# How come...?



## Clickerati (Mar 20, 2005)

I can only speak from experience, so I'll give my two cents on the "women who don't think they're great" subject. It all comes down to self esteem, which isn't helped by the media spoon feeding men a steady diet of airbrushed supermodels, actresses and wannabe celebs. One percent of the population looks like that and therefore the average woman feels she can't compete. The key to this is subject is convincing her that you genuinely are attracted to her. Grand gestures are wonderful, but sometimes it's the small things that will melt her heart. It depends on the women, of course, as we're all individuals. But we all have our romantic fantasies and hope one day a guy will come along and fulfill that vision instinctively. That would score highly in my book.

I'm still waiting for the day when a man surprises me by showing up on my doorstep some Sunday morning with a basket full of breakfast goodies, the newspaper and a relaxing CD to listen to while we linger until noon. Then I can spend the rest of the day thanking him...


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## cfuhrer (Mar 4, 2004)

Ditto, blame society.


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## dahmer (Jan 16, 2005)

Everything is a Government conspiracy. C'mon ladies. I've waited my whole life for good answers to this question. Why the " bad boy" image is so addicting even after they get the crap beat out of them?


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## cfuhrer (Mar 4, 2004)

Like Clicki I can only answer from my own personal experience. I dont like the "bad boys", nothing against them, they just dont appeal to me.

I guess it goes back to what you were taught by those you grew up around, I know I am an amazing woman with a lot going for me and I want a man that will support me in what I decide to do, just as I would him. 

That being said I dont want a door mat either. Somewhere out there is the perfect combination of rough and tumble combined with respectful and caring and God as my witness I will find him. :wink:


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## 3dmama (Sep 25, 2002)

dahmer...sometimes you have to look at the womans past relationships. If she seems attracted to the "bad boys" who beat the crap out of her, he was probably telling her that she could "never" get anybody else. And after years of hearing: shes overweight, not pretty enough, stupid...etc She tends to believe it.. And it would take ALOT to convince her otherwise


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## Hunting Goddess (Feb 6, 2005)

HMM this reminds me of a line in a movie I saw once, where the girl says she doesn't want a "good" boy and the Auntie says do you want a "wicked" boy and she says no, but I want one that "could be wicked". Or something like that, I think Click is right about the whole self esteem issue, but also some women don't know how to act when treated nice I guess, I have had some bad  relationships, but I allowed it to happen, and I have worked on that and now I don't allow bad things/bad people to stay in my life, first signs of it and i turn and get outta der!!! 
Now the whole media thing, I think we all know about that, I mean really God made us all individuals, so work with what he gave you and be happy with it...or go on that makeover show  
Now Dahmer, you just need to find a condfident, independent and happy woman. A woman who can take care of herself will have confidence and won't NEED you, when a woman doesn't NEED you, then you can be free to be good to each other and be equal in a relationship, no co-dependency!!!! :wink: This probably didn't help you, but it was kind of a general question...and SOMETIMES women will act like they don't think they are attractive so you will shower them with compliments..... you know the infamous question... does this make me look fat....I NEVER EVER ask anyone that question lol if you have to ask you already know the answer!!!!


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## bowmedic (Jun 2, 2004)

You ladies put a whole lot of clarity into this subject. I am sure he will be helped by what you have said. Hope everyone has a great weekend.. Steve :teeth: :thumbs_up


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## Clickerati (Mar 20, 2005)

3dmama said:


> dahmer...sometimes you have to look at the womans past relationships. If she seems attracted to the "bad boys" who beat the crap out of her, he was probably telling her that she could "never" get anybody else. And after years of hearing: shes overweight, not pretty enough, stupid...etc She tends to believe it.. And it would take ALOT to convince her otherwise


You hit the nail on the head mama! And that kind of mental abuse affects anyone who's had it inflicted on them. It's soul destroying.

And I completely agree with Christa, too. You need to find the right combination for you. The best and most successful relationships are those where the couple complements each other. When the pieces fit, it becomes an effortless and natural.


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## str8bowbabe (Apr 20, 2005)

*Dahmer...*

I am still trying to figure out why the good girls arent wanted so I cant help you out there. If you find out anything, I would appreciate some info.


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## Clickerati (Mar 20, 2005)

The simplest thing in life is to love and to be loved. But we lead such complicated lives these days. There is so much hurt and pain in the world that people won't take risks in order to avoid being hurt, but they could be missing out on something wonderful. Not to mention we've been trained to put a higher regard on beauty over personality. If we only took time to get to know people better, we might discover a hidden gem.


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## cfuhrer (Mar 4, 2004)

Clickerati said:


> The simplest thing in life is to love and to be loved. But we lead such complicated lives these days. There is so much hurt and pain in the world that people won't take risks in order to avoid being hurt, but they could be missing out on something wonderful. Not to mention we've been trained to put a higher regard on beauty over personality. If we only took time to get to know people better, we might discover a hidden gem.


Very, very true Leigh.


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## Hunting Goddess (Feb 6, 2005)

3dmama said:


> dahmer...sometimes you have to look at the womans past relationships. If she seems attracted to the "bad boys" who beat the crap out of her, he was probably telling her that she could "never" get anybody else. And after years of hearing: shes overweight, not pretty enough, stupid...etc She tends to believe it.. And it would take ALOT to convince her otherwise


You are right mama  I was in that kind of relationship, I was fortunate enough to learn why I attracted that kind of person,and to get out of it, and hopefully now at least I recognize the signs....not everyone is so lucky, but if you find someone that you really like and are patient with her, who knows you might just be the one to teach her something about herself she didn't know was there.


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## archermike23 (Jan 21, 2004)

dahmer I have been wanting to know the same thing for years and still to this day I have not really gotten that magic answer either, women should have a book compiled about them for us guys to buy so maybe keyword maybe we could figure them out.



