after this weekend shooting the Kobalt for the first time, I NEEEEEED a bow, he he. I know I am going to like this so much. 
I don't mind the clean up part, I am quite particular how my meat is processed anyway. 
Thank you for the post.


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## athomPT (Dec 14, 2008)

*Don't know whatcha got, till its' goin*

I'd say he is either selfish or trying to satisfy his buddies. Either way you should find a group or hunting club and do your own thing. I wouldn't say anything else to him about hunting. Just continue to do it for you own enjoyment & pleasure. That way if he comes on board great, if not it won't sway you from fulfilling your sport either.


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## SavageHuntress (Feb 24, 2009)

I think he is being selfish, egotistic and childish!


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## scmelik (Nov 20, 2008)

that sucks that you bf won't take the time to teach you and doesn't want you to be part of it. Personally that is what I have always wanted in a girl was one that enjoyed the outdoors and was at least willing to try shooting and hunting. Make your way up north to South Dakota I am looking for a new hunting partner .

Like others have suggested I would just find someone else to go with you and leave him at home.


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## wera262 (Oct 10, 2006)

Hey...we could start you a speed dating thread....no, no a "The Bachelorette" thread....:nixon:


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## lojo (Mar 13, 2009)

Well, here's my thoughts. If he won't share his reasons with you or give you any kind of explanation about this, then maybe there is some deeper issue going on here. If you've tried for years now, then chances are that particular issue is not going to get better. I mean, my husband encouraged me to go into archery and to hunt and fish. I was a city girl to the hilt 28 years ago. now I hunt, fish, and shoot 3d (although I'm still new at the 3d) and our time spent together is more precious than anything. I feel your disappointment and pain at him not wanting to share this with you. Couples need to share things and have alone time too. it really boils down to a couple of choices. Either you have a great relationship and you just find a way around this issue or you don't have a great relationship and this is just one symptom of it. Hope I've helped you think about it a little.


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## TlockTerror (Mar 3, 2009)

I love when my wife goes with me!! It is a great time and makes some everlasting memories in the field!! Also because it seems like i always shoot a buck when she is there!:set1_thinking:


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## Admiral Vixen (Feb 21, 2009)

unfair to you...Ditch him, Better fish out there. So what r u waiting for??? Go catch a good one.


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## attak (Dec 25, 2008)

That seems kind of strange . My wife dosnt hunt ,she likes fishing. I was excited to show her things i see when im outside, mother nature is amazing. You should enjoy the time together, lifes too short. She makes me laugh ,when she catches a fish shes like a little kid. Ive been married for 17 years and i enjoy our time together. I hope your boyfriend realizes what he has and dosnt blow a good thing.


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## robbies baby (Jun 18, 2008)

scottnorthwest said:


> I guess the question then becomes is this the relationship for you?
> 
> Sadly, it may be what he wants, which is not what you want.
> 
> As others have said, many guys would want a girlfriend who hunts.


males are very domanit and thay think what's theirs is theirs they are like a pack of femal lions proteting their cubs but with men it hunting mine was the same way but i agrivated him enough that he just got fed up with it and helped me


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## Skiminims (Mar 21, 2009)

I'm sorry to hear about the problems you're having with your b/f. I'm lucky enough to have a husband who enjoys what he does and likes me being involved in it so we have something we can do together. 

My husband has hunted since he was 12 years old. Before I met him I think I had only been hunting 1 time. He made sure that if I didn't want to do it, I didn't have to, but I wanted to be involved and spend time with him. He didn't have a problem with it. He loves being out in the woods. That's his time. I've only hunted with him twice (killed a deer once!), but that's only because we had a son and he takes up a lot of my time.  

Now we're getting into doing 3-D shoots and went to one together last weekend. I didn't have a bow, but I kept score for him and we both had a blast. I just got my bow today and I look forward to the next shoot. 

All I can really tell you is, if you're into it and love what you do, then screw him! Keep doing it for you, not to please him. There are plenty of men out there who would love to share it with their wives or girlfriends, and I guarantee there are some women out there who know more about it than men do!

I'm not sure where in MO you're at, but you're more than welcome to come shoot with us!


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## varmicon_qa (Mar 12, 2009)

This subject is a real bummer...You sound like a fantastic woman and should have someone that wants to share everything with you. My wife started hunting with me way way way back when we where dating. It has never stopped. Our kids absolutely LOVE going hunting with us now. None of them have wanted to harvest anything at this point but that day will come soon enough. 

As far as his "guy friends" being jerks...birds of a feather. The guys on my deer lease love it when my wife can make it. She can even make some of them blush from time to time! You should be able to experience these same things. 