> Somewhere out there is the perfect combination of rough and tumble combined with respectful and caring and God as my witness I will find him.


where shall I send my adress to :mg: :wink: :tongue: 

Michael


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## dahmer (Jan 16, 2005)

Forget the book. Not trying to tick off any woman but if they wrote a book with all the answers, at least once a month all the answers would change. I know I wouldn't want to go thru that but the facts are some women have their head spin around on their shoulders. I do agree with the airbrush the perfect woman comment. Wasn't it a few years ago that the " cover girl " for Cosmo was a compilation of different models and the model really didn't exist but everybody wanted to hire " her " for photo shoots? Who's idea is that of perfect? Take one of them skinny prima donna's and I'll bet she couldn't make it 100 yards w/ an elk quarter on her back. Probably whine about the bathroom being the nearest bush and would be appalled that a "fuzzy" candy bar of unknown vintage is lunch. Just can't please some women.


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## archermike23 (Jan 21, 2004)

lol sad but true in most cases


> Forget the book. Not trying to tick off any woman but if they wrote a book with all the answers, at least once a month all the answers would change. I know I wouldn't want to go thru that but the facts are some women have their head spin around on their shoulders. I do agree with the airbrush the perfect woman comment. Wasn't it a few years ago that the " cover girl " for Cosmo was a compilation of different models and the model really didn't exist but everybody wanted to hire " her " for photo shoots? Who's idea is that of perfect? Take one of them skinny prima donna's and I'll bet she couldn't make it 100 yards w/ an elk quarter on her back. Probably whine about the bathroom being the nearest bush and would be appalled that a "fuzzy" candy bar of unknown vintage is lunch. Just can't please some women.


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## Clickerati (Mar 20, 2005)

dahmer said:


> Forget the book. Not trying to tick off any woman but if they wrote a book with all the answers, at least once a month all the answers would change. I know I wouldn't want to go thru that but the facts are some women have their head spin around on their shoulders. I do agree with the airbrush the perfect woman comment. Wasn't it a few years ago that the " cover girl " for Cosmo was a compilation of different models and the model really didn't exist but everybody wanted to hire " her " for photo shoots? Who's idea is that of perfect? Take one of them skinny prima donna's and I'll bet she couldn't make it 100 yards w/ an elk quarter on her back. Probably whine about the bathroom being the nearest bush and would be appalled that a "fuzzy" candy bar of unknown vintage is lunch. Just can't please some women.


We target archers don't have to worry about that. The clubhouse has a kitchen and a loo.


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## Hunting Goddess (Feb 6, 2005)

*Guys turn*

I have to admit that you guys have a point  however, we aren't ALL that way. You know the saying bout few bad apples...
Here's my question....do you guys REALLY and truly want a girl who does the normal "guy" things, like hunt and fish and 3d. I know a lot of guys, even have dated a few who say they do, but in reality once they see how it is..in my case I'll leave you home to go hunting....  they don't really want you there, except maybe once in a while, an old family friend even told me once, men may say that is what they want, but they really don't, they like doing that stuff to get away....so you guys can be honest....is that really what you want, an equal partner in every way? Now granted, I realize in some cases it makes for twice the work for you, but in my case, I hang my own stands, have my own 4 wheeler, and I'm not scared to find my own way in the dark...so my question is again, what do men really want? BE HONEST please.....do you want someone to go with you, or just someone who doesn't complain when you go.......


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## dahmer (Jan 16, 2005)

So what are you trying to tell me Clickie? You don't want to go pack-in hunting or is it just me? See, I knew it, never even met me and she's already blowing me off!


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## moxie-mike (Sep 14, 2004)

Clickerati said:


> We target archers don't have to worry about that. The clubhouse has a kitchen and a loo.


you guys have a club house? must be one of those British things...we have targets...eat at home. i shoot in my yard..some friends of mine have an archery range in their basement.


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## Clickerati (Mar 20, 2005)

dahmer said:


> So what are you trying to tell me Clickie? You don't want to go pack-in hunting or is it just me? See, I knew it, never even met me and she's already blowing me off!


I'm not the "outdoorsy" type. I don't hunt, fish or camp (well, I did camp when I was younger). It doesn't mean I don't enjoy being out-of-doors. I love the sea and snow. I simply prefer the elegance of GNAS and FITA recurve target archery.


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## Clickerati (Mar 20, 2005)

moxie-mike said:


> you guys have a club house? must be one of those British things...we have targets...eat at home. i shoot in my yard..some friends of mine have an archery range in their basement.


I know how you feel about England, Mike, so don't get your knickers in a twist about the clubhouse. I should clarify and say it's nothing grand, but it does have the comforts of home. Here in the UK, you have to take a beginners' course before you can join a club. But the perk is that you have coaches to help train you and free use of equipment for a year. A lot of people set up targets at home, but you can't compete without joining a club. Then on competition days you have lots of tea and cakes. They may drive on the wrong side of the road, but they can be terribly civilised.


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## moxie-mike (Sep 14, 2004)

tea and cake, huh? how about Russian teacakes?


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## dahmer (Jan 16, 2005)

Russian cakes aren't bad, I'm just not eating any creme filled.


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## USMCarcher26 (Apr 2, 2005)

*Honesty*

I have always said like many other fancy cliches honesty is the best policy and if you will allow me to be honest with you then all other relationship traits will take care of its self. A real man will never put his hands on a woman or even talk down to her. Even after my X-wife did what she did to me and in almost 5yrs. of marriageI never called her a name and actually bit my tounge quite a lot and some women would say that I haven't got a backbone.I only hope that I can teach my daughter to have more self respect for herself to not be manipulated by a male and to think that this a sign of affection. I don't show her love that way and "he" most certainly will not either.You are only a victim if you allow yourself to be ladies. Why do nice guys always seem to finish last?


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## Jerry/NJ (Jan 17, 2003)

Hunting Goddess said:


> ....so you guys can be honest....is that really what you want, an equal partner in every way?


Very simply and honestly........YES !


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## USMCarcher26 (Apr 2, 2005)

*oh honestly*

Yes I would love to spend time in the woods or share a treestand and the whole hunting experience with that someone. Someone echo!!! are you out there?


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## dahmer (Jan 16, 2005)

Welcome back Jerry.


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## Hunting Goddess (Feb 6, 2005)

Jerry/NJ said:


> Very simply and honestly........YES !