BTW, some guys can be absolute dogs. I am glad to say I'm not one and neither are the handful of close friends that I associate myself with. If he is lying about going hunting and is at bars instead, i'd bet my next paycheck there is more that you may not know. Sounds like a "come to jesus" talk with your boyfriend is in order. But this is your life and your relationship and none of us know the whole story about you two. 

Wish you the best of luck...

ps. Can you try and get my wife to clean her own game??? LOL


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## Guest (Mar 21, 2009)

scottnorthwest said:


> Hope you do not mind a mans view. My wife does not hunt and I am glad. *It is my time to be alone or with the boys*. I love her more than anything on the planet but I also like my time. She has things she does where I am not invited even though I would have enjoyed the activity. That is fine.
> 
> Maybe that is one thing he wants to himself, I really do not think that is too much to ask. I am sure it would not be hard for you to find a good partner and get some good hunting in on your own.


I think this is probally the case as well. Why he can not talk to you about it and tell you, who knows.... Stick with it and find some other females in your area to hunt with!


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## SavageHuntress (Feb 24, 2009)

You all have been great - thank you for all of the comments. All I know is that this morning I am going out to order my new bow (Yes, by myself) - I am very excited about this and I know I'm already hooked. Once it's official, I will have a new signature. At least I know when I come back with it, you all will talk to me about it. Thanx agian for everyone's imput.


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## book85 (Jul 14, 2008)

I thought I read you shot a Kobalt. Its a good choice. My gf loves it. I bought her one last year for her birthday. Its a fast little bow. I dont think you'll be dissapointed with that choice at all.


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## horseauthority (Mar 13, 2009)

OK, I think after reading most of the posts, you have all the answers right in front of you!!!! I am one of those special women who do things that her man does and I love it. All of my husbands friends tell him he is so lucky to have me. It makes him and me feel good. I can some what understand him wanting alone time, but he sure does not know what he has that is about to slip away. Look, your mate should be your best friend. Best friends share almost everything. If he is showing all these other signs to you already, that should tell you something. Just my opinion, RUN, RUN as fast as you can and catch someone else who appreciates who you are and wants to be with you. Go and find your best friend! Just take a look at the future and imagine it the way it will be. Remember things change over the years and what you are seeing is only the surface. I could go on, but you get the point. My husband and I have been married for 22 years and we still do most everything together and with our kids. That is what it is all about!!!

Good Luck and keep shooting,


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## McStamper (Feb 25, 2009)

Admiral Vixen said:


> unfair to you...Ditch him, Better fish out there. So what r u waiting for??? Go catch a good one.


I totally agree!


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## wh1 (Feb 17, 2009)

Agree with the last poster. Confront him about the real reason he doesnt want you out there with him or just accept it and move on. There are plenty of guys out there who want to find a woman who hunts and shoots as well as they do. 
Personally one of my favorite things is watching my wife shoot tournaments. Nothing sexier than watching her shoot and give me that little smile when she puts them all in the x ring. She was shooting archery before we met and she convinced me to start. I am a lifelong hunter and I have the best hunting partner in the world, HER!!! She cleans her own too and we eat everything we shoot. We have a new German Shorthair pup and I am looking forward to the first time she points/retrieves a bird that Karen has shot. Argument will be who gets the first shot. Best kind IMHO!


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## kimmiedawn (Jun 26, 2006)

I did not hunt til I meet my husband, he had hunted his whole life. When we were dating he missed 1 deer season and the next yr his dad told him to get me into hunter safty class cuz I was going huntin whether I liked it or not. I hunted that yr and the next with them, then we lost his dad.. And now, 13 yrs later the hubby and I are still huntin together. We started out with rifles, then started muzzle loading together and then about 11 yrs ago we got into archery together, 1st to just hunt and now we hunt and shoot competitions too. I have told him many times that if he doesnt want me to go to just tell me, but he says he wants me there, and now I am out there with our daughter. I dont understand why if you are showin an interest in it he is turnin you away, it doesnt make any sence to me...:embara:


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## MN_Chick (Jul 13, 2008)

SavageHuntress said:


> I think that may be where the problem lies. His Buddies are very chauvinistic guys, I am not allowed to go over snd shoot skeet or target practice because It's a guy thing. I am on my own here and that's a challenging thing for a girl who dosen't know any other girl that like to hunt.



What is that saying? Birds of a feather flock together? If he is hanging out with them, the chances are he IS one of them.