Finally Jerry, an answer to my question... THANK YOU!  Good answer BTW


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## dahmer (Jan 16, 2005)

Hunting Goddess said:


> I have to admit that you guys have a point  however, we aren't ALL that way. You know the saying bout few bad apples...
> Here's my question....do you guys REALLY and truly want a girl who does the normal "guy" things, like hunt and fish and 3d. I know a lot of guys, even have dated a few who say they do, but in reality once they see how it is..in my case I'll leave you home to go hunting....  they don't really want you there, except maybe once in a while, an old family friend even told me once, men may say that is what they want, but they really don't, they like doing that stuff to get away....so you guys can be honest....is that really what you want, an equal partner in every way? Now granted, I realize in some cases it makes for twice the work for you, but in my case, I hang my own stands, have my own 4 wheeler, and I'm not scared to find my own way in the dark...so my question is again, what do men really want? BE HONEST please.....do you want someone to go with you, or just someone who doesn't complain when you go.......


Why should I have to gut her deer or drag it out. I am 100% serious, a woman that can stay with me in ALL things is a dream come true :thumbs_up . By the way, if you aren't afraid to walk to your stand in the dark would you take me to mine and drop me off :embarasse ?


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## Hunting Goddess (Feb 6, 2005)

Sure Dahmer, I'll even hold your hand to the bottom of your stand if you need me too


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## Jerry/NJ (Jan 17, 2003)

dahmer said:


> Welcome back Jerry.


Thanx brutha.......... :beer: 

Shawna,, that was a no brainer for me. Finding _THAT_ person is all together different tho.


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## dahmer (Jan 16, 2005)

Hunting Goddess said:


> Sure Dahmer, I'll even hold your hand to the bottom of your stand if you need me too


Actually, I was hoping that you would stick around till daylight :embarasse !


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## Unk Bond (Aug 1, 2004)

*Reply to subject*

Hello

Well taking my experiences over my 70 year time frame.

One] i would have to say to look at the environment she is attracted to.

2nd. Evaluate what you have in common.

3 rd look at her mother and family life.

4th. I agree look behind the beauty.Its only sin deep.Like she said, there could be a gem there.And a real wife and companion.


5th. A woman always picks the man.Just be available in her circle.

6th If you are lucky enough to find the one you want. Don't be to dominating and try to mold her to your standard. She was what you wanted in the first place .Why try and change her. Now for the big 2 words [ Being Jealous] That will surely drive you a part,from the word go ,comeing from either side.

7. Oh its love. No its attraction from one to the other.Love and respect is atained over a period of years being together and gaining each others trust.

Unk.


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## LinuxDude (Jan 26, 2005)

Ya gotta like her first, and she's gotta like you back. Only then is there room for love to develop. 

Never say nothin' to her you wouldn't say in front of mama.


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## bowmedic (Jun 2, 2004)

Some guys may not realy want a girl that likes to do everything they do but personally I think it would be great. Shoot tournaments together, work at the deer lease together. Who would you rather spend time with at the deer camp when its cold? My wife would be much warmer I am sure. LOL. I have never been fallen in love with anyone like that. My wife will go sometimes to the lease only in good weather and to hang out not hunt. It would be a nice change of pace for me. ...


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## blue thunder (Jan 20, 2003)

*blue thunder*

Hey!! You guys go easy on the bad boy image.My mother in law did everything in her power to keep my wife from marring me because I was a bad boy.My wife has nine brothers and sisters.Out of them all we are the only ones still married 43 years later.I'm now old.still a bad boy and we will be together to the grave. :thumbs_up


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## dahmer (Jan 16, 2005)

Naw BT, I mean the scum "bad boy" image. You wouldn't be married 43 years if you treated her like a slave and beat her around just for something to do. And if you did, I wouldn't close my eyes when I slept  . In my misspent youth when I was flying colors I still didn't think of myself as a "bad boy".


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## USMCarcher26 (Apr 2, 2005)

*awesome Blue*

You don't see that much anymore. It is to be admired and I envy you and 43 yrs. mine was short lived at only 4 1/2 yrs. and the most beautiful daughter in the world.I would want nothing more even at age 26 to spend 43 yrs. and beyond with someone as good as me.


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## dahmer (Jan 16, 2005)

Hunting Goddess said:


> Sure Dahmer, I'll even hold your hand to the bottom of your stand if you need me too


I was hoping HG that you would stay until daylight and make sure I got in my stand ok! :embarasse . If I shoot one will you gut it for me  ? I hate to get my hands dirty :mg: !


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## Clickerati (Mar 20, 2005)

moxie-mike said:


> tea and cake, huh? how about Russian teacakes?


As long as there is tea brewing, the Brits love cake. It's a delicious, but naughty habit.


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## Clickerati (Mar 20, 2005)

Unk Bond said:


> Hello
> 
> Well taking my experiences over my 70 year time frame.
> 
> ...


Unk, these are words to live by. Thanks you for your lovely insight.


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## dahmer (Jan 16, 2005)

I really like #4 of Unk's post.."Beauty is only sin deep." Even if this is a typo, truer words were never spoken!


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## Salt Grass Mama (Jul 9, 2004)

I know a lady that is married with a young child. Her husband is kind (as far as I know) and hardworking, but she recently told me she has had an affair and when I asked her why she said she loves her husband, but he is "dull". She likes to go out dancing and like to party but he wants to sit at home. I was married to a guy like him and I can understand her frustration (not the affair). It seems guys either are good and boring, or exciting and jerks. What I would like is for a man to make us feel that I am the most important thing in his life. Not the only thing, but the most important. I love my hubby dearly, but often I feel as though I take a back seat to his hobbies. If he showed me half the attention and effort he puts into his hobbies I would be on cloud nine.


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## dahmer (Jan 16, 2005)

As in the cartoon strip, POGO is quoted " We have met the enemy, and it is us." I will counter with one comment. After driving 45 minutes each way to work, putting 8-12 hours, 6 days a week, coming home everyday and taking care of the outside (landscaping, mowing, weedeating, koi pond, etc.), Cooking supper cause even when working 12 hours I'm the first one home, I usually DON'T have much energy left to do anything but sit. Most men would like to have a woman like a deer occasionally. The hornier the better! Most streets are 2 way!


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## jtest28 (Jun 13, 2005)

dahmer said:


> Why does being a " nice guy " automatically force you to the "Why do women think like this?" situation that you know there is no answer & you're screwed.
> How come women that don't think that they are all that great won't go out with you 'cause they don't think you could be interested, you're just asking 'cause your "a nice guy" and women that THINK they're hot usually don't have the I.Q. of warm guacamole and won't go out with you 'cause they all seem drawn to the guys that beat the crap out of 'em and treat 'em like doormats? I've wanted an answer to this for years. OK ladies, let's hear a good reason, key word being GOOD. The great conundrom! No, that's NOT a case condoms!


I have found it's sweet revenge when you're like 30 or so. The same women who refused to date me at 20 are now begging me to date them at 30. Though, even then, I'm starting to suspect they just want me to help them raise the children they had with Mr. Bad Boy....

BTW, I know how you feel. I didn't get my first girlfriend until I was nearly 28 years old. Why? I wasn't reckless enough. When I hit my late 20s and started to sort of lose interest in women, that's when women took notice. So I think one factor is that women don't generally want men who want them. Women like bad boys for the same reason they are fond of cats. Cats don't give a damn about anything.....


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## No Mercy (Feb 12, 2005)

Clickerati said:


> The simplest thing in life is to love and to be loved. But we lead such complicated lives these days. There is so much hurt and pain in the world that people won't take risks in order to avoid being hurt, but they could be missing out on something wonderful. Not to mention we've been trained to put a higher regard on beauty over personality. If we only took time to get to know people better, we might discover a hidden gem.


Powerful words Leigh...sad but true these days!


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## Raxntrax (Jun 15, 2003)

*Nailed It!*

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I have to admit that you guys have a point however, we aren't ALL that way. You know the saying bout few bad apples...
Here's my question....do you guys REALLY and truly want a girl who does the normal "guy" things, like hunt and fish and 3d. I know a lot of guys, even have dated a few who say they do, but in reality once they see how it is..in my case I'll leave you home to go hunting.... they don't really want you there, except maybe once in a while, an old family friend even told me once, men may say that is what they want, but they really don't, they like doing that stuff to get away....so you guys can be honest....is that really what you want, an equal partner in every way? Now granted, I realize in some cases it makes for twice the work for you, but in my case, I hang my own stands, have my own 4 wheeler, and I'm not scared to find my own way in the dark...so my question is again, what do men really want? BE HONEST please.....do you want someone to go with you, or just someone who doesn't complain when you go.......
__________________

She has nailed this one folks! (In my case) 

I wanted to make my wife a arrow slinging machine, and all it did is cause problems with us. Don't ask me why it just did! My wife has not went to the woods in over 3 yrs and it is her choice. I still ask but she likes the way we are and doesn't ever put boundries on my hunting. She kisses every morning and wishes me luck and to be honest haveing that support is worth alot more to me than having her along. Our relationship has blossomed and we know when hunting season is in where I'll be and when summer time is here she has 110% of my attention cause she gives me my time in the woods. Hell if she wants to go to yard sales every weekend I go and never peep a word and it makes her happy. Guy's I hate to say it sometimes the real trophy is sitting at home not in the woods! I learned that my wife is much happier at home even though she got the gear and did it to make me happy I wasn't making things better for us. Now, is a different story. Just my opinion and experience. All I'm saying is like goddess, sometimes getting what you want isn't always the right choice. good luck to all and hope everyone finds the one for them. :thumbs_up


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## Scooter_SC (Jan 26, 2005)

Hunting Goddess said:


> I have to admit that you guys have a point  however, we aren't ALL that way. You know the saying bout few bad apples...
> Here's my question....do you guys REALLY and truly want a girl who does the normal "guy" things, like hunt and fish and 3d. I know a lot of guys, even have dated a few who say they do, but in reality once they see how it is..in my case I'll leave you home to go hunting....  they don't really want you there, except maybe once in a while, an old family friend even told me once, men may say that is what they want, but they really don't, they like doing that stuff to get away....so you guys can be honest....is that really what you want, an equal partner in every way? Now granted, I realize in some cases it makes for twice the work for you, but in my case, I hang my own stands, have my own 4 wheeler, and I'm not scared to find my own way in the dark...so my question is again, what do men really want? BE HONEST please.....do you want someone to go with you, or just someone who doesn't complain when you go.......


I think it is going to depend on the male. For me...I'd love it, but for some men it might be too much. Some guys egos just won't take it... especially when you consistently out shoot them


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## Ivorytooth (Jan 22, 2004)

Hunting Goddess said:


> I have to admit that you guys have a point  however, we aren't ALL that way. You know the saying bout few bad apples...
> Here's my question....do you guys REALLY and truly want a girl who does the normal "guy" things, like hunt and fish and 3d. I know a lot of guys, even have dated a few who say they do, but in reality once they see how it is..in my case I'll leave you home to go hunting....  they don't really want you there, except maybe once in a while, an old family friend even told me once, men may say that is what they want, but they really don't, they like doing that stuff to get away....so you guys can be honest....is that really what you want, an equal partner in every way? Now granted, I realize in some cases it makes for twice the work for you, but in my case, I hang my own stands, have my own 4 wheeler, and I'm not scared to find my own way in the dark...so my question is again, what do men really want? BE HONEST please.....do you want someone to go with you, or just someone who doesn't complain when you go.......



I would like BOTH!! I would love to do those things with someone I care about. I also would like it if they decided not to go, but wouldn't mind if I did. Now, it maybe I wouldn't go if they didn't want to go. I don't do the boys nite out thing hardly at all.

Oh, it was nice to meet you in PA Shawna.


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## Grey Eagle (May 23, 2002)

*Balance is the issue.....*

Her's, mine, and our's.

And I'm not talking about kids, and blended marriage.

My wife has her life, I have mine, and we have one together. I support her's, she supports mine, and we have great fun living one together. If there is some crossover between her's and mine..... great, but it's not necessary.

There is no need for either of us to be in our relationship, we can both stand on our feet. We choose to be there. 17 years and counting, we renew our respective contracts each October   

Dennis


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## Huntin4Elk (Mar 11, 2004)

Grey Eagle said:


> Her's, mine, and our's.
> 
> And I'm not talking about kids, and blended marriage.
> 
> ...