SavageHuntress said:


> You all have been GREAT! Thank you very much for your comments, you have brighted my day. At least I know I'm not crazy for thinking that relationship is at a stalemate although I fell bad for thinking that it is the truth & I guess I need to do something about it. I do know this - I LOVE to fish & hunt, I can clean & process my own and I can cook up one heck of a deer loin that will melt in your mouth, I wouldn't ever kill anything that I wouldn't eat. I am not about to give up on hunting & fishing that's for sure! That's a great idea about the lease, I like it.


Do you have ANY idea how many great men would scoop you up in a heartbeat? A lot of men really appreciate women who share their interests and have fun- as opposed to a woman who shares none of themand sits home angry and nagging at him all the time. Some men seem to think a wife is a maid and nanny, not someone to have fun with. 



MObowhunter9653 said:


> Totally unsolicited opinion from a guy here. I think(and this IMO) he might not want you hunting or shooting with him because a) He think's you'll show him up infront of his buddies or b) he's not hunting, at least not the 4 legd kind of animals anyway.
> 
> My father used to go"trout fishing" with his buddies and brothers every year, even though my mother always wanted to go(she LOVES to fish), she was not allowed. It turns out it was because they spent more time in the bar hunting two-legged things than out fishing.



DING DING DING DING DING.. give the man a prize.




SavageHuntress said:


> I already know about a few occasions that he was supposed to be hunting and turns out he was at the bars, but what can I say - I don't have a ring on my finger - he's over 21. But I guess if he has to lie to me about where he is going, there are other lies out there too.


If its bad now, wait till you are married someday. I only gets worse. Get one who treats you with honesty and respect now, because he won't develop any later on.

Ok, I missed the first couple of days of this post because my guy and I were out of town at a shoot.. yes, together. What I can offer in terms of advise is to find a reputable pro shop near you, or archery club. If you ordered your bow from a dealer, start there. Set yourself up with a lesson or two, then join a club or go shoot a the pro shop. Get to know people- most will be very friendly, especially to a woman there alone. Tips and pointers should flow freely.

You will be amazed at what you can pick up there- do not be afriad to ask questions. If you can join a league, do that. It will be a great way to get to know other people who DO want to hunt and fish with you (guys or chicks)and also a way to really learn a lot quickly.


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## Bowdon (Aug 17, 2004)

Back the 70's I had a friend come to me and ask if could help his new wife to shoot. I did that winter and got her shooting great. That next fall they went to CO. and she killed a big bull and he didn't get one. She killed a big 150 inch buck that year too. He shot a smaller buck that year. The next year they were devoiced


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## Sarah (Jan 21, 2009)

Is your boyfriend not supportive of you in other ways too? or is hunting the ONLY thing he is weird about? you don't need to answer that question here, but your answer can help you decide how to handle things. If he supports all of your other quirks and is patient and loving even if he doesn't always agree, then maybe you want to let it slide as one of his quirks. But if he acts similarly in other situations, then you might have some thinking to do about him.


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## LadyBowtech (Feb 12, 2009)

here is what I would do, for one drop him, if he loves you he should want you involved, My husband and I met by having a common interest (karate) and then we shot pistol together, and then rifle, then for christmas last year I bought him a bow, then in february he bought me one, and we started shooting 3-d together. This Christmas I bought him a Bowtech Captain and He bought me the same in target color. There is not one shoot that we dont go to together. If he does not want you to shoot or hunt with him, find some ladies to go with, I know there is alot out there, and form your owm hunting/shooting team. Dont let him hold you back!!!!


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## Buksknr53 (Mar 30, 2006)

I would love to find a good woman who is interested in hunting and fishing with me. Some men let their ego get in the way and don't want a female showing them up. I have to admit that I have learned a lot about fishing, and archery from women who were really good at it. Heck, a girlfriend walked me through my first attempt at tuning up my car many years ago.
I met a woman last year who dropped her boyfriend like a hot potato when he refused to take her fishing with him. He had a nice bass boat, but didn't like the fact that she was a better fisherman than he. The woman said that she had been fishing with her dad ever since she was big enough to hold a fishing rod.


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## SpOtFyRe (Apr 9, 2007)

Glad to hear your boy-toy hasn't turned you off your interest.

Out of all this the biggest thing that came out to me was the fact that he said to you at one point he was out hunting ... when really he was at the bar.

It's one thing for him to want to keep his "man-time" - it's another thing to *lie* about stuff. To me a healthy relationship has lots of time together and options for times apart too ... but to lie ... and have dishonesty in it? That's just plain unreasonable!!!


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## LLove (Jul 27, 2008)

sooooooooo..?

single yet? cause you pretty much should be.. 

bars aside if hes that un-supportive in something he enjoys.. theres no way he'll ever be supportive of something you're interested in that he doesn't care about.


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## Skeeterbait (Feb 13, 2009)

Another view from a guy (a old guy) I have always been picky on who shared my camp, and have hunted, fished and shot with many over the years. I have been lucky and have the best partner I could ever ask for. We have worn out a lot of boot leather together hiking, scouting, hunting or just kicking back in the woods or on a high mountain lake some where, it is our time together I don't have to be out with the guys I would rather be with my partner and later this year we'll have been married 38 years.

Darlin there are guys out there that would give eye teeth to have someone like you, someone to share what you like to do.


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## gamecooker (Feb 23, 2009)

Well did you order your new bow yet?  I ordered a bow on the 14th of this month (finally haha) and can't wait to get my hands on it.
I don't think you will have any problem with finding people to shoot with, so go have some fun!

The biggest problem I see you having is not being able to talk to your boyfriend and him with you. Your not married but I still don't think thats good. What will happen when you both do need to talk and over something more serious than him not welcoming you into his world...and there will be a time. If you can't talk now (or he won't),,,you won't be able to work anything out later and that can be bad down the road.
Big decisions for you to make,, don't sell yourself short


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## SavageHuntress (Feb 24, 2009)

Yes, I ordered my bow - Hoyt Kobalt - Vital Gear Triangle - Angular 3-Pin Sight - Omega Hostage Rest (Waiting for May to get that) and Carbon Express Arrows. This thread has been really a bit more that I exspected. Thank you all for you comments once again, I can not thank you enough for the brutal honesty - I'll say that I have been wearing blinders for many of years and had no idea that there were that many men who think it really is cool for their gal to be in the field with them. I think I may have thrown my blinders out the window Saturday comming home from the Pro-Shop, oopps! - This is going to be fun - other that waiting for the bow to come in.


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## cornbread542 (Aug 4, 2005)

I wish my wife would show some interest in hunting. Dump his arse and find someone that wants to spend time with you.


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## dsal (Dec 24, 2008)

I wish my wife would tag along with me, she just has no intrest. I have tried to get her to come along, but no luck, so i will not force it on her anymore.I would love to have her come along, think it would be a way to spend more quality time together.But like i said cant force her, just as long as she dont try to stop me from doing what i enjoy, it wont be a problem.
Unfortunatly your boyfriend does enjoy to hunt, but not with you, Thats a problem.Think you should have a talk with him and tell him to grow up.
Just my two cents.


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## ZBWB (Mar 15, 2009)

I understand your pain...I do. Hubby used to not want me to go with him...although he'd take me, but I didn't have a bow...he did...and I was merely a tag along. He never acted like he flat out didn't want me, but I detected he didn't...so wouldn't go. I went a couple of times. Now though..after 22 years of marriage...I have just now gotten into archery...he's been shooting for 17 years. Last night, we had a shoot out...I beat him twice...he was grinning from ear to ear...but yet ego was a bit bruised I think, but I know he is still happy for me I shoot well. We are looking into a ground blind to hunt from together...and he is SO excited. 

I think "some" of this may be age...you sound young...are you? Sometimes the younger men...just like with my hubby "back when we were first married"....they are real into "guys are guys...girls are girls"..."guys do guy things..girls do girl things"...it's just how some of them are made. You should just really leave him alone about it...maybe one last time "gently" tell him that you'd love it if he were interested in more "togetherness" when it comes to the sport you both love so much...and if he still rejects you...then join groups and just go with friends. I wouldn't go alone though...show him that if HE doesn't want you with him...that other's do...that will intrigue him into realizing that he could lose YOUR interest in hunting with "him"!!!!

I'm sorry for you...I know that has to really sting for him to just show NO interest in you in a mutually loved sport.

Oh and edit to add:....now, my hubby is SO excited that I am into archery with him...he couldn't wait for us to pick up my bow and we went Saturday to Bass Pro shops and bought me a new Tru Glo sight, and stabilizer and Scott single caliber release!!!!!...I'm pumped! He is already planning our hunting trips and said he wants me with him EVERY time now! Just be patient...your man may change his mind and attitude with time. Since you aren't "married" to this man...I'm sort of with the guy above....dump him if he doesn't...and find someone to share your life with....your life is the things you enjoy too...you don't want to have to share your best times with someone else.


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## LoneEagle0607 (Jan 15, 2008)

*You see the red flags*



absolutecool said:


> There ya go sister.....that is your answer!!


Get rid of this guy and find someone who will appreciate and love you for who you are. You already see the red flags indicating serious problems. Please don't waste your time and emotions on a dead end relationship. As a woman that has been there and done that. Please move on to happier venues in life. You sound like too wonderful a woman to be tied to someone who does not have your best interest in mind.