Dennis.............that is awesome. Congrats to both of you, you are VERY lucky,


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## Ivorytooth (Jan 22, 2004)

Huntin4elk said:


> Dennis.............that is awesome. Congrats to both of you, you are VERY lucky,



She has got to be some kind of woman to put up with him.  He has some cute little girls too.  He must of done something right.


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## USMCarcher26 (Apr 2, 2005)

*not acceptable*



Salt Grass Mama said:


> I know a lady that is married with a young child. Her husband is kind (as far as I know) and hardworking, but she recently told me she has had an affair and when I asked her why she said she loves her husband, but he is "dull". She likes to go out dancing and like to party but he wants to sit at home. I was married to a guy like him and I can understand her frustration (not the affair). It seems guys either are good and boring, or exciting and jerks. What I would like is for a man to make us feel that I am the most important thing in his life. Not the only thing, but the most important. I love my hubby dearly, but often I feel as though I take a back seat to his hobbies. If he showed me half the attention and effort he puts into his hobbies I would be on cloud nine.


Ladies, I was married for 4 1/2 yrs. I traveled a lot with my job and had every oppurtunity in the world to do what ever I wanted no one was going to tell on me but I had more respect for myself for my wife and the vowe we made to each other. Instaed she took advantage of that. I would rather she ended what we had instead she had the affair. I like to go out and have a good time, but instead she chose to go out with a "friend" and I had to stay at home with our daughter, what choice did I have but to trust her, after all she is my wife. There is no excuse for this. If you are that unhappy, you have to "communicate this" to us so we can work it out. Obviously they have to be willing, and I was. Two rights do not make a wrong. This is very personal info. but married couples must know that "cheating" on your spouse is not the answer. I realize that every situation and person is different the benefit of the doubt has to be given then so steps can be taken. My situation is different so if you have questions about your own PM me and I will tell you about it. Husbands and wives need to stop hurting each other and take into account feelings of the one that at one time you had very strong feelings for or you would not have married them remember!!!


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## bowtech_babe (Jun 7, 2002)

Unk Bond said:


> Hello
> 
> Well taking my experiences over my 70 year time frame.
> 
> ...


I must say Unk, that was a profound post and I have a respect for others that have lived/learn from their experiences. 

Thanks for your insight into relationships  

Samantha


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## dahmer (Jan 16, 2005)

bowtech_babe said:


> I must say Unk, that was a profound post and I have a respect for others that have lived/learn from their experiences.
> 
> Thanks for your insight into relationships
> 
> Samantha


See Samantha, us old & older folks have insight in most things :smile: . Most of us are smart rnough to keep it to ourselves unless asked :shade: .


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## MNmike (Dec 27, 2003)

*I can honestly say....*

I wouldn't want Brenda out hunting (archery) with me always.

Shooting targets would be nice, and she's all for that. But I know she wouldn't want to hunt deer. Maybe upland and duck hunting.

We do everything else together but hunting now. And things are great.

It (IMO) would be un-healthy to have EVERYTHING in-common. As it is good to have different intrests that separate you for short periods of time.

Sorry to hear alot of you don't have that perfect "mate" to spend time with.  

I agree on what has been said on the reasons for women to go for the worst (bad boy) guy for them. It's what they have been accustomed to. But at the same time girls and guys, come on, you don't want a total push-over either. Got to have someone that has a brain and uses it.

It took until I was in my mid thirties to meet the women of my dreams to speak. I did make the wrong choices before hand, but as I look back, those wrong choices helped make me the person I am today and what I look for in friendships and lovers.

So all I can say is it will come to you without you needing to look for it.


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## dahmer (Jan 16, 2005)

Yeah, but when you have a woman like HuntingGoddess that has her own ATV, treestands, hunting equipment :mg: , and will walk you to your stand and hold your hand in the dark :embarasse , why would you want to leave home without her :wink: ?


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## Hunting Goddess (Feb 6, 2005)

*I figured*

Well, I am glad you guys are being honest...I suspected as much  however, you know you guys are talking about molding your wives....in my case...I'm already the hunter (the only hunter in my family, my dad and brother don't hunt) so I personally think it would be a waste for me to share a life with someone who doesn't hunt and love the outdoors, or who doesn't want to share that with me..... I'm not too worried though, I'm sure I will find that someone who truly appreciates having a partner like me :teeth: but it's good to see there ARE some happily married folks out there!


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## Hunting Goddess (Feb 6, 2005)

*Awwww*



dahmer said:


> Yeah, but when you have a woman like HuntingGoddess that has her own ATV, treestands, hunting equipment :mg: , and will walk you to your stand and hold your hand in the dark :embarasse , why would you want to leave home without her :wink: ?


Oh Dahmer...you are so sweet  Thank you


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## dahmer (Jan 16, 2005)

You're kinda like the American Express Card Shawna, "Don't leave home without it!"  I guess the point I'm trying to get across is that to find women like that you're gonna have to be really lucky and really quick before somebody else grabs 'em up  . Very few women have a true desire to really hunt with conviction :sad: .


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## Scooter_SC (Jan 26, 2005)

Hunting Goddess said:


> Well, I am glad you guys are being honest...I suspected as much  however, you know you guys are talking about molding your wives....in my case...I'm already the hunter (the only hunter in my family, my dad and brother don't hunt) so I personally think it would be a waste for me to share a life with someone who doesn't hunt and love the outdoors, or who doesn't want to share that with me..... I'm not too worried though, I'm sure I will find that someone who truly appreciates having a partner like me :teeth: but it's good to see there ARE some happily married folks out there!



I don't think you will have a difficult time finding someone who shares your interests. I think it is great that you are interested in hunting as well as archery. Just out of curiosity, how did you develop your interest in hunting when your dad doesn’t hunt?  

Did you end up making it down for the Myrtle Beach ASA shoot last April? I seem to remember you posting that you were considering it.


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## Hunting Goddess (Feb 6, 2005)

Scooter_SC said:


> I don't think you will have a difficult time finding someone who shares your interests. I think it is great that you are interested in hunting as well as archery. Just out of curiosity, how did you develop your interest in hunting when your dad doesn’t hunt?
> 
> Did you end up making it down for the Myrtle Beach ASA shoot last April? I seem to remember you posting that you were considering it.