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## camocarnivore (May 11, 2008)

well, as an avid hunter who begs his wife to hunt with him i can feel you on this one.i get the same thing just different side.If your B/F wont help you out on unanswered questions i can help you out.If you have any questions about archery or guns let me know.i know alot about alot. [email protected][/email]. We'll get you shooting bows for sure.


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## Miss Pink (Nov 5, 2007)

I am very fortunate, my other half was very interested in getting into archery and asked me if I wanted to try it with him. We have had a whole bunch of fun since. One of our friends just found himself a new g/f and she is just getting involved in archery. It's so cute to see them together enjoying each others company and archery at the same time. 

Another friend just started the process of ending his relationship because she doesn't want to do anything with him. Similar to what someone else said that she just stays at home and whines and complains that he is out at the range.

Personally I think you are both missing out on some quality time together. I know it's not easy to wrap your head around, there are better men out there who want you with them. I know there was quite a few women when I first started shooting that were not very impressed with me being with their guys(and mine) all the time. They have since taken the time to get to know us and I don't think there is any problems. If there are they haven't said anything to me.

Good luck in your archery pursuits. I am sure there are some good clubs in MO, join one and have fun. Given time you will find hunting partners who will shoot with you.


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## joessmokin (Oct 16, 2005)

Just a sugestion that I have not seen yet. Go to your bow shop or where ever you get your hunting gear and ask about where they shoot. Tell them you are new to archery and ask if you can go. Most the time when archerers hear you are new to archery they will be more than willing to help you out. Of coarce watch out for the bad people out there.

I have tried to get my wife involved but she wants nothing to do with it except to eat venision:mg:


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## wannabe4937 (Mar 11, 2009)

Oh start the thread! I am sure that there will be a lot of great replies form great guys and girls that would like to take you out with them! i looked at your profile but didn't see where you are from!

And don't worry about him... karma has a way of coming around to bite you in the ass!!!


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## pop-up addict (May 17, 2005)

I just wanted to let you know my husband loves it that I hunt and shoot archery with him. He said he didnt know he was marrying a hunting buddy. It amazes him that I know all the new bows out and the info. The only time he gets frustrated is at xmas and I tell him anything camo or hunting. Thats when he wishes I was girly but thats not me!

Have fun shooting! If hes lying to you about this theres prolly more going on. I hope it all works out for you. SHOOT STRAIGHT AND HAVE FUN!!!!


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## CherokeeGal (Feb 17, 2009)

Call me "girly",but that would hurt me so bad. Sean buys and teaches and wants me involved. It is "our" time. Not something that is dominated by the kids, and work and life. I couldn't imagine. I hate to say it, but if it is weighing on you that much, then maybe it is time to rethink things. You sound awesome, so it would completely be his loss. So keep on huntin' sister. And know that you will always have an ear on AT. We'll support ya whatever you decide!! RIGHT YALL!!!!!!!!


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## mmorganski (Mar 29, 2009)

*haha i feel your pain*

I was just thinking the same thing. My fiance hunts. I started doing archery because of him and he was cool with that. In fact, he encouraged me to buy my bow. Then, I started talking about actually going hunting. Now, I do say silly things some times and I think he feels that I wouldn't have it in me to actually kill something. I think I could and I think I am capable. 

He could talk to his guy friends about different technology for bows and ideas and articles he has read. When I bring them up, he seems to barely pay attention. When I mentioned starting to hunt. He said the same thing yours did... that I need to take a hunter safety class. So, I am in the process of signing up. I mentioned trying to find a place to hunt because I don't think I am going to be able to where he is. I am getting 0 encouragement and he is trying to discourage me instead. 

I thought it might be that he likes to have his manly guy time and I am totally cool with that. I have even pumped up my female cousin into trying to hunt with me as my partner. He isn't excited about that either.

Just don't get it. 

Molly


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## 6bloodychunks (Oct 26, 2005)

i agree with most of the people on here, something smells fishy to me.

my GF of 13yrs does not hunt or shoot a bow ,
(she can shoot a mean pistol though)

she does go with me to film some hunts and to some 3d shoots ,
but EVERYTIME i go i ask her to come along,
(sometimes a sitter cant be found or she just doesnt feel like going)

but the point is I ASK !!!! i love to spend time with her !

and i would LOVE my GF to be as into archery as i am !!!!


my diagnosis ::: .........

sounds like he doesnt want to talk about hunting or help you etc...
because he maybe feels guilty about what he is doing when he SAYS he is hunting or with the guys.

and if he talks to you about (hunting) stuff ,
he might have to make up lies about what he did and where he was,
and then he might forget what he told you ,
and you may catch him in a lie.

just my .02 not trying to be harsh


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## tearley777 (Apr 6, 2008)

*Honey, Honey*

That guy doesn't deserve you!!!!! My husband shot the Paris ASA for the first time last year. I pushed our two boys around in the double stroller through the mud. The whole time I was thinking "I could do that. I want to do that." He bought me a new bow the next month and helped me get it all set up right. We love shooting together at our local Archers for Christ range. Our nine year old daughter then got the bug and wanted a bow. We bought her one, so now we all three shoot together. Our four year old son is showing an interest this year as well.

I can't say for sure what your guy's hang up is. After having two previous relationships with cheaters I see a lot of red flags. I can say this: I am glad to see another woman involved in archery. Try to find a local archery club to get involved with. I would try to sit down one more time with the BF and have a serious talk about what the problem is. If you can"t get a straight answer on this issue you're probably not getting straight answers other places from him either. Depending on his honest answers you may be at a crossroads in the relationship. Pray about it and use the wisdom God gave you about whether this person is right for you or not. 

The one person was totally right about there being a lot of fish in the water to settle for algae!!!!


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## tn_huntress (Apr 18, 2008)

joessmokin said:


> Just a sugestion that I have not seen yet. Go to your bow shop or where ever you get your hunting gear and ask about where they shoot. Tell them you are new to archery and ask if you can go. Most the time when archerers hear you are new to archery they will be more than willing to help you out. Of coarce watch out for the bad people out there.
> 
> I have tried to get my wife involved but she wants nothing to do with it *except to eat venision*:mg:


I love to hunt, but your wife has it figured out!!


Seriously though, if he doesn't want to be involved, screw him & venture out. Hit the local 3-d clubs, make you some hunting/shooting buddies over there, there really are guys out there who love ladies who hunt & shoot! Good luck!


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## rocklocker2 (Feb 12, 2007)

*time to wake up*

make your first hunt one for a new boyfriend,he dont ddeserve you.my wife dont shoot ,hunt or fish but she goes with me when i do.she will take a good book and wait in the clubhouse while i shoot league or 3d.but shes there with mei bought her a new bow a few years ago but she has no interest in shooting just likes to be with me


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## CashMoneyRugby (Feb 3, 2009)

While I do hunt and shoot with my husband this whole situation is one I can still relate to. Basically it comes down to "guy time" and his fear that you'll be impeding on that time. Personally I hate guy time. I love fishing, camping, hunting, and shooting as much (if not more) than ANY of my husbands guy friends. Yet I still get left out often because of the "no girls allowed" crap. It took me a long time to be comfortable (and I admit I'm still not 100%) with this issue. The thing that really got to me is because often.... the whole reason they don't want us women around is because they want to behave like idiots without anyone to yell at them. They want to drink and smoke and do whatever dangerous stunts the other guys dare them to do. Groups of guys always seem to turn back into a bunch of 14 year olds. Not to make you paranoid but you might just want to make sure this boy of yours is behaving behind your back. 

Tressa


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## MN_Chick (Jul 13, 2008)

I think guy time is very, very healthy. They need time with their friends, we need time with ours. And if you do EVERYTHING together, then you eventually have nothing to talk about anymore. On the other side, if you don't have any common interests, why pick that person in the first place? Yes, hunt and shoot together sometimes. And sometimes do it separately. My guy has come home from a night of cards with his work friends and given me a huge kiss, thanking me for being the only sig other who did not call to ask when he was going to be home, or some other silly question.

The issue I saw is that he just blew her off, without a reason. There also seems to be a pattern of telling lies. Dishonesty and disrespect are very unhealthy things in a relationship.

And just to play devil's advocate: if women didnt spend so much time telling guys they are acting like idiots and trying to make them "behave", we would probably be invited more often. They know they are being stupid, but they are having fun. Join in, or at least smile and let them have at it. It's ok to laugh at them when they take a stupid dare and get hurt. They don't ban us because they want to act stupid.. they ban us because they do not want to be nagged while acting stupid.


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## Dewboy (Apr 19, 2005)

*Hunting with BF*

I don't know how serious you and your BF are, but you might want to think long and hard about this...... "If he is this way about hunting with you, how would he be with your kids if you and him ever have any"? I've seen lots of guys that are very selfish and avoid kids, yet the women are clawing to get their hooks in them. Then when they get married and the kids come along, the wife wonders why the guy won't spend time with his kids! While I admit lots of guys have mostly one thing on their mind, Women have tunnel vision as well! Many women ignore all of the bad signals, no matter how obvious! The only advice I can give as a guy is, "OPEN YOUR EYES and Pay Attention to the signals! Join an Archery Club or a hunting club. You will meet so many people with the same interests, this issue will dissappear like a downwind deer!