Yes I made it to SC, mud, water and all


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## Scooter_SC (Jan 26, 2005)

Hunting Goddess said:


> Yes I made it to SC, mud, water and all


It was pretty bad wasn't it... It was my first formal shoot, but despite the weather, I still really enjoyed it.


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## Scooter_SC (Jan 26, 2005)

Clickerati said:


> As long as there is tea brewing, the Brits love cake. It's a delicious, but naughty habit.


Hey Click... What's all this talk about cake? It's making me hungry :tongue:


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## Clickerati (Mar 20, 2005)

Scooter_SC said:


> Hey Click... What's all this talk about cake? It's making me hungry :tongue:


And here I thought I'd been forgotten....

The best part of British archery clubs is tea and cake in the clubhouse. British archers luuuurve cake!! 

So keep thoughts of me, archery and cake on your mind because I'm going on holiday until the 26th.

Miss me!


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## cfuhrer (Mar 4, 2004)

Clickerati said:


> And here I thought I'd been forgotten....!


How could we do something like that?!?!



Clickerati said:


> Miss me!


How could we not?!?!


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## Clickerati (Mar 20, 2005)

cfuhrer said:


> How could we do something like that?!?!
> How could we not?!?!


Awww. Christa, you're a star!


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## Scooter_SC (Jan 26, 2005)

Clickerati said:


> And here I thought I'd been forgotten....
> 
> The best part of British archery clubs is tea and cake in the clubhouse. British archers luuuurve cake!!
> 
> ...


Click, I doubt anyone could forget you... :tongue: Enjoy your vacation! :teeth:


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## dahmer (Jan 16, 2005)

Clickie, England will be in mourning till you get back  ! Birth rate will probably increase in 9 months as men will start paying attention to their wives again for the next couple of weeks :mg: . :wink:


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## archermike23 (Jan 21, 2004)

Leigh have a good vacation and be safe. Hurry back though so I can read some more good threads :wink: 

Michael


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## No Mercy (Feb 12, 2005)

Clickerati said:


> And here I thought I'd been forgotten....
> 
> 
> So keep thoughts of me, archery and cake on your mind because I'm going on holiday until the 26th.
> ...


Have a great time on your well deserved holiday! 

We will miss you!


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## Scooter_SC (Jan 26, 2005)

Hey Click, is this your annual trip to North Carolina? Enjoy your vacation! :wink:


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## bowme..2 (Apr 20, 2005)

*Hunting Goddess........*



Scooter_SC said:


> I don't think you will have a difficult time finding someone who shares your interests. I think it is great that you are interested in hunting as well as archery. Just out of curiosity, how did you develop your interest in hunting when your dad doesn’t hunt?
> 
> I'm interested in this question as well! Answer please........
> 
> Cya Rick


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## Hunting Goddess (Feb 6, 2005)

bowme..2 said:


> Scooter_SC said:
> 
> 
> > I don't think you will have a difficult time finding someone who shares your interests. I think it is great that you are interested in hunting as well as archery. Just out of curiosity, how did you develop your interest in hunting when your dad doesn’t hunt?
> ...


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## archermike23 (Jan 21, 2004)

great story shawna and I bet your father is very proud of you for your achievements.

Michael


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## Scooter_SC (Jan 26, 2005)

Very good post :thumbs_up


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## bowme..2 (Apr 20, 2005)

*Thanks Hunting Goddess.....*

I appreciate your swift reply to someone elses question. I love seeing WOMEN like yourself in our sport! :thumbs_up 

I was wondering because I'am dating a gal now that LOVES being outdoors with me, and GENUINELY LOVES IT! I've asked her a very similiar question about what drives her and where the desire came from. She justs says "Its what I've always wanted to do". She hadn't come from a hunting background either. 

She took her first turkey (shotgun) this past spring and to be quite honest, she's a natural! Before February she had never pulled the trigger on a shotgun or on an animal before. I bought her a bow back in April and we've spent many evenings and weekends since shooting our bows together. I simply love teaching her! Once again she's a natural with the bow. We went head to head (for fun and laughs) last weekend shooting single arrows at the 3D target and she put 3 out of her six shots in the 12 ring @ 24yds! The other 3 were definite double lungers as well. Not bad for someone who has only been shooting for a couple of months! :teeth: 

We are already in the works of accessorizing her to go deer hunting this fall and I CAN"T WAIT! The thing I LOVE so much about her is that she shows a TRUE, and GENUINE desire to learn something that is VERY dear to me! The look in her eye and the questions she has for me.... there's no denying! 

I couldn't ask for more, a beautiful WOMAN, FRIEND and HUNTING PARTNER! Its what I've always desired.... the future looks bright! 

Hopefully she'll be posting some TROPHY PHOTOS come October! :teeth: 

Cya Rick


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## Bnbfishin (Apr 25, 2004)

*very cool.....*

I'll share my kind of "oposing" view of this thread, if you will in a couple of days. I would really like to hear a woman's perspective on it :embarasse I already have a feeling as to what the guys will say  But maybe I'll "sit" away with a lil more insight than what I am getting out of it. Right now I have to head to tonights 3-D league :teeth: 

Bill


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## WIbow (Nov 10, 2004)

Hunting Goddess said:


> I have to admit that you guys have a point  however, we aren't ALL that way. You know the saying bout few bad apples...
> Here's my question....do you guys REALLY and truly want a girl who does the normal "guy" things, like hunt and fish and 3d. I know a lot of guys, even have dated a few who say they do, but in reality once they see how it is..in my case I'll leave you home to go hunting....  they don't really want you there, except maybe once in a while, an old family friend even told me once, men may say that is what they want, but they really don't, they like doing that stuff to get away....so you guys can be honest....is that really what you want, an equal partner in every way? Now granted, I realize in some cases it makes for twice the work for you, but in my case, I hang my own stands, have my own 4 wheeler, and I'm not scared to find my own way in the dark...so my question is again, what do men really want? BE HONEST please.....do you want someone to go with you, or just someone who doesn't complain when you go.......


Would love a partner that would spend some quality time out in the woods or out on the boat. The fact that you can or she can hang your/their stands is fantastic as you are into it and are independent and know a good potential area or spot as opposed to someone who really doesn;t know what to look for. The day when I'm left home because my girl is out hunting...the smile on my face would hurt because it would last til she got home! How killer is that,
it's Miller time cause it doesn't get any better than that. I honestly don't know what I'd do if I ever find that woman as perfection is the only word I can come with. A good friend,partner and lover...someday.

Find someone you love 
and live everyday as if it were your last! :thumbs_up


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## Clickerati (Mar 20, 2005)

Scooter_SC said:


> Hey Click, is this your annual trip to North Carolina? Enjoy your vacation! :wink:


No, I'm further north this year taking in a state I've never been to before, but hope to visit again!


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## lungbuster-gal (May 1, 2005)

*dahmer*

maybe you can answer this one for me, why do some men put up with women who belittle them? I have seen some men just jump through hoops to please a women and all she does is yell and bark orders. I just think to myself, I wouldn't even want that woman as a friend let alone a partner. Call me old fashioned, I don't believe in snapping at a partner in public, it's embarassing. Wait until your in your car or at home if you have something to say.


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## dahmer (Jan 16, 2005)

I think it's a combinatioin of things, called spine, guts, and probation. Or her mother is the rich one and she ain't close to dying.


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## bigskyhunter (Jan 10, 2005)

So, I'm a little late posting, but I have to say that I agree with HuntingGoddess on her statement. I myself am an avid hunter (but this will be my first year with a bow), and I think that a lot of guys SAY that they want a woman who will go with them, but they don't really feel that way. My experience was that guys were initially intrigued, but that wore off and then they didn't want it anymore. Whether it was their egos or what, I don't know. What I do know is that I found a perfect partner. I don't think that everyone wants the type of relationship we have, but we love our lives. We play hard together, and we work hard together. As far as women belittling men, (or the other way around) I don't understand it either. Some people seem to be more malicious than me. My husband and I always joke that we "fight fair". Of course we disagree on things, we are two separate people. (and if he'd just listen better... :wink: ) 
Anyway, I think that everyone has a good point and that we are all individuals who want and expect different things. Hopefully, everyone has a chance to experience true happiness, whatever the form.


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## dahmer (Jan 16, 2005)

bigskyhunter said:


> So, I'm a little late posting, but I have to say that I agree with HuntingGoddess on her statement. I myself am an avid hunter (but this will be my first year with a bow), and I think that a lot of guys SAY that they want a woman who will go with them, but they don't really feel that way. My experience was that guys were initially intrigued, but that wore off and then they didn't want it anymore. Whether it was their egos or what, I don't know. What I do know is that I found a perfect partner. I don't think that everyone wants the type of relationship we have, but we love our lives. We play hard together, and we work hard together. As far as women belittling men, (or the other way around) I don't understand it either. Some people seem to be more malicious than me. My husband and I always joke that we "fight fair". Of course we disagree on things, we are two separate people. (and if he'd just listen better... :wink: )
> Anyway, I think that everyone has a good point and that we are all individuals who want and expect different things. Hopefully, everyone has a chance to experience true happiness, whatever the form.


That thing about your husband listening better, forget it! It is a confirmed medical condition called selective hearing. It really does exist! Take for instance that I can here a deer shift his foot at 200 yards, but my wife screaming in the next room about dirty socks is unheard. To this day scientists are still baffled, something about some kind of Bermuda Triangle for sound.


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## bigskyhunter (Jan 10, 2005)

Isn't that the truth!!! I have to admit though, he does pretty good for the amount of talking I do. The running joke is that if I'm not talking, I'm either unhappy or asleep. (sometimes he isn't even safe when I'm sleeping, cause I tend to talk in my sleep. No deep dark secrets are safe with me...) :smile:


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## Jerry/NJ (Jan 17, 2003)

bigskyhunter said:


> (sometimes he isn't even safe when I'm sleeping, cause I tend to talk in my sleep. No deep dark secrets are safe with me...) :smile:


UH OHHHHH  :teeth:


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## Jeremy Loop (Apr 20, 2005)

*what i want*



Hunting Goddess said:


> I have to admit that you guys have a point  however, we aren't ALL that way. You know the saying bout few bad apples...
> Here's my question....do you guys REALLY and truly want a girl who does the normal "guy" things, like hunt and fish and 3d. I know a lot of guys, even have dated a few who say they do, but in reality once they see how it is..in my case I'll leave you home to go hunting....  they don't really want you there, except maybe once in a while, an old family friend even told me once, men may say that is what they want, but they really don't, they like doing that stuff to get away....so you guys can be honest....is that really what you want, an equal partner in every way? Now granted, I realize in some cases it makes for twice the work for you, but in my case, I hang my own stands, have my own 4 wheeler, and I'm not scared to find my own way in the dark...so my question is again, what do men really want? BE HONEST please.....do you want someone to go with you, or just someone who doesn't complain when you go.......



I want someone who shares the interest of archery and does not mind when I go hunting. I would be more than happy to take her along if she wanted to go hunting. (she just cant be beside me if we are bow hunting) I want someone who is very sweet, kind, and loving. Someone who i can come home to after a hard day at work or a long day in the stand and share what happend. Someone who loves me for me and not the things that I have. Someone who takes some time for herself and don't mind if I take some for me either. I hope this helps you in answering your question.


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## BUCKSTER (Jan 20, 2003)

Dahmer....To answer your #1 post......not all women think that way. Maybe it just happens to be the women you choose.......Let me see do you choose what is refered to as high maintnence women.....You know perfectly made up with, no hair out place....?

Clicky.....great post #2....BTW You have the best name ever..Leigh...form a Leigh :wink: 

Next as far as men go and wanting thier women to go hunting and such.....If as a man you feel the need to get "away" from your wife/girlfreind you chose the wrong one. 

My husband is my best friend and I'm his, yes we do most things together, but if we choose to do other things seperatly(sp) it not becasue either of us wants to get away form the other.