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## DMaverick (Apr 14, 2003)

Another "guys opinion" here. I think it is B.S. If he wants to be in a relationship for the long haul, then he should be supportive of you and your interests, no matter if they cut into his "man time" or not. He is being selfish, and to much of chicken***** to stand up to his buddies, or, as others have stated, he is out trolling. If you have already caught he and his friends in lies, then it is definitely a bad situation. He does not respect you enough in my opinion. It is far easier to get out of a relationship now then after the legal " I do's."

I got my wife involved in 3-D archery so it would be another thing that I could do with my true best friend, that lead to an interest in hunting, and now there is nobody I'd rather have in the tree with me. Yeah, I caught heck from my friends in the beginning about it, but in all honesty, I think a lot of that was jealousy because their wives/girlfriends expressed no interest in any of it. Now she is accepted as "one of the guys." AS far as being scared of being "shown up." My wife and I are extremely competitive with one another, and she frequently beats me on the 3-D course. If you can't swallow your pride enough to enjoy that with your soul mate, then you aren't with your true soul mate!!! 

Also, we are in Missouri also. My wife would love to have another lady to shoot with. If you are interested at all in getting into 3-D shooting, drop us a line sometime. We'd be happy to help you out and get you pointed in the right direction, and help you learn about that new bow of yours, since somebody else doesn't appear interested.

Ultimately, the decision is clearly yours to make, but think long and hard about what kind of relationship you want to be in. If he is not supportive of you in something like hunting, what else is he not going to support.

Mav


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## ZBWB (Mar 15, 2009)

CashMoneyRugby said:


> While I do hunt and shoot with my husband this whole situation is one I can still relate to. Basically it comes down to "guy time" and his fear that you'll be impeding on that time. Personally I hate guy time. I love fishing, camping, hunting, and shooting as much (if not more) than ANY of my husbands guy friends. Yet I still get left out often because of the "no girls allowed" crap. It took me a long time to be comfortable (and I admit I'm still not 100%) with this issue. The thing that really got to me is because often.... the whole reason they don't want us women around is because they want to behave like idiots without anyone to yell at them. They want to drink and smoke and do whatever dangerous stunts the other guys dare them to do. Groups of guys always seem to turn back into a bunch of 14 year olds. Not to make you paranoid but you might just want to make sure this boy of yours is behaving behind your back.
> 
> Tressa


To me the ONLY reason guys want to go to "camp" "without YOU" is because there are other women going to be there...typically not the "wives" of other guys but more the GF's and their friends that come along...younger, hot, sexy girls that get wasted with them and act goofy and flirty. I flat out do not allow that in my marriage...my hubby going off with a bunch of wild men to camp. I love this sport almost more than he does and we have a load of fun together...he has no reason to go anywhere that wives are not welcome to be there. If he is invited to go on a hunt that says "no women" allowed, then there is something to hide..IMO. Many women shoot better and hunt/kill better than many men...so why should they be left out of a hunting trip? If they can handle the outdoors, the weather, the hunt, the haul back after a kill and the cleaning, and do everything as good as a guy...then there should be no difference and frankly even if they can't "handle" ALL of it as good...that shouldn't matter...the husband should want to help his wife in order to have her with him to enjoy it as much as he does!!!!! If he doesn't...then something about that is not right.

OH!!!!...and the REASON I "KNOW" this about what I wrote above...is because several times when I was younger and single, "I" was one of those young good looking girls with friends that hung out at the married guys camps on hunt trips with my BF I was dating!!!!....and I know exactly what goes on with those married guys that leave their wives at home!...believe me...I witnessed it first hand and it wasn't pretty...lol. THAT is my number one reason for not wanting my own DH to do that...not that he's ever asked to or tried to...he hasn't...but I would not agree with it if he did.


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## sebarrier (Feb 28, 2005)

I totally know how bad it sucks to be in this kind of situation... I agree that men need their alone time, and guy time but if you are really in love with someone, the majority of your time and energy will be spent on them effortlessly. Your situation may be different than the experience I had, but I was always wondering if my bf loved the sport more than he loved me, and I finally realized that if you have even a hint of doubt about that in your mind, you need to move on. It took me about 5 years of being put second to hunting, and that alone almost ruined me on the sport forever.. but there will be someone who will come along who wants you with them and wants to teach you or at least take interest in what you are talking about, and who thinks that it is an absolute TREASURE to have a woman who enjoys the outdoors as much as he does instead of a burden. Good luck.


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## MN_Chick (Jul 13, 2008)

CashMoneyRugby said:


> The thing that really got to me is because often.... the whole reason they don't want us women around is because they want to behave like idiots without anyone to yell at them. They want to drink and smoke and do whatever dangerous stunts the other guys dare them to do. Groups of guys always seem to turn back into a bunch of 14 year olds.


And the problem with that is what, exactly? I am the mother of his (our) children, I am not HIS babysitter. He can act as silly as he wants. I am certainly not going to spend the whole time being the party pooper. If they make a mess, they clean it up. If they get hurt, they have to bandage themselves up. I just sit back and enjoy the show. Sometimes, I even egg it on a little. Occasionally, I have been known to take part in it all.I don't care if they smoke and drink, cuz I will be drinking too- of course after all the hunting is done. I am responsible for me. They are responsible for themselves. Drives me crazy when we are all out having fun and some poor guy is being hen pecked by his woman the entire time, just for acting like all the other guys. 




ZBWB said:


> To me the ONLY reason guys want to go to "camp" "without YOU" is because there are other women going to be there...typically not the "wives" of other guys but more the GF's and their friends that come along...younger, hot, sexy girls that get wasted with them and act goofy and flirty.


Well, why would they want their gfs with them instead of their wives? See above. I am not justifying cheating, not in any way. But why would a man want to hang around with a woman who nagged him all the time instead of the one who had fun and was still flirting with him? Sexy is not just a look, its an attitude. Continue to flirt and have fun, and he won't be tempted to look elsewhere. A lot of women forget the importance of this, and it can't be dumped all on the men's shoulders.

Relationships are a two way street. Respect needs to come from both sides. Let them have fun without getting into trouble every time they cut loose. On occasion, when you do need to say something, do it in private and not in front of his friends.


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## SavageHuntress (Feb 24, 2009)

*Not Nagging*

I guess it looks like I will be moving on............I don't nag, I don't call the cell phone - he does not answer when I call anyway so I quit calling a long time ago. He calls me when he is on his way home & thats it. I'm not a party pooper either. I will get out there and join in with the jokes & have a few :darkbeer: myself. I've been known to do a few crazy things too and I agree, keeping it Sexy & Hot "SHOULD" keep your guy interrested but at this point I think I have tried just about everything - and it's still not working. I think I'm finished with wasting my time on someone who puts me on the back burner all the time. I'm not getting any younger & I know that hunting and fishing are very important to me & will always be a part of my life, so it is my choice to make a better life for myself because I really do deserve a healthier relatioship.


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## BowHunterChck13 (Jun 1, 2008)

I'm sorry but I feel obligated to point this out! How adorable are some of these comments from the guys! 

Countless times I've read through the threads on the bowhunting/general archery sections and see guys make sort of negative comments, whether they are serious or joking about their wives. If only your wives/girlfriends could see some of the things you wrote. So sweet. :teeth:


Pats on the back =)


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## MN_Chick (Jul 13, 2008)

SavageHuntress said:


> I guess it looks like I will be moving on............I don't nag, I don't call the cell phone - he does not answer when I call anyway so I quit calling a long time ago. He calls me when he is on his way home & thats it. I'm not a party pooper either. I will get out there and join in with the jokes & have a few :darkbeer: myself. I've been known to do a few crazy things too and I agree, keeping it Sexy & Hot "SHOULD" keep your guy interrested but at this point I think I have tried just about everything - and it's still not working. I think I'm finished with wasting my time on someone who puts me on the back burner all the time. I'm not getting any younger & I know that hunting and fishing are very important to me & will always be a part of my life, so it is my choice to make a better life for myself because I really do deserve a healthier relatioship.


I in no way at all meant you, and I appologize if it came off that way. You ARE the young hot gf, and shouldn't even have to worry about that. The thread just seemed headed in the direction of man-bashing, and I felt they needed some defending. (That is what they refer to as a thread hijack.)

But you do deserve healthier. And I wish you all the great things you desire. I am willing to bet that you will find it very soon, just get out there and let them see you shine.


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## SavageHuntress (Feb 24, 2009)

Not at all, I wasn't liking the direction it was going either. I try not to man bash anyone. Thanks for your help! (Thread Hijack, I'll have to remeber that one) I think your right, I have not been out there in a while but now that I have it in my head that I need something healthier and the excitement of my bow - I don't think it will take long for me to make new friends & I'm excited about that too.


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