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## dahmer (Jan 16, 2005)

BUCKSTER said:


> Dahmer....To answer your #1 post......not all women think that way. Maybe it just happens to be the women you choose.......Let me see do you choose what is refered to as high maintnence women.....You know perfectly made up with, no hair out place....?
> 
> Clicky.....great post #2....BTW You have the best name ever..Leigh...form a Leigh :wink:
> 
> ...


My idea of high maint. is having to open her can of Coke  . So I don't think that is an issue. :wink:


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## Scooter_SC (Jan 26, 2005)

lungbuster-gal said:


> maybe you can answer this one for me, why do some men put up with women who belittle them? I have seen some men just jump through hoops to please a women and all she does is yell and bark orders. I just think to myself, I wouldn't even want that woman as a friend let alone a partner. Call me old fashioned, I don't believe in snapping at a partner in public, it's embarassing. Wait until your in your car or at home if you have something to say.


I think it is a matter of confidence in oneself. It takes all different kinds of people to make the world go round. Some are domineering while others are passive. Passive men usually end up with domineering women. Perhaps in the back of their mind they are thinking that maybe this is the best I can get... Truth is if they left one domineering woman, they would probably end up with another.


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## jerrytee (Feb 5, 2005)

Unk Bond makes a lot of sense.As for what to do you must make it clear that you are able to see the person and not just the outer shell.As for me I think that a women should find me as attractive as I find her ,she should be able to hold up her end of an inteligent conversation.and hold up her end of the gear box if I have to change the clutch.


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## Strutter Cutter (Jun 28, 2004)

*That's what I was thinking!*



BUCKSTER said:


> Dahmer....To answer your #1 post......not all women think that way. Maybe it just happens to be the women you choose.......Let me see do you choose what is refered to as high maintnence women.....You know perfectly made up with, no hair out place....?
> 
> Clicky.....great post #2....BTW You have the best name ever..Leigh...form a Leigh :wink:
> 
> ...


I was thinking that about HG's comment, I think she's just not found the right one of us. I can't put into words what it would be like for me to wake up with my partner saying, let's go! 
I've travelled all over the U.S. hunting, turkeys mainly, with friends and a lot by myself. I wished that I could have found someone to share the passion with a few years ago. I've seen many things that I wished I could have shared with that life partner. I'll gladly retrace the steps to share what I've experienced with someone else. I'm still looking. I'm very glad to hear so many of ya'll have found the exact companion to make you happy.


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## Clickerati (Mar 20, 2005)

BUCKSTER said:


> Clicky.....great post #2....BTW You have the best name ever..Leigh...form a Leigh :wink:


Awww...thank you Buckster!!! I used to hate my name growing up because no one could spell it or pronounce it. So it's nice to get a lovely compliment. I'm flattered.


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## farms100 (Jan 16, 2003)

I treat women with class, and expect them to treat me with class. If they think they need a bad boy let them look elsewhere. Those woman that think they need bad boy will just end up unhappy and bitter. I know several good looking smart single women told me that its rare they get treated with class. 

I don't demand my wife to come with me shooting if she does not wish to. Nor does she demand I go riding motorcycles with her. We share so many other things it is nice to have something that is "my hobby", and not "our hobby" I ride motorcycles but not often. You would never catch me doing this, but she enjoys it a lot so I support her in this. Just as She supports me shooting archery.

http://www.archerytalk.com/vb/showpost.php?p=1563432&postcount=3020


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## tinbender (Jun 20, 2005)

well maybe i`m odd but I actually do really truly want a woman who will hunt and fish and camp and shoot dam near every day with me, doing those things isn`t a prerequesite and I can be extremely happy with a woman who doesnt do any of those things but if I ever found a woman who did i`d certainly think I was the luckiest sob alive.

I tend to attract women who are into doing the guy stuff alot but its never gotten serious with one because I think they assume i`m a bad boy by judging my appearence when in fact i`m usually a big teddy bear (well unless provoked, and I mean really provoked)

or they think i`m a dirtbag, but thats ok I make a dam fine living and dont have to wear a suit, or go into my office for more then a few minutes a day and my boss has been known to bring beer to the yard when i`m working late :slice: :beer:


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## DwayneR (Feb 23, 2004)

Hello Hunting Godess.

HG>>do you guys REALLY and truly want a girl who does the normal "guy" things, like hunt and fish and 3d.<<

Heck yes!!! Nothing would be ever so nice to have a mate that would stand beside you, and enjoy some of the stories, fun times, and stupid things we get ourselves into.

Wouldn't a lady want to have their guys along with them on a trip to XYZ place? To enjoy, point out, and share with them the things they enjoy? Its a part of love that both should want to share.

HG>> I know a lot of guys, even have dated a few who say they do, but in reality once they see how it is..in my case I'll leave you home to go hunting....<<

Now we have to compare apples to apples here also. I have seen a couple, in which the lady dressed up in camo... went out with the guy, and started filing her fingernails in the tree stand.

At the same time, I saw a lady who when with the man.... Slept in "late" until the man got hunting done in the morning, but was willing to help drag the deer, listen to stories, support him in other ways. And they went to eat at a restraunt after the hunt! 

Then we see ladies who dress in Camo... bring bows, and be a hunter.

A person can either support with earnest and heart, or support with nothing. And it is a two way street... A guy can either go with the lady and support her interest, or go with the lady and ho-hum around... doing other things.

Dwayne


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## Huntergrl (Jun 30, 2005)

I was reading some of you guys posts and wanted to make a comment of my own. My husband was a bad boy, he did a lot of stuff he wasn't proud of but would have never hit a women. I am his third wife. His other wives cheated on him and treated him like crap. All he wanted in life was a best friend to hunt with him and help take care of his house and his children and to love him as much as he loved her. It took him awhile but as they say third times a charm. We are miserable if we are not in the woods together. Hunting, scouting, practicing, making food plots and any other part of hunting. We go 4-wheeler riding together and with the kids. I have my own rifle, my own climbing stand, and this year I get my own bow. His children, which are now my children also, want to hunt and now that I'm getting a bow they want one too. I think that if you want something in life, and your willing to wait long enough the Lord will bring it to you. He is my best friend and I am his. We love each other with every fiber of our being and that is the way it will be for the rest of our lives. When we are too old to climb, I bet we get a blind and just sit out and watch the deer and other wildlife.


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